"Hello, Olivia." The doctor smiled at me after entering the hospital room.

It was currently seven in the morning and the doctors mentioned that I was able to go home now but they needed to discuss a few things with Luke and me first. Cole and Blake left the room a few minutes ago and it was only Luke, the doctor, and me in the room right now.

I noticed that the doctor was wearing a mask on his face, just like every other doctor or nurse that had entered the hospital room before.

"Hello," I replied and sat up straighter on the bed.

The doctor flipped a page from his board and then looked back up at us and started talking. "So, Oliva, since when exactly have you been having these panic attacks? When did it start?"

I thought back to it and was about to answer hesitantly but Luke beat me to it, "When she was about twelve years old turning thirteen."

"And she started going to a therapist every twice a week for three months only, correct?"

"Yes, her panic attacks and nightmares had stopped on the third month so she stopped visiting Doctor Smith."

"And her forms say that she was diagnosed with Panic Disorder... have you been taking any kinds of medications, Olivia? For example, fluoxetine, paroxetine, and sertraline?"

I frowned and shook my head. "No," I answered.

The Doctor nodded his head, "Alright, that's everything. You'll be able to leave in a few. Though, I want to talk to you guys about the medications."

Luke and I nodded our heads, waiting for him to continue talking. "I'll be prescribing you with a few antidepressants and anti-anxiety medications to help reduce the symptoms of anxiety, such as panic attacks or extreme fear and worry. Now, I won't tell you to go back to psychotherapy just now, but if the medication doesn't do a great job at reducing the symptoms and you find yourself having more than just a few panic attacks, you'll have to contact me-" He handed us a card, "-and we'll see if cognitive behavior therapy is needed for your treatment."

I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding when I heard that I won't be going back to therapy for now. Thank god.

"I can't tell you that you won't be having any panic attacks at all because of the pills but I can tell you that, again, it reduces the symptoms. Now, there are a few techniques to use when you're having a panic attack, and they can help to a very great extent. Are you aware of them?"

Luke answered that for me, "Only a few. Her old therapist, Dr. Smith, also managed to give her some tips, the rest is mainly a result of research." I was so relieved that Luke was here with me to answer most of the questions perfectly and handle almost everything for me instead.

"Very well, thank you. I need her legal guardian to sign just a few more papers now." He turned to Luke.

"Yeah, sure." He quickly got up before the two of them left, Luke gave me a small warm smile before walking out.

I didn't even get a chance to blink before Cole and Blake were in the room, both of their faces were holding shocked and worried expressions and their hair was all over the place. They stood there, in front of the door, frozen in place, and stared at me.

I stared back at them with pinched eyebrows and was about to ask them what was going on before Cole held his phone up in the air. I couldn't see what exactly was on his screen but I could tell that there was some kind of website that had some typing on it or something.

"Wha-"

"The fucking country's going into motherfucking lockdown." Cole breathed.

Blake nodded his head quickly, making his hair flop around and land over his eyebrows. "We're gonna die."

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"So they aren't a hundred percent sure?" I asked the boys after they finished explaining everything. I was shocked by the news of everything and my heart stopped when I heard about the number of deaths.

"For now, no. Though there is a really high percentage of us going into lockdown in a few weeks or even less. There are a bunch of new rules that we need to follow now; we gotta fucking wear masks everywhere, or else the shops won't let us in, and there's this social distancing shit where you have to stay at least six feet from others. We even gotta wear masks to schoo- OH WAIT! ALSO, SCHOOLS MIGHT SHUT DOWN BABAYYYYY!" Cole exclaimed.

Blake hit the back of his head, causing Cole to calm down and groan. "Schools might shut down?" I asked them, still really shocked by the news.

"Yeah," Blake answered and took a seat on the chair next to my bed. "I think it would be smart of us to start shopping for everything we need this week because we never know when or if we'll go into lockdown. It's better to get the stuff this week and not on the last day; I bet the supermarkets will be crowded." He sighed.

