My eyes fluttered open as i yawned covering my mouth, i turned over to come face to face with a sleeping Toni, i sat up grabbing my robe putting it on then throwing the sheets off my body letting the cold air hit me making me shiver.

I quietly made my way to the bathroom, i stripped out of my nightgown then threw it in the laundry, i went into the hot shower washing my hair and body, with my shampoo and body wash when i was finally done i dried myself with my towel.

Throwing on my undergarment then outfit i quickly put on, i looked my face in the mirror remembering my father's words. 'don't cry when i die' i blinked away my tears before walking out of the bathroom to see Toni leaning against the headboard sleepily rubbing his eyes.

He moved his hands away looking at me. "Good morning." His husky morning voice was heard.

I gave him a small smile. "Morning." I replied softly as i turned around walking towards the door, i walked out and went into the guestroom my mom was sleeping at, i opened the door to see her crying with her head in her hands.

I frowned with tears forming in my eyes as i made my way towards her, she looked up at me opening up her arm, i ran into them wrapping my arms around her.

"Shh." I rubbed her back feeling a lump in my throat, i pulled away wiping her tears. "You promised dad you wouldn't cry." I said trying so hard to not make my voice crack.

She sniffed nodding. "I know, sweetie i know." She struggled to not cry. "But i can't." She bursted into tears again.

I felt my tears spring free from my eyes as i pulled my mother into my arms. "I know mom." I said rubbing her back up and down. "Get some rest." We pulled away and she nodded laying down on the bed, i pulled the sheets over her body.

I kissed her forehead before turning around and walking out of the room, i shut the door leaning against it, tears swelled up in my eyes i quickly blinked them away as i wiped the tears on my cheek.

I stood straight walking downstairs, i sighed walking to the dining room to see everyone sitting the eating in quiet, Toni looked up at me as he swallowed his food. "Good morning sweetheart." Jennifer said softly, making me break eye contact with Toni.

I let out a shaky breath and nodding my head not trusting my voice. "Come sit down." Jordan said, i quietly walked over sitting in between Toni and Katherine. "I'm sorry for your loss." I nodded at him, looking down at my hands.

"Good morning! Family!" I looked up to see Sara walking in with biggest smile on her face, she sighed in happiness as she sat down across from me. "Life is great, isn't it?" She said. "Mali please get me some fruit since this week has been great for me." I drank some water.

"We just had a funeral!" Jennifer argued, Sara turned her head towards her sending her a careless face.

"But it wasn't like i was related to the man." She said carelessly as she threw an orange in her mouth.

I looked at her in shock, what happened to respect the dead? I put my head down standing up from my seat and walked out of the dining room.

Instead of going upstairs into my room, i went straight and walked towards the front door opening it and walking out of the house, i ran a hand through my hair as i walked on the side walk looking at the cars passing by.

I ran a hand through my hair as i walked into a park filled with children and grown ups, i slowly made my way towards a bench sitting down watching little kids play, i couldn't help but smile at the kids.

I never experienced a life like that, i never experienced a childhood, i had my childhood taken away from me by those monsters, every time i would want to go out they would tell me no and they would scare me by telling me i would get kidnapped.

Then the kidnapper will skin me, i mean who says that to a child? Who scares a child like that? They took away everything from me starting from my parents. I can't believe my dad is dead, i didn't even have a proper conversation with him, i didn't even get a chance to know him.

I didn't realize i was crying until a tear hit my hand, i jumped when i felt a hand on my shoulder, turning around to meet icy blue eyes. "Are you okay?" He asked taking a seat beside me.

I sat there shaking my head looking at the kids laughing while playing. "Don't you ever get this feeling where you think everything is your fault?" I asked him.

He nodded his head. "I do." He answered not looking at me. "But none of this your fault." He said turning his head looking at me.

"It is, if i went to my dad sooner, i would of had time to spend with him." I said with a lump in my throat.

He looked over at me shaking his head. "Stop blaming yourself." He said.

"This marriage is my fault."

"No, it's not."

"My father dying is my fault."

"Layla, it isn't."

I ignored his comeback as i went on. "Everything is my fault!" I held eye contact with him.

