I looked at the clock to check time. It was 12 of the night and he didn't come home. My all hopes were dying. I thought today he'll be home soon but no he didn't. He was still in his office. The weather was also not good. The thunders and the heavy rainfall was scaring me more. Everyone went to sleep but I was waiting for him. Taking my mobile,I start dialing his number.

"Hello." On third bell,his voice appeared.

"Aarham where are you?" I asked as my eyes filled up with tears.

"Its heavily raining and you didn't come home. Come soon please." I said and tried to stop myself from crying.

"Don't be scared. I'm coming." I heard his voice and he ended the call.

In the huge mansion,seated alone in the living hall, my heart was beating with fear as the thunders voice was scaring me. I keep waiting for Aarham but he didn't come. Laying silently on the couch,I pulled my legs closer and closed my eyes tightly.

I was driving fast knowing she must be waiting and more of it I knew she was scared of these thunders. Forgetting my all pain, I wanted to reach her who was in fear.

Past two months were like hell. I didn't show up what was going inside me. And I didn't want to because I knew my tears and pain will hurt my loved one and I never wanted that but in doing this,I pulled myself far from my loved ones which was also hurting and it made me so frustrated and disturbed. The grief of losing Dadu was not giving me peace any second but I couldn't share this to anyone. I stopped the car in the porch and walked in with heavy heart filled with grief and sorrow. As I stepped in the hall,my eyes went directly on her who was laying on couch with closed eyes. Sighing,I moved closer to her and sat in front of her to see her. Its had been long since,I haven't seen her. Didn't see her this close. My eyes started to filled up with tears but I didn't let them come out. Averting my eyes from her face, I got up.

"Mehak." I called her.

"Mehak." I called her again and this time, her eyes opened up on my voice.

"You came." She said while getting up.

"You okay?" She asked and I nodded without looking at her.

"I'm good." I said while walking toward stairs.

"Aarham your dinner." I heard her and stopped.

"I'm not..."

"Don't say you don't feel hungry. I know you're feeling hungry." I heard her and turned to see her.

She walked back in kitchen and I stepped up the stairs to my room. Changing into my night dress,I did my ablution and offered prayer. As I completed my prayer, I got up and as I turned,I saw her standing on the doorway.

"Dinner is served." I heard her and without any answer, I took steps out and felt her following me.

"Aarham." She called me while stepping with me.

"Hmm." I just said while looking down.

"Am I become ugly that you don't like to see me anymore?" She asked and I turned to her shocked.

But she without looking at me, moved ahead and went to the finning table. But I was tangled with her words. She and ugly!? I thought that how she thought like that.

What she just said!?

I thought and silently sat down on my chair.

"You didn't answer me." She said as she placed a plate in front of me and I looked up at him.

I looked at him who was looking at me on my question but after a second,he averted his eyes from me and looked down.

"Your silence is telling me that I'm not pretty anymore in your eyes." I said as I filled his plate with his meal.

I took seat next to him and keep looking at him who was looking down at his favorite Chicken Biryani with kebab and Chicken shashlik but didn't touch it. His arms were rested on table around his plate of favorite food but it seemed that he was thinking whether to eat it not. He was looking sad,disturbed,tangled with his thoughts and I wanted to pull him out of all these griefs,sadness and disturbance.

"Eat. Or it will be cold." I said and passed him spoon.

Taking it from me,he start eating rice slowly without yogurt which was clearly telling that how much he was disturbed. He was not having yogurt which was his favorite in every meal. My eyes start getting wet when I saw him like that. I wanted to take all his pain away. Nodding on my thoughts,I blinked my eyes to stop my tears and rested my elbow on table while landing my face on my palm and fixed my eyes on him who slowly start eating.

"I know I'm not that pretty now but you became more handsome in these two months." I said and his hand going to glass of water stopped on my comment.

He didn't say anything and took the glass of water and had it. I keep looking at him without blinking. I knew my eyes were disturbing him more but today I was not going to let him go,to let him escape,to hide. Today, I had to make him come out of his shell.

"Aarham." Holding his hand in mine,I called him.

"Am I really not pretty anymore?" I asked again,only wanted him to speak up but he remained silent and silently start eating dessert.

I didn't say anything further but keep looking at him who start beating in my heart. My eyes were not getting enough of him. I just wanted to keep looking at him and wanted these moments never to end.

"Stop looking at me like this." Finally,he broke the silence.

"Like how? I'm just gazing my husband." I said and he stood up and freed his hand from mine.

