"Assalam Alaykum dad," I spoke over with phone, with a low tone.

"Waalikum salam Amal," He replied, monotonously. I can't hide the fact that I miss the excitement in my fathers voice, when he would call and speak enthusiastically and crack dad jokes.

"How have you been?" I asked.

"Alhamduliah," He replied, his persistent response. Every single time.

"How's work?" He asked, trying to make small talk.

"It's going well." I looked outside the window and started wondering off. Come to think of it, we have never talked about the car accident and come to terms with it as a family. As father and daughter. It is painful, I see how bringing it would be like re-opening old wounds just to stare at it, because I certainly wouldn't know what to say, or where to begin.

"Have you talked to Imad recently?" He asked.

"No." I sigh. "Dad do you know Uncle Adel?" I change the subject. He was silent for a while before he replied.

"Yes he's my cousin. Why do you ask?"

"I met his daughter Zara. Why have you never mentioned him?"

"I have many cousins Amal. Do you expect me to mention all of them? Don't bring this up again," He replied, his voice getting higher and tone more stern. I apologized.

"Goodbye. Take care," He said and hang up the call.

I walk around the house. Trying to do the exercises Naya showed me, during the therapy sessions. It helped to an extent, but I still felt a weight on my heart. I went to my bedroom, took out my mums old wooden jewelry box from the closet. I placed it on the dressing table and opened it. The jewelry inside all belonged to her, some gifted from my father and some from Anisa and I.

I took out the gold heart lock, that she wore everyday. Inside was a picture of my father, me and my sister and Imad. I started thinking about her, and all the memories flooded my mind. I miss her... Tears streamed down my cheeks.

There was a loud, seemingly hurried knock at the door. I quickly wiped my tears and closed the jewelry box and rushed to the door. When I opened the door, Jamal stood there holding a bouquet of roses and a box of chocolate. I was shocked, speechless and caught completely off guard that I had no idea of how to act or react. I just stood there, looking at him. Making up a million other reasons on why he was standing at my door, all nervous and jittery, to avoid looking into the obvious reason why he is here.

"Amal I can explain." I looked at the flowers and chocolate once more and then looked at him. "Can I come in?" He asked. I nodded approvingly and opened the door wider, so he could enter. I closed the door, as I turned around - I see Jamal pacing in the living room.

"I should have texted. I know. But I wanted to surprise you. So surprise." He looked at me, holding up the flowers and the box of chocolates. "You don't even like surprises. I am so stupid."

"Jamal what are you doing here?" I spoke as I walked towards him.

"This isn't appropriate. I know." He kept the flowers and the box of chocolates on the glass coffee table. He's nervous, Jamal was sweating and staring at the floor, probably thinking. He then strides towards me, and looks at me before he spoke. Staring into each other's eyes - clearly he is scared of something and worried.

"The day you didn't show up at the restaurant. I was intending to propose..."

"You were going to propose?" My eyes widen and voice becomes shrill.

"No hear me out. I wasn't going to propose. I mean I was going to propose something. I am not good at this." His gaze shifts to the floor, probably recollecting his thoughts to form the right sentence or phrase. He looks back at me and continues to speak. "I was going to ask you if you were looking into marriage. Because I am, and I think I want to marry you." My heart drops, and my heart beat quickens. Oh no... I don't know how to handle this situations. No no.

"You think you want to marry me?" I raise my eyebrow and tighten my lips.

"Yes I think because I am not sure if that's what you want."

"This is so unexpected. You've never mentioned this when we text, not even hinted. I don't know what to say."

"I felt it was a conversation best had face to face. So here I am."

"So you want to marry me?" I ask him and started laughing. I know it wasn't the best response, but I wasn't good at this, whatever this is.

"It's funny I guess." He ruffled his hair, and shyly walked away.

"No it's not funny. It's a serious matter. I just don't know how to.. what to say. You've definitely surprised me."

"Yah that was the plan. I guess it worked." He spoke, his back facing me. He sighs. "Not a good plan though."

"I haven't really thought about marriage, to be honest. And with everything that has happened, I don't know if it's something I am ready for."

"Don't you want someone to always be there for you and just love you unconditionally." I have never seen this side of Jamal before, it was a shock but in a good way.

"Is that what you want? If it is. I don't think I am capable..."

"Well you can't be sure unless you try," he cut me off and spoke, while turning around to look at me.

"Why me?"

"I was scared you'd ask that." He said.

"Because you have no reasons."

"No because I have so many, I wouldn't know where to begin." My stomach felt funny, and my heart beat escalated yet was calm at the same time?! I have never felt this way before.

"I don't know what to say."

"Nothing just yet. I wanted you to hear me out, and you can take your time and think about it." He said, walking towards me. "Whatever your response I will respect it." He stood for a moment before he walked past me and left. "Goodnight."

...

"What should I do?"

"Say yes of course." Rayana said excitedly. Of course she would advise me to agree, she's in love and about to get married.

"I am serious Rayana," I spoke in a dire tone.

"And I am serious as well. Why not? He's a good man, from what you've told me. But if you are not ready for marriage you shouldn't rush into it."

"Not that I am not ready. Just that I haven't thought about it."

"Well think about it, pray on it and decide. I just want you to be happy, that's all. You deserve so much of it, no matter what form it comes in, as long as it is happiness you deserve it the most," She spoke and smiled.

"I will," I replied. "And thank you."

"You're welcome," she replied. "I can't believe he came with flowers and chocolates, that's so cheesy and cute."

"I suppose. I was really thrown by his unexpected visit."

"Understandable."

"I wish my mum was here," I said lowly. Rayana held my hand, offering solace.