《Odd One Out》Chapter Forty Three - His Sleeping Arrangements
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"You gonna sleep here all day?" Was the annoying sound that woke me up from a restless sleep. All I could dream of was Mabel and her face when I told her I needed space. I was a moron. I didn't want space from her. I wanted more of her. How the hell did I manage to screw up the one good thing I had going for me?
"Just asking because you're on my couch and it's Saturday. More affectionately known in this house as couch, cereal, and cartoon day," Matt paused as I continued to ignore him. Maybe he'd go away if I pretended to sleep. "And yet he continues to ignore me." Shoot.
"What?" I hissed at Matt as I sat up, the blanket tumbling off of my chest and shot a glare at Matt. He could be annoying when he didn't try so this said a lot about him.
"You want to talk about-" Matt began just as Miranda cut him off.
"-We are not encouraging this behaviour, Matt! He can sleep on our couch because we're friends but I draw the line at trying to understand his idiotic decisions," Miranda's body came into view as she stood in front of me, both hands on her hips, a fierce expression on her face. She might be small, but she was terrifying.
Matt put one arm around his wife, the other still holding his bowl of cereal. "You're right, honey."
I ran a hand through my hair. Maybe it was time to crash at Joey's shit apartment. This was too much involvement.
"I'll be out of both your hair soon," I conceded as I grabbed my t-shirt off the floor and pulled it over my head.
I knew I couldn't go home. I heard one of Mabel's sniffles when she got back home from my apartment that night and I felt like my heart had been lit on fire. It wasn't fair to her. She was perfect. I was always the issue, not her. I wasn't right.
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Miranda huffed, her laser gaze still stuck on me. "And where are you gonna go?"
I shrugged ignoring the urge to roll my eyes for fear she'd yell at me again. "Joey's? I don't know."
"Joey's," She mocked. "You know what? You deal with this," She gestured to Matt before walking away in a huff.
"Sorry man," I told Matt as I stood up and folded the blanket on the couch.
Matt sat down and took a bite out of his cereal and chewed loudly. "Miranda's just frustrated," He swallowed. "You were happy, Marcus. What happened?"
I paused, my heart beating quickly at the very thought of Mabel. All I wanted to do was forget it all. Yet here I was stuck in this shitty situation again. "Nothing," I grumbled. Why couldn't Matt leave me alone? "I'm gonna shower and I'll get out of here."
Matt sighed, "You can stay, Marcus. We've been through this with you before, I don't want you to go through it again. Especially if you don't have to."
I didn't even make eye contact as I walked away from him and to the bathroom. All that I could think of was how much Mabel must hate me. And it was all my fault from the very beginning. I should have told her I couldn't help her with her stupid plan with Jackson. I was an idiot. I knew I liked her even back then. Who couldn't? She was the most precious person I'd ever met.
I left Miranda and Matt's twenty minutes later and got in my truck with no real idea of where I was going. I felt lost.
I called Joey from my truck and he answered after the fourth ring with a groggy, "Hello?"
"Did I wake you up?" I asked.
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I heard a yawn followed by a, "No I was up. Or I need to be up. What day is it?"
"Saturday," I replied bluntly.
"Right," He trailed, "I was already up then. How are you doing? Matt told me things were kind of low for you."
I rolled my eyes. Of course Matt had to spread the word like the gossip he was. "I'm fine," I responded gruffly. "Mind if I crash at your place tonight and if I bring Marco?"
"Yeah for sure," He paused. "Listen, don't be upset at Matt. We're just worried about you."
"Well maybe you two could do a better job of leaving me be. So I need a place to crash. Haven't you both used my place before? I didn't nag you to the ends of the earth," I fumed. I was sick of them walking over eggshells around me like I was a fragile child. I made a decision and I was dealing with the repercussion of that shitty decision.
"Okay, okay. Sorry man. You can crash here. Leave Marco, too. I have a couple days off," Joey responded. At least he knew better than to irritate me right now.
"Thanks," I responded gruffly, ending the call quickly. I knew I was being a prick. I couldn't help it.
I didn't need my friends telling me that I made a mistake. Every minute of every day I knew I had made a huge mistake letting Mabel go. I was a moron. But I also knew that I wasn't good for her and I had to think of her needs, not just my own. Because I knew she'd stick by me and support me, but she didn't deserve the crap that I brought to the table. For once in my life, I couldn't be selfish. I had to think of her first like she'd done so many times with me.
I somehow found myself creeping towards my parents. I always came back to them especially in times of crisis. This was when I desperately wished they were alive. My mom could tell me everything would be fine. My dad could make a lame joke and give me advice. I sometimes felt like I couldn't do this alone.
I walked to a flower shop nearby and bought a bouquet of wild flowers for them as I usually did when I came to visit. My mom used to love wild flowers.
"Hey mom and dad," I whispered as I knelt on the ground, placing the flowers down on the ground. "Miss you."
I talked about what a fuck up I felt like and how much I missed their presence.
I talked all the while staring at a pink vase that sat at the base of their graves. A pink vase filled with fresh daisies.
I continued to talk about this sweet girl to my parents as I stared at the bouquet of flowers sitting in front of me. This sweet girl who had clearly come to visit my parents sometime after I'd told her I needed space from her. This sweet girl who bought them a vase and filled it with flowers. And I couldn't stop talking about her.
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I'm not one to brag, but ANOTHER chapter?! I might cry.
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