Shawn's POV

"I'm not stupid." I said. "Or crazy."

I looked up from the journal that Cole had bought me. Tori was still on her hospital bed. She hasn't showed much change but I didn't expect her too. I read online that people just come out of comas as if they had blinked. It's not determined it just happens. Her monitors were beeping at her sides giving me some reassurance that she's alive. It's been a few days since her last heart attack. It was almost like we started growing inside the hospital. We were each a plant and Tori was our sun, the way we clung onto her. Hoping the light would never go out.

The days have been lagging on too much. It got to a point where Suzie couldn't last longer, she wanted to go home and sleep in her bed. So now we all move around a lot. Coming to the hospital, leaving to go home, following routines we had to adjust. It hasn't been a lot of time but March was coming up or maybe it already was March. Time just clogged together. Like a roll of toilet paper in a toilet. Nothing was getting through except small details.

Everyone was already busy. Mom had to go to work, dad was searching for jobs. He'd spend most his time at the hospital but he and mom had an argument about money and hospital bills. It was the first time I saw mom and dad fight since they got married. Blake, Cole, and I were already having thoughts about a failed marriage. It was only one fight but if something happened to Tori it might lead to a full blown divorce. Maybe a couple months ago I would have been happy about mom and dad getting a divorce but now if it happened, I'd be really disappointed. If worse comes to worse, I could adopt Suzie. Get a nice certificate and hang it on the wall with her name and cute paw prints that border the edges.

She's a human-being Shawn, not an animal from the pound. It said.

Yeah but can I put a special request to have paw prints?

If I had a hand...or a face, I'd face palm.

My lips pursed and I shook my head to get the voice out. I sighed looking back at Tori, "Maybe I am a bit crazy." I tapped the end of my pencil against the book. After a week or so the doctors took the tube out of her mouth and replaced a ventilator in her neck. I didn't entirely understand how it worked but I wasn't going into Med school so it wasn't like it mattered to me. All I knew is that there isn't a tube down her throat, so she looks better. "I think I know I'm crazy but when people say I am...it's not that I take it offensively but it makes me sorta...sad."

Sadness was the main emotion at the moment. We were all experiencing it but now we're all trying to get back to the real world. Like Doctor Garcia said, we need to get back to our regular lives. It was hard to accept in the beginning, then we all had stuff to pay attention to. Blake was focused on soccer and teen parenting issues, Cole has his job and girlfriend, and I have books and Emily.

"I don't know if I'm explaining myself entirely." I added vaguely. "I mean...I guess what I'm trying to say is I'm not...stupid. Sure, I play games. I like to joke around. But I'm not dumb. If anything...I'm sorta smart. In my own way." I sighed and leaned back in my chair looking up at the ceiling of the hospital room. "It's like..." I trailed off. "I can be stupid at times. Sometimes I am clueless but when you think really hard about it, I have to be smart to make the jokes that I make. To play around. I also have to be confident, not care what other people think of me or what I say. That was always something I had. I don't take peoples words too seriously. Well...occasionally."

I sighed closing my eyes. "My oldest memories all involve my grandpa pulling pranks on me. They were stupid too. Amateur but it still made him laugh, it made me laugh. I like to laugh. It's scientifically proven you strengthen your lungs by laughing and it makes you live longer. So, laughing is good. Except if you die of laughter. I almost did. Chocked on a mint when I was eight..."

I felt my phone buzz and quickly pulled it out. There was a text from Emily asking how I was doing and if I wanted her to pick me up from the hospital. We were suppose to go on a date to the park and just sit on the grass and look at the clouds. My imagination runs wild then. I once saw a big fish eating a smaller fish with the smaller fish eating and even smaller fish. Like a chain reaction. When we checked the weather Em and I realized it would be a clear day and night, so we'd see the stars instead. I quickly answered her back and she added she'd be here in about an hour and she'd be bringing Mark to stay here with Tori.

Marks's basically a zombie. Spending his days at school or here. He'd go home a few times but mostly try to stick around at the hospital. Sometimes he'd be asked to leave because the nurses know he's a visitor. Some of the nurses have gotten so accustomed to him or see the pain in his eyes that they let him stay. I asked if they were allowed to do that, they'd shake their heads and say, "What visitor? They all went home."

