Twenty-Three | Sloan

"So," Shelby began, "how long have you and Ollie been dating?"

I pressed my mitten-covered hands to my face and exhaled a heap of hot air into them to keep warm. The relief was short-lived. My fingers were freezing. I was uncomfortable standing here alone with Shelby and wished that Ollie would rescue me from this conversation. His mom had casually excused herself from the day's activities, claiming she had a headache, likely just wanting her kids to spend time together. I wasn't stupid. I knew Shelby had to be the girl that messed Ollie up, and now I could see why.

His own brother? Ouch.

"We aren't dating," I said, tugging at the oversized knit hat Ollie had lent me before he ran off with Mikah to retrieve sleds. My voice didn't sound sure of that statement, because I did not know what Ollie and I were doing.

Ollie kissed me, and my skin hadn't stopped buzzing since.

I could barely bring myself to look at the girl I knew Ollie was in love with. Shelby was ridiculously pretty—now recognizing her as the woman behind the bar at the Mulligan's Christmas party. Even though it was winter, Shelby's skin was a sun-kissed caramel color. Her bright blue eyes forced you to take notice, and her long blonde hair was perfectly curled and high in a ponytail. This was the type of girl who looked like she had her shit together, judging by the expensive UGG boots and the purple Canada Goose coat she was wearing.

So, this is Ollie's type? I wondered.

His mom was right...blonde. Not sure about the crazy part yet, other than I couldn't fathom how you could go from one brother to the next like Ollie meant nothing.

There was no way I could compare to the girl beside me. I was lucky if I could afford a pair of cheap mittens from a thrift shop, and I couldn't remember the last time I had actually spent the time to curl my hair. That wasn't even what was bothering me the most. It was how Shelby looked at Ollie that made me feel sick. For someone with a boyfriend, Shelby's focus was constantly on the man she left, and her reaction to me was that of a jealous girlfriend.

"Really?" Shelby asked, staring off towards the garage where the brothers had disappeared to. "But he brought you home for Christmas?"

"He was just being nice," I said, feeling the words sting. "I had a rough year and wasn't going to celebrate. Ollie felt bad."

Was the kiss out of pity? Was the gift? It felt real, and that realization terrified me. Feelings were brewing, and it seemed too soon. The sex was one thing—falling for Ollie was another. It hadn't been a year since Steve passed. I was treading unknown waters with Ollie. I didn't want the thought of gifts, the holiday season, or family to cloud my judgement.

"You're selling yourself short, Sloan." Shelby sighed, still staring at the garage. I knew we were both waiting for the same tattooed chef to appear. "I've known Ollie since I was fifteen. He doesn't bake, and he sure as hell doesn't go sledding. In fact, he hasn't been showing up for holidays at all. He's showing you off and proud of it. Not to mention, he can't keep his eyes off of you."

My cheeks flushed to a bright shade of red as soon as Shelby turned back to me, and it wasn't from the chilled air. Had he really brought me here to meet his family? To show me off? Did he like me as much as I liked him?

I knew how Ollie felt about Shelby, though, and that was telling me that Shelby had this wrong. Perhaps he was using me to make his ex jealous? I wanted to think more of him than that, especially since he had asked me out here and not the beautiful blonde who left him for his own kin.

"You're his ex, right?" I wanted—no, needed—the confirmation. "The one who left him because of his career?"

Shelby glanced at the garage again, nodding to agree. I allowed the wave of disgust to hit me, knowing I could never befriend this girl after what she did. It's difficult to become an executive chef at his age. He was doing what he needed to do to succeed and give them a good life. So she needed more attention and took the next best thing? Relationships are hard work, and balancing them with school and a job is even harder. How could she toss someone aside that she claimed to love? What if I had done that to Steve when he got sick?

When Ollie and Mikah appeared from the garage, both lugging a sled under each arm, I watched Shelby's eyes move only towards Ollie. I mirrored her movements and felt my belly flip when Ollie caught only my stare, not that of his ex. He smiled at me as if we were the only two people outside, causing a warmth that caused my chattering teeth to stop. I couldn't help but smile back. He made smiling seem easy again.

"Ready, Chef?" Ollie called out to me, trudging his way through knee-deep snow that had accumulated all night and morning.

I bobbed my head yes and took a few steps towards him before looking back at Shelby. "He deserved better," I said with a shrug, feeling the need to stick up for the man who had been sticking up for me.

Shelby visibly swallowed, seeming to take in my words. I knew by the look on Shelby's face that she agreed. No words were necessary.

>>

"I've never been on a sled," I confessed to Ollie before biting down on my lip.

I scaled the sloped hill in front of us, wondering how the hell to avoid crashing into a tree. Multiple large spruce trees covered the yard, and I knew I was bound to hit one of them. The incline of the slope seemed sharp for a first timer. I was a terrible klutz and knew Ollie had witnessed this firsthand. I was constantly running into things and other people in the kitchen—sometimes him.

"Seriously?" Ollie chuckled, cocking his eyebrow.

"All I've done with snow is shovel it."

"Not even a snow angel or a snow man?"

My head shook. Apparently, this was a rite of passage for other people during their youth, but not mine. I was too busy being worried about finding food for my foster siblings and me. Without a life like that, maybe I wouldn't be standing here right now.

