*pacing back and forth* No way, no way, no way! You can't possibly be serious! I can't believe you– Wait a second! You're just messing with me, aren't you? I see, I see, so that's all it was, huh? *chuckles* Pretty sure you'll be back in three, two, one–

[Fifteen days later.]

(Mean Lapis slumped over the warp pad.)

*heavy sighing* Why?! *moans* Why aren't you back yet?! *sits up in warp pad* So you weren't kidding about leaving, huh? But why'd you do that? Why did you leave me?! *blushes* I-I-I-I mean, why did you leave, uh... *grasps her head with both hands* AAAAH!!! What the hell is wrong with me!?! It's been several days and I still can't get you out of my mind!!! No matter how hard I try, I can't!! Why?! I don't get it! You didn't even want to wait for me to tell you how I felt about– You know what?! I'm making a bigger deal out of it than I should!

(Mean Lapis stands up and walks away.)

I've had it! I'm not gonna stand here and wait for you for thousands of years like I'm some stupid Gem!! *walking away* I was just a little shocked by your sudden decision; but to tell you the truth, I don't give a damn that you left me! It's not like you mean anything to me, pffft, not at all! What's more, I don't even need you!! Even if it takes me longer, I can terraform any planet BY MYSELF!!!

(Mean Lapis pauses on the edge of a cliff, and her defeat by Lapis comes to her mind as she sees the water at the bottom.)

You're so right, though. If I keep terraforming on this or any other planet, that Lapis will kick my butt again.

(Mean Lapis sits down on the edge.)

I take back everything I said. I was just trying to act tough and ignore this feeling of loneliness, but I couldn't! I DO need you, not necessarily for terraforming, but to keep me company! You mean THE UNIVERSE to me! I thought I meant the same to you, but I see I don't. *sighs* Even the years we spent together didn't mean anything to you, otherwise you wouldn't have left me, would you? Or maybe you wouldn't have left me if I had told you how I felt about you? Nah, most likely you would've just laughed and left anyway. This kind of sentimentality is unlike Gems like us, that's why I was content to keep it to myself. I honestly thought we were fine that way, or did I do something wrong?

(She didn't think much about it.)

Nah, it's more than obvious I didn't do anything wrong, it's silly to even think about that possibility! This is all Steven Universe and his Lapis' fault, it was them who put stupid ideas in your head! That's got to be it, I can't find any other explanation! Everything was great until that pair showed up, we were having a wonderful time with our lifestyle. *sighs* It wasn't enough for them to make me purposeless, they also had to take you away from me.

(Mean Lapis hugs her knees tightly.)

I never thought I'd feel this way without you and I don't like it, it feels awful to be alone! I have no idea what I should do now, you and I were always– Oh, my stars! I just realized that I am talking to myself. *sighs* I miss her, I feel so lonely without her. *sighs as tears wells up in her eyes* I don't wanna feel that way anymore.

(Hearing her, several flower bud creatures peek out from a bush, she notices this.)

Huh? *blushes* How long have you been hiding in there!?! Oh, this is embarrassing! You heard everything I said, didn't you!?!

(The flower bud creatures walk out of the bush and approach Mean Lapis.)

Bah, whatever. After all, you're nothing but a lower lifeform. Pretty sure you don't even understand what I'm saying.

(One of the bud creatures rubs against Mean Lapis' leg.)

Um? What does this thing want? Get the heck away from me! *pushes the bud, but it jumps into her arms* What the–?! What's wrong with you?! *throws it to the ground* Oh I see, y'all want to get back at me for what I did to your plane–

(The bud jumps back into Mean Lapis' arms and gets comfortable.)

...Or maybe not, I guess. If they don't want to get back at me? What do they want then?

(The rest of the bud creatures sit down around Mean Lapis.)

No way, you just want to... keep me company? Why? Wait a minute, did you all understand everything I said before? Do you understand how I feel? *the bud cresture opens up*

(The others creatures around open up as well.)

Hehe! You're all actually- *grabs the bud creature with both hands* -gross! *shouts* There's no way you understand how I feel right now, and even if you do!!!

(Mean Lapis begins to squeeze the bud creature hard with both hands.)

I don't need the pity of lower lifeforms like you!!

(Mean Lapis crushes the bud creature, killing it, which makes the others to freak out and close.)

