I'm so comfortable in Alexander's embrace that I could probably fall asleep. I'm warm and I'm comfortable just resting against his chest. I feel safe and content.

I just sit there and listen to the conversation that's going on, not really bothering to include myself in it. I enjoy what I have and how I feel because I know it's not going to last. I know tomorrow everything will be different than it is now.

It's like I keep hurting myself on purpose. Or at least I keep letting him get to me and hurt me. I already admitted to myself that my feelings for him have changed a lot. I don't know when it happened, I don't even know how it happened. I just know that he's not a person for me and I shouldn't have any hopes and daydreams about us ever happening. It's not possible.

I should've prevented it from happening. I should've stopped it when I still had a chance. But I enjoyed his attention. I cherished it. Even thinking he might've changed, too.

I already know how's this all going to end. I'm going to leave heartbroken and he'll probably not even know since it feels like he's not capable of feeling anything else than hatred.

I should kill this hope inside of me before it kills me.

"Gabby, we're heading home soon. Are you coming with us or are you staying here with Alex and he'll take you home after?" Sam questions me at some point.

Once again, Alexander answers for me. "Take her with you. I've got some plans for later."

I swallow the bile of hurt that formed in my throat. I don't even dare to ask what his plans include. I don't even dare to think about them.

I don't know why I'm so hurt by his words. I should've expected them. Does he even know what's he doing to me? Or he doesn't really care at all. He might be even doing this on purpose because he's a sick bastard like that.

All this overthinking is killing me.

I manage to get out of Alexander's grip and stand up, trying to look unbothered. "Sure, let's go. I was getting tired, anyway," I say cheerfully.

I don't look back at Alexander when we head away from the circle.

"I'm just going to say a quick hi to a few pals before I leave," Sam says, walking towards the circle of people that are gathered around the bonfire.

I don't leave her, so I grab her hand and go with her, just to be sure I don't lose her. I'm still not completely okay being in a crowd of people out in a night and I'm still panicky looking around me if I'll spot Ryder anywhere.

But even if I do, I know I'm safe with Sam and Snake. Even with Alexander being nearby. We make a big circle around just to make sure Sam greets really everyone she needs to. I don't complain because I get a closer look at the bonfire and its magic and it's warmer here.

And when she's finally done throwing her greetings, we finally head towards the car. We have to go past the circle where we've been sitting the whole night and when I look at the spot where Alexander was before, it's empty.

I don't know whether to be happy or start wondering where he went.

Stop it. You're acting like a jealous girlfriend already.

But I spot him the next moment. If I didn't look there, I wouldn't see him. I don't know why I looked. Some force, maybe?

I wish I didn't though.

When I stop walking, Sam stops too. She takes one look at my pale face and she instantly looks what I'm looking at.

"Oh, that bloody bastard," she grits out.

Alexander is standing by the tree. He's not alone – of course, he's not alone. There's also a girl, pressed against that tree. They're close to each other and I can't say for sure, but it looks like they're making out. I mean, what else would they be doing?

And when the girl tilts her head, I see it's that brunette that was with us the whole night. I haven't spoken to her and I think her name is Aimee or Jane or something like that.

Sam tries to go towards them, but I catch her by the hand. "Don't," I plead her. Because it's worthless. He doesn't owe me anything.

"You sick bastard! You couldn't even wait until we left?!" Sam screams on top of her lungs.

By now, everyone's silently watching the scene in front of them. Some of them are high out of their mind or too drunk to care, so I'm not really bothered by them.

Alexander turns his face to us, but it's too dark and he's too far for me to see his expression.

I don't even care. This told me everything I needed to know.

And this is what I needed to kill every drop of hope I had in my body.

I should thank him, really. For opening up my eyes. Although it hurts. It hurts like a bitch.

"Let's just go, Sam. Please," I beg Sam, on the verge of tears now. I think she hears my shaky voice because she puts her arm around me and leads me away from the scene without any other word.

I want to cry, but I don't let myself. I just numb everything. If I don't feel it, it doesn't exist, right?

I tell myself I don't have any right to be hurt or offended by this. I'm still surprised how quick he went to find someone else to have fun with.

My, God, but what else could I expect from him? He's a player, he can have any girl he wants, why would he settle for only one? And for me out of all of them?

On our way to home, the car ride is quiet and filled with tension. Sam tries to talk to me about different things, but I don't budge. I just want to be alone right now to get over this in peace. It'll be better in the morning. I just need to sleep it off. It's still too fresh to think about it.

When we arrive in front of the Holt's house, Sam offers to stay with me once again. I chuckle and brush her concern off. "It's not that deep, Sam. Really. He can do whatever he wants to, he doesn't owe me anything."

"He's gonna come to his senses one day, pretty face. And he's gonna beg you to give him the attention he's so desperately rejecting. Believe me."

I smile at her words. "I might learn not to care anymore about it until then." Even though I believe he's never going to change. I don't let myself hope anymore.

Sam gives me a big, tight, warm hug that lasts for long minutes. It helps me and I take that comfort she willingly gives me.

And then I'm on autopilot. I shower. I head to bed. I put my earbuds in. And I turn my music up so loud that I drown every thought that tried to come up on the surface.

•••

"Gabrielle."

I sigh but keep my eyes closed.

"Gabrielle!"

Something tumbles against my door and I jump up slightly.

"Open up, Gabrielle!"

I blink rapidly. I recognise that voice. I could recognise it anywhere by now, that's how etched in my brain I have it. And I decide to just ignore it. I don't know what he wants and, frankly, I don't really care. And if he thinks I'm sleeping, he might go away and leave me alone.

