Chapter 39

Harry's POV

I sat on the floor staring blankly at the wall in front of me, my face was stained with tears and my hands covered in blood. Louis doesn't have to know...like he'd care anyway....he's the only one who can keep me from doing this, he's the only one who makes me feel worth something, he tells me I'm beautiful even with the cuts he says I'm perfect to him even though my body looks horrible...he, seems like he actually cares about ME. Not just if I'm attractive or famous...like alot of people do, they don't know me, they don't know what I'm like, Louis is the only the one who puts up with me, I smile for the fans even when I'm feeling like crap, they believe it, sadly. Louis knows when I'm faking to be happy, he can tell, he'll hug me and tell me everything is "ok" he makes me feel safe, loved.

I promised myself it would be five cuts, well twenty cuts later I'm still sitting here doing it. People just don't understand the amount of self hatred I have for myself, I'm nothing special, all these people and fans think I'm amazing, but sadly, I'm not...I just a depressed guy who cuts himself and barley has enough strength to get through the day, I'm slowly dying day by day, fading away...I wish I was dead honestly.

I brought the blade to my wrist and pressed down, hard. Blood spilled out all over, it ran down my arm and onto the floor, I watched as it formed a small puddle on the floor tiles. I sniffed and wiped my eyes, I took the blade to my wrist again, making another cut, then another and so on. I rolled up my sleeve and made more cuts up my left arm, it was already covered in scars, and many cuts from the day before, I drug the blade across my arm, wincing, the blood dripped down my arm and got all over my finger tips, I swallowed hard and took the blade to my arm again.

I took off my shirt, tossing on the floor, I ran my fingers over the cuts as pathetic sobs escaped my lips, I sniffed and wiped my face with the back of my hand, I want Louis so badly...he has no idea how much I depend on him, I love him to death, he's everything to me, if I didn't have him...I don't think I'd be here.

My phone vibrated and I pulled it out from my pocket, it was Louis, thank God. I switched the phone on and immediately answered his text.

~Louis~Tomlinson~

Hey hazz, I'm sorry I left I'm uh, busy at the moment...be home soon xx

{Harrrry}

It's ok...what's up? And ok see you soon then xxx I want to see you xx

~Louis~Tomlinson~

You ok? And I'm at Starbucks right now, with a friend. What about you? I'm excited to see you too xx

{Harrrry}

Yeah I'm great :) just miss you. Have fun I guess xx bye ttyl

I'm probably gonna regret this..

To: ~Louis~Tomlinson~

Bye I love you

I didn't expect an answer...oh well

To {Harrrry}

Love you too, stay strong xx

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG

ok ok sorry, ahhhhhhhhh he loves meeeeeeee, or maybe he didn't want to hurt my feelings? Or didn't know how to respond....

I sighed, tears filled my eyes, sliding down my cheeks one by one, but this time, I was happy.