"Yeah, that's a smart idea." I nodded my head and Cole went to sit on the chair to my left.

"How's your head? Do you need any more painkillers?" Blake changed the subject.

I shook my head carefully, "No, it's okay; I already took my dose. Thank you, though." I smiled at him.

He nodded his head and smiled back at me, making my stomach flutter in its cage from the sight of his beautiful smile. Damn, did I prefer this from his smirks and cocky grins.

My stomach suddenly grumbled out of nowhere, reminding me that I'm starving. Blake frowned at the noise and I bet my cheeks started tinting red from embarrassment. "You're hungry," He said.

"It's fi-"

"Cole order the food now," Blake ignored me and looked back at Cole. Cole nodded his head quickly, seeming eager to fill his stomach too, and pulled his phone out of his pocket before walking out of the room.

"Are you sure you're okay? You don't need anything?" Blake questioned, running his fingers through his disheveled hair.

My heart did that little dance again at the tone he was using with me and the thought of him caring. "Yes, I'm sure, Blake," I reassured him before yawning; I was exhausted for some reason and it was still eight in the morning.

"You're tired. Do you wanna take a small nap before the food arrives? It'll probably take forty minutes." He asked.

I yawned again, covering my mouth while doing so, and shrugged. That sounds like a good idea.

Ovaries: Can you lay with us?

Godammit.

Heat spread across my cheeks as I thought back to how it felt like to fall asleep in his arms, it was probably one of the best feelings in the world, falling asleep to his exquisite scent and the sound of his beating heartbeat.

Flashes of how he also kept kissing my temple or forehead until I fell asleep in one of the previous times went through my head and my heart and stomach went even crazier. He'd also whisper the sweetest words in my ear to help m-

Stop it. I'm gonna embarrass myself in front of him by suddenly turning my face into a tomato from out of nowhere.

"When are they gonna release me?" I asked as I laid back down and shifted to rest on my side so I can face him. I shook the flashes away from my head and snuggled further into Adolf Oliver Nipple-pooh.

"Probably after two hours or so," Blake answered. "Luke's still discussing a few things with them, I wonder why it's taking them this long to sign a few papers and discuss shit. It's probably because it's the first time this has ever happened."

I nodded my head, "Probably." My eyes were starting to get droopy and I battled to keep them open.

"Don't fight it, Muffin. You need sleep." Blake whispered.

I didn't want to fall asleep just now when Blake was right in front of me and I could be spending my time talking to him. I know I live with him and everything, but I was afraid he'd go back to being a cocky idiot once we're back home.

I still tried to keep my eyes open, causing Blake to chuckle in amusement. He brought his hand to my forehead and flicked it, "Sleep."

I half gasped. "You did not just flick my forehead," I said sleepily.

Blake flicked it again, "Shh."

I groaned and he was about to flick it again but I slapped his hand away lazily, "Okay, okay..." I yawned again.

"Good kid," He said, teasing me.

"Shut up..." I said before my eyes began to close on their own. I really was exhausted.

I felt myself begin to drowse off and my breathing slowed. I felt a soft pair of... lips? touch where my forehead was flicked and my lips tugged upwards into a lazy smile as I was probably already dreaming of Blake kissing my forehead like last time.

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"Muffin," I felt someone gently nudge me and I kept my eyes closed, still hella sleepy.

"Oliverrr," I heard another voice say.

I hummed in response and shifted my head against the pillow.

"The food's here-" I shot my eyes open quickly and looked at the face in front of me. Blake gave me a deep chuckle that managed to make my heart melt- god damn it, I literally just woke up.

I saw a blob of blond hair appear in front of me next to Blake's head and Cole smiled at me brightly, holding the paper bag that contains the food up and shaking it, "Morning, Sunshaaannn,"

I rubbed my eyes and sat up slowly, still not fully awake. I just knew that I was starving.

Cole placed the bag on my lap, moving Adolf to the side and sitting him beside me, and he and Blake sat in front of me on the bed.

"I got you the same thing you ordered last time and fries, is that what you wanted?" Cole asked and started opening one of the other bags.