"Its...its quite late. We should sleep now." Saying,he marched out of the dinning hall and I keep seated there thinking.

"Not today Aarham." I said because tonight I was not going to let him behave like stranger and work all the night carelessly.

Cleaning the table,I washed my hands and walked toward my room. Taking a deep breath,I turn the knob and entered the room. Darkness welcomed me. The room was dipped in the darkness. Turning on the night bulb,I looked at the bed to find him but he was not there. I knew he wouldn't be asleep. My eyes went straight toward the balcony whose door was opened and I knew he was there. Closing the door behind me,I walked toward him who was enjoying the rain without caring that how harsh and heavy rainfall it was.

I stood next to him and looked at the cloudy sky. Raindrops were coming down with strong wind. I shivered with the cold air stock. Turning my head toward him,I looked at him who was just looking straight without caring that his shirt was completely drenched in rain.

"You missed him right?" I asked as I looked ahead like him.

He didn't say anything. But his silence was now killing me. I wanted him to speak up,open his heart.

"You loved him a lot. No,you love him a lot that you don't want to share the grief of losing him with anyone." I said as my own tears brimmed up in my eyes.

"You think if you will cry or share your pain with us,it will hurt us but truly you're hurting us more with your silence and your strange behavior." I said and turned to him and held his arm to turn him toward me.

"Cry,shout,yell do like normal people do. Why are you hiding all this? Your tears, your pain why are you hiding all this from me? Am I not your companion?" I asked looking at his drenched face whose eyes shivered with every rain drop which was falling on us, drenching us completely.

"I have some work to do. You sleep." He said in the answer of all the questions,I asked and walked in.

I keep standing shocked with tears. But then turned as I knew if I let him go today then I won't be able to bring him back. I walked in and saw him standing in front of the wardrobe. I walked to him and keep looking at him who was searching something in the wardrobe. I could see his restlessness, his fight with himself. He was hurting himself by hiding all his tears. I could see, he wanted to cry but was not letting his tears to come out.

"You know I think I'm not your that companion you wished to have." I said and his hands stopped while his head turned to me.

"I'm telling the truth. You think me of nothing. You think I'm not capable to understand your pain,to heal your pain and grief. Its true right.!?" I said looking in his eyes with tears.

"Mehak listen.." He tried to say but I shook my head as two tears left my eyes and I moved closer to the wardrobe.

"I know you don't want to share your pain with me. That's okay. I'm sorry I couldn't be your that companion you wishes for." I said and wiped my tears but tears were not stopping as they were coming out rapidly.

"Here." I took a shirt out which he was searching and looked at him but he didn't held it.

"I decide something." I said while placing the shirt on his hand and closed the wardrobe.

"I'll leave tomorrow morning." I said and turned to him whose eyes widened.

"What?" He asked and I nodded.

"I'll leave. From your life and from your house. Then you can live with your pain and sorrows happily. I can't live with you like stranger. I know I'm not pretty anymore and it will be hard for you to live with me now as I'm not worth of sharing my husband's pain and tears so its better for me to leave from your life." I said and looked at him who was shocked.

"You go and work. I'll just pack my stuff." I said and turned to take my suitcase.

"Mehak what are you doing?" He asked as I opened my suitcase.

"Aarham please. You go and do your work. Let me pack my luggage." I said and start placing my clothes in the suitcase slowly.

But with the corner of eye,I was looking at him who was breathing heavily. He was looking here and there trying to understand and I knew it was just coming. I was going to have my Aarham back.

"You..you can't go." Suddenly,snatching my clothes from my hands,he threw them away and I looked at him shocked.

"I will go." I said and turned but he held my hand and I turned me to him.

"I said you can't go. No one can go." He said holding my hand firmly.

"Aarham I have to go." I said and saw him shaking his head here and there,like he was not here.

I looked at him who was mumbling something under his lips. Like he was not in his senses.

"My...My Dadu went away without telling me and now you're going." He said looking up at me and there his eyes filled up with tears.

"You misses him right!?" I asked and he nodded.

"I missed him a lot. Why did he go? My Dadu." Falling down on ground,he start crying his heart out while I smiled with tears rolling down in my cheeks.

"My Dadu left me alone. Dadu." He cried hiding his face in his hands.

"Aarham." Kneeling down in front of him,I held his hands.

But he keep crying his heart out. And with every tear,he was calling his Dadu. I cried with him and let him cry. Let him cry all the tears he was hiding since all the time.

