I couldn't even sleep at night.

I can't.

My mind always puts images that I don't want, and don't need to be reminded of.

I didn't let go of Jaxon. I didn't care if he was wet. I didn't even care he was naked. I just needed him next to me.

I'm still holding tightly to him. He's softly snoring with his arm loosely around my shoulders.

I started to trace each of his tattoos with the little light that the moon gave.

I don't know why, but I feel like I have to be with him. Give him everything that I can give.

I know. I use to be like 'get away from me' 'don't touch me.' But now after what had happen to me, Jaxon just makes me feel safe.

I don't know how to explain it, but I just need to be next to him.

It's two in the morning and I still can't sleep. My body wants to go asleep but my mind can't. I snuggle up against his chest and just listening to his steady heart. I covered his lower half with the blanket but I have my legs tangled with his. I start to trace his jaw line then ran my hand through his hair. I start to trace his lips then went down his neck and started tracing the ink.

I untangled my legs from him and slowly climbed out of bed. I made my way in the kitchen and made myself and cup of coffee. I added some creamer and alittle bit of sugar because I wanted to taste the coffee. I sat down on the island and had the oven light on. I sipped some coffee and looked at the clock.2:37am.

I drank the coffee slowly before it burns me. My mind started to wonder off to how me and Jaxon met.

I still can't believe I accused him for bumping into me. He was putting on his sweater. I so fûckin dumb sometimes. Wait. Scratch that. I'm always dumb. I can't even take care of myself.

Then my mind went off to the shoot out and how he came to my apartment and I held a knife on his stomach.

Damn. I must look like a crazy person. Then it went off to the gang house where I knocked him out the first time. Then it went off to where we had our moment on the couch.

My head turn towards the couch and I felt my ears and cheeks heat up. I quickly looked away and continued to drink my coffee.

Then it went off to me and Greyson.

Greyson.

My eyes grew wider. I bet he's so worry! Oh my gosh! I can't believe I didn't call him and tell him I'm safe now. I quickly placed the cup on the island and hurried off up stairs and towards Jaxons phone.

I dialed his number and it rung three times.

"H-Hello?" His voice sounded scared but tried.

"Greyson?"

The line went silent and I heard him breathe harder.

"J-Jordan?"

"Yes. It's me Jordan."

"Jordan! Are you okay?! And you hurt!? Where are you!? Are-" he kept asking all kinds of questions and all the sleep in his voice went away.

"Greyson-Greyson. I'm fine. I'm at Jaxons. He came and found me. And no I'm not hurt." Physically.

Except for my leg and the bruises, but they can't compare to me mentally.

"Oh thank GOD! I was looking for you for weeks! I called the police and they said the couldn't do anything because they didn't have clues to find you! Ugh! I swear I wanted to slap them and kill them!"

I ended up on the couch and curled up to the couches arm.

"I'm glad to hear that you never gave up on me too."

"What! Are you kidding me!? I would never give up on you! Don't ever think about that! You're my main B! I don't know what I would do with out you!"

I smiled at the thought of him getting all worked up at the officers. I hear him sit up and I hear him shuffle around on his bed.

"No. I'm fine. I just can't sleep without getting nightmares about what happen." I said while my voice got small at the end.

The line went silent again till he broke it.

"W-Want to talk about it?"

Now it was my turn to be silent.

"It might help with helping you to go back to sleep."

I sighed deeply. "Well...umm. W-When they drugged me...they...they tied me to a chair and would come in out and would talk to me but...but later on they tied me onto the ceiling and they stripped me till I was just in my bra and panties. They...They touched me in places that I didn't like Greyson. I...I couldn't do anything but let it happen. They ra...raped...they raped me Greyson. And I couldn't do anything. Different men raped me every night. It didn't matter to them if I screamed and thrashed around just for them to stop. Later on they got fed up with me screaming and moving around so they tapped my mouth shut and tied me down on the bed till I soon on just laid there and let them do anything. I-I just can't get those memories out of my head! No matter how much I try I just can't get rid of them. I have a scar on my thigh to remind me of what happen Greyson!" I didn't know I was crying till I started to hiccup and my face was dripping tears.

The line was silent and all you can hear out my sobs and me sniffing.

"I just want it to stop." I said through my sob.

"I-I'm so sorry Jordan." He whispered.

I continued to cry and I closed my eyes but I gasped and open my eyes when I felt a hand on my wrist and pulled the phone out of my grasp.

I look up through my blurry eyes and I see Jaxon standing there with boxers on in front of me.

"Bye Greyson." He said then he clicked his phone off.

I continued to sob because I didn't know how long he's been there. I wrap my arms around my self and buried my face in my knees. I felt the couch dip and then I felt his strong arms wrap around me and pulled me into his chest.

I continued to cry into his chest while he was telling me soothing words in my ears while rubbing my arms and my back.

"I would never let you get hurt again Jordan. I promise." He whispered.

******