"What can I say about my new family?" Raven and Zero are staring at me intently, genuinely interested. Krash even looks up, determined not to let our previous conversation about our pasts get to him. I'm glad we're moving on quickly. I didn't want to dwell on it anymore than I already do on my own time.

"Well, Way, what are their names?" Raven urges, leaning forward, elbows on their knees and hands clasped under their chin.

"Um—" I hesitate, remembering the T-shirt Raven wore yesterday. Pretty much my whole school knows, so why shouldn't I tell the three people sitting around me? "—My dad's name is, um, Gerard."

I don't even have time to wonder how long it'll take anyone in the room to put two and two together when Raven's eyes widen. "You're joking."

I shake my head, fighting a smile.

"You're telling me you're Way and- and your dad... Gerard... you're joking," they say again.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," I say, the smile I was just fighting now wide on my face.

"Yes you do!" Raven jabs a finger in my direction. "You're messing with me!"

As I burst into laughter, Zero pipes up. "What the fuck is going on?" he asks, his eyes darting between us.

"Holy shit, the rumours are true." Krash speaks for the first time in a while. "Aren't they?"

Gerard and the guys have done a pretty good job of hiding my existence from the press and fans, but the fact that my whole school knows who I am made it difficult for the news not to spread at least a little. Thankfully we haven't been bombarded by paparazzi or anything; I'm not really ready to be known by the whole world. I don't know if I'll ever be ready.

I nod very slightly and that's all it takes. I hear a gasp and Raven's hands fly to their mouth. Krash mouths, "No way." Zero, on the other hand, is utterly confused and demands, "Someone help me out here!"

"Gerard Way," Raven says quietly. "Her dad is Gerard Way."

"You mean that guy from the band you're always going on about?" Raven's cheeks flush red and Zero shakes his head. "I need proof."

"And how do you suggest I provide that?" I ask.

"If he's your dad you have his number, don't you?"

He's got a point there, but I hesitate. "I don't know if I should call him. I'm supposed to be at school right now, you know? We all are, really."

"I stand by what I said." Zero crosses his arms over his chest. "I need proof."

All three of them are looking at me expectantly now, so I pull my phone out of my pocket reluctantly. My hands had been in my front pocket this entire time and just about freeze when I take them out and they hit the air. "What am I supposed to say?" I ask as my finger hovers over Gerard's contact.

They all shrug and I roll my eyes, so I guess I'm winging it. I tap on the contact and it rings only a couple times before Gee's voice speaks out from the other end of the line. "Hello?"

"Hey Gee," I say casually.

"Eve? What's up?"

"Um—" Desperate, I look up at Raven who just mouths what I think is "Oh my god". Needless to say, my new friends are useless in this situation. "—when's your birthday?"

"April ninth— wait— why? And aren't you meant to be in class, Eve?"

"Well," I say slowly, "we're doing a writing exercise in English about our families. I- I just needed to know."

"Okay then. Is that all you need to know?"

"Um, yeah, I can do the rest..."

"Alright, good luck, I guess."

"Yeah, thanks."

"No problem."

At that I hang up the call and sigh a sigh of relief as I slip my phone back into my pocket. Zero bursts out laughing, though. "That was the most awkward call I've ever witnessed!" he gasps.

"Whatever," I say with a wave of my hand, "was that enough proof for you?"

Zero stops laughing at once and seems to think for a few seconds before finally saying with a single nod of his head, "Hell yeah."

• • •

This time I came prepared with a clean hoodie stuffed in my backpack to change into before Gerard picks me up again so that I don't smell like cigarette smoke. He should have no reason to be suspicious today.

I stop at a small shop on my walk back to the school from the park and slip into their restroom to change into my hoodie. The guy behind the counter was too busy reading some magazine to notice me when I entered, and there he was, still reading, when I left. I then make it to the school just before the bell rings to signal the end of the day.

"Hey," I say as I climb into the car.

"Hi, Evie. Good day?" Gerard asks me as we leave the parking lot.

"It was fine." I nod.

"You know, you didn't have to call me earlier. You could've looked up my birthday online."

"Oh yeah, I guess I forgot it was that easy." It's true, that detail slipped my mind when I made up that lie about the writing exercise earlier. But in my defence, most people can't just go on the internet and search for their parents and come up with pages of information. It wouldn't have been my first instinct even if this was a real project.

The conversation died down after that and I went straight up to my room as soon as we got home. Then, tired and cold, I curl up in a pile of blankets on my bed and listen to music. It's becoming a routine. I close my eyes, letting the music— The Smashing Pumpkins— drown out everything else. What's different about this time is that I actually manage to fall asleep then and there.

I'm in the backseat of the car this time, Rosa is in the middle, and Micah's in the seat on the left of her. Mr. Miller is driving and Mrs. Miller is in the passenger seat.

"Turn the music up, Dad!" Micah says and cheers when Mr. Miller obeys. Here Comes The Sun by The Beatles plays through the car radio. We all start singing along immediately, Rosa's high pitched voice louder than the rest.

The song matches the weather; it's a perfect day to be on the road. I don't even know where it is we're headed, but I'll never find out.

A familiar looking red car in the left lane swerves into us, hitting us dead-on. A scream escapes my lips as we spin out of control. I grab onto Rosa's little hand, the car flips, everything goes black.

There's no way I survived that. There's no way... I open my eyes. I wish I hadn't. Rosa's head is twisted in a way it shouldn't be, her glossy eyes staring straight into mine.

I scream again. I try to turn my head away, but I can't move. I try closing my eyes, but the image is burned into my mind.

I bolt upright in bed with a final scream that resembles Rosa's name. I find myself in complete darkness. I guess Gerard didn't bother waking me up for supper earlier and decided to let me sleep.

My heart is beating out of my chest almost painfully, my eyes darting to my bedroom door as it opens to reveal a disheveled looking Gerard. For the second time. I was really hoping this wouldn't happen again. I used to get nightmares all the time, especially when I first arrived at my last foster home. The one nightmare I had just a couple days ago seems to have opened some dark corner of my brain, welcoming more along with it.

I try to wipe my tears before he sees my face, but he doesn't need to see my face to know that I'm not okay: He heard my screaming. So instead I cast my gaze down to my blankets, balled in my fists.

"You're okay, Evie," Gerard says softly, sitting on my bed next to me. "Another nightmare?"

I whimper without meaning to and pull one of my blankets more tightly around my quivering shoulders. He takes it as a yes.

"Was it the same as last time?"

"Um." I feel a lump rising in my throat and I know there's nothing I can do about it. I take a shaky breath in. "R-Rosa—" I break down into tears again and Gerard immediately pulls me into his arms.

"Hey," he whispers, shushing me. "Hey, it's okay, Eve. It's—"

"Stop saying that!" I wrench myself from his grasp. It's dark and the only light is coming from a tiny crack in my curtains, but I can see the look of shock on his face. Fleeting, but it was there. "It's not okay! Rosa is dead. They all are and they're never coming back, so stop saying that it's okay!"

"Evelyn," he says, his voice laced with sympathy, "I know it hurts now, but I promise, everything will be okay again one day. Until then, I'm here for you, you know?"

I stay quiet.

It's not okay and it never will be. And I don't only mean surrounding Rosa and the others. I've been hiding so much from Gerard— from everyone— and I can't seem to stop. My body is weak, I'm always freezing, shaking, sore, hungry, but I can't stop. I'm losing my will to live, but I don't even know if I want to stop.