Sam curls into my side with a content smile and I smile in return. The last time we had been sat like this had been under considerably unfavourable circumstances. Our argument feels like it happened forever ago, but in reality it's only been four days. Sam forgives and forgets, it's in his nature and sometimes he forgives too easily. He's already forgiven me.

I haven't yet begun to even consider forgiving myself. Every second I spend with him is a cruel reminder that I should be better, that I should be more than what I am. I feel tense and anxious, nervous to even breathe for fear of screwing this up again.

So far today, we have watched four of Sam's favourite films and I even cooked lasagne, another favourite of Sam's. It was supposed to be a relaxed, stay-at-home date but I can't relax enough to enjoy it. My eyes stare unseeing at the TV, my hand moving robotically through Sam's hair.

He sighs suddenly and pauses the film. I look down at him quizzically, my eyes almost popping out of my head when he shifts onto my lap, straddling my legs.

"What are you doing?" I ask slowly, drawing my hands closer to my chest. He watches the movement with narrowed eyes and seems to explode.

"Why are you doing that?" He demands, and I glance at my hands nervously.

"Doing what?"

"That. Withdrawing from the situation." He accuses. I watch him quietly, annoyed at myself for being so scared. I'm so aware of how much he means to me, so aware of how much I seem to mess up.

"You're acting really weird. You promised that you'd tell me stuff and instead you're silent, even more than you were before." He says defeatedly.

"I'm scared." I say quietly, avoiding his eyes.

"What?" Sam asks, his voice incredulous. I exhale heavily, my eyes eventually drifting upwards to meet his.

"I don't know how to be the person you deserve. I don't know how to be the guy that you want me to be and I'm terrified of getting it wrong again. I can't bear the idea of hurting you again." I mutter, my eyebrows pulled together tightly, shaking my head at the very notion of hurting Sam.

"I'm ungrateful and selfish," Sam states and I look up sharply, opening my mouth to disagree when he stops me.

"I'm hot-headed and emotional. I make rash decisions and can't cook to save my life. I'm not very smart or talented, I'm not thoughtful or selfless, I'm not much of anything compared to you. I think about how undeserving I am of you nearly every day." He continues, frowning as he plays with my fingers.

"But I love you. Every single aspect, whether you think it's a flaw or not, I still love it. Loving you; it's the only thing I know how to do, the only thing I know I do better than everyone else in the world." He mumbles, almost inaudibly and I smile at how shy he appears.

"I got too angry at you, I expect too much from you and I'm sorry, but I don't ever want you to be afraid of being yourself around me. You are enough, everything that you are is more than enough." He says, making eye contact now and I smile more genuinely.

"Okay." I utter, and he smiles.

"Promise?" He asks. I nod.

"Promise."

Sam smiles a breath-taking smile and I can't help but return it.

"You're so cheesy." I mumble as I caress his cheek. He rolls his eyes, snorting theatrically but leans into my touch anyway.

"Only when you're being a drama queen." He mutters, extricating himself from my lap and I laugh.

"Hypocrite." I cough, a wicked smile playing at my lips as I watch him turn to glare at me.

"Takes one to know one." He retorts, and I gasp, raising a hand to my chest.

"Just for that, you're sleeping alone tonight." I state, folding my arms across my chest. Sam looks horror-stricken.

"What?! No! I can't go back to my room, it smells like feet!" He cries and I scoff.

"It always smells like that, you just never noticed before." I say as he mutters under his breath. I know that he'll end up sneaking into my bed this evening and I know that I won't feel anything other than ecstatic about it. My room seems to have become our room, not that I mind.

I watch Sam contentedly as he roams the flat, the anxiety I had felt previously now washed away. He tries to carry his washing to the utility room whilst simultaneously texting, which doesn't end well, however it is entertaining.

"Shit, I forgot about Cara's wedding." Sam mutters, absently rubbing his elbow. His washing is littered around his feet and he glances at it distastefully.

I get up and wander over, plucking up shirts and socks as Sam smiles gratefully.

"Cara's wedding?" I question, and he nods with a sigh.

"Yeah, my mum told me about it a couple of months ago and I totally forgot. It's this weekend." He mumbles, stuffing another stray sock into my arms. I nod, faintly recalling him mentioning it.

I walk his washing into the utility room and drop it ungracefully into the basket. I walk back into the living room and glance at Sam who is watching me with a blush adorning his cheeks.

"What?" I ask hesitantly.

"Will you come with me?" He asks and I nod immediately.

"Sure, no problem." I say easily but he shakes his head.

