Before we start this chapter, here's a quick trigger warning. This chapter deals with alcohol use and a small bit of blood imagery. I know it's not a big deal for most, but I also know that it can be unpleasant for some. And this chapter is just kind of angsty in general. Now we've got that out of the way, enjoy the chapter.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

I had texted our friends and everyone was up for going to the mall. Even Zane, surprisingly. He said he'd go as long as Jay did. So the seven of us met up in the food court. We decided to grab something to eat first. We were all getting different food from different places from around the food court, but I decided to not leave Lloyd's side. I followed him and decided to get whatever he did.

Lloyd stopped infront of a little burger place and got a cheese burger with fries. And I got a burger, too. But we also decided to share a drink and fries and just split the cost. We got our tray and sat down next to our friends at a big table in the middle of the court. The mall was actually really empty. People rarely came here anymore. So we were probably the only group of people in the food court other than a few people here and there, but the place was so big that there was tons of space between each group of people. I don't even think they could recognize who we were. Which is probably good. Lloyd has told me about harassment from random people that he gets in public. So it's good to be in an empty place.

When Lloyd and I sat down next to our friends in a large booth seat, we all began to eat. We would make small chat because not much has happened since we all last met. Occasionally, Lloyd and I would reach for the same thing at the same time. We'd both go for a fry or try to take a drink. And then we would both just sit there and wait for the other to go ahead.

"You two are so awkward. It's kind of adorable," Nya laughs as she takes another bite of her food.

"What? No we're not," Lloyd objects.

"Is this your first time out on a date like this?" Kai asks.

"A date? This isn't a date," I say, a bit flustered.

"It kinda is. You're both sharing a meal together as a couple," Cole adds on.

"What? No, it can't be a date if you guys are here, too," I protest once again.

"There's no rule that says that," Kai jokes.

"Well, then I guess we're on a date," Lloyd smiles as he rests his head on my shoulder, nuzzling his body into mine. "You're cute," I whisper into his ear.

"Okay, you guys are actually the cutest couple," Nya smiles.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

After we all finished our food, we went to head off to the arcade. As we were walking, I remembered something.

"Hey, Lloyd."

"Yeah?"

"You know those bracelets we got the last time we were here?" I ask.

"Sure," Lloyd replies.

"Well, I haven't taken mine off," I roll up my sleeve to show him. And it's still there. The same rope bracelet that we got a while back.

"I still have mine on, too," Lloyd smiles as he shows me his.

"Huh," I grin. The both of us blush and just smile at each other.

As we walk into the arcade, Lloyd, Jay, Zane, and I all know where we wanna go. We look at each other and nod. The four of us walk to the shooter game after we get our tokens. Where we first met. Kai, Nya and Cole probably go off to some other games.

We put our tokens in the game and play a few rounds. Zane is just as good, as always. A couple rounds turn into a couple more. And a few more after that.

We eventually decided we had had enough of the game and switched to a different one. All around, we had a pretty good time. And the seven of us together had accumulated quite the stack of tickets.

"So what do you guys plan on getting?" Cole asked excitedly as he clutched his tickets in his hands as we approach the prize counter.

"Probaly nothing on the back shelf," Jay says,"you can almost never get anything back there. So I'm probably going to stick to my usual. And that's getting as many army men as I can possibly get."

"That's like... 500 army men, Jay," Kai laughs. "You should see how many I have at home," Jay smirks.

I stare intently at all of the prizes. I want to get Lloyd something. He got me a plush dog last time, but the only thing I got him were these cheap rope bracelets. I know he's still wearing the bracelet, but I still want to get him something else.

I look back over to Lloyd. And he's spending all of his tickets on... candy?

"What are you doing?" I chuckle.

"Getting candy," he smiles brightly.

"Why? There's a million better things you can get," I continue to laugh.

"Because it tastes good," he simply responds.

"You're weird," I nudge him.

"Yeah, but you love me," he retorts.

