Trigger warning suicidal thoughts, self harm

I was in my room drawing when I heard the front door open. My parents got home great. I heard some voices that I didn't know. Well, I think today I'm staying in my room cuz there are guests here already.

I went to sleep pretty late cuz I wanted to finish reading a book. People downstairs didn't make much noise to my surprise, or I'm just used to falling asleep with loud noises and screaming.

School is finally over today even though I don't want to go home.

"Laysa!" I heard Gee say.

"Yes?"

"I'm done with work today and I can drop you off if you want," he asked smiling warmly.

"Okay," I answered.

When I got home I quickly ran to my room and started doing homework.

There was a war between my parents downstairs again. I heard my dad call me and I went downstairs.

"When we come home tonight I want this place to be cleaned!" He yelled to my face and went out slamming the door.

I did what he said cleaned the rooms that I was allowed to go. I was so tired and went to sleep early just to wake up tomorrow and live in this hell.

It was finally Friday and next week is the last week of school. Which is the last week of me working at school since the other teacher is coming back. And I can go back to New Jersey. But I can't stop thinking about Laysa she's been acting really off since her parents came back. I and her are becoming really close. She is the reason why I don't want to go back but I have to.

Time for my last class. Her class. But she didn't show up and that's really weird. I'm getting really worried about her just my gut tells me that there's something bad going on.

I found out that my only friend moved. He didn't even tell me and I called him my best friend. Also, Gee is going to leave next week I'm going to be all alone. I have nowhere to go now when my parents are in a big big fight which is happening pretty often lately. Tears escaped my eyes thinking about how Gee is going to leave me as well. And my mind was telling me that it's my fault and why did I even think that he cared.

How funny you thought he cared. Well, he is going to leave you like your best friend did. They all actually hate you. The world will be better without you and you know it!

I shook my head trying to get these thoughts out of my head. But they wouldn't go away. I can't do it anymore. I don't want to do it anymore. I want to escape this hell.

I took my backpack and threw paper and a pen in there. I went to the bathroom and took a pill bottle and a razor blade. I stole some vodka from my parents earlier. I put all the things in the bag and ran out of the front door.

I walked to the park taking small sips from the vodka. As I reached the park I looked around to find the most private place. I sat down in front of a big tree and took out the paper and a pencil. I wrote a long letter and placed it in my bag. I took the pills and put them all in my mouth. I opened the vodka and drank it trying to swallow all the pills. As I did it I took the razor blade and drew on my skin with it. I felt free. I felt like there was no weight on the world or my shoulders. I felt happy. I did it! There's no going back and I don't want to go back. I'm going to escape from this hell. Then everything went black.

I opened my eyes to see a white room with 'health' posters on the wall.

An old woman entered the room.

"Great you are awake." She said

I looked at her with a confused face. Am I not dead?

She asked some stupid questions like what's my name and how old I am.

"You are going to stay here for a week and then you are going to a psych ward"

I wanted to scream but I couldn't.

My mind was racing. Why am I not dead? Who found me? Do my parents know that I'm here? Even though they wouldn't care anyway.

A week went by quickly. And my parents showed up yay... They just wrote down to some papers I guess the psych yard papers. My mom didn't even look at me but my dad came to me and said he does not want to hear about me and I'm not her daughter.

A woman came to me and said that her name is Rosemary and that she was in charge of me now. I didn't know what she meant by that but she placed her hand on my shoulder and smiled sadly. She was the one who was driving me to a psych ward. The car ride was long and I fell asleep halfway there. I didn't know where I was exactly going, to be honest. I felt someone shake me and I opened my eyes to see that we were parking in front of an old-looking 4 story house. We went in and Rosemary gave some papers to a tall woman. Rosemary said goodbye and left. One of the staff searched my things and took my shoelaces. I didn't have anything with me only the backpack I went to the park with. They showed me my new room that I was sharing with a blonde girl. She said her name is Rachel and also asked 'why are you wearing all black?' Well, this is going to be interesting.

I change to the 'ward clothes' and lay on my bed looking at the ceiling.

"Laysa come with me you have a therapist appointment." One of the staff's said.

I went with her.

"So how are you feeling Laysa?" A therapist Mrs. Jasons asked.

"Good"

"You are not sad because your parents put you up for adoption?" She asked.

My eyes went wide as I stared at the ground. They put me up for adoption? Really?

She didn't come to school the whole week and I didn't see her leave her house as well. Where is she? What happened? Why isn't she here saying goodbye because I'm leaving in half an hour?

Half an hour went fast and she didn't come. I sat intoincar and sighed feeling really sad. I started the car looking around hoping she still comes but no. I started driving and a tear fell down my face. I don't want to leave her.

The ride was long and when I got home I quickly carried my things inside and went to take a nap. I saw her in my dream she was asking for help. Where is she?

A/n: If you feel like giving up then don't world is not better without you!

Speak to someone you trust!!!/