"I mean, will you come with me as my boyfriend." He clarifies, blushing profusely and I pause. It hadn't really occurred to me that we would be around people who weren't aware of our relationship and now I felt like an idiot. This is probably a really big deal for him.

"Of course. I would never risk missing the sight of my boyfriend in a suit." I murmur, kissing him gently. He rolls his eyes at my comment but smiles widely nevertheless.

"Your family is going to freak out." I say jubilantly and Sam groans, making me laugh even harder.

_

"Calm down, half of your family already knows me and I'm sure that I'll charm the pants off the other half." I say confidently, adjusting Sam's purple tie. It compliments his skin tone marvellously.

Sam scoffs, his mouth twitching upwards in amusement.

"You? Charming?" He questions as I straighten up and I eye him with a raised brow.

"It worked on you, didn't it?" I mumble, smirking at his expression.

"And Alex, and Miles..." I continue, laughing when Sam interrupts me with a smack to my arm.

"Okay, I get the point." He scowls. I brush my hand across his cheek and smile, leaning in to kiss his pouted lips. I pull away, evidently far too soon for his liking and laugh at his expression. I hold out my hand and he takes it reluctantly, following me into the church. We're some of the last people to take our seats but that suits me just fine. I fiddle with my dark green tie absently, smiling when I remember how Sam had complimented it. He likes it when I wear this colour and I had picked it specially, not that I'd ever admit that.

Everyone quietens and rises to stand as the bride enters. I faintly recognise her as one of Sam's many, many cousins. She looks beautiful, her bronze skin contrasting with the bright white of her dress. She looks radiant and I glance towards the groom who is smiling just as brightly. He looks as though he might die if he looks away from her.

Cara reaches the altar and we're all seated for the ceremony, which fortunately doesn't drag for too long. They exchange rings and vows before being whisked away for pictures. People flood out of the church, the constant buzz of excitable chatter rising. Sam has a very large family.

He grabs my hand subtly and leads us into the reception hall. Fairy lights have been strung across the ceiling, all arching towards the centre and I can't help but admire them. Bouquets of wild flowers litter the room and rest on the centre of every table.

We don't draw a lot of attention as we make our way to our seats and I can tell that Sam is glad. He doesn't want to be bombarded by family.

"Sam! Eli! It's been years, oh boys look how you've grown up!" A voice croons and I vaguely recognise the weathered face.

"Maria, you don't look a day older than the last time I saw you." I remark, leaning in to kiss her on the cheek.

"Oh stop it, Eli. Sam, my dear, how are you?" She asks, moving on to kiss Sam. He grins at her, glad to see one of his more favoured relatives.

"I'm great Aunt Maria, how's Uncle Javier?" He asks and she shakes her head fondly.

"Still mad as a hatter, he's chatting with your cousins about fishing or racing cars or whatnot." She says dismissively, waving in his general direction. Sam launches into conversation as the rest of his family take their seats.

I excuse myself to go to the bathroom, taking my time to make sure that Sam gets some quality time with his family. I dry my hands and wander back, recognising Emma's little head through the swamp of people. I swoop down and scoop her up, smiling as she squeals.

"Eli!" She giggles, finally recognising her attacker and I grin.

"Get a little lost?" I ask, helping her as she climbs onto my back like a little monkey.

"Yeah, Victoria accidentally let go of my hand." She says, sniffing a little and I nod.

"Well, how about this, this evening I'll dance with you first and we'll make Victoria jealous?" I suggest and Emma giggles.

"Okay." She says quietly. As I near our table I recognise Camila and Victoria and kneel down to let Emma off. She slides down and grabs my hand.

"I like your dress, you look very beautiful." I compliment. She goes bright red, just like her brother and she looks just as adorable. We walk over together, Camila breathing a sigh of relief when she notices us.

"Thank you, Eli." She chirps but I wave her off, settling back into my seat. Dinner is soon served, and we eat amiably. Sam falls into the flow of conversation with his family easily, but I zone out, a little too occupied with the food.

Sam's hand flutters onto my knee and I glance at him, still involved with conversation but with a small, loving smile on his face. I interlock our fingers, leaning back in my chair as I watch him. He really does look remarkable in a suit.

"Eli?" A voice asks, pulling me from my abstraction. I turn towards one of Sam's cousins, Allison I believe.

"Do you have anyone special back at home? Or at university?" She asks politely, and I smile in response.

"Yes, someone very special." I state, watching out of my peripheral vision as Sam ducks his head, his cheeks burning pink.