I checked the bag that was placed on my lap and nodded, "Yeah, thanks." I gave him a small smile and he, of course, gave me one that was a thousand times wider and brighter, his blue eyes crinkling at the ends.

"No problem, Ollie."

We all started eating in comfortable silence because we were too hungry to utter a single word before finishing our meals. Luke eventually walked into the room and smiled at me when our eyes locked.

He walked over to the bed, ruffled my hair, and kissed my head before sitting down on the chair beside me. Blake handed him a bag that was still unopened and Luke thanked him, opening the bag and pulling his food out to eat with us.

When we were done eating, we put all the wraps in the bags and Blake threw them away. Cole brought the hand sanitizer that was on the small table in the corner of the room and we all cleaned our hands and wiped them.

"So the doctors say that you can be released now," Luke started talking. "they gave me about six masks and we all have to make sure that we're wearing them properly when we're walking out. I have to leave later today for university but I'll make sure to get you a reusable cloth air one and a bunch of N95 and FFP2 masks for you guys just in case."

I frowned when I heard that he's driving back to NYC today but still nodded my head and stayed silent so he could continue talking. "Please, please, please keep the mask over your nose and wear gloves. I'll be buying a few packs for you guys, and of course, hand sanitizer. Keep a small bottle with you guys when you go to school and shower when you're back, just in case. They'll keep repeating the rules for you guys and the dos and don'ts but you guys still need to carefully listen to me."

Cole and Blake nodded their heads as well, "I know there aren't many cases in America yet, but take everything seriously. Don't kiss or hug anyone at school, this includes Huda, and keep your masks on at all times. Make sure you social distance perfectly and try your best to avoid going anywhere other than school or shops and markets for essentials. Which also means, no making love anymore either, for you little shits." Luke looked at Cole and Blake when he said the last part and I suppressed my laughter.

Blake shrugged while Cole threw his head back and whined like a kid who was denied candy. Blake slapped the back of Cole's head hard, causing him to stumble forward. "You fucker," he groaned, rubbing the spot he was hit on.

Luke ignored Cole. "Do you guys understand?" he asked us all.

"Yeah," Cole groaned and Blake and I nodded our heads.

"Good, we can leave now,"

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I smiled once Blake was done unlocking our front door and we stepped in. I took my mask off and breathed the scent of the apartment in and let out a breath. It felt really good to take the damn thing off.

Cole didn't wait a second before he sprinted to the living room and belly-flopped on the couch, stuffing his face in one of the throw pillows and screaming a bunch of muffled words.

I laughed and Blake shook his head, closing the door behind him and taking his mask off as well. We parted ways with Luke ten minutes ago because he wanted to personally get us the masks, sanitizers, gloves, and sprays; he was taking everything really seriously and none of us were complaining.

"I'm going to take a shower," I informed Blake in a whisper, trying my best not to think of the main reason why I wanted to take it. I've been itching to scrub every inch of skin on me that was touched by Ashton. I felt disgusted and uncomfortable.

I went to my room, making sure to grab my clothes this time so I don't end up banging my head against the door again and smacking myself for being an idiot like last time. After I was done picking out my clothes, I walked out of the room and made my way to the bathroom.

I locked the door behind me when I entered the bathroom and placed my clothes on the counter. I avoided looking at myself in the mirror, knowing I probably look like hell right at the moment and I'd probably die if I saw what Blake was seeing when he was looking at me yesterday and this morning. God, why do I suddenly care too much about his opinion?

Ovaries: 'Cause we like himmmm...

Shut up. I'm already aware of that.

Stop talking to your organs, Olivia.

Ovaries: We prefer Livi but whatev-

STOP.

I stripped out of my clothes and hung them up behind the bathroom door. I started the shower and impatiently waited for the water to heat up. I brought my hand under the showerhead a minute later and stepped into the shower when I was satisfied with the temperature of the water.

