-

I stared at my sleepy appearance in my room's mirror and felt like crying.

I gained some weight.

I swear I don't remember my tummy and my thighs looking like this a week ago. My stomach used to be flatter. My thighs weren't this wide.

My heart clenched and I quickly stepped away from the mirror so I couldn't look at my reflection anymore; I have fifteen minutes till my online class starts and I don't want my eyes to be all red and puffy when I switch my camera on.

I'll just need to go back to cutting my intake of food, I guess.

It'll all be alright.

I changed to a baggier shirt to wear over my pajama pants and brushed my hair so I could bring the locks closer to the edge of my cheeks.

After I was done doing all that, I twisted my doorknob and walked out of my room. I heard the sound of heavy breaths and music blaring from Blake's room as I was walking down the hallway and I'm guessing Blake was still doing his morning workout.

I paused when I was in the kitchen and I looked at Cole, who had his sweaty back to me as he took two pills into his mouth and gulped down a glass of cold water. I think he had been doing his workouts too because of his sweaty appearance- wait, why was he taking pills?

"Good morning," I said to make my presence known so I don't look creepy.

Cole quickly turned around to face me, his face was a bit yellow. I frowned at him as he gave me his usual big smile, "Morning, Oliver~"

"Are you alright?" I asked him, nodding my head towards the bottle of pills in his hand.

He nodded his head and put the pills back in the medicine cabinet. "Yeah, I'm just nauseous and my he- it's nothing. Hopefully not the virus..." He chuckled.

I walked over to the fridge, "Do you think it's the same reason you got sick the other day? Same feeling?"

"I honestly don't kn- Fuck!" I turned around to see his face and noticed it held a pained expression.

"What's wrong?" I said worriedly.

"I shouldn't have eaten the fucking expired-" He stopped talking when we saw Blake walk in. He was wearing nothing but black shorts. His hair was disheveled and his shirtless chest was glistening in sweat.

Yep, he had just finished working out.

I was about to say good morning to him but I closed my lips when we saw him leave the kitchen with a hard expression after grabbing a bottle of water, not acknowledging our presence in the kitchen.

I turned to look at Cole and saw him heading out too, giving me a smile before leaving the kitchen.

What was that about?

Why didn't Blake say good morning like he usually does every day?

He didn't spare me a look while my heart was racing at the thought of last night.

Last night.

He's regretting last night...

His mood's sour because of it.

Goddamn it why did I kiss him?

He kissed you.

And he regrets it.

My heart ached and I shook my head.

I don't want him to regret it...

I looked down at the floor and felt my chest get attacked by a sudden sad feeling. I tried to shake the thoughts away as I grabbed a quick snack to eat and headed back to my room to get ready for my class.

Cole walked into my room a few hours later- half-naked, of course, while I was in the middle of my biology lesson and my stomach dropped when I heard Lisa, the girl who was presenting, gasp and stop talking.

I quickly turned my camera off and my cheeks heated up as I turned to look at Cole. He gave me a wide smile and eyed my blushed face. "What?"

"Knock?" I said in a rushed voice.

"Wuh?" He looked confused.

"Why didn't you knock?" The whole class probably thinks- UGH.

"The door was open... are you blushing? Aww-"

"Shut up," I said while he made kissy faces at me as if I were a child. "What do you want?"

He stopped making stupid faces. "Pen... pleasee,"

I sighed as he walked over to where I was sitting at my desk. "Sorry," he said as I looked for a pen to give him.

I looked up at him as he leaned against my desk. "What?"

"For not knocking- even though the door was open..." He just doesn't stop smiling, does he?

"It's alright. Here," I gave him two pens the same second Mr. Garcia asked me to turn my camera on.

"Thank you~" He ruffled my hair and walked out, closing the door behind him.

I let out a breath, "No problem," I said in a low tone before turning my stupid camera on.

A few hours later, after I was done with all my classes, I stood up and stretched my limbs before yawning and plopping over my bed; I was exhausted, for some reason.

