Chapter 69

Louis's POV

~~next morning~~

I slowly began waking up, the sun was shining right in my face and I squinted my eyes, sitting up and looking around. Wait this isn't my bedroom...oh yeah, I'm with Harry at the hospital. He still owes me a good explanation on why he tried committing suicide. And I won't let him off the hook until he tells me why. Why did he do it? I'll never quite understand him, but I'm trying to.

I poked Harry's side and he rolled over groaning. He laid on his back, his eyes closed and mumbled "what?"

"How are you feeling?"

"Like crap"

I chuckled and poked Harry's side again, this time, he glared at me "what do you want!?"

I stared at him and crossed my arms "what do I want? I want to know why the hell you tried to kill yourself. That's what."

Suddenly, he sat up, fear filling his voice and hands were shaking "p-please....I-I don't wanna talk about that.."

"Yes. You will. Tell me, now"

I said, crossly.

He shook his head and pulled the blanket over his face "no....it wouldn't be a very good idea...

I said I don't wanna talk about it..."

"Hazz, I want to know so I can help you."

"No! No more helping! Everyone says they want to help but they end up leaving me, I thought you'd be different, but I was wrong"

Ouch...that really hurt...

Does he really think I haven't tried to help him?! I've been there for him when no one else has. And now he's going to say that?! I don't understand him, I just don't.

I ripped the sheets off of Harry

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU WERE WRONG ABOUT ME?!"

He shook his head, stuttering

"t-that's n-not what I-I meant.."

"WELL IT SURE AS HELL SOUNDS LIKE YOU DON'T NEED ME ANYMORE. I'm leaving...see ya"

I got up from his bed and started off towards the door. Harry burst out crying

"n-no! Don't go Lou, please! I need you"

"Why should I stay?" I said,coldly, turning around and crossing my arms.

"b-because...y-you promised...you said you'd never leave..."

"I lied ok? Bye."

I left Harry crying and alone and walked down the hall. I clenched my fists and stormed outside.

He's so clingy and annoying! I just want to know why he won't tell me what happened. I...I do love him...and I want to help. Ok so maybe that wasn't the best way to deal with things but I'd had enough. He expects me to do everything for him, and then when I ask why he tried to kill himself he shuts up. I'm so angry with him. I don't want to talk to him.

I walked out to my car and flopped in my seat. I sat there staring out the window and thinking.

I don't know how long I was sitting there, but I glanced over and saw a nurse rushing outside. She ran over to my car and tapped on the window. I rolled my eyes and sighed. I rolled down the window and raised an eyebrow, slightly annoyed

"What do you want?"

"Are you Mr Tomlinson?"

"Yes. Why?"

"We need you to come back inside, please just listen to me"

"Why?"

"It's Harry he-"

"I don't want to talk to him! I made it very clear that I didn't want to see him"

"Please, he needs you."

Before I could answer she opened my door and I was being dragged inside.

She led me into Harry's room and pointed to the couch where a few nurses and a doctor were standing. I walked over and tapped the doctor on the shoulder and he back away so I could get to Harry.

How dare he?! He promised he wouldn't do it again...

Harry was sitting there with bandages wrapped around his wrists with blood leaking through them.

A nurse turned to me and crossed her arms

"He was cutting himself"

"Well I can see that. Can we have some time alone?"

"Of course. If you need anything-"

"I know, I know. Press the button yeah, yeah. I got it"

She rolled her eyes at me and walked out the door with the rest of them. The doctor came over and stood there while I sat down next to Harry.

"Mr Styles, I just need to ask, how long have you been doing this?"

Harry stared down at his feet and mumbled something.

"He can't hear you, Harry" I grumbled. I'm still annoyed with him. I don't want to be in here.

"I said, um...a long time" Harry bit his lip and looked at the floor.

"That doesn't answer his question." I said, anger filling my voice.

"It's fine Mr Tomlinson, we'll ask questions later."

The doctor walked out of the room, leaving me alone with Harry.

I immediately stood up and crossed my arms, glaring in his direction.

Harry looked up at me with tears in his eyes "d-don't go"

"Ha. Like I want to stay in here with you. I've been the only who's willing to put up with you"

He stared at me and hung his head, he started sobbing

"See...? No one wants to put up with me...I'm just a mistake...I shouldn't be here...even you think so..."

"Harry, no. That's not what I meant"

"Yes it is...but it's ok...I wish I would've died"

"Don't say that! Harry, stop. I don't want you dead! I love you, more than anything"

He swallowed hard and glanced at me "you left me...I just cause problems..."

A few tears formed in my eyes as sat next to Harry and put my hand over his "no you don't. Harry, I love you. I won't give up on you. I was being a jerk, forgive me...y-you know I'll never leave you.."

"yeah, you were being a jerk...and I don't believe you, you said you'd never leave.."

"And I won't"

"You lied. It was a lie. You don't really love me.. n-no one c-can.."

He broke down crying and I pulled him in for a hug. It breaks my heart knowing he might not trust me again...how come I did that..? I just walked out on him..

He's just been through something very traumatic and I yell at him and act like I don't care...I'm a horrible person..

"Hazz, don't think for a second I meant any of that...I-I was upset, that's all...I shouldn't have said that. And I didn't lie to you about not leaving...I love you, and I can promise you, I'll be here for you"

"r-really?" He sniffed, wiping his eyes and looking at me.

"Really."

"ok.."

"Harry"

"Yes?"

"why...why were you cutting yourself again? You promised you'd stop..."

"I...I thought you didn't want me anymore...I was scared...I thought you hated too, like everyone else...I...I don't know..."

"I'd never hate you. I love you so much"

"I love you, too."

I helped Harry to his bed and sat next him. I played with his hair while he laid on my chest and tried to sleep.

"Hazz."

"Yeah?"

"It's ok if you say no but....will you be my boyfriend? I know I asked before but I just-"

Harry leaned over and kissed me, he hung his head and glanced at me, a smirk on his lips.

"I'll take that as a yes" I grinned and ran my fingers through his curls. At least he still loves me...I wouldn't after the way I treated him...but that's something I love about Harry. He doesn't just give up on people, he forgives easily and does'nt stay mad forever, like I do.

"Hazz...you don't have to tell me, but...why would you try to kill yourself?"

"Well...all the hate...and.."

"It's ok, you can tell me, I won't be mad"

Harry hesitated and let out a sigh

"Edward...."

"That's why?! HE PUT YOU UP TO THIS DIDN'T HE?! DAMN I HATE HIM, I'M GONNA KILL HIM"

"y-you said you wouldn't be mad.."

"HOW CAN I NOT?! THAT GUY IS AN IDIOT. WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?!"

"b-because I was trying to keep you safe...he'll hurt you again if you confront him, I don't want you to get hurt.."

Harry started crying again and covered his face "I-I'm sorry, Lou...but I couldn't..and now you're mad..."

I wrapped my arms around him and sighed "I am mad, but not at you. I'm furious with this Edward guy. He should be dead not you"

"Lou, that's not nice....don't say that"

"Don't say that?! Harry, he wanted you dead! Now you're defending him?!"

"No one should have to suffer like that...not even him"

I rolled my eyes and didn't say anything. I pulled Harry closer and kissed his cheek. He's too sweet, how could he not want Edward dead? I know I would if I were him. I'd want Edward to suffer, but Harry's not like that.

I held Harry as he cried himself to sleep. Yes it was heartbreaking but I'm trying to deal with this professionally instead of freaking out.

A nurse came in and asked if I was ready to leave, I told her I'd stay again.

I'll stay with Harry as long as he needs it, I'm never leaving him again. Ever.