I'm done with my exams, yay! Here's an update, sorry for keeping y'all waiting :)

Hearts are traitorous. And, impractical.

I am furious. She can't stop beating faster than the drum on a fast rap song. I am so damn angry because, after everything I went through, because of Zayd, she is freaking reacting like this. So I come to the conclusion that I hate my heart because she likes it when I am with Zayd.

His leather-clad arms bump into mine as we walk. The traitorous thing inside me escalates.

Zayd, out of all people?

My brain on the other hand completely agrees with me. Brains are logical.

But why do I want to follow the traitorous thing instead of the logical one?

Right. Because no matter how illogical things are, when you think with your heart, you become content. Happy, I guess?

Still, I'm furious. I don't want to follow my heart. But I do. I'm going crazy.

His arms bump into mine. Again. That's it.

"Stop freaking bumping into me. Keep your arms to yourself, will you?"

Zayd looks taken back by my outburst. I focus on the road and kick the stones angrily, trying not to focus on my erratic heartbeat.

"Geez. Calm your tits, woman."

"You calm your freaking male tits, you- you infuriating- idiot! Why are you suddenly concerned about me anyway, huh? Is this some strategy of yours? There is no way you'd feel anything other than hatred for me!"

My nose flare in anger. I become even more annoyed because I can't see his face in the dark! The moonlight falls on the back of his head and I can't freaking look at his eyes. Infuriating son of a biscuit.

"I'm not concerned about you," Zayd fakes a laugh. I laugh back coldly.

"Don't give me that bull poop. You don't think I'm dumb to believe that, do you? Tell me Zayd, why are you concerned about me?"

"Alya, I said I'm not concerne-"

"And why do you hate me anyway, huh? What did I ever do to you? I need answers."

"Shut the fuck up."

"No, I need answers. I don't care what you do. What's the most you can do anyway? Hit me? Come on, do it. Hit me, I dare you."

I snatch Leo from his arms. She deserves a better home than his. He snatches her back. My poor Leo.

I can feel his rage now. He has no reason to be angry!

"Tell me- mphnhpm," his palm closes around my mouth, effectively shutting me up. And, I do the unthinkable, I lick his palm. He doesn't budge. What's that salty taste? Ew.

Okay, I regret doing that.

I claw at his hand, he still doesn't budge.

"I'm not inclined to give you answers, Alya. Now when I remove my hand, you're going to be an obedient little girl and shut the fuck up."

Obedient little girl? Ha! In your dreams.

He removes his hand.

"I still want my answers! And what the freak do you mean obedient- mphhmnm." Not again!

"If you don't shut up babygirl, I'll- something else will cover your ugly mouth and it won't be my palm." His threat makes my stomach churn. But the fact that he thinks I'm ugly makes the feeling go away.

Oh my Allah, please don't tell me he is talking about what I am thinking.

He removes his hand again. And being the daring girl I am, I open my mouth again.

"The freak you mean- mmnmhm," I'm cut off. This time by a pair of something soft. But rough. Warm, but cold in the chilly night. I freeze. My heart leaps up, my brain freezes. My eyes flutter close at the sensation. And then I unwillingly melt into him.

He pushes me backwards until my back hits the stone wall, the boundary of some house we're in front of. His lips suck on mine, a low strange voice comes out of my throat.

Oh God, please forgive me. I love you.

My hands tangle on his hair. It's not that soft but I like the feeling of it. I tug on his hair, he groans on my mouth and pushes me further into the wall. His body is hard, even harder than the stone wall behind me.

After centuries, he pulls away and takes a step back. Both of us breathe heavily. I blink a couple of times until it finally sinks.

"H-how dare y-you- mmnmh," his lips cover mine again. I push him, he doesn't budge. So, I bite on his lower lip. He bites me back. My stomach clenches.

After another century, he pulls away. I blink a couple of times again. Did this really happen? I feel my lips throbbing, it did happen.

"Y-you can't do tha- mmhnhh," I melt into him when he pushes me and attacks my lips again.

Please, please forgive me, my lord!

This time, he pulls back after millennia. My brain is clouded up and I'm in a daze.

"My obedient little babygirl," he breathes out. I can't process his words. "Let's get you home."

I nod absentmindedly and follow him. The next few minutes pass in a blur. And, this time when his arm bumps into mine, I don't say anything.

. . .

My house comes into the view. Once we're right outside, I turn to look at him. I pat Leo on her head, she is sleeping soundly on his arm. I can feel his gaze on me and I look up. Thankfully, this time the moonlight hits his face and I can see his ocean blue eyes.

"That kiss shouldn't have happened," he starts, his voice husky like always.

"It shouldn't have." I agree.

"And, I hate you."

"I hate you, too," I nod before adding, "Take care of Leo."

I turn around, suddenly feeling a bit numb. Smiling to myself for no apparent reason, I walk to my house. Instead of walking to the door, I walk to the window to my room.

Perks of having your room on the ground floor.

I pull the window open. I still feel his eyes on me, my spine tingles. With a deep breath, I lift myself up the window and just when I am about to land inside my room, I fall flat on my face.

No!

I'm thankful for the plush carpet on the floor, my nose isn't fractured. Hopefully. My legs are still dangling outside the window. I pull them inside and pull myself in a sitting position, my cheeks heat up in realization. Zayd.

Please let him be gone.

I stand up, rubbing my nose and look outside my window. The site in front of me makes my cheeks even hotter.

Zayd is cackling like a hyena. That is when I realize that in the fourteen years that I've known him, I've never seen him laugh.

I draw the blinds and lean against the window, shutting my eyes. Trying to fight the heat on my cheeks. Reliving the kiss, knowing I shouldn't be.