On Friday, Rosalyn and Alfred inform me that I can have Saturday and Sunday off. I'm happy about the news until (I don't even know how), Sam comes to visit, telling me she heard I have free and that we should go somewhere.

My immediate response was a definite no. The last time I went somewhere with her, I regretted it more than anything I can remember. Sam is cool, but I doubt she hangs out in the places I would be interested in.

I tell her I'll be very content sleeping at home, thank you very much. But Sam's response is an expression that reads, Did you just say what I think you said?

I silently answer her with my adamant stare. Yes. And I meant every word.

"No," Sam says, shaking her head before I can even finish the thought in my head. "We're going out and we're going to have fun."

My face stays stoic. I'm determined not to let her convince me. "I told you, Sam, I'm not going anywhere. Especially not to a place where Alexander will most likely be at."

Sam throws her head back and groans. "Geez, girl. Just tell him to fuck off if he's bothering you. He speaks English, he'll understand."

"Can't you take someone else? Someone who's more exciting than me and will actually have fun?"

Sam levels me with her deep stare. "What are you talking about? You're exciting and you're going to have fun, I'll make sure of it."

Sam has right, but it's my overthinking mind that bothers me too much to easily agree. I'm a closed-off person and I like being by myself. "I don't know ..." I trail off. "When do you want to go?"

Jesus, I'm fucked up. Which 18-year-old has trouble meeting new people and doing everything to avoid them? Me, apparently. Because I'm pathetic.

"I'll pick you up at 9, okay? Wear something hot." She sends me a wink.

"I don't have anything hot."

"The hottest thing you have, pretty face. Wear it."

•••

"I would call you I was here if I had your number," Sam greets me when I enter her car. I guess a simple hello would be too ordinary to expect from her.

I look at her as I fasten my seatbelt. "Well, if I had a phone, I would probably give it to you."

Sam's already looking at me and judging by her expression, I see I shocked her and made her speechless. She puts one finger in the air. "Hold up. There are two things that bother me in your sentence. What the hell do you mean you don't have a phone?" She pauses. Then, she lifts up the second finger. "And what the hell do you mean you would probably," she raises her eyebrows highly at this part, "give me your number?" she finishes.

"Boooy, you're full of attitude tonight, aren't you?" I joke. But I quickly get serious when I see she doesn't even crack a smile. I clear my throat and stare out of the front window instead. "I don't have a phone because I don't need it. And about me giving you my number ... well, not everyone can earn to have it." I give Sam a crooked smile.

Sam chuckles to herself and turns up the car. "I bet Sin would be the one getting it," she mumbles as she gets us on the road.

I give her a look. The look that is nothing but full of confusion and thoughts that maybe I haven't heard her correctly. "Excuse me? What do you mean by that? He'd be the last person to get my number."

Sam hums. "Mmm. Are you sure?"

"Ha! I get it now," I laugh. "You're only messing with me, yeah?"

Sam glances at me sideways and I get serious again.

"Why, yes, I'm sure I wouldn't want to give Alexander my damn number. Not that he'd even want it, but I'd have no reason."

Sam purses her lips, nods and hums again. I want to smack her head. Instead, I only huff, cross the arms on my chest and stare forward, sulking. Because why would someone – especially Sam – make comments like that about Alexander and me? We hate each other.

"You dressed cute, by the way. Not what I'd choose, but it's really cute," Sam says with a straight face.

"Thanks, I guess?" I leave it as a question.

Sam doesn't respond. I see we're going to the same place we went to the last time.

When she turns off the car, I make no move to get out. "No," I say firmly. "I'm not going there again."

"Why not?" Sam asks. "I promise it'll be better this time. You already met the worst people there are to meet, it can't get worse than that, I promise. And I'll be by your side the whole time."

My shoulders drop. "Seriously. I hate it here."

"Tell you what," Sam says. "Let's go tonight and if you don't like it again, I'll never ask you to come, okay? Just give it one more chance and then decide."

I let out a sigh. "Fine," I say, getting out of the car. "But if I don't like it, I'm not coming back again."

Sam chuckles. "You have a deal."

When we get near the scene, I hear the motorcycles. The sound doesn't scare me anymore. I'm prepared for it. The crowd is a bit bigger tonight than it was the last time and people are a bit louder.

And this time, I spot Alexander right away. It's not hard. He's surrounded by girls who wear close to nothing and the loud cheering of guys in appreciation. He's on his motorcycle, revving up the machine and driving around in the middle of the circle, showing off his tricks. Looking at him makes my heart skip some beats sometimes just from the fear of being a witness of something terrible happening to someone.

I have never been presented when someone hurt themselves, and in this case, I believe he would hurt himself terribly. I don't want tonight be my first night to witness any accident.

