I'm preparing a second cup of coffee for myself in the morning, even though the first one didn't help me one bit.

I feel like hell. It was another sleepless night for me – which is understandable. I've had troubles sleeping this past week, but tonight was the worst of them all in a while. Not in a bad way, really, I didn't have a nightmare.

In fact, what I dreamed of tonight still makes my cheeks blush. I don't even want to think about it. Especially when my dream involved the guy who was the reason I was having trouble sleeping in the first place.

I'm glaring at the coffee maker to make my coffee faster. It's safe to say I'm grumpy this morning.

And then I almost get a heart attack when someone presses directly against my back. I don't have to turn around to know who it is. My body senses it's him. And his smell is unmistakable – the smell of cigarettes, mixed with the manly scent and his cologne.

I've always hated the smell of cigarettes, but I'm starting to love it, especially on him. He wears it like it was meant only for him.

"Morning, Little one. You're a bit early today. Had trouble sleeping?"

I can just hear the smirk in his tone. It sparks my anger even more. What game did he suddenly decide to play? Screw Gabrielle's mind up? Yeah. Good luck doing that, buddy. It's been screwed up for a long time now.

"I could ask you the same thing," I say back with a tight voice. "Do you need anything?" I grit out, hoping he'll remove himself and give me some space to breathe because I suddenly feel like there's not enough air for the both of us in this room.

Alexander places his hand on my hip and my eyes instantly fall down to where he's touching me. "Yeah. You." He squeezes my hip as he says the words.

I have to grip the counter in front of me because my legs suddenly feel like jelly. I hate him. And I hate whatever he's trying to do. Because he's succeeding. And it's making me hate him even more.

When I flip my head around to tell him off, I come face to face with his glorious, naked chest and my mouth just stays open and I stay mute, staring at the skin he marked with the ink. I've never had a chance to look at his tattoos this close before so I have to take my time to look at everything he decided to put on his skin.

My eyes take in his broad shoulders, his hard muscles on his stomach where at least an inch of fat should be. It clearly isn't presentable on him. Damn him.

And my eyes go lower, only now noticing that he's standing here in only his boxers. Pressing against my body.

"Jesus. Couldn't you put some clothes on?" This is the first thing that comes to my mind. And the second I say the words, I want to slap my forehead.

Jesus Christ!

"Thought you'd appreciate this view a little better," Alexander responds cockily. I can hear the smile in his words again. And when my eyes snap up (not any higher than his lips, though, because I'm a moron this morning, apparently), I realise I was right – he has an arrogant smirk sporting on his lips.

My hormones are already crawling out of their sleep haze, stretching up, shaking their hips a bit, reminding me that I'm still a girl with a hot guy standing right before me. Pressed right against me.

"You thought wrong," I say dryly, my lie rolling from my tongue perfectly, although I want to lick every inch of his hot skin on display.

Jesus Christ.

I need that second cup of coffee.

I turn back around and brush against his body, making us both freeze.

Please, move away before I jump on you and embarrass both of us.

When I lean forward a bit to pour the fresh, hot coffee in my cup, Alexander hisses behind me, squeezing my hip again.

He leans forward so his whole body is pressed against mine, from head to toe, and presses his lips right against my ear. "No lace panties today?"

I spill some of the coffee.

I realise (too late) that I'm only wearing a long shirt and knickers and, apparently, when I lean forward, it rises up. I need to remember that. I stand up straight now, tugging the shirt down in discomfort.

I don't know what game is Alexander playing, but I really want him to stop and just leave me alone if he's joking around. I really can't let myself get hurt by him again.

"Move away, Alexander. Honestly, just go and leave me alone," I grit out through my teeth, my hands gripping the counter so hard it starts to hurt.

"Maybe if you give me a kiss?"

What the hell? Is this funny to him? Is he making fun of me? For whatever sick reason he may have?

"No," I say adamantly, staring straight forward, trying to keep my ground. "You can go kiss that girl that was all too happy to be kissed by you last night," I snort. I can't keep the sarcasm out of my voice, too.

Alexander suddenly turns me around. I gasp and lean back, as far away as I can to get away from him – and his magnificent chest. The ground between my feet seems to shake as I look into his Alexander's brown eyes.

I've never seen a more beautiful colour of eyes in my life.

"You think I kissed her?" Alexander suddenly says. When I try to look away, he grips my chin and forces me to keep my eyes right on his. "You thought I kissed her just after I was having you in my arms for hours?" His voice is getting incredulous. "While I still had your smell all over me?"

"I don't fucking know!" I shout. "Some girls get off on that. And it sure looked like a make-out session to me. But what do I care?" I manage a forced smile just to see his face fall.

