This is bullshit.

I should've expected it. I should've predicted it. But it's still bullshit.

The one girl – the one fucking girl I find worth chasing doesn't want to be chased. At least not by me.

I don't know what I expected. I knew she wasn't easy, but I didn't know it'd be this hard to get her.

Gabrielle fucking Perth.

Her name is haunting me in my fucking sleep. I'm a moody bastard these days because she's ignoring me. I know she's doing it on purpose, I just don't know what that reason is.

I thought she liked me, too. Not at first because I was impossible to her for a reason. I didn't want her to fall in love with me, but more importantly, I didn't want her to get to me.

Yet she still did.

I know that if she showed her interest in me, I'd take her to bed instantly, without a question. And that would be bad. Because I know how she's like. She'd probably think there's something between us that isn't possible (at least not for me and with me), and then she'd make her stay here impossible for me.

And there was also a part in me, that good tiny square of good I have left in my body, that told me I can't destroy someone pure like her because she deserves someone and something better.

But now, eight fucking months later I still can't stop thinking about her and I'm also starting to get a little selfish.

Because that tiny, delicate flower isn't all that delicate anymore. She transformed from a mouse straight to a tigress who isn't afraid to show her claws anymore. And I fucking love it.

It's a major turn on when she gives me shit back, not escape to the nearest corner and hide.

But now that I decided to be selfish and have her, she's just not reacting the way I wanted her to. I mean, I thought she'd be more than happy I showed some interest in her. Any other girl would have a fight for my attention. Because everyone knows I'm not a chaser. I'm the one being chased.

And now Gabrielle Perth is putting me to a test.

I don't even know how to make a girl go out with me. Because I never had to try for anyone. They were all standing in line to get a chance with me.

I know she has every reason not to believe me. But in all truth, now that I decided to finally stop fighting it, because it's getting kind of tiring and because I'd be capable of murder if I saw her with another guy, she doesn't believe me.

I don't even want to fuck her and leave her. I know once wouldn't be enough. She's a girl like that. When you have her, you can't let her go.

And she's leaving in a few months anyway, so why not have some fun, right?

It was probably that night that Ryder took her that changed everything for me. It opened my eyes. And that possessive beast woke up inside of me. Now, I want it to be me who's going to protect her. And comfort her.

Fuck, I'm becoming such a pussy.

I don't know what in the hell happened to me.

Who would've thought? Me, wanting a girl who doesn't want me back. Or she's just playing a game with me. Whatever the reason, I want to find it out and fix it.

I've been trying to talk to her, but she's good at ignoring me. And hiding. She makes sure that she's never alone when I'm anywhere near and she escapes as soon as she can into her room. It's getting a bit of annoying and a lot of frustrating.

And I'm starting to think about just giving up and let it be as it is. I can't really force her to be into me.

But who the hell isn't into me?

I need some weed. I've been in a need for it since Gabrielle escaped out of the kitchen that morning I cornered her. I've been trying to fight the urge, but right now, I'm in a terrible need to smoke something because I feel my mind's about to explode. It's all over the place and it's the worst feeling ever.

When I open the window and climb out through it, my evening just starts getting a little better, all thoughts about weed forgotten. Because the person I've been trying to talk to is sitting right there on that rooftop, like a present waiting just for me.

I have to smile at the sight of her. She doesn't seem to hear me, she's probably deep in her own thoughts, so I climb through the window as quiet as I can.

"Well, well, well ... Look who the cat brought," I say with a cheek-splitting grin.

Gabrielle jumps up at my voice. "Oh, God," she breathes. But she doesn't turn to look at me. She hastily starts wiping her face. She doesn't even stand up to run away from me like all these past weeks.

That's what makes me suspicious and my smile is soon replaced with a frown. I stand there on the rooftop for a few moments, just looking at her back.

I go to her and sit down, trying to look at her face, but she turns it the other way, hiding it. That's when I know she's truly hiding something.

"Am I that ugly that you won't even look at me?" I try to joke, even though my face stays serious and my voice is dry.

She doesn't answer me.

I rotate her towards me.

"No," she protests weakly.

But then I see her face – wet with tears, her eyes red and swollen. And I suddenly don't know what to say to her. It seems like my tongue sticks to my roof and I continue staring at her. No wonder she forcefully averts her gaze, losing my touch.

"What's wrong, Little one?" I ask her so gently I even surprise myself.

Fuck me. I'm totally becoming a pussy.

"Don't ask questions you're not interested to hear an answer to," Gabrielle says back hatefully.

Whoa. Where is this rage for me coming from? "And you would know I don't care because ...?" I can't help it; it always seems easy to get into a fight with her. Not really a fight every time, more like bickering when none of us takes it seriously.

Well, I don't. I can't say for her. Fuck if I understand what girls think.

"Please, Alexander, I really don't have the energy for this right now," Gabrielle says.