I always thought the hospital was a weird and spooky place. They tend to have a history on Scooby-Doo shows or any haunted story. Everyone has their own perspectives of hospitals. Blake just thinks death lingers through the halls, waiting to find it's new victim. Cole says it's filled with brilliant people who are just hoping to help others. As for me, I thought there would be a fog machine at night and ghost noises.

"Anyways," I continued. "I like to categorize different kinds of methods that cause laughter. There are three in my book. There's stupid, cocky, and brilliant. Stupid as in, it's funny because the person does stupid things. They act stupid on purpose and make noises or do stuff that's just plain...dumb. Then there's cocky. When you're in class and you have that 'class clown' that feels the need to have to say something to the teacher or point something out that's funny, but cocky. If you're someone that actually likes the class, you tend to roll your eyes at that person. Then finally, brilliant. It's the kind of funny that comes from brilliance. You have to think but quickly. Improvise as if you're acting. It's like a sixth sense..." I paused my eyebrows coming together as I tried explaining it. "I guess its more complex than usual. But that's the key, you can't be simple. Everything is complex."

There was a moment where complete silence fell between us. In a way, talking to Tori helped. It felt like I knew I was trying to get all the words out of my head. After all, she's helped me way more than I've helped her. If there was anyway I could help her now I would. Just because of everything she's done for me.

My phone buzzed again with an alarm. I checked it and a smile grew on my face. "Cole told me to write down everything you're missing out while you're asleep. So I figured I should take pictures too." I moved in beside Tori and positioned the phone in front of us. In a high pitched, annoying voice I said, "Gotta take a selfie." And snapped the shot.

 I sat back down smiling at the picture as I sent it to my brothers and Em. It didn't take long before my phone was buzzing with messages from Blake and Cole, saying how messed up I am. It made me smirk how crazy they think I am. I only act serious around Emily. "Em and I are going to the park." I stated as my phone calmed down. "We were going to go watch the clouds but there aren't any. So we're gonna see the stars." I looked up at Tori but there was still nothing. "Promise you'll watch the clouds with us one day?"

Silence.

I leaned against my hand and stared at her. "Promise you'll be at our wedding then?"

Silence.

"Promise you'll make me waffles?"

Nothing but silence.

I sighed. "I've been writing a lot in this journal lately." My hands went around the small book. It could even be considered a diary. According to the dictionary a diary is just something where one keeps daily records and events, which is exactly what I'm doing. Plus, every so often I get an urge to write down a strange story. "Like, for example," I flipped to a random page and started reading off, "Day five or six, can't remember because days are weird now. You've been sleeping a lot. So much that sometimes I don't even know if you're alive until the monitor beeps. Suzie asked Mark to kiss you the moment they took the tube out. She quoted, 'Shawn said Tori is like Sleeping Beauty. And you love her, so maybe if you kiss her she'll wake up.' He didn't by the way." I said skimming through the rest of the entry. "He said it wouldn't happen because he had never defeated a dragon before."

I started to hum as I re-read some of the pages I wrote. One of the day's was when I went on a date with Emily to the library. It made me smile as I realized I was heading to New York with her. "I don't think anything could go wrong," I said aloud. "I mean...there's so much that can go wrong. But so much that can go right."

I flipped a page and saw one of the stories I scribbled. "So when I get bored I write stories." I explained. Sometimes when I'm reading I get strange ideas or plots that help me piece things together. Whenever I'm at school I'm constantly thinking of names or characters, or maybe ideas. I propped my feet up at the edge of the bed, as if I were lying beside Tori. "Actually this one is my favorite..."

"I thought I was dead." I read out. "After the incident, I thought I had died. The darkness had consumed me. The pain had left. And when I opened my eyes again I saw nothing but a light.

All the pain slowly came back. I racked my brain trying to figure out what had happened but everything was blank. 'Am I in Heaven?' I croaked to no one in particular.

There was a deep chuckle to my right. 'No.'