He doesn't look all that confident now. But then, just as fast, a small smile lazily appears on his lips, distracting me. I flush at the memories of how soft they feel ...

Stop. You're ridiculous.

"You were jealous?" He asks it with a small, hopeful voice, like a small kid asking about a treat.

I roll my eyes, trying to appear like this doesn't bother me at all and I'm only annoyed by everything. "Of course I was," I say sarcastically. Although not much sarcasm is needed here. "And what reason do I have to be jealous?" I ask him sweetly.

And then Alexander puts his hands on the counter on either side of my body, caging me in so I can't go anywhere. "You tell me?" he breathes.

It's distracting. He's distracting with his almost naked body in front of me, his hair deliciously dishevelled and his eyes shining in nothing but danger. In a good way.

"Kids?"

I jump up a mile high at Rosanna's voice. I peek over Alexander's shoulder, almost fearfully, to see her standing by the door, having a confused expression on her face, but when she sees my face, her confused look transforms into a knowing one.

Alexander turns his head around to look at her, too, but he still doesn't release me from the position we found ourselves in. Or rather, the position he put us in.

I am so embarrassed about everything that's going on here. I know how it looks, both of us standing half-naked in the middle of the kitchen, pressed against each other. My cheeks flame in mortification.

Rosanna puts her hands up. "Reverse. Forget I even came here and continue." She shakes her head and turns around to go back out, but not before I see a small smile stretching her lips.

I use Alexander's distraction to remove his arm and finally escape away from that counter. And now that he's not standing so close to me, I can finally think clearer. Although I can see his whole body now more clearly and I just get flushed all over at how it felt it have it pressed against mine.

I need to get out of here, away from him.

"Listen, big boy. I don't know what suddenly got into your head and why you got from hating me yesterday to suddenly wanting to do whatever with me." I try to ignore how his eyes darken at my statement. I really do. "Go play your games with someone else."

I want to wink at him for a better effect, but I think that'll be too much, so I just settle on giving him a fake smile.

I grab my cup of coffee and go out of the kitchen before he can even say anything back to me, leaving him there, stunned, alone, and in nothing but black boxers.

I don't stop walking until I'm back in my room. And only when I get there, everything that really happened hits me.

And it confuses the hell out of me.

I don't know what to think anymore. I don't know what's going on with Alexander, but if this is his way of making fun of me or if this is his new way of tormenting me, he's going to destroy me more than he probably realises.

He's going to break me in the end, leave me in the pieces. There won't be anything of me left. Literally.

And I want to distance myself from him and these feeling I'm currently having, but some sick part of me is coating in his affection and his nice words, even though he most likely doesn't mean them.

That's the thing about other people. You never know how they truly feel about you, how they think of you and what intentions they have. We people are the masters of hiding our true faces.

I would know that.

And we people are the masters of lying about our feelings. We make others feel important to us, when in reality, they're not. And in the end, that breaks them. It shatters them.

This is the worst kind of destruction – to give someone so much power over you that they can completely destroy you.

It's hard for me to trust others. And if I decide to do it and someone breaks my trust ... I close myself to the world, shut myself out. Because it's way easier to push people away than to let them in just so they can leave with everything you gave them, leaving you empty at the end.

And Alexander ... he's giving me such mixed signals and such mixed emotions, I just want to go outside right now and scream out everything that's bottled inside of me. Maybe I would feel a little better then.

Maybe the echo of my scream or the silence as an answer would give me the answer I'm searching for.

•••

I don't stay long in my room. I drank the coffee and took a shower to wash Alexander's smell off me because I smelled his cologne on me. Although it smells pretty good, it bothered me and it messed with my emotions even more.

I think the answer to my previous questions is pretty simple, although it's harder to act on it. I'm afraid to believe in anything good in him just for the sole reason of being afraid that I'll be only disappointed at the end. Because he makes me ache for the things I can't have.

And he's among those things.

I can't ever let myself think I can have him. Make him like me. Or, God forbid, make him fall in love with me.

That's such an absurd thought that I started laughing while I was showering and I had to stop washing my body for a second because I crackled up so much.

And I knew then if I hadn't started laughing, I'd break down into sobs. So the laughter it is.

And then after that, after I finally got rid of the remaining of this morning (if only I could get rid of my memories, too), Amelia came to look for me.

I was almost afraid to get out of my room and go down into the kitchen, but when I got there, Alexander was nowhere to be seen and everything else was just the same.

Nobody knew anything happened. The Earth was still moving the same as before. Maybe mine not the same as others'.

Only Rosanna looked at me with a glint in her eyes that sparkled from pure happiness.

I didn't dare to say a word to her.