My smile fades just a bit. I really wish he would stop saying 'love.' It's too strong of a word to describe our relationship so far. I'd say it's more along the lines of "I really, really, really, really like you," not, "I love you."

"So what are you gonna get?" Lloyd interrupts my thoughts.

"Hmmm..." I stare out across the prizes once more with my hands stuffed in my pockets.

Then I see a plush dragon resting on the back wall. And I have just enough tickets to get it. I point to it and one of the employees gets it for me in exchange for my tickets. I have a few left over.

I hand the dragon to Lloyd. "He's for you," I smile.

Lloyd looks to me after he picks up his paper bag full of candy off the counter.

"Me?" Lloyd asks.

"Yeah, who else?" I tease.

Lloyd slowly takes it from my hands and looks at it with a soft smile. "Thank you," he looks up to me with a warm look. "You know, other than the matching bracelets, this is the only gift someone's given me... well, other than my mom and Wu... But... You know what I mean," he nervously giggles.

"Don't mention it. It's not that big of a deal," I smile.

As Lloyd goes to show everyone else the gift, I look over the things on the cheaper shelves when I spot something that catches my eye...

A ring. I don't know what it is about it, but I get it. It costs 25 tickets, but for some reason, I just felt as though I needed it.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

After we were all done at the mall and we all said our goodbyes, Lloyd decided to walk home with me. This is the first time Lloyd's ever walked to my house. It's always me walking to Lloyd's place. I don't want him to come in, though. My house smells bad and it's a mess. Also my mom is obnoxious and doesn't like Lloyd. I know my mom let's me go to his house, but that doesn't mean she has to like him.

Lloyd and I walk side by side. He has his dragon plush tucked into his arm and his bag of candy in his hand. Occasionally he picks out a piece and pops it into his mouth.

"You want some?" He offers.

"No thanks," I giggle.

"Suit yourself," he shrugs as he rolls up his bag of candy and holds it gently to his side.

We continue to walk in silence and I can't help but notice Lloyd staring at me. But he's staring down. At my leg or something? I don't know what he's looking at. He continues to stare a little longer until we get into a particularly empty alley way.

"Hey... (Y/N)..." he looks up at me.

"Yeah?"

"Can I uhh... can I hold your hand?" He finally asks.

I chuckle. "Sure."

I grab his hand in mine and our fingers intertwine with each other's. I notice Lloyd try to hide his smile out of the corner of my eye. And I figure no one else is around to see, so I give him a little kiss on the cheek. His face goes completely red.

"(Y/N)!" He gasps. I just laugh at him.

He's so cute and he makes me so happy. There's so many things I want to tell him but I just don't know how.

The two of us get closer and closer to my house. I live on the more... less ideal side of town. Lloyd seems to not care for it, so I walk a bit closer to him and I feel him grab my hand a little tighter. This part of Ninjago City has a much higher crime rate, too. Lucky for me, I've never seen it happen. I've only seen things on the news. I know Lloyd has been to this side of the city tons of times to stop said crimes, but I can see why that would kind of make him nervous. The only time he comes here is to stop crime. And right now, he's without his suit. Fighting without it could definitely raise suspicion.

I notice Lloyd grows more uncomfortable by the second.

"Do you wanna turn around? I can walk you home so you don't have to walk down here by yourself after I go home," I propose.

"I dunno, (Y/N)... It's kind of scary out here..." is all he says in response.

I can see how being the most hated person in the city and also walking alone in the place with the highest crime rates can be concerning.

"Then I can totally walk you home instead," I say in a calm tone as to try and ease Lloyd.

"No... no- I'm The Green Ninja, I can handle it," Lloyd suddenly tries to assure himself.

"You sure?"

"Yeah..."

"Okay, because my place is just a few houses down," I say as I point to the general direction of my house.

Lloyd nods, but continues walking shoulder to shoulder with me. He doesn't want to leave my side.

We slowly approach my front door.

"You want me to come in?" Lloyd asks, releasing my hand from his grasp.