I sighed. 'I knew I'd go to Hell.'"

I read it over and over, editing small details that make a huge difference. I learned all sorts of punctuation and words from the books I had been reading. "Of course he's not really dead." I explained as I erased a word in the journal. "He's in the hospital and I'm still trying to figure out my main plot but I was going for mystery murder action suspension. That kinda stuff."

I talked more. Words just started free flowing out of my mouth as I told stories that made me laugh. I'd smile and shake my head, it just felt good. To have someone listen to my pointless topics. To know that even if Tori wasn't awake I'd still have this memory of me being with her. I probably spent all day talking to Tori. Time had passed by as I noticed the sun was setting. It wouldn't be long before someone else arrived.

I went over the stories of me with my real dad. How he took me to the zoo one day to see all the different animals. How I asked if there was a mythical section where unicorns, phoenixes, and griffins would roam around in their cages. The idea of being locked up didn't suit me, it looked like a boring and plain life. But just to be able to be so up close to animals that originally came from the other side of the world, made my little eleven year old mind so happy.

There was a tap on the door. "Hey," Mark poked his head in giving a small smile. "Your girlfriend is waiting for you in the lobby."

I nodded grabbing the straps of my backpack and swinging it over my shoulders as I stood up. As I made my way out the door I stopped and kissed Tori's head. "Take care of her, yeah?" I directed towards Mark.

He nodded, "Always have, always will."

"See ya later bro." Before I was out in the hallway I turned to look at him. Mark had taken his seat in one of the uncomfortable chairs, his hair was messy along with his clothing, a hint of a beard was growing from his lack of shaving, eyes tired like the rest of his body. Most of his sleeping was in school now. I'd have to make sure the teacher wasn't looking when she'd give us our history lectures. He'd come to the hospital and try to spend the nights here. Sometimes he'd come to my house and sleep on the couch. I doubt his parents have seen much of him these last couple of days. They'd swing by every once in a while, mostly because Mr. Bennett was getting his prosthetic's from a nearby department.

"She loves you." I said holding the door open and staring at my feet. "She called you her teddy bear and when you found out we were her brothers that day, I had never seen her cry like that. It was like you had broken up with her, which makes no sense because you were never dating. Honestly though, if I didn't know you two were best friends I'd say you were dating. You were always very...touchy. Holding hands, piggy back rides, sitting on each other. You just never got to the kissing part."

Mark looked down at his coffee. His voice was stale and hoarse. "I don't want to talk about it Shawn. At least not right now ok?"

I nodded, "I just need you to know that she really does love you."

"I treated her badly." He sighed, "I won't be able to live it down."

I couldn't help the emotionless smile that took the left corner of my lip. "It's funny how we're all caring now huh?" My head turned as I looked at Mark. "If she wasn't here right now, in this situation, would you have been so willing to forgive her? To actually talk to her and say you're sorry? To fix the situation you had created between you two?"

"I've been thinking the same thing." Mark went quiet for a few minutes as I waited for his answer. His eyes were burning a hole into the ground as he thought hard. "I don't know." He finally said. "It was hell doing that to her and to me. Now I know it was just stupid. But if this hadn't happened I'd still be thinking I was doing the right thing."

I looked up at the ceiling and leaned against the door frame as a small laugh escaped my lips. "Fate is a cruel thing. It's almost as bad as Destiny. Both those are just tools in someones head. You're Destiny is determined by your Fate. How weird is that?" The wheels in my head started spinning as I thought it over. "They're all linked together. A large web that leads to nothing but the same thing. Dreams lead to Hope, Hope leads to Fate, and Fate leads to Destiny. Instead of the circle of life, its the circle of everything."

Mark sat there for a second as I tried getting my thoughts together. "You know, what you're saying sounds brilliant, almost philosophical, but I don't get it." He said.

"Yeah it's hard getting into my head." I smirked checking the time. "Well I got to go. Take care man." I was closing the door behind me when I decided to walk back in. Mark watched me as I walked to the side of Tori's bed and kissed her head again while whispering, "Wake up dumb butt. Don't you realize that if you don't I'll have to handle the grizzly bear? I'd prefer not dying by the han-I mean paws-of an animal. Jeesh Tori, you're so selfish."

