"Amal!" I yelled, at the top of my lungs.

"Naam mama," She replies, as she hops down the stairs, her hand on the wooden staircase rail for support.

"Be careful," I said, as I watched her hop on the stairs as she came down.

"I am a big girl," she says to me and jumps off the last step to the floor. I kneel down on my knees and kiss her on her forehead and placed my palms on either side of her cheeks.

"Hayati, I love you so much and I just don't want you to get hurt on your birthday," I told her.

"Okay mama," she said in her sweet-gentle voice and glanced to her hands. "When is baba coming? He promised he would be here for my birthday." I looked at her and hugged her tightly. Ahmed promised he would be here, he promised our little girls that he would there for their birthday. The anticipation is killing everyone, I just hope he makes it here in time. He's been away in Japan for three weeks, for business. I have been trying to call him all morning, but there's no answer. I just hope its because he's already on the plane.

"Hayati... baba is going to be late. But I am sure he will be here," I told her, to assure her. "Now where's that beautiful smile of yours," I told her and started tickling her.

"Hahaha," she started laughing hysterically. "Stop hahaha mama, haha." I smiled and stood up. I held her hand and walked with her towards the backdoor that lead to the garden. The garden is where all the fun takes place, the kids playhouse is outside along with the

swings.

"Anisa! Imad! Come inside now, lunch is ready," I said, as I stood by the door. They raced passed me, into the house. Amal joined them as well racing behind them, all racing towards the kitchen. I smiled and closed the door behind me.

"Wash your hands nicely," I said as I walked into the kitchen. I watched them as they took turns to wash their hands. I carried the bowl of greens, into the dinning room. Everything was set.

"What's for lunch mama?" Anisa asked as she sat on the chair, ready to eat. "Yay pasta!" She squealed with excitement, when she inspected the dinning table. Imad and Amal, walked into the dinning room after a few moments. They sat at their places and I served them the food. I walked out of the dinning room and headed to the living room.

"Claire(the house-maid)," I called out her name, as I entered the living room.

"Yes ma'am," She answered.

"Are you done with the balloons?" I asked her. "Do you need any help?"

"I am almost done, no ma'am I am fine. Thank you," She spoke in her usual polite manner. I take a look around, the living room is filled with pale pink and purple balloons, the happy birthday banner is already up, the number balloon and so is the letter balloons spelling out : Anisa & Amal. I helped Claire with the balloons before I went to make lunch.

"Okay great," I said and smiled. "The guest will be arriving at 4:30 pm. All the snacks are ready, except for the cake that will be delivered at 3:00. Oh and the goodie bags have arrived. At 3:45 start arranging the goodie bags on the table and the food," I instructed. I went back to the living room, only to find no one by the dinning table. I go upstairs to the play room, there's no one there too.

I knocked on Imad's bedroom door, and entered he wasn't there. I went into the girls room and saw the girls on one bed whispering to each other, and Imad on the other bed playing games on his IPad.

"Hmm what's going on," I asked, while standing at the door.

"Nothing mama," The girls said simultaneously.

"Imad," I said his name and he looked at me.

"Hey! Don't look at me. I am just playing on my IPad," He replied.

"Did everyone finish their greens?" I asked in a stern voice.

"I did," Amal raised her hand. Anisa kept quiet.

"Yeah I did," Imad said and briefly glanced at Anisa.

"Anisa," I said her name

"No mum I didn't finish my greens," She admitted.

"Thank you for being honest with me," I told her. "Tomorrow you'll have to eat more greens, to make up for the ones you didn't eat today,"

"But mama!" She whined, and pouted. Aw she's an angle, but I being a parent I have to be immune to her cuteness. Or otherwise, they would be having Macdonalds everyday.

"You know the rules," I said and walked away. I went into my bedroom and sat on the edge of the bed. I took my phone that was on the bedpost, and texted Ahmed. Hoping he will eventually reply to my messages. Where are you Ahmed? I lay down on the bed and decided to text Hudaa, greeting her.

She's probably busy now. Given the time difference, she's probably having dinner. I closed my eyes and reset for a while. So much has changed, I can't believe it's been five years. My babies are turning four years old. And Imad is eleven, oh I can't believe how much time has passed. He's eleven years old. Subhanallah.

Ahmed and I decided to move to London, after his mum died. Madam Samia died after a year later after the twins were born. I am glad she got to hold her grandchildren. Ahmed completely shut off after her death, couldn't eat or drink nor sleep well. Ahmed felt it was best to move to another place, so we had to make a home in London. We moved in when the twins were three years old. The house I was to design, our home — is based in California. I tried to made it work, gave in my ideas and made some blueprints. But it's on hold for now.