*glares at the others bud crestures* It's also YOUR fault I was left alone!! *creates a water saw* I'll get you for this!!

(Mean Lapis throws the water saw at the bud creatures, slicing them in half and killing them.)

*tearfully* I'll get 'em! Each and every one of those pieces of–

[End of flashback.]

Poor little creatures.

I took all my anger and frustration out on them.

So... you never know what you've got till it's gone, huh?

I guess so.

Nah. Truth is, you knew exactly what you had, but you didn't think you'd lose it.

...

*enraged* I can't believe this!! Did you really– Grrr!! What on earth were you thinking when you decided to take part in this big... BULLSHIT?!

*thinking to herself* Wow, I've never heard her swearing before. She must be really pissed off with me, no wonder.

*shouts* What are you waiting for!? Answer me!!

Well, uh, I don't know. All I wanted was for things to go back to the way they were, I guess that's what I was thinking.

*sighs in disappointment* You want to know what was the first thing I thought of when I graduated from school?

What was it?

You!!

Huh!?!

In spite of everything, I went back to the planet where we last saw each other, but you were gone. I was eager to show you everything I had learned, even though I knew how likely it was that you'd laugh at me again. I didn't care about that, though. I missed you too and wanted to see you again, otherwise I wouldn't have spent months looking for you. Even if you think you don't, you mean so much to me.

*shocked* What?!

I knew that the change wouldn't be easy for you, as it wasn't for me. But in your case it would've been different, because I would've been there for you, to help you in any way I could, to give you all the support you needed, and we would've even been able to spend some quality time together. Now I see how stupid I was to get my hopes up for all this!

(Mean Lapis falls to her knees in sorrow as Lapis' words from just now came to her mind. Lapis: "If you truly love her, let her go, for if she return, she was always yours; If she doesn't, then she never was.")

*thinking to herself* I... blew it! I really screwed up with her! I'm so stupid! *lets out a sob* I... wanna die.

*angered* I was worried sick about you, I genuinely wanted to help you! Why did you have to– Grrr!! This can't be! I'm so mad I could just– Grrr!! *shouts* YOU'RE THE WORST!!!

You're absolutely right! I was in denial. I didn't want to accept it, but now I do. It was all MY fault, no one but ME is to blame for you leaving me! I acted like such a jerk to you! I also didn't wanna accept that you could change, it was obvious that you could. After all, you're a nice Gem; whereas me, I'm a mean Gem who thinks of nothing but herself. I never thought of you, your well-being or your happiness! I completely ignored what you wanted to do and what you like, I only gave priority to my own. *lets out a sob* All in all, I AM THE WORST! Spending so many centuries with me must have been an ordeal for you, right?

...

Come on, don't keep quiet and admit it! I doubt you will, so it goes without saying that you don't have to lie to me to comfort me. You had more than enough reasons to leave me. What's more, anyone in your place would've done the same. I'm sure nobody would wanna be with someone as pitiful as ME! *holding back tears* I understand that, but I-I just... don't want to be ALONE!!

Partner–

It should've dawned on me that you didn't want to be with me anymore from the moment you left me. I should've also accepted and respected your decision, but I didn't! My desperation to not be alone, together with my selfishness, led me to hurt you and you're someone who deserves to be hurt. *bursts into tears* The worst thing is, I rejuvenated you and it didn't quite went the way I wanted it to. I thought with the rejuvenation you'd go back to being the same Lapis I was assigned as a partner a long time ago, but that wasn't the case.

...

Nothing felt the same as before! I didn't remember you that way, you seemed like a completely different Lapis! *tears stream down her cheeks* I noticed that right away, I thought I just had to wait a little longer for you to go back to being the same Lapis as before, however... I was wrong. Now I understand that it's impossible to make things go back to the way they were. *sniffles* That's why all that hatred you feel for me right now is more than understandable. I don't deserve your forgiveness, but all your contempt. At the end of the day, it's absurd to think that someone like me would ever be able to change.

Wait, that's– *Lapis interrupts her*

*sarcastically* Hey, guys! Don't worry about us, we've got all the time in the world to listen to your fights.

I am really sorry, but can you guys solve your problems later? We don't have much time, and there are still many Gems who need our help.

Ok, I'll talk to her later.