With a lot of effort you got yourself out of bed. Every day just seemed like a struggle and a waste of time for you.

Everything was your fault and now you still had thus huge responsibility. Your father was dead because of you. You persuaded the D.A. to come with you to the ministry. He wasn't even there and now he was dead. Because you did that.

You were reminded by it every day. The lightning scar on your head, You even saw him dying over and over again in your sleep.

You walked into the bathroom and looked at yourself in the mirror. Your skin was pale and you had huge bags under yours eyes. You sighed and threw some water in your face to wake up. You got dressed and walked towards the great hall.

You saw Hermione, Ron and Harry at the breakfast table. There was a spot left next to Hermione. Man she was cute. You liked her so much. You sighed and sat down besides her with a forced smile.

'Hi guys.' You said.

'Hi Y/N! Did you sleep well?' Ron asked.

You just nodded and looked at all the food. You weren't hungry.. just like every day. You sighed and filled your plate, just to show that you ate. You took a small bite from your bread. Hermione looked at you. When you looked at her she quickly looked away. You tried to eat a few more things but soon weren't hungry anymore. You got up and left without saying anything.

'Guys.. am I the only one who's worried about her?' Hermione asked as soon as you were gone.

Harry and Ron looked up.

'What did you expect Hermione. Her father died right infront of her eyes.'

'Do you think she blames herself?' She asked.

'Why would she?' Ron asked. 'Maybe you should let it go.'

'She isn't herself guys. The Y/N we knew was always out, laughing and happy. Now she hardly comes out of her room only for class and she never talks to us anymore. She isn't smiling.'

Harry sighed and put his toast down.

'Do you want her to walk around smiling while her father is dead?' Harry asked.

'I'm not saying that. I just think we should talk to her. Maybe she needs it. She's falling within herself. She shuts every body out.'

'Why don't you go talk to her, and we just leave her be because she has a dead father.' Ron said.

Hermione shot him a nasty looked and got up.

'And you call yourself her friend?' She said before she actually walked away.

You walked up the stairs towards the common room. You sighed. Your head was filled with thoughts and you entered the common room. Completely ignoring other members of the D.A. You walked up to your room and gathered your books. You put them together and sighed.

After a while the door opened your turned around and saw Hermione. Your cheeks shot a little red.

'Hi.. are you okay?' Hermione asked.

'Yeah, I'm fine.' You said.

'Don't give me the: I'm fine.' Hermione sighed.

'But I am.' You said.

Hermione walked towards you and placed her hand on your shoulder. You looked at it and then back at her.

'I know you're not fine.' She said. 'You're not yourself Y/N.'

'My father died.. I need some time to become myself.' You said.

'I know.. but I don't think that's why you're not yourself.'

She let you go and you looked her into the eyes.

'Are you blaming yourself?' She asked.

'What?' You asked.

'Are you blaming yourself for his death? Because it isn't your fault. You can't blame yourself for something you couldn't prevent.'

'Couldn't prevent?' You asked. 'I could prevent it. I persuaded you all to go to the ministry because I thought he was in danger. If I wouldn't have done that.. he would have been alive.'

'So you are blaming yourself.' Hermione stated.

'How could I not?! I thought I was doing the right thing but I only got him killed! His own daughter got him killed! I'm messed up. I killed my own father.'

Hermione hugged you. You just stood there before hugging her back. Tears formed in your eyes and you laid your head down on her shoulder.

'You thought he was in trouble. The dark Lord used you. It's not your fault. It's their fault. Voldemort and Bellatrix.'

Hermione felt some tears fall on her shirt. She held you a little tighter. Before letting you go. She cupped your face and wiped some tears away with her thumb.

'Don't do this to yourself..' Hermione said softly. 'You have to stop thinking like this.. it's Bellatrix' fault. She's the one who killed him. It's not your fault, not Harry's, not Lucius'.. it's her fault. Don't blame yourself. You had nothing to do with his death. You tried to protect him.'

'And I failed..' You sighed while slowly calming down.

'That's not true. You couldn't do anything. You couldn't never, ever have protected him.'

'By not going I could have.' You said stubbornly.

Hermione sighed. She moved some hair out of your face.

'Let's do something fun tomorrow. To get your mind of things. You refuse to believe me so that's the only thing that might help.'

You nodded and passed her a small weak smile. Hermione gave you one more hug.

'Promise me you'll sleep.. and eat. Then I'll plan something for tomorrow.'

You nodded and let her go. She smiled at you before walking out of the room. You sighed and felt slightly better.. maybe this thing could work out.