Excuse any errors.

Not too sure if y'all are really feeling this book. I'm gonna keep writing though.

Anya's dorm in the mm. 💕

————

Omniscient

Milo shook his leg in irritation, it was now Tuesday and he hadn't talked to Anya much over the weekend. On Sunday she went back to the dorms because he asked her to leave, he was finding it hard to express his emotions and it was becoming frustrating to him so to avoid everything he made her leave.

Today was one of those days, he didn't wanna go anywhere or do anything. They didn't even talk in class. Anya was hanging out with her friend Camren while Milo was in therapy.

"So how was your weekend?"

Milo's eyes scanned the room as he slouched in the chair, usually it would be Jax's doing but no one had fronted all day, he was more than annoyed.

"Milo? How was your weekend?" Brianna asked again.

"Fine." He mumbled as he chewed on his bottom lip.

"You seem very bothered today. Did something happen?"

He stared at her intensely.

Yeah. Tell her how stupid we acted. "Shut up." Tell her we kissed Anya, Tell her how you're really feeling. "Shut up, shut up" He mumbled before rubbing his hands down his face.

"I'm just.... Anya and I kissed on Saturday.. I don't even think she meant to do it.. She told me she didn't mean to but I kissed her back."

"How did that make you feel?"

"I don't know but.. Jax didn't like it.. He fronted right after and then everything went left, he didn't wanna talk to her at all, then on Sunday I tried to talk to her but I couldn't... I couldn't express myself."

"Have you tried to talk to her today?"

He shook his head and picking at his hand, he'd usually do it until it broke the skin. It was a coping mechanism.

"Hey, don't do that Milo.."

"She's at the dorms now. I wanna go talk to her.."

"Then go, it'll be fine I think." Brianna said as he sighed.

"No. She probably won't even look my way."

"I think you can do it. Talking will help and you both can get your point across."

He licked his lips feeling more and more frustrated, he was trying not to switch so much, it was becoming more and more rapid.

He looked up at the ceiling and groaned loudly as he put his head in his hands, he rubbed his eyes until he saw shapes. "Fuck!" He said slamming his hands on the arm rest. "Why can't I just communicate like a normal fucking person. I kissed her, yes but why the fuck is it so hard to gotdamn rationalize!?"

"Because everyone's fronting at once and your mind can't process anything. I also think you and Jax are hand in hand in this situation.. Fearing rejection.. And in all honesty she probably isn't going to reject you at all."

"Yeah..I just wanna be the old me again, a year ago I wasn't dealing with this shit, hearing voices, talking to my fucking self!, I was fine.... but then Jax showed up and messed it up for me."

Hell nah, I ain't mess shit up. Mom and pops dying messed us up... Nanna and Paw paw messed us up. YOU MESSED US UP, THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT! DON'T YOU BLAME ME!

Milo covered his ears and began a steadily rocking motion. He was breaking down, it was coming.

"So he showed up first? Hmm... Let's talk about some of the trauma really quick if you don't mind." Brianna said opening her notepad.

"No. Let's not... Let's just talk about something else-"

"You've been avoiding this topic for a while Milo.... I know it makes you uncomfortable but you just revealed that Jax was the first alter and I'm just trying to figure out why he showed up to begin with."

"And I said I didn't wanna talk about it Brianna." He grimaced as his hands began to feel sweaty and his throat became dry. He closed his eyes then opened them quickly.

"Milo?"

"I'm not Milo... he's gone.. It's Atlas.. You're Brianna right?" He smiled a little sitting up straight in the chair.

"I am, it's nice to talk to you again."

"Yeah.. last time I was pretty upset but now I'm ok.. but Milo's upset so I fronted for him. What were we talking about?" He asked tying the strings of his hoodie into a bow.

"Why Jaxon was the first alter and some trauma..."

"Ohhh.. Trauma.. yeah he doesn't like to talk about it but I'll give you a little bit just until it gets too hard to discuss."

"Go on." Brianna encouraged.

"So when we were about 18 our friend was shot in the head but he didn't die. At 20 mom and pops were driving to Georgia to visit some friends when an 18 wheeler hit them and made the car flip over and slam into a median.. it killed them instantly..We didn't start hearing voices until a year ago I guess everything was coming out and our brain split to hide it from us.." He sniffled feeling a tear fall onto his hand, he didn't realize he was crying.

Brianna handed him a box of tissues. "So this is why Jaxon fronted first."

"Something else happened too but I don't think Milo wants to discuss it... it happened when we were little."

"If he doesn't want you to talk about it I won't force it."

"No, no it's fine.. he wants me to tell you...Pops used to beat on mom when we were young, they'd argue so much at night we were too scared to get out of bed.. One time it was so bad that we'd wet the bed because we didn't want to get up, not all the time though but just that one time."

"I'm sorry you guys went through that.... I can who you guys through it...Can we circle back to the rejection conversation from earlier?"

"Sure we can. I like talking to you." He chuckled grabbing the bottle of water, his phone vibrated causing him to take it out of his pocket.

Anya: Can we talk ? Where are you?

"Anya wants to talk.."

