I wake up early. Looking at the clock tells me it's a few minutes after four in the morning. I give up on sleeping because I know it's no use and there's not a chance I'll fall back asleep.

I had a nightmare again. I'm not even surprised. I don't remember when was the last time I had a nice dream. Usually, I wake up in the middle of the night screaming or crying out or even crying. Sometimes I just wake up with a gasp. And sometimes the nightmare will chase me until the morning. These are the worst because a lot of things happen at once and I just can't stop it.

I lay in my bed, staring up at the ceiling. I don't let myself think about anything. I'm starting to learn how to do that and it's helping me not to overthink things and I also get less panicky.

But I still have two hours to spare. It's still dark outside, but I decide I should go out for a bit. Not far away, just go for a walk and get some fresh air before the sun rises high and it gets hot.

I take a shower and then quickly dress in black leggings and a tank top with a jacket on top. And then I go out of my room as quietly as I can, walking through the completely silent house without making too much noise.

Lucky people who are able to sleep at this hour.

I manage to get out of the house without waking anyone up and then just walk to the street, looking left and right, trying to decide where I want to go.

I choose left and I walk to nowhere in particular.

•••

I'm just finishing up my breakfast when Rosanna walks in the kitchen. She stops when she sees me and her eyes look at the clock. "Good morning. You're early today," she greets.

I swallow the yoghurt down and then reply, "Good morning. I couldn't sleep." I shrug and look down at the table, acting as if that's a simple explanation.

"And you've already eaten. Yoghurt only?" Rosanna asks, still not moving from the spiot she stopped.

I look down at the yoghurt, half-empty already. "Yeah. Not that hungry."

Rosanna tsks and shakes her head. "While I'm responsible for this kitchen, you won't have only a yoghurt for breakfast, kid." She says this like it's a final thing and she won't allow any arguing. She already starts rummaging through the cabinets before I can even open my mouth to say anything back.

"No, it's fine. I really don't eat that much ..." I trail off when she sends me a stern glare.

"Yes. I noticed that, too. And that is going to change," she decides. "I'm going to make pancakes. And you have no excuse not to eat them."

I don't argue with her any further. I know it's no use because she sounds final. "Alright. But you have to let me help you," I tell her my condition.

Rosanna looks at me for a moment, narrowing her eyes. "Come here, then," she says on a sigh, giving up.

I happily oblige and go help her prepare breakfast for the family.

Alfred is the first one to come to the kitchen. He says he doesn't have time to eat breakfast because he has to go to work.

"Who's going to eat all of that, then?" I ask Rosanna.

He startles me when I hear him speak after a few moments. "Well, we won't throw any food away, huh? I guess I can take a few minutes."

Rosalyn comes down after a few minutes with a blabbering Amelia in her arms. "She say when I grow up, I can have a puppy!"

Rosalyn looks at her daughter in her arms, staring at her for a few moments. "Of course, baby. You'll get to have as many as you'll want to."

"Gabby!" Amelia squeals as she sees me. She grins widely and I return the smile. "I'll have a puppy when I'm big like you," she tells me happily.

My smile turns even bigger. "Nice!" I exclaim. I look at Rosalyn who's still staring at Amelia with a sad expression and then at Alfred who's leaning on the counter with a cup of coffee in his hand and looking at his wife and his daughter.

Amelia demands to go down on the floor and she has to wiggle so Rosalyn finally snaps out of her thoughts and puts her daughter down. She runs to Alfred and lifts her arms. "Up, daddy," she says cutely.

Alfred puts the cup of his coffee on the counter and lifts his daughter in his arms, lifting her high in the air, making her giggle loudly before he settles her on his hip.

"Pancakes. Yippie!" she says once she sees what's for breakfast.

I put my finger on the centre of her nose, pressing softly. "You like pancakes?" I ask her. She tries to move her head away from my finger and when she doesn't succeed, she grabs my hand and removes it away, scrunching her nose up.

"I love them!" she says. Then, she wraps her arms around Alfred's neck and puts her head on his shoulder, watching me and Rosanna make pancakes – lactose and gluten-free, of course.

Just a few minutes later, the breakfast is ready and we sit down, listening and laughing at Amelia. She has way too much energy, even at 6 in the morning.

Alfred is the first one who leaves. I know Rosalyn and Amelia appreciated having this morning with him. They're not together a lot, but when they are, I can see in their eyes and their actions that they love being with him.

Rosalyn leaves soon after that, kissing Amelia. "You two can go out today if it's going to be nice weather, which it seems like it'll be."

I nod. "Yeah, she might go on a bike again."

Rosalyn's face passes something darkly but it disappears right away. I would miss it if I wasn't watching her face. I wonder what the deal in this family is, what they're hiding that's apparently something very dark and, I assume, sad.

"Yeah," Rosalyn says breathily, panicky looking around her. I notice her hand going to her necklace and it starts playing with it. A nervous habit she seems to have. "Yes, that would be nice," she smiles tightly, her voice more composed this time. "Have a good day."

