《The Nanny》Chapter Twenty Six

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Unlove me, I dare you.

-Seeker

I softly knock on his door. I can't believe I am actually doing this. On my way here, I think I had a mild panic attack, once I think even twice. I can literally hear my heartbeat, loud and clear. My nerves distressed and my cheeks burning hot, oh my...

"Come in," He instructed. I opened the door, before I walked in, I took a deep breath in and exhaled. Slowly walked in, listening to the sound of my footsteps echoing throughout his office. Why does everything feel so intensified? I briefly shut my eyes and when I turned to close the door. Oh this is a bad idea. I turned and saw him, staring out the window, he looked back at me for a moment and smiled and turned away. Oh his smile. Hey Amal get it together!

"Naveed, I came to see you and well tell you something. I have been feeling something I am sure you've felt once in your lifetime," I began talking, but he still didn't turn around to face me. I guess that's good, it will make this easier. So I continued...

"Naveed I like you," I confessed, the words leaving my mouth and immediately after, the weight on my chest vaporized. I sighed. I tried to imagine his reaction but nothing came in mind, he's not predictable, unlike me. He's dynamic and yet so familiar. Still he didn't react or say anything, maybe he was processing it all. I should give him time. "I couldn't keep it to myself any longer. But if you don't feel..." He finally turned around, walked away from his desk and looked at his phone and put it in his pocket. He removed the bud(AirPod) from his right ear and placed it on his table. My mouth slightly parted, I felt something in my heart, I didn't know how to explain. It was aching yet sighing in relief, two paradoxes existing at the same time. I was in between.

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"Amal were you saying something? I am so sorry, Mariam called me..." I cut him off and spoke:

"No it's fine. I was actually just asking how you were doing, and telling you that I might be leaving for Milan in a few weeks time." His eyes light up and he walks towards me, standing a mere a inch away, his cologne so very distinct.

"Amal that's amazing. I am happy for you," He said, his tone sincere. " I know how much you were looking forward to do what you love."

If he only knew how much I was really looking forward to him knowing and my heart needs him to know, but yet it's fighting agains my ability to confess yet again. I just don't understand, my gaze shifts momentarily from his eyes. This is unbearable...

"Thank you. I'll see you around," I said and walked out of his office. Breathing out in and in, thoughts all over, trying to hold in my tears. I rushed out of the hospital, rushing through the hallways, unaware of the things that are happening around me, I just needed to escape.

I wonder why she left so quickly. Maybe she's in a hurry to go somewhere.

When Amal walked in, Mariam called me, and I picked up immediately. The court date has been set and she was calling me to tell me about it. I was so keen to the things she spoke, I barely heard Amal in the background. All I heard was that she needed to tell me something... I mean I suppose she already has, her leaving for Milan. I am happy for her, she's pretty talented. I know she'll be the best of the best. Whatever she does, she does with grace and her whole self. I have seen it before, even if she's just baking. I guess that's why I L... I mean that's what makes her Mal.

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I need to get to back to work.

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