"Too bad because I'm craving some company. More precisely, your company."

Gabrielle doesn't answer me and I frown again. She doesn't have any witty comebacks? There must be something terribly wrong.

"Wanna talk about it?" I ask after some long moments of silence.

Gabrielle huffs in response.

I sigh. "Want me to hug you? Kiss you better?" I offer. I'm not even joking this time, I say it with all seriousness.

"I want you to leave me alone. You're good at doing that, anyway," Gabrielle surprises me by saying.

And, damn, how true these words are. I am good at leaving. Especially her. Because she wakes up emotions inside of me and it's easier to run from them than having to feel them.

"I'm not leaving now," I say softly, not even understanding myself why I keep trying with her. I had a chance to get the hell away from her when she asked me the first time.

But there's also a part of me that's keeping me from going. That part is also wanting to make her feel better and listen to every word she has to say that made her like this.

I doubt we're on the same level here. I wouldn't say she feels the same about it.

"Then it will be me that goes this time," Gabrielle says.

Fuck it.

I grab her before words even fully leave her mouth and lift her on my lap. There. Much better.

I feel Gabrielle's mouscles tighten, her body becoming rigid. "What do you think you're doing?" she asks quietly, sounding confused.

"I thought you were in a need of a hug. So that's what I'm giving you." I shrug casually like it's not a big deal.

Gabrielle leans forward, away from my chest, and turns to look back at me with a scrunched-up face. She looks adorable as fuck, but I don't think she even realises it. "Should I believe you suddenly became a nice guy over a night or you're going to show your true face anytime soon?"

I raise my eyebrows at her. "Nice guy? I wouldn't call myself that. I already told you that," I explain to her.

"Well, you're certainly not mean right now. So, I just want to know what happened and what changed," Gabrielle wants to know. She's cute as fuck when she's demanding.

It's so easy to get turned on by her. I should be embarrassed, but I'm not. It's hot – she's hot and I'm not even afraid to admit it anymore.

And to answer her question ... dude, if I knew that answer myself, it'd be easier to give her an honest, direct answer. I don't even know what possessed me either to act like that towards her. It's just an instinct, I guess.

Maybe I got tired of being mean to her when in all honesty I wanted to devour her whole.

I don't know, man. I just know she doesn't understand it. I was playing games with her before, pushing her away in every way I could think of, but now I decided to stop this game and just let it be.

And she thinks I'm playing a game now. Well, she couldn't be more wrong. This is all me, baby girl.

I can't help it. I put my palms on Gabrielle's face and brush her hair back. She doesn't flinch at my touch, doesn't even back away, she lets me touch her. And that's all I need – all answer I wanted for now.

She's not as immune to me as she's trying to make me believe.

"Nothing changed. Just realised some things." I shrug.

"Such as?" Gabrielle presses.

My lips quirk up in a smile. "That I like you enough to have you."

Gabrielle raises her eyebrows at that, staring at me in disbelief. "You like me enough you want to have me. Wait, do you actually think you can have me?" She furrows her eyebrows as if she's thinking about it.

My smile slips off my face. "Are you going to say you're not attracted to me? Not even in the slightest?" I wait for her to lie in my face.

Her eyes trail all over my face and down my body. It makes me shift under her. I'm starting to get a little nervous here.

"Your face isn't all that bad. And your body is kind of nice, I could say. But your attitude ... that's just a big no. It's a hell no."

I'm taken aback by her words.

Who the fuck even speaks to me like that? Who the fuck has the balls to do it?

"Little one ..." I say with a warning, not even trying to hide it now.

Gabrielle hears it, too. But she only rolls her eyes. "Stop this nonsense, Alexander. When I came here, you told me not to be in your business, and I wasn't. At least I tried not to be. But now you're trying to be in my business. And something's just not adding up."

I should've expected this, but I also hoped for a different response. "So, I tell you I like you and you're calling it bullshit?" I ask, getting frustrated now. I thought girls were way easier than this. This is just too much talking.

"You could put it like that." When she sees my face, she instantly continues. "I mean, how many girls have you told this to get them to sleep with you?"

Fuck, she knows me too much, apparently.

Gabrielle climbs off my lap when my silence answers her question. "Exactly," she says and hangs her head. Did I see a bit of disappointment on her face?

When she stands up, I grab her hand. "It's not like that –"

She stops me by lifting her hand. "Please. Don't think I'm that stupid." She shakes her head.

When she wants to go inside, I grip her hand even tighter. "Wait. Why were you crying before?" I try once more.

Gabrielle looks back and looks me deep in the eyes. I see so much sadness in her eyes, it feels like she threw a brick straight to my chest, that's how much her look hits me. "Nothing you'd be interested in. Go find girls who don't carry any baggage with them."

And this time, it's her that walks away from me. I can't help but think how everything I've done to her is backfiring on me.

I light up a cigarette.