"No! It isn't!" He argued making me jump. "Stop! blaming yourself." He yelled but not to loud to draw attention. "The marriage isn't your fault, it's those monsters and my parents." He started. "Your dad dying isn't your fault, he just fell sick-" I cut him off.

"He fell sick because he was stressing over me!" I bit back, He sighed. "I'm bad luck! Toni!" I whisper/shouted. "Ever since i walked inside your house, everything went down hi-" I was cut off by a pair of lips smashing on mine.

I stood there frozen, he's kissing me....Toni Mahfud....My husband who hated me is kissing me, i didn't even realize i was kissing back, he was my first kiss.

I felt sparks around my body and butterflies in my stomach, Toni grabbed onto my waist deepening the kiss, my hand slowly reached up cupping one of his cheeks. The kiss felt amazing, it was gentle and full of passion.

I felt goosebumps arrive on my skin when we pulled away breathlessly, Toni leaned his forehead onto mine as he pecked my lips one more time before pulling away for good and also let go of my waist, i sat there in shock.

"I need to go." Toni said, getting up and walking away leaving me there frozen still feeling his lips on mine.

But then reality slapped me hard, what did i just do? I would be lying if i said i didn't like the kiss, because i didn't only like it, i loved the kiss.

I just had my first kiss.

Shit! Fucking Shit! What the hell did i just do? What the fuck is wrong with me? Why the fuck did i just kiss her? I can't fucking fall for her, i need to get her off my mind and i know just how to, i pulled out my phone dialing her number.

With one ring she picked up. "Hey baby." Her squeaky annoying voice came through the phone.

"I'm coming over." I said.

"I've been waiting for this phone call since forever, i'll wear something sexy for you." I cringed at her trying to be sexy.

"Whatever." I said before ending the call and went towards my car hopping in, and i drove off. I still can't get that kiss off my mind, it felt weird.

It was one of the best kiss i've ever had, but the terrible thing is i felt something when i kissed her, something that i was supposed to ignore since i got with her and now look at me falling for another girl, i can't let that happen, i can't let my feelings get to me.

I parked my car when i made it to Violet's house, i hopped out of my car and walked over towards the door knocking, in a second the door flew open revealing Violet in her pink silky robe, She grabbed my hand pulling me in then shut the door.

She pulled me upstairs into her room, swaying her hips trying to act sexy, once we entered her room she shut the door smirking at me. "Oh baby! This going to be fun." She winked then threw her robe off.

Revealing her pink lingerie, for some reason i wasn't hard, this didn't affect me all it did was make me cringe in disgust, before i would throw her on the bed and have sex with her but now it make me feel guilty.

I have a wife for gods sake! No matter if it's an arrange marriage i can't do it, i can't it's still an affair and i can't cheat on Layla, i kissed her a few minutes ago and now i'm over here with another girl.

Violet walked over to me touching my chest, she went on her tippy toe's to kiss me but i moved away. "Look, sorry i called you Violet but i can't do this." I sighed moving away from her walking over to the door.

"No!" She rejected grabbing my arm turning me around. "I know you want me! Touch me Toni! Touch me! I'm so wet for you!" I cringed as i pushed her away from me.

"Go fuck someone else! I don't give a fuck, this was a mistake coming here!" I shouted at her making her jump in fear, before turning around and slamming the door behind me, i made my way downstairs.

Opening the front door and got in my car driving off, what the fuck was i thinking? My wife's father just passed away, and i promised him that i would take care of her, i kissed her and then i go next to another woman, fucking hell Toni!

I parked my car in front of my house, entering the quiet house, i see a maid cleaning the mirror. "Where is everyone?" I asked her.

She turned around looking at me shyly. "They went to work, Mrs.Montgomery left to go home, while Layla is in the living room." I nodded, making my way to the living room.

When i entered the living room, i see Layla sitting there with her head in her hands, i walked over to her, she looked up at me with her red eyes, it made my heartache to see her crying. "What's wrong?" I asked worriedly.

She shook her head. "They found out." She said shakily, making me look at her confused.

"Who found out what?" I asked.