"My Dadu." He keep crying and I keep looking at him.

Going closer to him after 10 minutes,I wiped his tears and cupped his face in mine.

"Your Dadu loves you so much so don't hurt him by hurting yourself." I said and tried to hold my hiccups.

"I'll die Mehak. Its paining here." He cried while pointing toward his heart.

I looked at him who always smiled and now was crying badly. He was showing me his pain,his tears and sharing his grief with me. It made me happy but also sad that there was nothing I could do to lighten his grief.

"Allah My Dadu." He cried while closing his eyes.

Moving closer to him, I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him into a hug.

"Cry more Aarham. Let go out all your pain." I said while shedding tears with him.

He held me tightly in his arms and cried more loudly with his tears rushing down and I could feel them falling on the back of my neck.

"Cry. Don't keep anything inside your heart." I said while caressing his back and he keep crying in my arms.

I felt him getting relax and slowly, I moved back and found him sobbing with his eyes lower.

"My head...its paining." He said with close eyes and held his head in his hands.

"Come." I said printing toward my lap and slowly made him lay down on the carpeted floor and made his head rest in my lap.

"Just don't think about anything now." Placing my hand on his eyes,I made them close.

"Sleep Aarham." Whispering,I start running my fingers in his hair slowly but still I could feel and see his tears running out from the corners of his eyes.

"Sleep Meri Jaan(My life). I'm here." I whispered and leaned on his forehead to place a kiss.

Moving back,I wiped his tears and keep massaging his scalp with my fingers lightly to give him relieve and soon he drifted down in the valley of sleep while I just keep looking at his face. Half an hour passed and he was in sleep far from all pain and tears and I was praying for his happiness and smiles.

"Dadu." He suddenly yelled and got up making me startled.

"Aarham." I looked at him who got up and looked at me strangely.

"My Dadu. Where is he?" He asked looking around.

"Aarham calm down. Listen to me." I tried to move closer to him but he moved back on his knees.

His eyes fall on the suitcase placed there on the ground and then he looked at me.

"You're also going. Leaving me all alone." He mumbled and once again his tears rushed out of his eyes.

"My Dadu." He shouted louder and cried.

"Aarham listen to me." I moved closer to him to console him.

"You're going too. You're going too. How will I live. I'll die. I'll die Mehak." He shouted and held his head in his hands and cried more and I moved closer to him.

"Listen to me." Holding his hands,I tried to make him look at me.

"My Dadu died because of me. He...he read the news right. The news of my attack." He said looking around.

I could see how disturb he was. How his mind was playing with him. How his love was hurting him.

"I killed my Dadu. I'm responsible of his death. I....I should die. Why to live when my Dadu is gone and now you're going. I'll die." He said and cried with shouts.

"Shhh..just listen to me Aarham. I'm not going anywhere." I said and cupped his face but he was just mumbling those words again and again.

"My Dadu...My Mehak...they leave me...I'll...Die..Dadu...my Dadu..." He was not stopping and was not even looking at me.

"Just look at me. I'm here in front of you Aarham. I won't leave you." I said giving him believe but he didn't stop mumbling like he was going mad.

"My Dadu is gone. My... My Dadu is gone. Now my Mehak...my Mehak is going...why..to live...my Dadu..." He was mumbling and tried to fee himself from my hands.

"Aarham please come to your senses." I cried looking at his condition.

"Mehak my Dadu." He cried more.

"My Dadu.. I killed him. I'm responsible.. I'm..the one...I should...di..." He was about to say what it was now important to stop him.

Without any thought,I moved closer and presses my lips on his harder while hugging him tightly. My eyes closed down and he stopped on his place. I keep pressing my lips on his giving him a kiss of believe, trust, love,happiness, smiles. His ragged breath started to calm down and i was waiting for him to hold me. I didn't move until I found him relaxed. My lips on his were pressed until he held me in his arms. As he held me tightly in his arms,I moved back freeing his lips from mine and looked at him who opened his eyes and looked st him. My heart beat increased on the thought that what I did. I kissed him. My eyes stuck to him who was as silent as I was on my place. Moving closer,I pulled him in a tight hug and keep caressing his back to calm him.

"Just relax now." I whispered in his ear as I felt his tears falling on my neck.

"Da..du." He said with hiccups and my eyes widened when I felt his grip loosen around me and his head skipped on one side.

"Aarham." I yelled as he fell down unconscious in my arms.