Mark chuckled. "Just get out of here man, enjoy your date with your girlfriend."

"And you enjoy yours." I smiled, pretending to tip at hat at him. "But next time if you don't bring flowers I'm kicking you to the curb for not treating my sister right."

I headed down the corridors until I reached the lobby. There was a small cafe next to the gift shop with a lounging area. I noticed mom was seated across from Em, both were giving intimate smiles as I felt a small surge of panic set in before I relaxed entirely. I hadn't had time to introduce Emily to mom yet. I'm sure this was a shocking to come face to face. But I knew that no matter what, mom would love Em. There was just no one that couldn't love her.

I approached slowly thinking of something to say. When they noticed me, both of them sat up straight raising their eyebrows at me. I gasped loudly. "Oh my god," I whispered loud enough for them to hear. I glanced at mom. "You must be from the alternate future! And you came to warn us about how robots descend from the clouds and start making us their slaves! I thank thee," I placed my right hand up and stood straight. "Live long and prosper my friend."

Mom turned to look at Em, "Sometimes I wonder if I ate a bad set of mushrooms or something when I was pregnant."

Emily giggled. "I thought he hit his head when he fell from Plant Crazy People."

"Hardy har-har." I sat beside Emily, taking her hand. Mom watched intently looking between Emily and I. Em blushed and tried dropping her hand under the table until I squeezed her hand softly. "Mom this is Emily."

"And I am finally so glad to meet you." Mom said as she leaned her chin on her hand.

Em nodded with a small smile. "I just hoped we would have met in better...circumstances."

Mom nodded looking down at the table before glaring up at me. "It's his fault. He never brought you home, which is completely surprising because he never shuts up about you." She waved her hands around as if dismissing ideas, "Me and Em that, Em and me this. We're going to the library. We're going to the movies. We're going to college together..."

I gulped and turned to look at Emily for a moment. She looked somewhat afraid of what mom was going to say next. "Well," I said trying to lighten the mood as I laid back in my chair. "What can I say? New York is cool. I mean, I heard the cockroaches are huge! Or! I could put a gator in the sewer, I wonder if that'll end up in CNN. Oh my god mom!" I ranted, "What if I was on the news?! I'd be famous! I'd be like, 'Yeah I put the gator in. He was happy. He went rawr!' Or maybe it'll get like, chemicals and stuff all over it and turn into a super gator! I can see it on the news already, 'Super Gator in New York's sewage. Can't be contained due to it's three thousand rows of teeth.'"

Emily squeezed my hand ignoring my rant, "Ms. Parris-"

"Mrs. Linean." I interrupted with my finger up.

"Right sorry," Em bit her lip. Her eyes were trained on the table while I smiled at her. She looked like a scared puppy, hiding and keeping eye contact to a minimum. Out of habit I reached up and tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear. Her blush grew to the tip of her ears as she gave me a quick look.

Mom's smile grew, "Either works. Don't worry."

I lightly elbowed Em. "Just don't call her Ms. Fiddle-shooper. It's her maiden name."

Mom gawked at me, "That is not my maiden name!"

My face went flat. "Then where did Fiddle-shooper come from?"

"From your substantial imagination, I can assure you." Mom shook her head in a disapproving manner muttering under her breath. "I wonder if I really did eat some bad mushrooms."

Em still looked shy and unknowing on what to do. "About the whole New York...thing...I've told Shawn, he just-I mean I never-"

Mom laughed softly causing Emily to stop her stuttering. "Honey," she placed her hand on ours, "Just remember what I told you a couple minutes ago. I mean...look at him."

They both turned to look at me, I turned my head back to see who they were talking about. "Who?" I asked, "The old dude with the cane or the middle aged man with what I guess is his wife?" I took a closer look. "Never mind, that's probably his daughter. There is no way that guy has a wife like that. Unless he's rich..."

You you idiot!

Me what? I asked back to the voice in my head.

They're talking about you!

Oh!