"But I don't see why you have to go?" Sam whines, his head perched on my shoulder as I book my train ticket home.

"I haven't seen my dad since Christmas and besides, if I see him now, I can stay here for the Easter break." I explain, Sam's face lighting up at the idea.

"Okay, fine. You'll be back on Sunday, right?" He confirms and I nod.

"I'll be gone for less than forty-eight hours, you won't even notice I'm away." I insist but Sam scoffs at my statement.

"If you believe that then you're an idiot." He mutters, walking out of my room. I smile at his attitude and print out my ticket. I pack some clothes and a book into my rucksack so that I'll be able to leave this evening.

I send a text to my dad, telling him to expect me at 8pm and he robotically replies, as per usual. If I'm being honest, there's a little more design to my visit home than just seeing my father. I actually plan to visit Sam's family too, but more importantly, I want to ask Camila's permission to date Sam. I want to do this the old school way and even though I'm 98% sure that Sam's mum will say yes, I still want to ask.

Then I'll actually have to get around to asking Sam. One step at a time; baby steps.

I lug my bag downstairs and rest it beside the front door, wandering into the front room to find Sam sulking on the sofa. I chuckle at his little pout and sit down beside him, stretching out my legs and lifting an arm; an invitation for Sam to snuggle up.

He glances at me out of the corner of his eye and his resolve breaks, his discontentment crumbling as he leans against me.

"Are you going to be ok on your own for a few days? I don't want to come home to find you on the brink of starvation." I joke and Sam huffs.

"Yes, although it'll be all your fault if something terrible happens." He utters and I groan.

"Ugh, don't say that. Everything was so much easier when I could feel your pain." I grumble, more to myself than to Sam but I seem to have sparked his interest.

"What was it like?" He asks, resting his head on my lap so that he look up at me. I sigh, dragging my fingers through his loose curls.

"It felt different to my pain, more intense. I never had to worry so much because I knew that I'd be able to feel it and react accordingly." I explain and he nods slowly.

"And you miss it?" He asks, his nose crinkling in confusion.

"I didn't like feeling your pain, but I like feeling close to you. It's like a link between us, it's hard to explain. It feels alive, like you're right next to me even when you aren't." I mumble absently, trying to explain the feeling.

"You're talking in the present tense." He points out and I pause for a moment. Even though I don't feel his pain anymore, I feel as though the link between us is stronger than ever.

"I can still feel it, the closeness." I mumble with an accompanying shrug and Sam seems to drop it.

"Was it always as bad as..." He trails off but I know what he means.

"No, it got worse as we got older. Over the last year or so, your pain was more painful than mine." I say, frowning as I think about it.

"Is that why we're so close? Because you felt like you had to protect me?" He asks, his brow pinched together anxiously.

"No, not at all," I respond immediately, stroking his hair away from his forehead softly, "Admittedly it was easier to be with you than away from you. If I could prevent you from hurting yourself, I was saving both of us from pain. We were friends before the pain and perhaps it's a factor as to why we're so close, but there are plenty of other reasons." I explain and he raises an eyebrow.

"Like what?"

"Like you always make me laugh, I feel comfortable around you, I can tell you anything, you listen to me and vice versa, there are a hundred different reasons." I mumble, saying whatever pops into my mind.

"Those are good reasons, I suppose." Sam says thoughtfully, smiling to himself. I glance at my watch and frown, realising that it's time to go or I risk missing my train completely.

"Now that I've distracted you, I've got to go." I say, lifting his head and sliding out from underneath him.

"I don't want you to." Sam grumbles, turning over so that his head is face down on the sofa.

"I'm aware. I'll say hi to your mum for you." I assure and Sam peers up to look at me.

"No, don't! She'll never let you leave!" He exclaims and I chuckle at his expression.

"Then I suppose if I don't come back, you'll know why." I reason. He sighs, getting up sluggishly. His arms snake around my waist, his head nestled in my neck and I pull him closer.

"I'll be back on Saturday evening, okay?" I say, stroking his head with my good hand. He nods against my neck, pressing a tiny kiss there before pulling away. I sling my rucksack on my back and pull Sam closer, kissing his forehead gently.

"Take care of yourself." I insist and he nods, smiling softly.

I open the door and close it behind me, feeling heavy at the thought of leaving Sam behind. It's necessary though and distance has never been an issue before, although our relationship has never been quite so intense before either. I send up a little prayer that Sam can manage to survive a day without me and make my way to the station.

I hand over my ticket and board the train, feeling heavier hearted the further I travel from my best friend.

_

My dad is still at work by the time I've reached my hometown, so I walk through the barren streets towards the familiar green door that I used to call home. I feel glum standing before it, knowing that I should feel far more comfort at being home than I actually do.

I open the door using my key and shut it behind me, walking upstairs to dump my bag in my room. As I step in, I immediately know that nothing has been touched. I don't need to have a photographic memory to know that not one thing is out of place.

The air is stale, my belongings gathering dust. I open a window in the vain hope that it might let some life into the room. The walls are white and the furniture plain, although my personal belongings still litter shelves, photographs still pinned to the board on the wall.

I wander downstairs and look in the fridge, knowing that my dad won't have anything prepared for dinner. I might as well make it myself. I decide on stir fry and go about washing and cutting vegetables absently. I had always thought that this house was too big for my dad and I and now that I'm alone in it, I know I'm right. It's so cold and silent, the walls bare and free of all our family photos.

I cook some questionable noodles, found at the back of a cupboard and very dusty, stirring them as I lean against the counter. The front door opens but I don't look up yet, knowing I can't see him from the kitchen.

"ELI!"

The noise startles me and I turn to see Sam's sisters rushing towards me frantically. They fling their arms around my torso and I smile, hugging them back as best I can with one- slightly broken arm.

