A/n: Sorry if there's any spelling mistakes!

Laysa's pov

Well, today I have to go to therapy.

I don't like sharing my feelings. Even though it was the last time I still felt like it will never end.

We talked about what did I do with Gee yesterday and stuff.

Finally, time that I have been waiting for a whole day Gee's visit.

We sat in my room and discussed some art things.

"So, you have to sleep over one night because they want to see how we really do." He said looking at me.

It made me happy because it meant that I won't have to sleep here even for one night.

It would be nice to spend more time with Gee as well.

"I talked to Rosemary and she said you could come tomorrow if that's okay with you." He said.

"Of course I'm okay with getting away from here." I said slightly giggling.

"Do you want to draw with me?" I asked hopefully.

"Of course."

We drew together for an hour.

I drew a rough sketch of me and him I was dark and he was light. He was holding my hand which made my hand lighter.

It would look weird if you don't know the real feelings behind it.

Because this drawing is about how he is pulling me out of a dark place.

He drew a picture of me smiling widely.

My hair was down and I was wearing that black MCR hoodie. There was a river in the background.

"Remember when I first took you out from the ward? And we walked by the river." He said glancing at his drawing.

I have no idea how he could draw so good and how he did this with only an hour.

"Yea it was so peaceful, just to walk." I said as he nodded.

"I used to go for walks quite often.

I liked that it felt free and even a little time away from my parent's place was a paradise for me."

Gerard's pov

I can't even imagine what she is been through. She doesn't tell me much as well.

I know that they fought a lot and had guests around almost every day.

She has told me also that they weren't the nicest to her but she didn't get into it. I don't want to put pressure on her that she needs to tell me either.

But I was too curious and asked.

"What do you mean? Well, you don't have to tell me." I said with a low voice.

"Well... My mom was away working a lot but my dad umm... He didn't act really good with me." Was the only thing she said but I could see her eyes looking full of sadness and pain.

I was already accepting the fact that I wouldn't get more out of her but then she said.

"When I did something wrong which is always then he would... Beat me."

At that moment I couldn't believe it even though I have thought about it before.

A single tear fell down her face when she said.

"And some other things y'know."

I hugged her immediately planting a kiss on top of her head.

I don't want to even think about what 'some other things' meant.

My emotions were mixed it was like sadness, pain, and anger. A lot of anger.

I wanted to kill that so-called 'father'.

She didn't deserve it!

"Oh... It's okay he can't hurt you anymore, you are safe."

"I know." She said before breaking down completely.

"Shhh... You know that I would never hurt you right?" I asked.

"Mhm." She hummed between sobs.

"I don't deserve it!" She said somehow starting to cry even more.

"you don't deserve what? If what did he do to you then yes." I said hugging her tightly

"I don't deserve you!" She said.

My heart sank. What?

"Oh sweety you deserve it 100%! You deserve a better life and I want to give it to you, that life you deserve."

She just sobbed to my chest I know that it's hard to deal with your own mind and she might don't believe me.

"You probably don't believe me but you are worth it, I love you."

"I love you too." She said looking at me with her tear-stained eyes.

As she said that my heart skipped a beat.

I couldn't help but smile. But that smile was mixed with sadness.

I love her so much.

Laysa's pov

As he said that he loves me all my problems have seemed to be disappeared. My whole world stopped as the warm feeling of love filled my body.

He continued to talk to me about happier things to calm me down.

I felt embarrassed to be breaking down in front of him.

I felt completely trained out.

Trigger warning!

When Gee left and I looked at the mirror I saw a girl with red puffy eyes and messy hair. I had too many emotions in me that I needed to let out.

I graved for blood. I graved for the cuts.

I was desperate. I needed it and I needed it right away. But I waited a couple of hours hoping these thoughts would stop telling me to do it.

Why did I embarrass myself in front of him? While it felt nice to finally tell someone a little about my real father I still felt like it was my problem and no one else should know about it.

Because it was my fault that he did those things to me.

I am just a disappointment. The graveing was getting bigger and bigger every second that I thought about what had happened today.

I walked around my room searching for something sharp.

I was pacing in circles until I saw a pair of child scissors on my drawer that was open.

Why didn't I think about it before?

I took the scissors and sat on the floor.

As I rolled up my sleeves I looked at the old cuts on my arms.

I was doubting my decision to do it.

