I remember the last Halloween before I was put up for adoption. My mother essentially shoved a white sheet into my arms saying, "There. You're a ghost."

Little seven year old me cut out some eye holes and put the sheet over my head. I was a ghost. I loved it.

I went trick-or-treating on my own that year and my mom went to a party. I was free to eat as much candy as I wanted because I was alone in the house until the next morning. Not that she'd care either way.

She had gone out dressed as a 'sexy nurse', whatever that means. It was kind of ironic, because nurses are always so cheery and eager to be of aid. Maybe too eager. (I learned that at a pretty young age). But, my mom was the opposite of happy and helpful.

I hate nurses.

"So, Eve, has Emerald asked her mom about tonight yet?" Gee asks me during the drive to school.

"Yep. Plan is go." I'll be going to her house after school and staying the night. Gerard's gonna go celebrate Frank's birthday.

"You have everything you need? Clothes, phone, toothbrush?"

"Yes, Gee. I checked like three times before leaving the house."

"Okay, just making sure." We pull into the school parking lot and he hands me my lunch money which I stuff into the pocket of my jeans. "Love you, Eve. See you tomorrow."

• • •

The day couldn't have gone by more slowly. The only fun part was that some people showed up wearing Halloween costumes. Oh, also, any time we got, Em and I planned out what we're going to do tonight.

We decided we'd stay home rather than go trick-or-treating, and instead watch Hocus Pocus and make some popcorn. I wasn't too keen on the whole popcorn idea, but I agreed. It's Halloween, I should be able to have a few pieces, right?

"This is gonna be so fun!" Em squeals as she drags me towards her mom's car now that school is finally done for the day.

"Yeah, I can't believe I haven't gone to your house yet!" I am a bit nervous, though. You see, Emerald makes me feel things. Butterflies, most notably. I feel like I'm walking on clouds when she talks about something she's passionate about and her eyes light up and she has a cute little smile on her face—

"Eve, get in the car, it's kinda chilly out here." Em nudges me a little.

"Right. Sorry." Nice one, Evelyn. Daydreaming again.

Her mom makes friendly conversation on the drive to their house. The regular questions about how school is going, if we have any tests coming up, boring stuff. She's really nice, though. She's the kind of mother that makes me realize how badly I struck out in the parent-department. The first time, anyway.

Emerald's house, a simple, white two-story, has been decorated for Halloween. Pumpkins line the few stairs up to the front door and some fake headstones are planted in the yard.

"C'mon let's go put our stuff upstairs," she says once we're inside, then leads me upstairs to her room. She points across the hall to a white door, "That's my sister's room. She's not here, though, she's in college."

I don't pay attention to that, though. I've just dropped my stuff next to hers and now I'm looking around my friend's room. Her favourite colours, black and dark blue, cover it from floor to ceiling with everything from the curtains to the wall art, her bedspread and the rug on the floor. "I like it," I nod approvingly.

"Thanks!" She smiles brightly. "So, let's go get a snack cause I'm hungry and then we can just come back here and hang out."

I follow her down to the kitchen where a man is sitting at the table reading a newspaper.

"Hi dad," Em says. "This is my friend Evelyn."

He looks up from his book long enough to give me a quick, "Hello," then goes back to reading. His eyes are emotionless and he's got light, greying hair. Em rolls her eyes at him.

"You want anything, Eve?" She asks me, grabbing a granola bar.

"I'm good, thanks."

"Okay," she shrugs. We go back upstairs. "So, what now?"

"Um, I don't know." It's weird how we can talk all day at school, but now that we're in a house, in a room alone together, we have nothing to say.

"Oh, I have an idea. Let me show you my ukulele!" Emerald rushes over to her closet and pulls out a blue ukulele. "It's not expensive or anything, but it's special to me." She sits down and plays a chord.

"Show me what you can do?" I'm intrigued. She's mentioned that she likes playing ukulele before, but I've never actually heard her play.

"Okay, but you have to sing."

"Me? Sing?" I laugh humourlessly, "I don't think so."

"Come on, Eve, I've heard you sing to the radio before."

"And it was crap, wasn't it? I'm not trying at all when I sing along to the radio like that."

"If that's what you call "not trying"," She uses air quotes, "then I'd like to know what you can do when you are trying!"

I sigh, "Fine. Only for you."

Emerald starts playing something which I immediately recognize as Karma Police by Radiohead. Before I can stop myself I'm singing the words. It's one of my favourite songs at the moment and she knows it, which is probably why she chose to play it.

"Evelyn. What the fuck?" Em asks me as soon as the song is over.

I panic, "I know, I know. I'm sorry Em. It was terrible, I-"

"No, no, no you dork. It was perfect." What? I can tell by the tone of her voice and the way she's looking at me that she means what she's saying.

"Really?" I'm blushing now and look down at my lap.

"Yes, you amazing human being! Your voice— oh my god. It was great, really." She's basically bouncing up and down on her bed out of excitement.

She called me amazing.

• • •

That night after we've had lasagna for supper and it's getting dark out, Em and I go down to the TV room in her basement to watch Hocus Pocus. This one I have actually seen.

"It's cold down here, Em." I say, wrapping my arms around myself.

"Here," she grabs a fuzzy blanket from the arm of the couch and drapes it over both of us. "Better?"

"Much."

Halfway through the movie Em pauses it then goes upstairs only to come back with a bowl of hot, buttery popcorn about three minutes later.

"I bet I can throw a piece into your mouth," she says, plopping back down on the couch next to me.

"Em, you can't throw and I can't catch," I laugh.

"Whatever, open up."

Before I can even open my mouth she throws a piece of popcorn and it hits me directly in the forehead causing both of us to laugh uncontrollably.

"That- that was the most poorly executed thing I've ever—" she wheezes.

"I know, I know— how were you so off?!" I'm truly happy right now. Just my best friend and I in peals of laughter.

We both sigh when we've finally calmed down. It took a long time because every time we looked at each other we'd start laughing all over again. But now, we sit in silence. A good kind of silence.

I scoot closer to her, wrapping the blanket more tightly around me because I'm cold. She moves the bowl of popcorn out of the way and now we're sitting so close we could touch noses.

Her eyes are so, so beautiful. I say it all the time, I know. But I get lost in them all the time, too.

"Sunshine eyes," I say softly, referencing the time she came over and we were laying next to each other in my room.

She smiles a little bit and my heart explodes.

"Em," I whisper, "I think I'm a little bit gay."

She leans in, "Me too."

Suddenly our lips are touching.

They're impossibly soft, but so sure. Mine are hesitant even after the weeks I've spent dreaming about this moment I thought would never come. Am I still dreaming?

I melt into the kiss like ice cream on a summer day as we move in sync for a few seconds. I want it to last forever, but like all good things, this had to come to an end, too.

"Hey, girls, I was just— what are you doing?"

Em and I jump apart to see her father at the bottom of the stairs.

"Emerald Jane what are you doing!?" He demands. Of course, he knew. He knew exactly what we were doing.

His voice is venomous when he spits out these next words, his dark eyes staring straight into mine. They are definitely not void of emotion like they were when I met him earlier. "Get away from my daughter and get out of my house."

"But, dad—" Em starts defending me, but he cuts her off.

"NOW!"

• • •

halloween in 2006 was actually on a tuesday but it's friday in this story... Okay? Okay.