Another one lol

Excuse any errors. ❤️

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Trying his best to control his current panic attack. Milo sat with his back up against the wall of his bathroom, it had been a while since he had actually had one. Taking deep breaths in and out his pounding the palms of his hands against his temple.

It's happening and you can't stop it Milo. The medicine isn't helping anymore.

"Relax Lo..." He coached himself while taking slow deep breaths but it wasn't working. Cutting on the shower he continued hyperventilating as he sat down fully clothed. Covering his ears to ignore the voices that plagued his thoughts now, he'd normally hear negative thoughts every now and then but that's changed.

He sat under the hot water and began to cry until hearing the shower curtain opening.

"Milo!?.. w-what are you doing baby?" Anya whispered reaching over to cut off the shower. She noticed his nose and eyes were red from crying.

He lifted his head up slowly as the water ran down his face causing him to blink a few times.

"Come on, get up." She said as he stood up from the tub and placed his feel onto the soft bath rug.

"I'm sorry." He whispered as she shook her head trying to be understanding.

"It's ok. Take those wet clothes off, I'll get you some dry ones."

Walking out of the bathroom she grabbed a t-shirt and sweats for him, going back inside she quietly helped him and hug the clothes up to dry. Getting back into bed he help her close to him.

"It's getting bad again... I think I'm about ready to break down."

Not saying anything she held him close, she wasn't she what she was going to do but leaving him wasn't an option.

To Milo it felt like a never ending cycle, he was up then falling down.

Staring at the ceiling fan he wondered how it felt it the fan fell and crushed him, to him leaving this earth would feel like freedom but leaving his daughter without a father and soon to be wife without a husband also killed him inside.

Looking over at the clock it read 2am and he felt like he wasn't going to get any sleep. Quietly moving out of Anya's grasp he went back into the bathroom, looking at himself in the mirror he couldn't recognize himself, it was as if he was watching himself from the back of his own mind.

I know what would make you feel better.

"What?" He mumbled as he was now having an episode of derealization as he stared at himself in the mirror.

You know what.. It always brought you a temporary joy.

He looked down at the scars on his left arm. He knew what the voice was talking about. He wanted to feel that joy again.

It's been a while huh?

He chuckled to himself he grabbed the blade, licking his dry lips he hissed at the first initial breaking of the skin, tucking his bottom lip between his teeth he tried to muffle his own groans. Feeling a euphoric feeling he dropped the blade leaned against the door, beginning to laugh he knew things were going down hill. Was he going to stop it this time? No.

——-

Waking up around 1:30pm Milo sat up and noticed Anya and M'lani were gone. He decided that he wasn't going to leave the bed, he had no appetite, no motivation, and the few text messages he did receive we're left on seen.

Listening to the cars pass by outside his window and a dog barking he turned over in bed pulling the covers over himself.

Doesn't this feel good? You're alone now... Sinking deeper into the rabbit hole. Did you miss this Lo?

He nodded as his the voice in his head could see him, it felt strange to him that Jaxon's reassuring voice and Zane's bubbly feeling was gone. It was only him and this negative voice but it wasn't Seven.

It was the voice of his deepening depression, causing him to sulk further down into the suffocation of a black hole of nothingness.

"You're gonna make me stay in bed all day?" He mumbled.

Yes, I am. You deserve to sulk. You're nothing... You're a horrible father and can't even be a good fiancé. WORTHLESS!

"I tried... nothing I ever do is good enough." He said as his voice cracked.

I know how we can fix that.. For good.

"How?"

Standing up from the bed Milo went to the bathroom. Opening the medicine cabinet he grabbed a bottle of pills pouring a few muscle relaxer into his hand.

Trust me, take them.

He waited to hear the voices of reason trying to convince him otherwise but they never showed, it was as if everyone went dormant.

Popping 14 extremely strong muscle relaxers into his mouth he swallowed them down with water before crawling back into bed, he'd miss Anya and M'lani but hoped that his suffering would end.

-—-

15 hours later.

Hearing the beeping of machines brought Milo back into himself, his eyes shot open as he noticed he was in a hospital bed.

"Fuck!" He gritted out instantly regretting the pills not working.

Hearing the door open he saw Dre and Makayla holding flowers and balloons but no Anya or M'lani.

"Where's... Anya."

Dre tucked his bottom lip in and looked at Makayla.

"Our place..She's the one who found you in bed and called 911 after you didn't wake up." Makayla said sitting down the flowers.

Milo looked down at his hands.

"You really scared her bro, she thought you were dead.. We all did."

That's the point...

He sighed and looked out the window. "Tell her I love her aight? I know she's not gonna come up here-"

"She said she'll come see you tomorrow but.... She's not happy." Dre said touching Milo's shoulder as Makayla sighed.

They didn't want their friends to suffer this way but there wasn't much for them to do. All they could do was be there for them both and M'lani.

Anya was blaming herself for what happened although it wasn't her fault, it wasn't anyone's fault that Milo was depressed and sinking low and lower, however she was going to do anything in her power to get her Milo back.

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I'm trying to make the chapters longer y'all I'm sorry.