"Hey! I missed you bugs, although you're not really bugs anymore, are you?" I say and they smile toothily.

"Girls, give him some room!" Camila scolds lightly, entering the room with my dad trailing behind her. He smiles at me genuinely and I return it, glad to see him looking well.

Camila nudges her daughters out of the way, only to replace them with herself as she engulfs me in a hug which is slightly too tight. I decide not to mention it.

"Eli, it's so good to see you. When your father mentioned you were home for the weekend, well we just had to pop over! Look at you, I heard about this from my clumsy boy, are you okay now? Are you eating well, you look awfully thin!" She clucks, her eyes scanning every part of me visible to her with avid concern, lingering particularly on my cast-bound wrist.

"I'm fine, honestly. You needn't have given up your evening, I would have swung by before I left." I insist but she shakes her head, grinning at me. She's a tiny woman but I suppose in her eyes both Sam and I will always be small boys. We don't dare argue otherwise.

"Nonsense! What have we got here, smells delicious, Eli. You know, you've definitely got your mother's knack for cooking." She says softly, taking over from me as the girls natter to my father about something or other.

"Thank you. Will you stay for dinner?" I ask, smiling to myself at the compliment and she nods enthusiastically.

"Of course! Thank you my darling." She says and I go about getting plates and cutlery out of the cupboards. I busy myself but can't help but notice that Camila is staring at me.

"You look more like your mother every day." She says quietly. I look down, fiddling with my fingers as I place the forks upon the table.

"I'm not sure if that's a good thing." I mumble, glancing at my dad and Sam's mum sighs.

"He misses her very much." She explains and I nod.

"As do I." I exhale, smiling as best I can.

"She's a part of you, she lives on through you and she would be so proud, Eli." Camila insists, her hand laying on my shoulder and I nod.

"So, how is my boy? I should very much like to know why he isn't here with you." Camila asks, moving from our previous topic and I laugh at her tone.

"He has exams this week, but next time I shan't come without him." I promise.

"It's rare to see you two apart, although I'm glad you came, Eli. Your dad has missed you, this house is far too lonely when you're not here." She insists, hauling the wok over to the table so we can dish up.

"Tell me about it." I mumble, gathering the water jug and glasses.

We all sit around the table, the twins avidly recounting a story from school and I nod along, listening politely. Sam's mum dishes up, sending me a cheeky wink as the girls continue to talk my ear off.

"This looks delicious, Eli. Thank you." My dad utters and I shrug, smiling at the comment.

We eat and talk animatedly, never having a dull or silent moment with the Rivera family here and I'm glad, as I wasn't sure how successful dinner with my father would have been. Sam's mum eventually hauls the girls home at 9:30, insisting that it's far too late already. I promise to visit tomorrow and before I know it, it's just my dad and I.

"So, Elias, how're things going?" He asks as I work at the dishes. He grabs a cloth, drying the dishes beside me.

"Things are good, the course is interesting and the work can be challenging but I enjoy the stimulation." I state, my brain automatically altering the words I use now that I'm around my dad. He nods beside me, seemingly content with my answer.

"Sam called and told me what happened at the hospital. I visited but you were out for the count and I had a meeting in town." He explains and I wave him off with my cast encased hand.

"It's fine, I just fell badly." I assure.

"And how're things with Sam?" He asks, his eyes watching me intently. I get the strangest feeling that he knows, but the idea is ridiculous.

"Things are great, did Camila tell you that he...?" I trail off, not wanting to say anything if he doesn't know. He grins at me knowingly and nods.

"We've all known since he was a child, but I'm glad that he's accepted himself." He states, looking more alive than I've seen him in years.

"You've known all along?" I ask incredulously and he nods.

"Your mother was sure that the two of you would be married one day." He says, watching me attentively for my reaction to his offhanded statement. I laugh loudly at the thought of my mum secretly rooting for Sam and I when everyone else was clueless. It's so typical.

"Well, she always had a knack for reading people." I say eventually, glancing at my dad's expression.

"She was always right." My dad adds and I nod slowly.

"It's nice to know that some things never change." I state, smiling as my dad's eyes widen.

"Really?" He asks, freezing for a moment as I grin, nodding in confirmation.

"I'm not just here to visit you," I confess, watching as a grin spreads across my dad's face, looking happier than I remember seeing him in years, "I also came to ask Camila for her permission to date Sam." I finish, looking at my hands but unable to resist looking at my dad's reaction.

We've not spoken so intimately in years and I like it, I really miss it. I've never been afraid to tell my parents anything, although things definitely changed when my mum died, but I'm glad this this aspect stayed the same.

"I'm so proud of you, Elias. Your mum would be too; all she ever wanted was for you to grow up to be a good man, for you to be happy." He says quietly. I smile at that, knowing that he's right.

"I know, dad." I say, drying my hands as we finish our task. He pauses in front of me, contemplating his next words carefully.

"I know that I've not been a good father to you since your mother died, and I know that I could have tried harder..." He begins but I hold up a hand.

"Dad, you don't have to explain. You did what you had to, to cope. You've always been good to me and I know that I can always rely on you." I assure and he nods. I fidget with my fingers, finding this situation unbearably uncomfortable but forcing myself to stay put. My dad and I need this conversation to happen, he needs closure.

"Thank you. Now, get to bed. You look exhausted, we can speak more tomorrow morning. I've taken the day off work." He states and I sigh in relief, hugging him quickly before retreating upstairs.

"G'night dad!" I call, smiling as he calls it back.

I flop down on my bed unable to keep the smile off my face. Things are all falling into place and I can't believe my luck. It's almost as if my mum is watching over me, nudging me in the right direction and cheering me on. In this very moment, I can feel her presence, and I don't feel so alone.

Everything feels right.