"That's good. I'll make this quick so you guys can get going.. Has Jaxon been rejected before?"

"Many times. He's not a fan of rejection especially when it comes to relationships.. We are friends with Anya right now so nothing is official but..." He trailed off.

"But what Atlas?"

"I don't know.. he's just scared and he won't tell me why so... Can we go now?"

"Yeah sessions over. I'll see you in a few days." She smiled as he made his way out of the office.

——-

Pulling out his phone Atlas texted Anya letting her know he was on her hall, knocking on her door he heard the locks turning as she opened it.

"I'll see you later Cam."

"Ok boo- oh.. so this is Milo?"

Atlas smiled not really wanting to correct her in that moment. "Yeah I'm Milo, nice to meet you." He smiled shaking her hand.

Cam looked over at Anya and raised her eyebrows. "Nice meeting your too. Do you have a brother?"

"Cam!" Anya laughed.

"Nah.. I do have 2 other people living in my head though."

Camren furrowed her eyebrows and chuckled, she assumed it was a joke but he was serious. "You're funny. See you two later."

"Ok love."

Closing the door behind her she turned to face Atlas who's eyes scanned the room. It was decorated nicely for it to be a small dorm room, it had a really chill vibe.

"Nice room." He said sitting on the bed as she leaned against her desk. "Thanks.. I just wanted to talk to you.. you know? about the whole kiss thing I didn't mean-"

Milo.. walk me through this.. I didn't kiss her. He thought as Milo's words echoed in his head, he just repeated them out loud.

"Look.." He sighed touching her wrist and guiding her to stand between his legs. "I'm sorry I freaked out on you.. there were a lot of emotions going on in my head and I didn't want to escalate the situation by deepening the kiss and then it lead to something else... I like you a lot Anya but I don't wanna rush into this if you're not-"

"No.. I'm ready." She said abruptly.

"Are you sure? Cause there's a lot to deal with when you're with me.. as you can tell."

"Oh trust me. I can. I'm strong just like you are. Nothing's gonna push me away.. Not even Jaxon." She said as he laughed before licking his lips, his arms wrapped around her waist as her arms went around his neck.

He quickly switched and she didn't notice..he didn't either because it happened so fast.

"So you're my girl now?"

"Am I?" She blushed and smiled a little as he swayed her from side to side.

"Yeah, I want you to be..."

"Then say it Milo.. Tell me what you want me to be."

He tucked his bottom lip between his teeth and looked down, he felt her hand lift his head up making him look at her. "Tell me Milo..."

"I want you to be my girl Anya..." He smiled before she leaned in the kiss his lips, the kiss deepened a little as his eyebrows furrowed and he pulled away.

"Still think you'll hurt me?" She asked tucking her bottom lip between her teeth.

"Sometimes..."

"I'll fix that." She smiled as he made a face.

"You're something else man." He laughed.

"Not like that nasty." She punched him in the shoulder playfully before pecking his lips again.

"Oh, my fault." He laughed before standing up and walking toward the door.

"Where are you going?"

"Home.."

"Oh...okay well.."

"Pack a bag."

"Huh?" She said with a confused look on her face.

"You're coming with me... So pack a bag. I'll bring you back in tomorrow sometime." He shrugged opening the door to wait for her in the hallway.

She sent a text to Cam letting her know where she was going and that she'd be back in the morning, walking to the parking lot Milo locked his fingers with hers causing her to looked up at him and smile.

"I don't wanna lose you Anya.."

"You won't. I promise."

———

1am

Sitting on the bathroom floor Milo's hands shook, he was breaking down and wasn't expecting it to happen so soon.

"Slow deep breaths, slow deep breaths.....Fuck."

Anya was asleep but woke up when she herd something fall, letting her eyes adjust she walked over to the bathroom.

"Milo.. are you ok?"

He looked at the door as the knob turned before opening. "Milo, oh my goodness.. what's the matter?" She said sitting down next to him.

He put his head down and sighed. "I'm fine."

"No you're not. I'll sit here until you are though."

He looked over at her with red eyes, he had been crying for the past 15 minutes quietly so that he wouldn't wake her up.

"I don't wanna go to the hospital... they'll drug me up."

"Why would you need to go there?"

"I'm having an episode... it's coming I can feel it.. that's why I came in here." He mumbled soon picking at his hand, she put her hand over his and he looked at her. "I told you there's a lot to deal with-"

"And I told you I can handle it."

It was quiet for a moment before his crying started again, he covered his ears and closed his eyes, Anya held him close to her as he cried. She didn't move though.

"I'm gonna hurt myself..."

"No you're not I'm right here holding you so you can't." She said. Some things she learned in class was helping him to deescalate.

He wiggled out of her hold and stood up, he opened the door and looked at her. "I'm fine. Go back to sleep."

"You sure?"

"Mhm." He nodded as she went back into the living room, he stopped her. "You can sleep in here. I'll sleep out there." once she was in bed he took his medication knowing the it would relax him too much but he needed it.

"Goodnight Anya." He said covering her with a blanket.

"Goodnight Milo." She smiled as he left the bedroom. Laying across the couch he turned over on his side and tried to get comfortable.

——-

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