I even think about putting earbuds in my ears again and turn the music up.

"Open up or you'll stay without your door. I'm not kidding, Little one, I wanna talk."

"What the hell do you want to talk about at three in the morning?" I blurt out in anger because I just couldn't help myself. And I regret it instantly. I should've just put the pillow over my face to prevent myself from saying anything stupid.

"About you and me," comes Alexander's instant response. It makes me suspicious.

"Me and you?" I snicker. "Don't make me laugh. Did your company get bored of your bullshit already?" I say bitterly. My emotions are getting the best of me. I'm cranky because he dared to wake me up in the middle of the night and I'm still hurt by him possibly kissing some other girl.

As if he can't if he wants to, my stupid brain reminds me.

"Open your door, Little one."

"No. Break it down for all I care since you're such a bad and strong guy, after all."

"Gabrielle." I hear the warning from the other side of the door.

I choose to ignore him.

Something hits my door again, the sound echoes loudly in the otherwise quiet house. "Do you want to wake everyone up?" I hiss at him, now sitting up on the bed, cursing him in both French and English.

"If I have to," is his arrogant response.

I groan to myself and put my head into my hands. And then I stand up, unlock the door and open it, coming face to face with Alexander. I make sure he sees my angry glare.

I step out on the hall and close the door to my room. No way in hell is he going to come in my room. I lean back on the door and cross my arms, tapping my foot impatiently. "The hell do you want?"

Alexander smirks. He actually has the decency to smirk at me. "Are you over your jealousy fit?"

I scrunch my nose at how much he stinks of alcohol. "Jealous? You think I'm jealous? Of whom?" I pretend I don't know what he's talking about, trying to turn it into a sarcasm. I won't give him the satisfaction of knowing how much he has gotten to me.

Alexander gets serious and comes closer to me. He's invading my personal space and I'm getting even more suspicious now. "Are you seriously going to dare to stand here, look me in the eyes and lie about it?"

I lift my chin up higher, staring straight into his eyes, showing no fear and no defeat. "Yes. Because I'm not lying," I lie.

Alexander lifts his hand and touches a strand of my hair, rolling it between his fingers, a smile marking his face. "Uh-huh," he answers. "Do you sleep with your hair down?"

My forehead scrunches. What the hell is he on? "You're not only drunk, but you're also high? Again?"

Alexander slightly cocks his head on the side, never breaking our stare. "I asked you a question, Little one."

"Yeah. So did I, Sin," I can't help myself provoking the beast.

Alexander's eyes flash dangerously and his fingers stop playing with my hair. He leans his head forward, bringing our faces so close, so close that our noses are touching. "Don't call me that. I don't ever want to hear it from you."

I lift my eyebrows up. I'm confused. And I don't think this is an appropriate hour to deal with him. I have no energy and my mood is really down tonight. "No? But you said – no, you demanded I call you that when I came here."

"But I can change my mind, can't I?" Alexander throws back.

I shrug, our bodies touching at my movement. I feel his body harden at my innocent move, his muscles straining against his clothes. "May I ask what's the reason?"

Alexander's eyes fall down to my lips, a smirk playing on his lips again, before he lifts them back up. "Since I heard how sweet my name sounds coming from your mouth, I never want to hear you calling me anything else."

I stop breathing. Completely. Did I hear him correctly?

My God.

My God.

Is this the drunk talking in him? Or does he really mean it?

MY GOD.

I'm internally screaming and trying to keep the calm on my face.

Alexander suddenly buries his hands in my hair. "If I were to kiss you right now ... would you let me?"

"No," I say without even having to think about his words. Even though my brain is screaming yes all over and my heart is jumping up and down in a cheerleader skirt, holding the sign that says: hell yes, slam that mouth on mine already, I refuse it. Because just hours before, he was probably using the same lines on another girl. And I'm not playing this game with him.

"May I ask what's the reason?" he uses the words I said to him minutes ago.

I try to act as nonchalant as I can in a situation like this. I'm afraid I'm actually going to faint if he says anything sweet to me. Because my heart might be acting like a cheerleader right now, but it's in no shape to do any difficult exercise, especially the kind that Alexander's words make it do it.

"Just hours ago you were kissing some other girl. And now you dare to ask me I'll let you kiss me? I'm not that easy, sweetheart," I mock him.

The bastard smirks again as if I said something funny. "I know that. If you were, you'd be in my bed right now and you wouldn't have time to form any intelligent words."

My body flushes all over at his words and it starts tingling in all the right parts. "So arrogant? But you know what they say; the ego usually doesn't match the truth."

Alexander groans in frustration. "Such a feisty little thing. You're tempting me on purpose, aren't you, baby?" he murmurs, his lips now close to mine.

I actually put my hands on his chest and slowly push him away, or at least try to because he doesn't budge.

"So, you're actually that kinda girl that wants to have a relationship, huh?" Alexander wonders.

I freeze. "So what if I am?" I say defensively. He said it like that's a bad thing.

"But not with me, I assume?"

"Are you offering?" I throw back.

Alexander shrugs. "Depends on what the answer would be."

I smile lazily. I put my finger on his lips, tracing them, enjoying how soft they really are. "Wanna hear my answer?"

I hear his breathing speeds up. "Desperately," he breathes.

My smile grows even bigger as I lean up on my tiptoes and get as close to him as I can. "I deserve to be treated better than you treat me, Alexander."

And I use his shock to push him away from me, go into my room and slam the door right in his still stunned face.

🙋🙋.

👆👇