"Well, no, not really... my mom can be a little..." I struggle to find the right word.

And that's when my mom opens the door.

"I thought I heard voices out here- (Y/N), what are you doing?" She says in a tired, unamused voice.

I groan at the fact that Lloyd has to witness my mother. "Mom, I was just about to head inside. I'm just saying bye to Lloyd," I sigh as I rub my temples and hide my face in embarrassment.

"Lloyd... Lloyd Garmadon?" She asks angrily.

Oh no.

"Yes mom. Lloyd, my friend," I say, exhausted. I don't want to deal with this right now. Lloyd just sits and stares.

"I told you I didn't want you talking to him," she snarls in a low voice that was still very audible to Lloyd.

"What? You literally told me I could hang out with him earlier today!" I exclaim.

Lloyd looks a bit uncomfortable. "I think I should just go-"

"No you're not, you're staying right here," I grab his arm, not breaking eye contact with my mom.

"Wh- why?" Lloyd asks with a troubled tone.

"My mom is going to explain herself, and then apologize," I say, narrowing my glare.

"I never said I wanted you near him," my mom says sternly.

"What is wrong with you? You told me earlier today it was fine! After you went on some tangent about how you were sorry about how you treat me- and let me guess, you didn't mean any of that either? It was probably another one of your drunken rants, wasn't it?" My face becomes hot with anger. I still have ahold of Lloyd's arm and my grip unintentionally tightens.

"Maybe it was! God, you take everything I say so seriously, you should know by now-"

"Know what? Know that you can't stand me? That I can't trust anything you say because you're nothing more than a drunk who doesn't give two shits about their own son?" I explode. My mom redacts out of offense and an angrier expression begins to grow on her face.

"(Y/N), please, I really want to go home!" Lloyd cries out.

"Mom, you may not care about how he feels, but I do. Apologize to Lloyd," I demand.

"Get in the house," my mom ignores me.

"Apologize," I insist once again.

"Get in the house, (Y/N)," she commands, gritting her teeth.

"God, you have to make everything so difficult! Do you never consider how I feel? Do you ever think of anyone but yourself?" I go off some more.

That's when I hear the faint sniffs and whimpers from Lloyd. My mom and I both look at him as he's wiping away his tears with his jacket sleeve.

"Lloyd..." was all I could think to say as I let go of his arm.

"I'm- I'm sorry... I just want to go home now, please," Lloyd begs.

"No... I'm sorry Lloyd... do you want me to walk home with you?" I offer.

"I can walk myself," Lloyd states bluntly as he turns around and walks off.

And just like that he was gone. I look back to my mother.

"You ruin everything for me!" I scream, "he probably hates me now!"

"Good," she huffs.

I run in the house with hot tears pouring down my face. I go to my room and slam the door behind me and I collapse on my bed. I shove my face deep in my pillow as I sob into it, soaking it with my own tears.

This is all my fault. I can't even blame this on my mom anymore. Lloyd probably hates me all because I insisted he walk home with me. This never would have happened if I weren't so fucking stupid.

I lay in bed and just sulk in my own sadness for what feels like ages. I feel like absolute shit. My mom hasn't tried to talk to me at all, thank God.

I slowly sit up and leave my room. My eyes are still red and puffy. I see a light come from beneath my mom's door. She's probably just ignoring me and trying to avoid me at all costs. I walk out into the living room and see what I must have missed earlier.

On the counter are various bottles of alcohol and empty cups.

My mom must have been drunk since this morning... when she apologized to me...

A part of me felt it wasn't sincere in the first place. And another part of me forced myself to believe all of it because an apology from my mom is all I've really ever wanted.

My emotions continue to overwhelm me, clouding my judgement and just making me feel so awful.

Fuck it.

I grab the bottle closest to me without even looking at what it is and take it back to my room.

I plop down on my bed and read the label.

'Vodka'

I've never drank in my life. I don't even see why anyone would ever even want to. What's so special about this stuff that makes people keep wanting more? It's just a drink. That's all it is.