I pulled out my phone and decided to call Luke since I haven't talked to him today and I think he doesn't have any classes at the moment so he would be free.

I tapped his name on the 'contacts list' and waited for him to pick the phone up.

"Munchkin?" He picked up after the second ring.

"Hey," I said over the phone, I just realized that I sounded a bit tired.

"Hey, what's up? Did you just finish your online classes?" I heard shuffling from his side of the phone.

"Mhmm, are you busy?"

"Nah, I just finished taking a nap, I have a class in a few minutes though. How are you?"

I told him about online schooling and how annoying everything is and continued to talk to him about random stuff for a few minutes while he chuckled and replied every few seconds. I laughed along with him over something and was about to ask him when his class starts but stopped when I felt my phone buzz, indicating I received a notification.

I moved my phone from my ear so I could check the notification from the top of the screen before it disappears.

@ODxIsxAxWhore tagged you in a post.

Confusion knit over my face and I didn't have time to press over the notification before it was gone. "Okay Munchkin, I think I gotta go get ready for my class now, call you later?"

"Uh- Yeah, sure. Love you," I replied to Luke. I was still really confused by that notification and I wanted to check it out.

"Love you, bye." I was quick to open the Instagram app on my phone right after the line cut off. More notifications started popping up that said:

@*** commented on a post you're tagged in.

I checked my notifications and my eyebrows knit again as I saw loads of stuff. I pressed onto the first notification, the one that said I was tagged in a post by @ODxIsxAxWhore, and my heart dropped when I saw the profile picture.

It was a picture of me.

An edited one, actually... and it had the word SLUT plastered over it.

I checked the post that I was tagged in and my breathing hitched when I saw screenshots of Cole's half-naked figure behind my blushing face as he entered my room this morning. Another screenshot was one that had a shirtless Blake behind me from when he was getting a cup of water yesterday in the kitchen.

Both of their hair was messy in the pictures and it totally looked like something else... especially since my face was bright red from embarrassment in some of the pictures and it looked like I was getting caught doing something bad.

I looked at the caption and my heart dropped into my stomach.

"Told you she was fucking both at the same time, I wonder if they both know... what a fat slut."

I tapped on the comments and saw so many of them from different accounts.

"Omg, such a whore."

"DURING LOCKDOWN? How? Oh my god! She really is a slut,"

"Luke Davis's sister? Who would have known."

"Wait she's the hot piece of ass's sister? What a shame,"

"So she's the one with dead parents?"

"How did you get these pictures? Isn't that creepy?"

"Who told you she was fucking them?"

"Ew, why would they fuck HER out of all girls?"

"Was that why Blake defended her after beating the shit out of Tuffin?"

"Yeah, I heard Anderson beat him up after that too..."

"This is bullshit, there's no sign of them fucking"

"WDYM? They're literally half-naked and she looks like a slut caught in the act,"

I stopped scrolling when I saw a few teardrops land on my phone's screen. My breathing hitched again and I felt panic rise in much chest.

What was that account?

How di- I can't focus. I can't breathe.

My heart was beating so quickly as I moved my bed cover away from me and tried to stand up. My knees gave out and my breathing stopped as I collapsed to the floor.

No. No. No.

I can't breathe.

I tried taking in a breath as my chest clenched but I couldn't. I couldn't breathe.

I'm going to die.

I felt my body start to shake and I was choking for air.

I could almost hear the loud and rapid beating of my heart through my two ears. My body shook harder and I tried calming myself down.

I'm going to die.

I looked around me through glassy eyes and felt the gallons of tears travel down my face as I moved my head to count the things in my room.

Desk. Chair. Mirror. Bed. Pillows. Carpet- Can't breathe.

I shut my eyes close and tried to focus on my breathing.

In...

Out...

In...

Out...

Open eyes. Go back to counting. Breathe.

In...

Out...

In...

Out...

I kept counting the things around me until I felt my breathing go back to normal and my heart rate was slowly going back to its original pace.

