After a few minutes, Marcus unwrapped his arms from around me. "This-" He began, "this is the kindest thing anyone has ever done for me, Maybie."

I rolled my eyes at him to ease the tension, "It's dog sitting, Marcus. Don't mention it."

He moved his hand to my face, tucking a strand of my probably crazy hair behind my ear. "Don't do that. I'm being serious."

I gulped loudly at the shiver that ran down my spine as he pulled his hand back and walked to my couch, plopping his body onto it. I followed him and did the same, sitting next to him. "Are you feeling okay?" I asked, testing the waters to see if he wanted to talk.

Marcus played with the edges of the dog bed I had placed on my sofa for a moment before replying. "My relationship with Vanessa was the most difficult time in my life, Mabel. We met when we were in high school and started dating. We fell in love. I believe that. But, I started to notice things about her. She would have these phases where she'd barely sleep or eat or talk. And others where she couldn't stop talking or moving. It was fine at first, we made it work. But it started to get worse." Marcus ran a hand down his face as he spoke. He looked exhausted.

"She started to have worse, manic episodes, where she'd take off on me and go out for weeks at a time, missing school, taking off on everyone. She'd come back and admit she'd cheated on me and that it wouldn't happen again. I begged her to ask for help. To talk to someone. But that just made her mad. She was offended that I thought there was something wrong with her. I tried to tell her everyone needs help." He sucked in a breath. He eyes darted to mine before quickly shifting away as though he couldn't believe he was telling me this.

"I decided to break up with her because I couldn't handle it. I couldn't take her not trying to manage things. I was always confused or worried and always terrified that she might hurt herself. But when I did that, she shifted. She said she'd kill herself if I left her. That she'd jump off the next building she saw. She was screaming, hitting me, saying that I could never leave her. So I told her I wouldn't. I'd stay until the end."

"Things got so much worse after that. She would make out with guys in front of me when we went out. Try to make me jealous or angry in any way she could. She was trying to make me pay for trying to break up. I was in a really bad place. Depressed constantly. I almost dropped out of college at that point. Matt and Joey helped me get through it. They said I needed to talk to someone about it. So I started to see a therapist and then I went to see her brother, Ethan. I told him about Vanessa but he wouldn't believe me. He said I was a coward and just wanted an easy out. I told him I couldn't do the relationship anymore. That it was killing me to leave but I was dying by staying. So I sat with Vanessa and told her I couldn't."

"She was calm. She said she knew I'd say it eventually. She said things weren't the same between us and that she wasn't happy. She hugged me. Kissed me. Told me she loved me. And a week later, Ethan called me to say she killed herself."

Marcus's chest was heaving as he spoke. He had tears falling down his face. He looked so broken.

"T-there isn't a moment," he cried, "That I don't blame myself."

"Marcus," I murmured getting up to crouch in front of him on the floor. "This wasn't your fault. She needed help. Those were issues that were beyond your control. There's nothing more you could have done. You're amazing and caring and you tried your best. That's all anyone can ask you to do. You can't make decisions for other people."

I wrapped my arms around his torso for the second time that night and he did the same to me, holding on like he really needed it. In that moment, he really did.

Eventually we let go of each other and I sat on the floor in between Marcus's legs, my back to him. I could feel his exhaustion radiating off of him and didn't want to push the conversation any further. "Pizza?" I asked turning around to look at him.

He gave me a half smile, "Yeah."

I pulled out my phone and ordered an extra cheesy pizza (you need extra cheese when you're upset) with brownies on the side (because you always need brownies.)

I reached for the remote and turned my tv on, fully aware that neither of us were currently watching tv, our minds racing from our conversation.

I felt Marcus's hands playing gently with my hair, his fingers shifting through the waves of crazy frizz that I'm sure it currently was and I felt my eyes slowly drift shut.

By the time I woke up, there was an uneaten pizza on my table and Marcus was nowhere in sight. I lugged myself to my bed where I collapsed onto the unmade sheets and fell into a sleepless night of dreams of unfaithful partners and Marcus's tear stained face.