"They found out." She cried shaking her head.

"What are you talking about?" I questioned.

"They found out i'm still pure and that we didn't do anything on our wedding night." She answered my question, keeping her eyes away from me.

What's bad about that. "Who?" I asked.

"Your grandmother and everyone else in the house." She answered.

"Okay what is wrong about that?" I asked.

"Your grandmother went crazy and started saying that we need children or she will expose this family!" She answered breathing heavily.

I stood there in shock, why would my grandmother do such a thing? Why would she want to ruin her family? When has she ever acting like this!? This is fucking bullshit, i sighed rubbing my mustache in frustration.

"Tonight no one else will be here except for me and you because-" She cut herself off having tears form in her eyes. "We have to do something tonight." She said with a crack in her voice, this better be a fucking joke! The girl isn't ready.

I ran a hand through my hair, what are we supposed to do? I don't get it. "Wait." I told her before pulling out my phone dialing my dad's number and calling him.

"Hello?" He answered.

"Dad we're not doing it." I said, keeping my eyes on Layla who played with her hands nervously, i felt pain in my chest seeing her like this.

"Son, your grandmother is going to ruin our family, look you'll have to do it for the family, and don't think about throwing the sheets away because your grandmother wants to believe it." I stood there in shock.

I can't do that to Layla. "She's not ready!" I shouted through the phone, Layla looked up at me knowing they haven't changed their mind.

"Son, we told your grandmother the same thing but she doesn't care and she was about to call the pres to come over and tell them that you guys haven't done it because Layla isn't pure." He said making my eyes widen.

"Dad i can't do it."

"I'm sorry son but that's the only way to stop your grandmother."

I looked over at Layla who stood up let out a breath, rubbing her hands on her arm up and down.

"Goodbye son." I heard my dad say before ending the call.

Layla slowly turned around, and i slowly looked up at her. "There is nothing i could do." I said sitting down rubbing my temple. She kept her eyes on me not saying a word. "I'm sorry." I told her. "What are we going to do?" I asked.

She looked at me. "We are going to have to-" She cut herself off swallowing loudly.

I put my hand on her shoulder making her close her eyes, she doesn't even want me to touch her. "We don't have to if you're not ready." I told her.

She shook her head. "You're grandmother will ruin this family and not only that she'll make lies about me." she told me, with tears falling in her eyes.

"We can make a plan, but fake blood on the sheets!" I told her.

Layla stared at something behind me with wide eyes. "Fake blood?" I heard someone say from behind me, i turned around to see my grandmother, she chuckled. "I have camera's to look at." I looked at her in disgust.

Why doesn't she just go watch porn? I looked at her clenching my jaw together, i always hated her. "It will happen tonight, and if you have something behind your brain, i will make sure a doctor checks if she's still innocent." Layla looked at her in shock. "Get to work." She smirked.

"You're a dirty old witch!" I shouted at her, she turned around sending me a glare. "No wonder my grandfather left you." Her nose flared with anger.

"Don't test me Toni!" She said before turning around and leaving me with my shocked wife, i turned around looking at Layla. "I'm so sorry." I shook my head. "I know you're not re-" She cut me off and the next thing she said shocked me.

I looked at him with tears in my eyes. "I know you're not re-" I cut him off and the next thing i said shocked the both of us.

"We'll have to do it." I said before turning around walking out of the living room and upstairs into my room, i shut the door behind me slowly sinking down to the ground, i can't do it. I'm not ready to give up my innocents.

I sobbed as i brought my knees up to my chest and my head in my hands, i'm not ready to lose it, i don't want this.

I slowly stood up walking over to the box on my bed, i slowly opened the box, unwrapping the bags around it and took out the fabric to see a lacy lingerie, i quickly threw it on the bed feeling tears fall out from my eyes.

Everything is happening too fast, i heard the door open and close behind me, i turned around to see Toni's grandmother standing there smirking. "You know i never liked you, since the day you entered this family there was no happiness, i mean my daughter told me a lot." She walked over to me.

Putting a stray of hair behind my ear, before grabbing my arm and the lingerie, taking me towards our bathroom and pushing me in there shutting the door behind me. "You better get ready!" She shouted.