For a while it wasn't the same between us - Ahmed and I. The talks were brief and the silence prolonged. He started opening up to me after some time... But he never let his sorrows affect his relationship with his children, never. He was always there for them, no matter the pain he was feeling.

Ahmed has been gone for three weeks, the longest trip he's ever been on. I miss him so much, and I know the kids miss him just as much. Ahmed is great with the kids, he actually attends the girls tea parties and plays video games for an hour with Imad. And on every Sunday, we go for a picnic at the park — as a family. But we only go when we are all together. I miss my husband so much. I miss his soothing voice and warm hugs. When he's away I have to take up his roles in the house as well.

Take the kids to school, help out with homework (it's so much easier when he's helping Imad and I help the twins - team work). Grocery shopping is so much more fun when he's around, making up games for the kids to play so they don't get bored. We tried our best to make a normal life for our children and not to spoil them, no matter how tempting it may be.

"Mama," I heard Anisa call out, as she slowly pushed the door open. I sat upright and watched her walk to me.

"What's wrong princess?" I asked her.

"I don't want to have a party anymore," She said, in a low tone. Her brown-eyes lingering with tears.

"Aw come here." I opened my arms, to hug her. She climbed on the bed and sat on my laps, I hugged and stroked her hair.

"Why don't you want to have party?" I asked her.

"Baba isn't here. He promised..." She said and started crying.

"Anisa don't cry, he's going to come. He'll just be late that's all," I told her. Trying to stop her from crying. "Has baba ever broken a promise?" I asked her.

"No," she replies.

"Then he's going to be here," I told her and kissed her forehead. "Besides Abby's mum told me that Abby choose for you and your sister a really nice gift."

"Really?" She looked at me.

"Yeah really," I said and wiped her tears. "I love you so much my baby."

"I am not a baby anymore. I am a big girl," She said, and got off the bed.

"Yes, yes you are," I told her and smiled. Anisa ran out of the room. I still remember when I found out I was going to have twins. The look on Ahmed's face was priceless, he was in shook, speechless. But I was worried and scared, having two baby required double the effort, but he reassured me that he'd be by my side through it all. And he was, he still is. My partner, my love. Tears streamed down my cheeks, I quickly wiped them away. I look at the clock on the wall, it's almost 3:00 pm. I have to get the girls ready, I don't even know what I am wearing.

I rush out my bedroom and go into the girls bedroom. "Imad go get ready please," I told him. He grunts as he gets off the bed.

"Amal go and take a shower," I told her. I opened the closet, and took out their outfits for the party. Two beautiful white, fluffy dresses. They insisted on matching. "Anisa you'll shower after Amal," I said, as I started looking for the hair pins on the dressing table.

"Yes mama," she replied.

I went back downstairs and saw Claire walking into the living room, carrying the goodie bags. Before I even got to the last step, I turned back and went back back upstairs. Everything seemed to be in order. I headed to girls room, they were in their bath robes. I started with Anisa, and made her hair into a bun, same with Amal. I helped them dress up, into their beautiful gowns and instructed and pleaded not to dirty their dresses. They rushed to the play room and started playing pretend, they hosted a tea party where all their dolls were invited.

I checked on Imad, who was already ready, he sat on his bed reading a book. "Imad are you okay? Do you need anything?" I asked, concerned. I've noticed he hasn't been himself lately.

"I miss Uncle Ahmed," He said. As do I. I approached him, and sat besides him on the bed and I hug him.

"He'll be here. Don't worry," I told him, still hugging him.

"Are you sure that's all on your mind."

"I don't want to play soccer any more," He says.

"Why is that? I thought you loved playing soccer," I spoke concerned.

"I did, but now I love swimming. Coach Mason says with enough training I could even go to the olympics. I am already the fastest in my class," He spoke, his eyes gleaming with excitement.

"The olympics, that's amazing. And it's totally okay if you don't want to do soccer anymore. As long as your doing what you love," I told him and kissed him on his forehead. "You're going to be the best!"

"Thank you," he said. I smiled and got off the bed, and walked out of his room. I went to my room, and walked straight to the bathroom for a shower. After the shower, I got dressed. Wearing a light-colored pink evening dress, embroidered with flowers and a bird. I combed my hair and did my everyday makeup —simple and neutral. Though instead of applying lip gloss, I applied red lipstick. I looked at the ring on my finger, missing Ahmed even more now. Missing his charming smile, warm hugs and safe hands.

...

The party began a little late than expected. Amal and Anisa made the most of the sweets. Imad played tag with some of his friends that attended the party, it felt like the room was spinning with all the children around. Some of the parents came as well, sitting in the corners probably conversing about everything I did wrong. I haven't made any new friends in London, Hudaa has. She talks non stop about them. Hudaa has a son called Jamal, he's adorable. Hudaa and I made a pact to always visit each other during summer holidays, alternating each year one who will visit the other. Last year we went to Dubai, this year Hudaa and her family are coming. I can't wait!