But Alexander seems to know what he's doing. He's confident and he's clearly enjoying himself if I judge by the wide grin on his face that's getting wider when the cheers get louder.

I don't even have to force myself to look away when he lifts up on the rear wheel.

Snake appeared from somewhere when I was watching the scene in front of me and Sam was holding a plastic cup out to me. "Are you up for a drink?" she asks.

I grab the cup and smell it. "What is this?" I ask with a grimace.

"Try it," Sam says.

I take a small sip, having my eyes on Sam all the time and she's looking right back at me. As the substance from the cup hits my tongue, it burns and I forcingly swallow it, even though my first instinct is to spit it out, and it burns down my throat all the way to my stomach. It also makes me want to vomit. "What the hell is that thing?"

Sam gives me lopsided grin. "I see I'll have to go easy on you. It's vodka, by the way. Pure."

I shudder. "It's disgusting," I say, but take another sip.

Sam shakes her head at me. "Don't worry, you'll get used to the taste."

I doubt. I think this is my first and the last glass of it. Do people actually drink this and enjoy it? Because the taste is absolutely horrific.

"You know, the best way to drink it is to down it all at once," Snake tells me. Sam gives him a sharp look and he shrugs. "What? You know it's true, I'm only trying to help."

I stare in the cup, thinking no way in hell can I drink this in one gulp, but I also can't drink it slowly. The taste is ... disgusting. And because I'm stupid enough to listen to Snake, I bring the cup to my lips, close my eyes and down everything at once.

Tears spring into my eyes and my stomach clenches, my throat closes up at the burning. I have to take a few long moments to finally open my eyes. I shudder as the after-effect hits me.

"Watch out, we've got a badass here," Sam whistles lowly, having a big grin on her face as she's nodding her head at me. I feel like a daughter who just made her mother proud. How ironic.

"Come on, let's go watch the show now." Snake puts his arm around Sam and leads her toward the centre and I tag behind them.

We go to the front, pushing through people. And as I stand there, waiting for it to begin, watching all the girls hanging all over the guys, giggling loudly and batting their eyelashes, I feel the vodka start to work. I start to feel hot and my head starts to feel funny. I feel funny overall.

The guy from last time – Ryder/Spider comes to us. I step back a little bit, feeling intimidated. I don't want to deal with him again. "Hey, Hot stuff. You up for a challenge?"

I lift my chin higher. The vodka made me feel a little bolder. "No, not if it includes you, no."

"Oooh!" Sam applauds me. I don't look at her.

Ryder's mouth perks up in one corner and he lowers his head, caressing his jaw. "I wanted to take you for a ride of your life, but I see you're too much of a ..." He looks me up and down, "coward."

I purse my lips. You're so original. Tell me something I don't know.

Alexander drives to us right then. I didn't even notice him near us. He nods at Sam and Snake. "Yo, Sam. Snake." He does a handshake with both of them. Then his eyes coldly fall on mine. He doesn't greet me, doesn't even acknowledge me. His eyes go directly on Ryder and his jaw clenches.

"Hello, friend," Ryder teases, flashing him a wide grin, leaning forward on his motorcycle, seeming to have no worries at all.

"What do you want, Spider?" Alexander asks him coldly, staring at him like a predator. He says his name like it's degrading, like it's something disgusting and unworthy.

Ryder looks at me and nods his head at me, causing me to shrink a bit to myself. Because I don't want his attention. "Asking your roomie here if she wanna go for a ride. With me," he emphasises the last two words.

"Which I don't, I assure you," I tell Ryder sweetly with a glare.

Sam leans to me. "Take a ride with Sin," she whispers in my ear.

I lean away from her and turn to face her fully, staring at her like she's lost her goddamned mind. "What?" I whisper harshly. "Are you insane?" My eyes open widely.

"If you want Ryder to leave you alone, ride with Sin."

I shake my head and I instantly regret it, because everything swirls in front of my eyes for a moment. Can vodka really affect you this much? I haven't even drunk that much. "No. No way, Sam. I'm not doing that."

She shrugs. "Have it your way, then."

Ryder is suddenly in front of my face – or rather, his hand is. He puts his hand on my cheek and caresses it. I flinch away from his touch, feeling disgusted. The vodka is threatening to come up. "What do you say, gorgeous?"

I take a sideways glance at Sam who's watching me with her arms crossed in front of her chest, staring at me with her raised eyebrows, watching quietly at how I'm going to react.

"Alexander!" I say loudly, still looking at Sam. "Got a free spot on your motorcycle? I want to take a ride with you." I meet Alexander's eyes then. A lump forms in my throat as I meet his surprised eyes.

Dear God. What have I done?