Another morning in the psych ward. But today Rachel is leaving. Lucky she doesn't have to be here even though here is better than my parent's house. I'm actually fine with them putting me up for adoption but still, they were the ones who made me... and they don't want me.

Gerard won't leave my head. I need to try to get to him even if he doesn't care. I have to try. But how am I supposed to contact him without a phone or anything?

I find it really hard to get out of bed lately like I can't find a good reason to get up.

Guys are worried about me they won't stop asking questions... that I can't answer.

She's my old student why can't I get her out of my head. I want to know where she is. Is she okay? Is she thinking about me? Probably not. Why would she? I was just her teacher. I feel like... like I miss her?

I miss her. I miss her!

"I miss her!" I almost yelled while pushing my head more into a pillow.

Even if I had a phone I don't know his number. He gave me his number but I didn't memorize it. I didn't think it would be needed.

The memory of the night he sang me 'all the angels' replayed again and again in my head. THE NIGHT HE SANG TO ME!!

I remembered him saying that he will give me his number the next day. He did and I put the paper with his number into my bag. MY BAG! I literally ran to it and searched for the paper. There it was. My mouth curved into a smile as I was holding the paper with his number.

But still, I don't have a phone.

Phone time came around and it only reminded me that I don't have a phone. Others were talking to their family members while I just had to sit in my room.

Then Clara stepped into my room.

"Hey! I know that you don't have a phone here so I decided to ask you. Maybe you want to call someone from my phone?

She says smiling at me.

"Really? Well yeah, can I really?

"Of course," she said handing her phone to me.

"I'll give you time to talk privately." She said and left my room.

My hands were shaking while I took the paper out of my pocket and dialed in his number. I was fighting with my thoughts about him not caring. I pressed the green call button, my hands shaking like crazy.

When he picked up my heart started to beat so fast.

"Yes?" He said.

"Hey," I said quietly.

There was silence for a couple of seconds.

When I heard Laysa's voice I froze. My eyes started to get blurry.

"Laysa?"

"Yes it's me"

When I heard that tears fell down my face.

"Where are you?" I asked with a shaky voice.

"In a psych ward in New Jersey." She said almost so quietly that I couldn't hear.

"Psych ward? In New Jersey?"

"Yes"

Then Clara came back asking for her phone.

"I have to go," I said as I hanged up.

I gave Clara her phone and sat on my bed looking at my feet.

He answered. He wanted to know where I was. He cares.

Stop thinking that he cares, he doesn't. He probably didn't want to talk to you. You are just annoying him.

Tears fell down my face as my thoughts told me all those things.

I couldn't stop crying. I want to believe that he cares but he probably doesn't.