I broke out into a sob at the thought of everything and tears continued to roll down my face. My body shook, but from the sobs this time, and I sniffled.

Why?

Why would someone make such an account?

I wanted to know who was behind it. Did I do something to hurt that someone? Did people actually think I was sneaking out during lockdown and sleeping with two different boys? Didn't they know that I lived with them?

Maybe they knew I lived with them but still thought I was having sex with both.

It hurt so much knowing people actually thought that about me.

There was a whole account made about me.

Did it have any other posts?

My hands itched to go check my phone but I knew I couldn't handle another panic attack.

I felt my puffy eyes sting from my crying and it just made me even more exhausted. I sniffled as I stood up shakily and lied down on my bed.

My heart and stomach kept clenching at the thought of that account and all the comments...

Did the account have any followers?

How long has this account been there?

Thoughts and unanswered questions kept invading my head and it felt like exploding. I blew my nose and shifted my head against my damp pillow.

My eyes go droopy and I couldn't stop them from closing anymore. I soon felt myself drift off to sleep with a clogged-up nose.

♛

I stared at my appearance in the mirror for the second time today... and once again, I felt like crying.

I just woke up from my short nap and my face was all pink from crying before falling asleep. My eyes were so puffy, my bottom lip was swollen from how hard I've been biting it from nervousness, my nose was bright red, my cheeks were stained, and my hair was messy.

I made the mistake of looking down at my body and my urge to cry grew stronger.

"What a fat slut"

I really am fat.

I looked down at my thighs and sniffled. My belly didn't really show underneath the shirt but once I lifted it up my eyes stung.

There wasn't A LOT of fat there but it was still not as flat as Tina's stomach, or Huda's, or even freaking Stacey.

I looked up again and cringed at the sight of my cheeks. Why did I have to look like this?

"Ew, why would they fuck HER out of all girls"

I was so confused as to why Blake kissed the ugly thing that I am... twice.

He's in lockdown. You're the only girl around him. He probably had... urges.

That's probably why he said the sentence: "Do you know how fucking long I've waited for this?" after we kissed. He was probably deprived of something like that for so long.

He wouldn't have done it if we weren't in Lockdown.

A memory shot back to my head and my eyes widened in realization... I'm right. He wouldn't have kissed me or gone near me, and the one night we were together while Cole was with Lizzie at his parents' house is proof.

We were in a position similar to the one we were in yesterday, he got a call and left. Later that week Tina told me he had slept with her that night and had said he didn't care about me.

I totally forgot about that.

I looked back at my face and noticed the tears streaming down it. My cheeks were fully visible since my hair was tied into a low ponytail and was moved out of the way. I really do look disgusting.

Stop eati- Just lower your intake of food...

I brought my hand to the back of my head and pulled my hair out of the stupid ponytail. My hair was messy from the top and my baby strands were all over the place so I ran my fingers through my locks quickly and brought the front ones to my face.

More tears poured out of my eyes when I saw that I still looked disgusting and ugly, the only difference was that my stupid full cheeks didn't look as chubby as they actually are.

I wiped my eyes with the back of my hands and tried my best to keep my sobs in; I really don't want one of the boys walking in on me crying. I was still thanking God that they didn't see me having a panic attack earlier.

I kept holding my tears and wiping the ones that escaped until my face was completely dry. I glanced at my ugly reflection for one more second before stepping away from the mirror and walking towards my door.

I slowly opened it so it wouldn't make a lot of sounds and quickly but carefully rushed to the bathroom; I didn't want anyone seeing me before I've washed my face and made sure I didn't look like a pig who had just finished having a mental breakdown.

I closed the bathroom door behind me slowly and locked it before turning to the sink and opening the faucet, looking down so I could avoid glancing at myself in the mirror again.

I washed my face three times and dabbed it with a towel until it was completely dry. I blew my nose again, threw the tissue away, took a deep breath, made sure my front locks were still covering the edges of my face and walked out.