I pop off the lid and sniff it. It definitely doesn't smell good. I can only assume it tastes just as bad.

Out of curiosity, I put my mouth to the rim of the glass bottle and take a swig. I get most of it down until I cough up the rest of it onto my shirt, making a mess. It tasted absolutely disgusting. People enjoy this?

Out of the smell and the taste, the only thing left that people could possibly enjoy is the effect...

I sigh as I put the lid back on the bottle. I smell like the gross liquid, but I don't bother to change my clothes. I figure Lloyd is probably home by now.

Maybe I should text him...

I pick my phone out of the pocket of my hoodie and shoot Lloyd a message.

I see the three little dots that show Lloyd is typing. They stay there for a while, occasionally disappearing and coming back up seconds later.

"Idk"

Idk? He took all that time typing and all he had to say was "Idk?"

"Why didn't you just let me go home when I asked to go?"

Message delivered.

Not opened.

I'm such an idiot. I should have let him go when he wanted to. I just should have listened. I never listen. Not to Lloyd, and especially not my mom. My mom and I, we're always back and forth with each other. Neither of us listen to each other. We've both obtained the mindset of "if I'm not listened to, then I shouldn't have to listen to anyone else." Which isn't healthy. And now I'm treating Lloyd the way I do my mom. If only I had just stopped to think. Maybe it would have gone differently.

I pause and look back over to the bottle still laying on my bed. I wish this stuff never existed. It doesn't do any good to anyone. And I know it's not the source of my problems between my mother and I, but it sure does feel like an instigator.

I just want to know what it does to people. What about it makes them act the way they do and why it leaves them wanting more.

I just...

I just have to know what it's like.

I pick the bottle back up and remove the cap. I hesitantly put it up to my lips and tip it so I can taste the bitter liquid once again. I got two big drinks before quickly removing it from my mouth and coughing a little bit of it back up. My eyes water from the pain in my throat. I bite my lip and hold my eyes closed before reluctantly going in again. My coughs getting louder each time I try to drink more.

The sudden realization of what I'm doing hits me hard.

What am I doing?

I look at the bottle and realize I've drank more than half of what was in it. Man, I'm stupid. I sit in bed for a while and I lost track of the time. I probably stared off for an hour. I just stared off at one of my walls, rethinking earlier events. My vision goes a bit foggy and I get a bit dizzy.

I look at the bottle in my hands as I grip it tightly. My hold gets tighter and tighter and I see my palms go white from the pressure through the clear glass. I squeeze harder and harder until the bottle breaks in my hand. I shocked even myself. I didn't know I had the strength to do it.

The bottle didn't break into very many pieces but the smaller bits got stuck in my hand. Blood begins to drip down my hand and arm and onto my bed sheets.

"Fuck..." I quietly groan as I get up from my bed, trying to avoid getting anymore blood on the sheets.

What do I do...

I glance over at my phone.

This is a bad idea...

I pick up my phone and try to text Lloyd. Between my foggy vision and the fact that I'm typing with one hand, my message is almost incomprehensible.

I hope he can read that.

"What happened? What's wrong? Why are you typing like that?"

was all I could type. The amount if blood gushing from my hand was now becoming concerning.

"What are you talking about?"

"(Y/N). Did you drink something?"

"What was it?"

"Vodka?"

"Oh my god, stay where you are. Don't come to me, I'll go to your house."

I then put my phone in my pocket and stumbled over to my window. I open it up and not so gracefully leave my room. I make my way to the direction of Lloyd's place, struggling to keep myself walking in a straight line. It's hard to keep my balance but I manage. I walk for what feels like hours because of how slowly I move, but I know it couldn't have been hours because I'm still somewhat close to my house rather than Lloyd's.

I hold my hand out as I walk, examining the crimson liquid dripping from it. I didn't pull any glass out of it because I know it'll just bleed more.

Man... It's not even 8 PM and I'm already a mess. The sun had just gone down before I left and as I walk it only gets darker and darker.