I immediately reached for the loofah, scrubbed it against some soap, and added a layer of shower gel before beginning to scrub quickly and harshly at my collarbone, neck, shoulder, stomach, wrists, arms, backside, hips, and below my ears until almost every inch of me was red and stinging.

I still didn't feel fully clean in some areas like my neck because his lips had made contact with it, or my stomach because his hands had trailed over it, so I scrubbed harder there until the skin became too sensitive and it hurt even more.

I still didn't feel clean though.

The memory's still there.

He still touched me.

I didn't know I was crying and that the liquid dripping down my face wasn't just the water until I felt my eyes sting. How long was I crying for?

My body shook and I applied even more soap and shower gel to the loofah with shaky hands. I scrubbed and scrubbed even though the stinging was getting too painful. I'm still dirty.

I'm still dirty.

I'm stil-

I need it to go away.

I need his touch to go away.

Scrub.

Scrub.

Scratch.

The friction of the loofah with my skin was scratching me now and blood was beginning to draw. My body shook even more and the sound of the water drowned my sobs as I cried harshly. I kept scrubbing even though my neck was slightly bleeding in so many different spots and my stomach was a scarlet color and had bloodied scratches all over it.

I felt my knees give out and I slid down the wall, bringing my knees to my chest and continuing to cry harshly. I want this feeling to go away. I don't want to be dirty any more. I want his touch gone more than anything, so I didn't stop scrubbing.

My body was red, my stomach and neck a deep shade of it with bright red scratches of blood. I kept scrubbing and crying for what felt like hours until the stinging in my eyes got too uncomfortable and my eyelids started getting heavy.

I weakly turned the shower off and stood up slowly, a pain shooting on the skin of my stomach from the movement. I think I'm clean now.

I wrapped the towel around me and stood in front of the sink. I wiped the fogged-up glass of the mirror with my palm and looked at myself in the mirror. My skin looked horrifying, it was still drawing blood, but I was satisfied.

I dried myself off, sucking a few breaths every two seconds because of the painful contact of the towel against my red skin. I carefully slipped into my clothes and looked at myself in the mirror, the deep shade of red that was attacking my neck was still visible; I'll need to wear a hoodie and let my hair down.

I sighed and threw my dirty clothes in the laundry basket before walking out of the bathroom and making my way to my room. I closed the door when I reached it and rummaged through my closet to find a good hoodie, slipping into one when I found it.

I brushed my hair before bringing it over my shoulders and neck and pulling the hood over my head. My eyes were still kind of heavy from all the crying and exhaustion was still taking over my body.

I eyed my bed for a few seconds, noticing how Adolf Oliver Nipple-pooh was now sitting on it along with the gift boxes that everyone had gotten me earlier. Cole or Blake must have placed them there while I was showering.

I walked over to the bed and carried the boxes, placing them on my desk instead, and then slowly lied down on my bed. I grabbed the gigantic teddy bear that was close to me and pulled it to my chest. I brought the comforter over my body, snuggled into Adolf, and closed my stingy eyes, falling asleep almost immediately afterward.

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I was awoken when I felt fingers run through my hair gently. I quickly shot my eyes open and discreetly brought my hair closer to my neck. I looked up and sleepily smiled back at Luke when I saw that he was the one softly stroking my hair. "Hey, Munchkin." He whispered.

"Hey," I whispered back with a raspy voice. "when did you come?"

"About an hour ago," He answered.

My eyes widened before I frowned. "Why didn't you wake me up earlier?"

"You needed sleep. Blake told me you only got to have a thirty-minute nap back at the hospital, how are you feeling?"

"I'm fine, I guess. My head doesn't hurt that much anymore," I answered him.

Luke shook his head, "That's not what I only meant. How are you feeling?"He repeated the question.

I knit my brows for a second in confusion before realizing what he meant and relaxing them. I let out a small "Oh,"

Luke continued to look at me with a worried gentle expression, waiting for me to answer. "I'm okay," I answered, not really knowing if that was true or not. I just knew that I was thankful things didn't get too far and I was able to escape Ashton easily.