Chapter 50

Harry's POV

I can't believe he loves me, after all this time. He's felt the same as I have. I wanted to ask if he liked me, I really did, but I thought that if I asked, and was wrong, he'd hate me. I thought I'd lose the only friend I had, I expected him to leave just like everyone else...

"I love you, Harry" Louis said, sweetly, he hugged me as we sat on the couch together. I snuggled closer to him, "I love you, too" I replied, barely a whisper, yes I was over joyed he loved me back, but I was still worrying about Edward, and all of the other people who absolutely hated me. I wish I didn't care about what people thought of me...but I do, nothing can change that...that's just how I am. At least I have Louis now, I'll always have someone to talk to now, hopefully I won't feel so alone.

"Harry?" Louis tapped on my head, snapping me out of my thoughts.

"Yes?"

He bit his lip, and glanced around nervously. "I...I was wondering if I could move in with you guys again...I know I was staying at Eleanor's before, but she kicked me out, I have no where to go at the moment"

"Of course, you don't even have to ask. We're like your brothers aren't we?"

Louis nodded, smiling and pressing a kiss to my cheek. I giggled and cocked my head. "What was that for?"

"Because I love you" he grinned, ruffling my hair. I smiled and yawned, "I'm tired, Lou"

"Wanna go take a nap?"

"If you come with me"

"Of course"

Louis got to his feet, then helped me up, I was still feeling a bit dizzy and had a head ache, but it was going away, sleep should help. It always has when ever I want to escape some sort of pain...

We entered my room and Louis helped me to the bed, I crawled under the sheets and sighed in relief.

"Get me some sweat pants?"

Louis crossed his arms "what's the magic word?"

I groaned and rolled my eyes, "get me some pants, please."

Louis snickered, saying "thank you" and walked over to my dresser, "which pair of sweats do you want?"

"I don't care, just something more comfortable than these horrid jeans" I mumbled, pulling my pillow over my head, and groaning.

I closed my eyes and sighed. I heard Louis digging around, he kept asking which pants I wanted, I ignored him, I just want sleep now, forget the pants.

"Hazz..."

"What?!" I grumbled, "I'm tired"

He didn't answer until he'd reached my bed, he sat next to me and I opened my eyes, "what Lou? I'm really ti-" I stopped in the middle of my sentence and sat up, "where did you find these?" I demanded, snatching the blades out of Louis's hand.

"In your drawer..."

I'm so stupid, why wasn't I thinking about that? It hadn't even crossed my mind. I should hide them better next time...

Louis pushed the blankets aside and laid next to me, "I-I thought you were trying to quit..."

I put my face in my pillow, "I can't"

He rubbed my back "but you can" he said softly. "you can"

Why he does he think that?! Well maybe because he's never cut himself before, maybe because he doesn't know what it's like, he doesn't know how addicting it is...

I sat up, glaring at him. "I can't quit... YOU CAN'T JUST STOP IT'S HARD I'VE TRIED, I KNOW I CAN'T! THIS IS ME SO ACCEPT IT OR LEAVE"

"Harry, I'm just saying-"

"NO, DONT SAY ANYTHING, IT'S MY LIFE...I CAN DO WHAT EVER I WANT TO MYSELF"

I broke down crying, pulling my knees up to my chest and turning my head away from Louis.

He wrapped his arms around me and kissed the top of my head. "I just want to help you"

I shoved him away "WELL DONT! I'm fine..."

"You're not fine, Harry" he whispered, his voice breaking. I glanced at him, shaking my head. "I can't change...and if you don't want me...I'm ok with that, you deserve better"

He crawled up behind me, gently pulling me into his lap, "I'm not asking you to change, I'm asking you not hurt yourself"

He must really care about me...I never thought anyone would, they care for a while but then when you brake they leave, they don't want anything to do with you, I thought Louis might be the same, I can't say how relieved I am that he's not like everyone else.

"I have to Lou, I'm not good enough...."

Louis cupped my chin in his hands and leaned closer, he brought his lips to mine "you're perfect to me, no matter what"

I have to admit, I got a little teary eyed, no one except the fans have ever called me perfect, I don't see how Louis could think I'm perfect?

cutting isn't perfect...being depressed and suicidal isn't perfect....I'm not perfect.....

"Hazz, I love you...no matter how many scars you have, you are perfect" Louis looked into my eyes and stroked my cheek.

"I don't want you to change or be someone else, all I want is you"

I managed a smile, it was pathetically small, but still a smile. Louis reached under my pillow, where I had stuffed the blades, he took them and dropped them into the trash can beside the bed, "these don't define you, you are worth so much, you're better than this."

I nodded, although I didn't agree one bit, I'm not special, the very few people who think that are wrong.