Do it! You know that you deserve to be hurt!

You disappointed Gee. You told someone about YOUR problem. It's your problem, not someone else's.

As my mind was telling me that I took the scissors and took them on my skin but then stopped.

Am I really going to do it? Will I dissipation Gee even more if I do it? I placed the scissors down and brought my head to my knees.

My head was spinning and my mind was telling me to do it but at the same time not to do it.

As the tears began to fill my closed eyes memories of my father began to abuse my mind.

"You don't deserve to be in this household at all get out!" My father yelled at me after I came late because I was retaking a test.

I left the house Immediately and ran as fast as I could because I knew that he would yell out the window as well.

While I was running down the driveway I pumped into my mom.

"Hey! First of all, watch where you're going, and second of all where are you running?" She said with a mad tone.

Great, she's mad as well.

"D-dad told me to leave."

"Well, I'm going to tell you to get your ugly ass back inside!" She yelled at my face while pointing a finger at our house.

I followed him inside ready to get yelled at.

"Here's that little piece of shit." My father said laughing and looking at me.

"Yea, I wish that I could do abortion right now." Mom said laughing as well.

Hearing that from your mom is pretty hurtful. But she was right. I am just a piece of shit that nobody wants.

I should just end their pain and die.

It would be better for everyone.

I was lost in my thoughts until I saw a fist coming closer to my face.

I shut my eyes hoping it would end soon.

He punched me and said.

"You're just a worthless ugly rat!"

My mom was watching and laughing slightly. They are psychos.

As it all stopped I ran to the bathroom and saw blood all over my face from the mirror.

I brought the scissors back to my skin ready to slice my skin open until I remembered the times when I and Gee watched movies and when we drew together.

I don't know why these memories came to my mind but deep down I was a little happy that they did.

Gee makes my thoughts calm down I don't know how but he does.

If only I could talk to him right now.

Even a phone call would make me feel better.

I wasn't at the ward and I couldn't ask Clara to give me her phone. But I could go and at least talk to Rosemary.

I got up and wiped my tears.

I stepped out of my room my heart bounding. She will not give me her phone for sure.

As I walked to her office my legs became heavier every time I got closer to it.

It felt like forever but it was only a couple minute walk to the other side of the building.

I knocked and waited feeling like my heart was going to win the race from bounding so hard.

"Come in!"

I went in and looked at the ground trying to hide my puffy eyes.

"Laysa? Everything okay?" She asked.

"Yeah, I was just wondering if-... If I could use your phone to call Gerard?" I sluttered out quietly.

"Yeah, of course!" She said with a friendly tone.

She handed me the phone his number already dialed in.

"I'm going outside so you can talk privately." She said as she stepped out of the office doors.

I appreciated that.

I pressed the green button trying to work out what to say.

"Hey." Gee said with a sleepy voice. Now I woke him up and he is going to hate me.

"H-hey sorry."

"Laysa?" He said his voice switched to worry.

"Yea, me."

"Is everything okay?"

"Yes, well I don't know I just ca-nevermind."

"Honey, what's going on?"

"I just don't feel the best."

"Mentally?"

"Yes." I say really quietly.

"Honey it's going to be okay we all have darker days but do you want to talk about it?"

"No" I shook my head knowing that he wouldn't see it.

"Okay."

"I just want to talk to you because it kinda helps to calm down my thoughts."

"Really? But do you remember the day you met the guys?" He said trying to change the conversation topic.

But I appreciated it.

We talked for a while until I felt better.

Rosemary came back with a cup of coffee and a biscuit.

She gave me the biscuit and asked what did we talk about.

I just told her 'nothing much'.

We talked with her about that I have to go to a sleepover at Gee's tomorrow.

I was excited about tomorrow.

Gerard's pov

After Laysa call I was super worried. She seemed really off. But I will never know why.

But at least talking to me helped. At least I hope it did. And she will come to my place tomorrow.

I want her to be happy. I blamed myself for not being there right now even though it would be impossible because it's pretty late.

If I was only there. I know I couldn't change her feelings I could only change what's on her mind at the moment.

I hope that tomorrow will be better and she will be happy to be here.

She has been to my place two times now and she seemed to like it here.

She even said that it feels so homie in here.

Well, she's definitely like me if she likes the house.

But what if she's feeling down because of tomorrow?

I need to stop overthinking.