Chapter 4

Harry's POV

~~a few hours later~~

I slowly opened my eyes and glanced around, where was I? Oh yeah, the tour bus. I sat up and looked out the window, it was now pitch black outside, I could barely see a thing. I hopped off the edge of my bed and picked up my pillow from the floor. I quickly changed out of my skinny jeans and put on a pair of sweats and a hoodie. I set the outfit I'd taken off on my bed and went into the bathroom, I groaned when I saw my reflection in the mirror. I looked awful, my eyes were all red and puffy, with dark circles underneath. (It was obvious I'd been crying) my hair was a wreck, I looked absolutely horrible. I decided to take a quick shower and then maybe get a bite to eat and find the boys.

I stripped down into my underwear and stood in front of the mirror, I shivered at the thought of what the boys would say if they saw my arms....I had scars up and down both arms and cuts on my wrists. I had stopped for about six months (they never knew a thing) but then when Louis left I started again...thanks alot Lou...I groaned and ran my fingers over my wrist. "Who cares anyways?"

After taking a shower I slipped back into my sweats and hoodie then tidied up the bathroom some. I was still trying to get over the stinging coming from both my wrists, it hurts like hell when you get water down inside fresh cuts. I cringed once more before picking up my towel and draping it over the side if the tub, water dripped all over the floor. I snickered at the thought of what Liam's reaction might be if he saw the mess I'd made in here. He absolutely hates messy bathrooms more than anything, he always says we need to learn to pick up after ourselves. Zayn and I try but with Louis, and mostly Niall it goes in one ear and our the other. They could care less about picking up after themselves. After I finished putting away my shampoo and conditioner I switched off the light and wandered out into my bedroom. I could hear the boys talking on the other side of the door, I know it's nosey to ease drop on people's conversations but I pressed my ear to the door and listened to what they were saying.

Zayn: "aw man Niall! get your own chips! these ones are mine!"

Niall: "c'mon I've shared mine with you before"

Zayn: "yeah, ONCE"

Liam: "boys please that's enough. What were you saying Louis?"

Louis: "I was trying to say, has everything been ok between you guys lately?"

Liam: "yeah, why?"

~~Pause~~

Louis:"well it's just...earlier I tried to talk to Harry and-"

Niall: "oh boy hahaha how'd that go?"

Louis: "not very good...is he mad at me or something? I tried to talk him and he brushed me off, he got extremely mad and walked off"

"Liam: really? Because he did the exact same thing to me earlier"

They continued speaking about me until I'd heard enough, I was upset before but now I was enraged. How dare they talk about me behind my back?! Ok ok it's not like they meant any harm but I'm fine! Why can't they accept that?

I angrily shoved the door open and ignored their "hi" 's and stomped over to the refrigerator. I yanked it open and grabbed an apple. I flopped on a chair and gave them all a dirty look. "What's the matter?" Liam asked, oblivious to the fact that I was upset with them. I turned my head and took a bite from my apple. They all stared at me strangely before starting up their conversation again, but changing the topic sense I'd walked in. How could they talk about me though? It's nothing too serious but I'd like to know do they do this all of the time? But with more personal things? I can only imagine the stuff Niall says, I've learned to never tell him my secrets he's someone you CANNOT trust, and I had to learn the hard way. Once, I told him I "liked" someone and that he had to promise not to tell. Well he promised and then the next day it's all over the Internet. He said he only told one person, well that "one person" must have told everyone they came in contact with because everywhere I went I had people asking if it was true I liked someone and if we were going out. Why is my personal life any of his concern? I sighed finishing up my apple and then throwing it in the trash can. "I'm tired" Niall whined, yawning and stretching a bit. "Me too" Zayn added with a nod. "Can we stop at a hotel?" Niall pouted "I hate sleeping on bunk beds all the time" Liam said he'd go ask Paul if it'd be ok to crash at a hotel for the night. When he returned he said it was ok but we had to leave first thing in the morning because we had a signing.

~~At the hotel~~

"Shhhhh! Niall you'll wake everyone up with your screaming!" Liam yell:whispered. Niall giggled and covered his mouth, when he gets tired let me tell you, it's not a pretty sight. He's so obnoxious it's not even amusing. "I call this room!" Zayn shouted, taking out his card and scanning the door, "sorry Liam you're stuck with him" Zayn said poking his head out before shutting the door. Liam groaned as Niall laughed evilly, one thing about Niall is when he knows he's getting on your nerves he'll do anything and I mean anything possible to make the situation worse. He loves teasing us anyway and when he's tired it's like 100000 times worse. Liam sighed and unlocked the door, he said "good night" and gave me and Louis a weak smile. "Good luck" Louis laughed, waving. Niall grabbed his suitcase and charged into the room screaming "woooohoooooo" I snickered and turned my attention to Louis, who rolled his eyes. "I guess it's just you and me curly" Louis smirked reaching up and patting me on the head, I stuck out my tongue and ran my fingers through my hair trying to smooth it back into place. We went into our room and Louis ran and flopped on the bed, causing a few pillows to fall on the floor. I looked at him and giggled and then went into the bathroom. I took my suitcase along with me and the closed the door behind me. I opened my shaving kit and took my blade out of the pocket of my sweat pants, I don't know why I hadn't left it in the van. Normally I don't keep it in my pocket when we travel it's usually kept with my stuff. I liked taking it with me when we traveled, I know this sounds bad but it makes me feel oddly secure at times....I'm messed up.

I stuffed the blade into my shaving kit and zipped it up, then put it in my suitcase.

I opened the door and entered the bedroom, I found Louis who was fast asleep, I knew I wouldn't be able to fall asleep though, my mind doesn't let me sleep, I think too much....I wanted to wake up Louis so I wouldn't be lonely but he gets reallllly grumpy if awoken from sleep, so I left him alone. I climbed into bed and shut my eyes, I just want some sleep that's all I'm asking for.

So does it sound good so far? :3