Hudaa helped me plan the girls birthday, I tried my very best to make everything perfect for my two angels. It feels like just yesterday, when I was holding them in my arms - holding their tiny little hands scared I'd harm them and kissing their soft cheeks. I remember whispering to them everyday, of how much I love them and always will.

Amal and Anisa aren't identical twins, they are fraternal twins that both have hazel orbs just like their father. They love to match sometimes, actually most of the time. Ahmed loves his little girls, would do anything for them. When he held them for the very first time, I remember the smile on his face. Imad was hopping to have a little brother, though he won't admit to enjoying Amal and Anisa's company, I know he does and loves them. They lighten up a room with their cheerful selves.

The two tiered cake was cut, everybody that was present sang the Happy Birthday song. The girls cut the cake with the help of Imad, it was the cutest sight. I recorded the whole thing.

Later at night after the party, the girls opened their gifts after taking a bath. They were so excited and joyful, and mashallah they got many gifts. But right before they went to sleep, as I tucked them in - they told me how sad they were because Ahmed didn't make it on time for the birthday party. I tried to make them feel better about the situation.

I went to my bedroom and slept on the bed, my feet hurt and I have a headache. It's been a long and busy day. Thank goodness for the hot shower, it helps with easing my mind and body. I wore my cosy pajamas and got into bed. I looked through my messages, there was no reply from Ahmed but a few from Hudaa. It wasn't long till I fall asleep. I could barely keep my eyes open.

I wake up in the middle of the night, looked at my phone screen it's about 12:45 o'clock. I got out of bed, thirsty as ever. I checked on the girls first and than Imad, all fast asleep. I go down the stairs, rubbing my eyes, trying to fully awaken. Before I switch on the light in the hallway, I see a light at the very end coming from the office. The light crept beneath the door. I walked slowly, consciously making duas to strengthen my heart. I was sacred, but I had to be brave. I got to the door and slowly opened the door, turning the door knob as slow as possible.

I push the door open, only to see Ahmed sitting on the Sofa. He turned his head swiftly to look at me, couldn't help but notice how rough he looks. I run to him and hug him while sitting on his laps. His home and that's that mattered, I thought. I did not want to stop hugging him, I wanted to hold him for as long I could, I've missed him so much. So very much. Ahmed puts his hand on my waist, "Let me see you," He spoke in a gruff tone.

"No," I reply stubbornly.

"Please Layla. I've missed you," He pleads, putting his other hand on my waist. Holding me. I look at him, my arms around his neck.

"I've missed you too," I tell him and smile. I consider his unshaven look, it doesn't look too bad. I than look into his eyes and notice how sad he appears to be. "What's wrong?" I ask him and kiss him on his forehead.

"I missed my children's birthday party," He admits. "And for what? A stupid business deal!"

"It's okay my love, it's one birthday you've missed. There's so many more to come, the important thing is that now you're here."

"You're just trying to make me feel better about myself," He says.

"And what's wrong with that?" I asked him. "You are an amazing father, they know it and I know it, but it looks like you've forgotten."

"I love you," He said, and kissed me.

"I love you too," I replied. Once we stopped.

"You think the girls will forgive me for breaking a promise?"

"I am sure they will, they love you. I think even more than me-"

"No that's not true," He interjected.

"Well you're not the one insisting on eating vegetables," I told him.

"Well in that case... But I don't believe it. All the girls talk about is you when you're not around, what you say and what you do," Ahmed says.

"Hmm."

"They make me fall in love with you all the time," He said.

"That must be difficult."

"To love you over and over again? Never!" Ahmed says, and kisses me on the cheek. "A blessing really."

I stood up and helped him up, we made our way upstairs. I even forgot why I came downstairs in the first place. We laid on the bed — wide awake talking and cuddling. I am so glad he's home, I keep on thinking. Not too long, in the midst our conversation about his trip and the things he missed, Ahmed falls asleep. I stare at him for a while, till sleep took over.

In the morning, I awoke to loud squeals. I jerked up, and start to yawn. Amal and Anisa get on the bed and jump on their father. "Baba!" They both say simultaneously. My angles are capable of giving mini heart attacks. But I love them still. Ahmed groans, as he wakes up from his sleep, he hugs the girls his eyes still shut. "Baba stop! Ahaha," Amal laughs and says, still trapped in his hug.

Imad joins later on, he runs towards the bed and gets on. He joins the group hug and starts laughing hysterically. I look at them and smile, and I think, my family is complete. I am so grateful for them , Alhamdulilah. I am truly blessed to have four "crazies", loving and wonderful people in my life. I soon joined the group hug and was squished in. This is us.