A delicious scent was coming from the kitchen and the softest sound of humming was heard from there too and I instantly knew it was Blake. My throat was dry and I needed a glass of water, I was also really hungry, so I made my way to no place other than the kitchen.

I walked in and my heart squeezed on its own when I found him there. His soft hair was away from his eyes from the number of times he probably ran his fingers through it and he was simply wearing a baggy pajama shirt over baggy pajama pants.

He kept humming as he stood in front of the stove and cooked whatever dish he was making over it.

My heart ached thinking about what I remembered earlier and I walked over to the cabinets to pull out a glass cup. I saw Blake turn around from the corner of my eyes and he stopped humming, "Muffin?" He didn't sound sour.

I didn't show confusion on my face as I turned around to see him, "Hmm?" I closed the cabinet after pulling the glass cup out.

His lips tugged upward so he could smile but I saw him stop and frown after eyeing my face. I quickly turned around to walk towards the sink so I could fill my glass with water.

"What's wrong?" His voice was soft as I heard him set the wooden spatula over the counter.

What was he talkin-

Godamn it...my face.

He noticed.

I internally groaned and played dumb, "What?" I opened the faucet and filled my cup with water.

I heard him walk over to me and saw him stand next to me from my peripheral vision. He crouched down and made me turn around to face him. His frown made its way back to his face and he furrowed his eyebrows. Was he sad I had signs of crying on my fa- no, of course not.

He made a move to cup my disgusting chubby cheek and I moved my face away, a hurt expression flashed on his face. "Livi, what happened?"

I tried to look away from his captivating green eyes but it was hard to do that after he brushed a stupid lock behind my ear, revealing my stupid cheek.

I pulled the lock back in its place and Blake unknitted his eyebrows but kept the frown. He eyed my now covered cheek with an almost angry expression and parted his lips to say something but Cole walked in the same second and whatever was in the pot started boiling.

"What are you making?" Cole's voice sounded bubbly as always but it showed a bit of tiredness. Did he not nap? I should really talk to him about th-

My thoughts were cut off when I saw Cole's face. It was paler than usual. "Cole, did you eat anything since this morning?" Blake asked, I'm guessing he noticed the difference in Cole's face too.

Cole shook his head and walked over to the stove to check what was in the pot, "Nah, I'm fucking starving tho- HOLY SHIT! You're making beef stroganoff?

Blake ignored the last part and looked at Cole, his face holding a certain expression, "Cole did you take your pills today?"

Cole turned to look at him and squinted his eyes, "What? Yeah, why? OH! Is it because of this?" He pointed at his face.

Blake nodded his head and walked towards him, "You need to eat something Cole, you can't just fucking forget about your meals-"

Cole sighed, "I know, I know, I was- shit ow, I was playing video games. Can we eat now? It looks ready..."

Blake stopped giving Cole his serious expression and nodded his head, "Can you guys set the table," He turned to look at me after Cole replied with a "sure" and I quickly looked away before he could give me the same look he gave me after seeing me untuck the lock from behind my ear.

I helped Cole set the table as Blake placed the food inside a big bowl. We all sat down once we were done and started eating.

"Did you guys attend all the classes today?" Blake asked out of curiosity, Cole was strangely silent.

I nodded my head as I took a bite of the food, holy crap was this delicious. Cole shook his head and played with his fork as he chewed.

Blake and I turned our heads towards each other after looking at Cole, we were both frowning. "Why not?" Blake was clearly trying to get Cole to speak.

Cole looked up at us with his beautiful blue eyes and I noticed that his face was getting paler, he shrugged. "My head hurt from Macey's screeching noises as she presented in some class we had together, I swear it's so clear how she tries to heighten the pitch of her voice to sound cute or some shit, it's annoying as fuck."

I chuckled, "Tracey?"

Cole smiled and swallowed the food in his mouth, "Whatever her name is."

I noticed how his swallows were slower than usual and I got confused. I looked up at his face again... he's clearly sleep-deprived and it's taking a big toll on him. What's keeping him up?

"Cole?" I asked.

He looked back at me, "Yeah?"