I cried as i closed my eyes tight, i wish this was all just a nightmare. I opened my eyes holding onto the counter to help me stand up, i looked at myself in the mirror slowly taking off my shirt, and slipping off my pants.

I sobbed as i kept my eyes on the mirror, slowly slipping off my bra and underwear, i grabbed the lingerie, slipping it on. I can't believe i'm losing my innocents today and i'm not ready and i know Toni doesn't want to do it.

I will not blame him, or myself but i will blame someone for the first time his grandmother, i slowly walked out of the bathroom to see the grandmother sitting on the bed waiting, she turned her head looking at me.

Walking over to me wiping my tears harshly before giving me an evil smile. "Good girl." She smirked walking out of the room leaving me alone.

I sat on the bed gasping for air, i wanted to call my mother but Toni's grandmother took my phone away from me, i heard the door open, looking up to see Toni. My breath caught my throat, as he slowly shut the door.

He looked down in guilt walking over to me, keeping his eyes away from me. "I'm sorry." He whispered.

I shook my head in response. "It's not your fault." I told him avoiding eye contact like he avoided mine.

He slowly bent down, making my breath hitch as he softly grabbed my chin leaning down and capturing my lips with his, i fluttered my eyes closed as i slowly kissed him back, i slowly fell back not breaking the kiss.

As he hovered on top of me, he pulled away staring deeply into my eyes as i stared back at him. "I'm sorry." He repeated as his head dipped down to my neck kissing it.

I closed my eyes feeling tears fall from my eyes, his kiss traveled to my shoulder before pulling away moving off of me shaking his head. "I-i can't." He said, standing up.

I sat up looking at him pacing around the room. "We can't do anything about it." I said looking down at my hands.

Toni stopped and looked over at me. "You're not ready, i'm not going to take away your innocents when you're not ready." He told me, i know anger is building up inside of him and he wants to let it out.

"Toni, i don't want this but what are we going to do, your grandmother." I looked down at my hands playing with my wedding ring. "Toni just do it." I whispered making him look down at me in shock.

I slowly raised my eyes up. "Just do it, to save your family and me." I told him, his eyes were on me with his icy blue eyes, he was about to open his mouth. "Toni, you're grandmother will know and she'll ruin all of us." I said. "Just do it." I felt tears build up in my eyes.

I quickly blinked them away, Toni sighed nodding. Before unbuttoning his dress shirt, we held eye contact as he slowly slipped off his shirt, showing off his muscular body. I quickly looked away as he made his way towards me.

He slowly crawled on top of me hovering over me, leaning down capturing my lips once again, i put my hand on his biceps, as he moved away from my lips and onto my neck once again, he slowly made his way towards the sting of my lingerie.

I closed my eyes as my heartbeat was going quick like i ran a mile, he slowly removed the string of my lingerie on my right arm, we both know i'm not ready but there is nothing we could do and we can't blame each other.

Toni took the string off my left arm, still not taking the lingerie off of me, he continued kissing my neck and collarbone, i opened my eyes tears blurred my vision as i blinked them away swallowing the lump in my throat.

"I'm sorry." He said once again kissing me until he reached my chest, he slowly dragged the lingerie down keeping his eyes on my face, i kept my eyes on his. He slowly removed everything leaving me bare.

I felt exposed but there is nothing i can do about it, Toni breathed in not taking his eyes off my hand, he didn't dare to look down, i know he doesn't want to do this, he probably thinks i'll hate him for this but i won't, because it's not his choice.

He unbuttoned his pants, taking them off leaving him in his boxers, he hesitantly climbed back on top of me, and dipped down kissing my cheek. "I'm sorry." He repeated.

"It's okay." I finally spoke up, i leaned up kissing his lips.

"You're not ready."

"There is nothing we could do."

Toni nodded with the look of guilt before sliding off his boxers revealing his thing, i looked at it in shock, i can't do this! I'm not ready! I swallowed loudly, it's going to hurt, he scanned my body before spreading my legs opened.

I quickly closed it, feeling exposed. "Forgive me." He said before he opened my legs and that's where it all started.