"Why didn't you bring them along?" She asks and I laugh. I glance at Sam and he nods shyly, not quite brave enough to take the first leap.

"Actually, he brought me." I correct, lifting our interlocked fingers and kissing the back of his hand. Sam huffs, trying to fight the smile on his face and failing. Allison looks vaguely shocked whilst Maria looks thrilled. Her husband seems utterly unbothered, the twins look on in slight dismay and Camila appears happy enough to explode.

Sam clears his throat awkwardly as I watch couples get up to dance. I decide that this is precisely the escape we need.

"I'm sorry, but I promised Emma a dance earlier and a gentleman always keeps his promises. Sam, perhaps Victoria is in need of a partner?" I hint and he nods enthusiastically.

I get up and hold out my hand for Emma who's smiling widely.

"You can't use me to run away from them." She giggles and I smile at how clever she is.

"Yes I can." I say, poking my tongue out. I help her onto my toes, clasping her tiny hand in mine and very slowly start to dance. I get the hang of it quickly and constantly pull funny faces at her.

"The weight of your tiny feet! It's crushing me!" I whine melodramatically, and she snorts with laughter as I pretend to dip her.

"No it's not!" She squeals as I spin her around.

"Yeah, you're right, it's not. Is it my turn to stand on your feet now?" I tease, laughing as I watch her face fall in terror.

"You'll squish me!" She retorts and I gasp in mock offence.

I spin her around until she's dizzy and gasping from laughing too much. Sam and I trade partners and I dutifully do the same routine. Victoria and I come up with our own dance moves, agreeing that the traditional ones just aren't fun. People are staring, but most are smiling and I try not to pay too much attention to them.

A slower song starts to play and I glance up to see Sam tapping his sister on the shoulder.

"Hey Vic, can I steal your partner for a dance?" He asks, staring at me and she reluctantly nods and skips over to join her sister. Sam steps closer to me, all of a sudden looking bashful. I take his hand, remembering every moment that we had done this before.

Sam's hand in mine, pulling me off a swing, leading me down secret pathways that lead to magical places, swinging in time with our steps as we walked home, a soft squeeze of comfort in the pouring rain. Sam had held my hand through all of it, even my mum's funeral. He'd leant over, reached out and held me when I needed it most.

I wind my hands around his waist and pull him closer to me, swaying in time with the music. Sam leans into my shoulder, tilting his face into my neck. I can feel his lips smile against my neck and I hold him against me just a little tighter. He sighs, pressing a gentle kiss against my sensitive skin.

"Your family look a little awe-struck." I murmur against his hair, watching their expressions in amusement. Sam groans against me, wiggling his face further into the crook of my neck.

"They're still staring." I comment. Sam huffs, withdrawing from his hiding place and gracing me with the pleasure of looking at his face.

"I don't care." He mumbles, although his cheeks are pink and his eyebrows bunched together.

I can't seem to tear my eyes away from him, transfixed by how angelic he looks under the soft glow of the lights above us. Sam looks around uncomfortably, but I'm fixated on the man in front of me.

"I'd like our wedding to be like this." I say offhandedly. Sam inhales sharply as his gaze snaps back to me like lightening, his eyes wide and his cheeks crawling with an insatiable blush. He looks as though I've just electrocuted him. He opens his mouth but chokes on his words. He inhales deeply, his eyes darting between my own.

"Less people perhaps." I muse, thoroughly enjoying watching him freak out.

"What?!" He whispers sharply, looking at me as though I've lost my mind.

"Our wedding. I'd like it to be like this, unless you have other ideas?" I say, gesturing vaguely to our surroundings.

"No, no, this is good." He manages, still staring at me wide-eyed. I watch him attempting to compose himself and bite my lip to prevent smiling too much. He's perfect. He clears his throat, glancing around at the people who are all swaying to a new song. I hadn't even realised.

"Do you think about that a lot?" He asks, his voice burning in unspoken curiosity.

"Hm?"

"Marrying me." He clarifies, a brand-new shade of red spreading like wild fire across his cheeks.

"Frequently." I utter, flashing him a cheeky grin.

Sam bites his lip and glances towards his feet as though they're suddenly capable of speaking. I sigh, wondering silently if I went too far. I shouldn't have said that, I know, but I couldn't help it. I'm about to take it all back, convince him that I didn't mean it when he beats me to it.

"Okay." He murmurs, quiet as a whisper. He meets my eyes and smiles before settling back against my neck, both of us content to stay just were we are for a little while longer.