Before I can say the same to her, she's out of the door. That was odd ...

Amelia helps with cleaning the table and the kitchen. And, God help her, if I'm ever this happy about cleaning, my life will be so much easier.

Just as I'm cleaning the table, almost finished, Alexander strolls in and carelessly sits on the chair.

Alexander intertwines his hands together and puts his elbows on the table, resting his chin on them. "What's for breakfast?" He looks directly at me.

I only stare at him with my cloth in my hand. Is he serious?

Rosanna puts the pancakes back on the table. "Here you go," she says hastily, putting the maple syrup in front of him.

Alexander looks down at the food and raises his eyebrow. Then, he starts eating, without even thanking Rosanna. Of course he wouldn't do that. That would mean he had a heart.

I shake my head and put the cloth away.

When I look at him again – literally glaring at him, a piece of pancake drops on the table. Alexander pauses and looks at it. Then, a smug smile appears on his lips and he slowly lifts his head to look at me. "Oops. Guess you'll have to clean that up."

Amelia starts singing something, twirling around the kitchen. Alexander briefly glances at her, but his eyes fall back on me.

"I don't think so. I'm not your maid," I tell him with pure disgust, crossing my arms on my chest.

Alexander's eyes ignite and sparkle up at me defying him. It's like he's always challenging me to fight with him. What a sick, sick person he is.

Alexander drops another piece, this one on the floor. "Oh, yeah? Are you gonna neglect your duties?" he drawls with raised eyebrows.

I scrunch my face. "What duties? I'm here to babysit your sister, not to clean up after you, you pig."

Alexander drops another piece down on the table.

"Can you stop doing this with food?" I sound mad.

Rosanna comes from somewhere behind me, resting her hands on my shoulders. "It's okay, I'll clean it up."

I look at her as if she's lost her mind. "No. No, you won't. He will." I stare at Alexander, narrowing my eyes at him. I'm playing a dangerous game, but I'm getting good at it. And I'm just starting to enjoy myself.

Alexander stands up suddenly and throws the remaining pancake on the table.

I swear if I had a gun right now, I'd shoot him. Without a doubt, without a second thought. "Are you insane?" I raise my voice up, but I'm careful not to shout because of Amelia. I'm sure she's watching everything that's happening.

Alexander only switches his cold, dead eyes to Rosanna. "Go ahead. Clean it up. You're paid to do it."

And the asshole, fucking stupid, egoistic jerk, only turns around and starts walking out of the kitchen. I bite down on my lip, hard, but I still can't stop myself.

I run after him. "What the hell is your problem, Alexander? Do you have mental problems or something?"

Alexander doesn't look at me, doesn't stop walking. He lifts two fingers up in the air and salutes me.

I'm going to kick him in the head, God help me ...

I run after him and push his back, making him stumble forward. "Looking at how you act it makes me think you were raised by animals. You have no manners at all!" I sneer at his back.

It all happens fast. He turns around and gets intimidatingly close to my face.

"You ever say something like that again, Little one, and you'll regret you were ever born. Keep my parents out of your mouth. They're too good to speak about them, even for you."

I'm shell-shocked at his reaction and his words. I don't move, not that I can. I don't breathe. I don't blink. I only stare at him, his words replaying in my head all over again. I want to say something along the, "So you do have a heart ..." but I can't even open my mouth.

Lifting my head up a bit higher, I just stare at his eyes, willing him to do anything he wants to me, wanting to see how far he will take it, challenging him with my look that clearly says I'm not as afraid of him as he thinks he is.

Give me your worst, Sin.

Alexander's black emotionless eyes stare right back at me. He shakes his head.

Alexander's eyes go to my collar bone. As if he can't stand to look in my eyes anymore. They stay there for a few seconds, his expression unreadable.

And now, he looks almost regretful.

I finally move, pulling my hair forward to hide my neck. This snaps him out of his stare and he sends me an indescribable look that is too fast for me to guess what it meant – if it even meant anything – before he turns around, his back to me. He pulls the collar of his leather jacket up and starts walking without another glance while my eyes burn into his back.

As he slams the door after he exists, my eyes close, my hands trembling as the rush of a shock starts disappearing and the adrenaline in my body stops working. My God. Will this be happening the whole year I'll leave under this roof?

"Gabby! Can we go outside?" Amelia appears from the kitchen, having her fingers in her mouth so the words come out muffled. I remove them gently from her mouth.

"It's a bit too early to go outside. Want to play with Barbies until then?" I ask her gently.

Amelia grins and nods. "Alright," she says. It's cute how she's still missing the 'r', making it sound like alight. "Come," she tells me and takes my hand, moving me away.

I relax my whole body and try to remove all the dark thoughts that entered my mind before.

Damn you, Alexander. I didn't let all those people destroy me. I won't let you do it, either.