I'm relieved that it's Friday and that the week is finally over, but I'm also incredibly nervous. If Emerald was avoiding me before, I'll be surprised if she's even allowed in the same building as me after yesterday.

"Evelyn." I'm at my locker when I hear a voice say my name from behind me.

Maybe I was mistaken?

"Emerald?" I say, turning around to face the girl. Almost all the blue is gone from her hair now.

"What the fuck was that?" She hisses.

"It- it wasn't my idea. Gerard dragged me there with him," I stutter, afraid because I've never seen my fr— Emerald so mad before. Come to think of it, I don't think I've ever seen her mad.

"What'd you tell him that made him go all crazy like that?"

"I just told him what happened! But you think my dad went crazy?"

"He fucking did, didn't he!? And, you told him what happened, Evelyn? Unbelievable! So what, now he thinks I'm gay, too?"

"That's irrelevant! What matters is your dad is the one who kicked me out of the house for no good reason!"

She shakes her head. "Maybe he did have a reason."

"But, Em, I thought—"

"No, Evelyn. I don't like you like that, I can't, and I never fucking will."

I truly think my heart just shattered in a million pieces. Tears are already pricking the corners of my eyes as I stutter, "Wh-what? Emerald... you're the one who—"

"Save your breath, it doesn't matter what you say, this is just the way it is." Emerald cuts me off then quickly follows a group of people walking in the hallway— her new friends, I suppose— but not before I see a tear run down her face. She wipes it away angrily.

I slam my locker shut and run to the nearest bathroom before bursting into tears. I was so confident yesterday during my speech to Emerald's dad, but I guess I was wrong in saying that she likes me back.

The bell rings, which means I should head to my first class, but I don't. I just lock myself in a bathroom stall and let the tears fall hot and fast.

This is a typical high school situation, isn't it? Crying in the bathroom after being jilted by someone you love, even though you're too young to know what love is.

I dig around for my phone in my bag then call Gerard. I let it ring for a while, but he doesn't answer.

Perfect.

He's probably in his office or taking care of some band stuff with the guys. They've been super busy recently planning a tour. They think I don't know, but I heard them talking about what they should do with me while they're away. Maybe it's for the better that he didn't pick up, though. I mean, I've already been enough trouble lately as is. I don't want to be anymore burdensome.

Maybe I should just skip school.

No, that's a stupid idea.

But I'm pretty sure I'm failing all my classes anyway, so does it really matter?

It does. Gerard would find out and he'd have to deal with that on top of everything else.

Instead, I stay in the stall for all of first class (math). No one comes looking for me, though I don't know why they would, and no one even enters the bathroom while I'm in here. I guess my sheer presence is repelling somehow.

When the bell finally rings again, I leave and go directly to History, taking a seat in the far back corner away from everyone. I put my hood on and avert my eyes, only looking up to take some illegible notes during class about World War II, or whatever it is we're covering now.

• • •

Gerard picks me up from school like usual, so I put on a fake smile for him. Like I said, I don't wanna be a burden any longer.

"Hey, Kiddo," he says when I get in the car. "How was school?"

I shrug. "Boring."

"Did you try calling me earlier? I was busy," he says apologetically. "Was it important? Everything okay?"

"Oh, um, it was nothing too important. I just thought I'd lost my lunch money, but I found it eventually."

I should start counting my lies. "No, I'm not hungry." "Oh, I'm just tired." "I'm fine." I used to have actual morals, now most of the things I say are untrue, I don't really care about my education, and my relationships are crumbling.

When we get home, I go straight to my room as always. I was going to start pacing around my bed again, but then I see my ukulele still in its box, barely touched. So, I take it, sit on my bed, and grab my laptop to start looking up some chords.

I find that C is an easy one, but the song I really want to play has a couple slightly more difficult chords, so I work on those for about half an hour, practicing switching between them, and generally getting used to holding the instrument.

Finally, I begin playing the song, then close my eyes and sing the words, "I hurt myself today..." I don't sing very often, so my voice out of practice, and I'm not singing very loudly either. Even to my own ears, my voice sounds, well, hurt. I'm pouring my feelings into this song; everything that has happened with Emerald in the last month, everything I've put my body through, the lies I've told. Then, forgetting it all and focusing on the lyrics, my eyes still closed. Forgetting my past, my disappointment, my pain, my hunger.

"What have I become, my sweetest friend..." Emerald's once vibrant blue hair flashes through my mind, but I push it all back.

After the last strum, I take a deep breath and place my ukulele down next to me on my bed. I didn't open my eyes once during the song and I still haven't, I'm just taking in the silence that has once again filled my room. But, the silence is soon broken and again by sudden clapping.

My eyes shoot open only to take in the sight of Gerard, Mikey, Ray, and Frank standing in my doorway staring at me in awe.

Evelyn, you idiot, of course they're here. It's Friday night! And you didn't even bother shutting your door.

I feel my face go red as I stare back, not knowing what to do or say in this situation. They all just heard me sing and play an instrument for the first time and I didn't even know it was happening.

Gerard speaks up first, "Eve... you can sing." Okay, so it seems he's kind of at a loss for words as well.

"That was, like, fuckin' amazing!" Frank exclaims.

I blush deeper and cover my face in my hands, mumbling, "Oh, come on, it wasn't that good."

"Uh, yeah, it was," he insists.

"It was really damn good," Ray agrees, and Mikey nods, too.

I sigh, dropping my hands in my lap, "Thanks, I guess."

"You know how to play anything else?" Gee asks eagerly.

"No, I just learned this one like ten minutes ago." Thankfully that's true. I really don't want to perform again, especially knowing I have an audience.

"Well, it was a good song choice."

"Thanks, Gee."

He smiles in return. "So, wanna come down for a movie?"

"We got pizza," Frank adds.

My heart drops. "I- I have a bunch of homework..." I haven't payed much attention in class in weeks, so that very well could be true.

I get a chorus of "Seriously!?", "It's Friday night!", "Come on, Eve!" in reply.

"Evieee," Frank whines coming over and taking me by the arm.

"Frankieee," I say back in the same tone.

He gives me a pleading look, and over his shoulder I see the other guys with similar expressions on their faces. Eventually, I just roll my eyes and let him lead me downstairs.

I don't wanna be here, I don't wanna be here, I don't wanna be here, I think, not even paying attention to the movie. The guys are all fully immersed, though.

Twenty minutes in, I decide I've had enough and put a hopeless plan into action. I lean my head on Gerard's shoulder.

"You okay?" He asks quietly, brushing some hair out of my face.

"Headache," I mumble. I'm internally cringing at the whole 'fake being sick' thing, but I'm kind of desperate.

"Want some painkillers or something?"

I shake my head lightly, "I wanna go to bed."

His eyes flicker down to my plate of pizza which I took a couple bites of only to avoid too much suspicion. I guess he decides that I must really not be feeling well, because he just kisses my forehead and whispers, "Okay, Evie."

I go up to my room, leaving it to him to explain to the others where I'm going.

I can't believe it worked. Now I'm free to burn off the pizza I just ate which is making me feel guiltier than I even do for leaving everyone downstairs.

• • •

if you don't know the song she was playing it was Hurt by Nine Inch Nails... highly recommend