"Want to go down with me?" Ollie offered, clearly feeling my anxiety about going down the hill for the first time. "I'm willing to share my saucer."

I peered at the metal saucer in his hands reluctantly. It was small, tiny, with only enough room for one occupant. I lifted my brow to him. That grin of his said exactly what I was thinking... I'd be sitting on his lap.

Instead of waiting for an answer, Ollie tossed the metal circle to our feet and took his place on it, dropping his butt to the sled and curling his legs into the shape of a pretzel. I was already giggling at the sight of him. If only my classmates could see our hard-ass chef now, grinning like a child on a new toy with his arms outstretched for me to join. There was no way I was going to resist those pleading eyes and dimples. Carefully, I stood in front of him, allowing Ollie's hands to grip my hips and guide me down to his lap until I plopped into place.

"Tuck your legs like I have mine," Ollie instructed, placing his chin on my shoulder.

He smelled like our snickerdoodles—like cinnamon and sugar. My mouth watered.

I did as I was told, forming a pretzel with my legs and leaning into Ollie's chest. The sound of laughter rang out from the other couple that had already gone down the hill once on individual sleds. Mikah and Shelby were now trekking their way back up the hill. I peered back to Ollie to gauge his reaction to being out here with his ex, but he was focused intensely on the girl in his lap. I liked this spot and couldn't help but to think that I fit here nicely.

"You tell me when you're ready." Ollie smiled while staring at my lips.

Memories of our kiss in the kitchen rushed back to me, bringing goosebumps with them. Why did I feel like this was a loaded response—being 'ready'? Is that how he was hoping I would interpret it? I felt exhilaration and utterly terrified as I gave a brief nod.

"Ready," I whispered back, seeing my breath in the cold. I just hoped that he realized I was trusting him more with just a sled ride down a hill.

With my heart pounding, I felt all of Ollie's muscles flex against me as he used his hands to push us forward. I attempted to brush off the fact that I was panicking about the trees. I didn't tense until I could feel the sled slide by itself, just a little, telling me we were damn close to losing control of it.

"I've got you," Ollie whispered to my neck and wrapped his arms around my middle, just before using his hips to give one more thrust of momentum to the cold metal.

As soon as the sled slipped, my hands were gripping Ollie's arms for dear life, causing him to hug me closer. The sled started slowly at first, but once it hit a nice open patch of fresh snow, it began moving much faster than I had expected. I let out the first of many screams that were about to follow when we hit the first bump.

"Oh my God, Ollie! You're going to kill me!" I squealed and pressed my eyes shut tight. Ollie was laughing behind me, his chest vibrating against my back, finding my fear much funnier than I did.

"Big bump!" Ollie cried out just as we hit it.

I didn't have to open my eyes to know that we were airborne. The fluttering in my stomach told me we were. The freezing air against my face was exhilarating. I found myself surprised I was actually enjoying this.

"Oh, shit!" I released another scream as we crashed back into the snow.

"Roll off!" Ollie yelled into my ear. "Or we are going to hit the tree!"

"What?" I screamed in panic, opening my eyes just in time to see that he was correct. We were heading towards a rather large spruce.

Instinctively, I brought my hands up to cover my face, disregarding Ollie's requests to roll. Instead of repeating himself, Ollie held me even tighter and rolled himself with me in his arms off of the saucer and into the crunchy, cold snow beneath us. The sled stopped beside us without our weight to guide it further.

I was laughing so hard that I didn't even care how cold and drenched my clothes were becoming. That was the most fun I had experienced in years. Ollie let out a slow, pained groan, followed by his own hearty laughter as he rolled his body to face me. His dimples were well defined, and I had never heard him laugh so loud. I was hearing his true laughter, the one from our first night at the bar and Thanksgiving-eve, and it was my new favorite sound.

Ollie moved himself closer and wrapped his arm around me as he hovered slightly. "You okay?" He chuckled.

"That was so fun!" I admitted. "Again!"

"Slow down, daredevil." He grinned above me. "Take a moment to make sure you aren't in pain. If you aren't now, a few more times down that hill and you will be tonight."

"I feel amazing!"

More giggles ensued as I snuggled into the snow. Ollie used his arm to pull me closer. I would not resist this, and I didn't when he brought his wet glove up to cup my chilled cheek.

"I'm sorry we haven't had much alone time," he said, apologizing. "I thought if we came out here, we'd be by ourselves."

"I don't mind." I said. "Your mom is so nice to allow me to hang out here over your family's holiday."

Ollie smiled. "She likes you. I just didn't realize she'd keep attempting to steal all of your time."

"We're alone now?" I offered some consolation and bit down on my lip.

Ollie seemed to like that answer as he dipped his face closer to mine. My stomach was already doing flips, with Ollie's thumb gliding across my cheek.

"Yes, we are..." he said, agreeing.

My eyes closed, readying myself for our second kiss of the day, only long enough to hear screams, laughter, and another sled landing beside us. My eyes opened again, only to see Ollie rolling his eyes at his brother and his ex's impeccable timing.

"And now, we're not." Ollie dropped himself back into the snow with a frustrated huff.

I seconded this sound with the same disappointment that my lips were lacking his.