Quick disclaimer:

Before we start, this chapter does mention some things that may be triggering for some readers. I don't want to spoil anything that happens in this chapter, but just know that I'm not trying to use these topics as some character quirk. I know people actually do suffer from these types of things and I'm not trying to use them in a romantic light or anything. I just bring them up in this chapter because I feel like it's important to address.

With all that aside, here's the chapter.

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A couple days passed since Kai stopped sitting with us. He didn't sit with us again afterwards. And when it comes to Zane and Jay, they had always been the target for bullying, but it had gotten even worse for them since they started hanging out with us. They said that it would be for the best if we all talked in secret. We don't talk with Zane and Jay anymore at school. Instead, we have each other's phone numbers. But it seems like Jay and Zane are pretty awkward texters, so we still don't talk very often.

Lloyd doesn't like the change. He had been looking forward to having new friends, but ever since they stopped associating themselves with us at school, I can tell he's been a bit... depressed.

It was after school on a Thursday. I was sitting in bed, doing nothing. My usual routine. Until I get a message from Lloyd.

"

"What happened? What's wrong?"

"On my way."

Without questioning it, I hopped out of my window and tried to make it to Lloyd's house as quick as possible. I went out my window because I didn't feel like explaining where I was to my mom.

I tried to walk to Lloyd's house as quick as I could. When I arrived, I delivered a knock on the door. I patiently wait for Lloyd to answer and it takes him a while. When Lloyd does answer the door, his eyes are red as if he had just got done crying.

"Hey..." he greets with a dull tone.

"Lloyd? Is something wrong?" I ask.

"No... nothing's wrong... I shouldn't have messaged you like that, you can go home..." he says, dismissive of his own feelings.

"Lloyd, something is wrong. You can talk about it..." I say, stepping a little bit closer toward him, signaling that I would like to enter his home. He steps aside and let's me enter. I assume his mom is at work.

"What's wrong?" I ask once I've entered the house.

"I dunno..." he says as he looks down at his own feet.

"Lloyd... Is it something about school?" I try to pry a response out of him.

"...Maybe..."

"Tell me about it," I sit down on his sofa and he sits down next to me.

"...I just... I can't keep doing this anymore... I can't take being there. I hate it. I hate it so much..." he says with a shaky tone in his voice.

"Why?" I know exactly why he hates it, but I figured it's probably best to get him to talk about how he's feeling.

"...Everyone... leaves me... and not just at school..." he says. It's not the response I expected, but I understand what he means.

"You mean Jay, Zane, and Kai?"

"Yeah, but it's not just them..." he says, which surprises me.

"Who else?" I ask.

"...My dad..." He sniffles a little bit and his eyes water up.

"I'm sorry..." was all I could say. I didn't really think he would be too upset without his father in his life, but I'm not him. I have no idea what he's feeling.

"Everyone leaves! My dad, my family, my friends! I'm just so... useless!" He exclaims as his tears become heavier and he tries to wipe them away.

"You're not useless..." I say.

"Then why are they all gone?" He asks. He has a pitiful look in his eyes.

"I don't know... But you still have your mom. She doesn't think you're useless... I don't think you're useless..." I explain.

"She probably does. I've never done anything good in my life. All I've done is disappoint her. She deserves so much better than me!" He cries.

"What have you done to disappoint her?" I keep asking him these questions. I know he's crying, but hopefully he'll just let it all out and feel better afterward.

"A while ago... I..." He chokes up on his own sobs, "I did something really stupid... so stupid..."

"What did you do?"

"I did something she really didn't like... I hurt myself... on purpose... she was so upset..." he continues to cry.

I was taken aback by the statement. I didn't think Lloyd would be the type to do something like that.

"She's not upset at you, she's upset for you. I'm sure she's not disappointed... just concerned," I try to make him feel a little bit better.

He doesn't say anything. He just holds his face in his hands, attempting to cover his tears.

"Come here..." I pull him in for a hug and he wraps his arms around me. He sobs into my shoulder and I'm just trying my best to comfort him.

"Everyone hates me... I hate myself..." he chokes, "I wish everyone would stop leaving me... I wish I wasn't so stupid... I wish he didn't leave me..." He continues to cry within my grasp.

"Who, your dad?" I ask.

"No... Chen..." He finally separates himself from the hug and sits up, rubbing his eyes.

"...Chen?" I'm definitely confused.

"I didn't tell you... but... we used to be best friends..." he says.

"You?... And Chen?" I ask, still not understanding the situation.

"Yeah... Until he finally realized how pathetic I am..." he cries.

"You're not pathetic... what happened?" I ask.

"We were pretty young when we started to hang out... maybe first or second grade... But then...when we got a bit older... my dad... He ruined everything like he always does... Chen realized how much damage he could cause... He left me alone... He never talked to me again, unless he was making fun of me... He said if my dad is the way that he is... then I must be, too. And he's probably right. All I've managed to do is tear people apart. My mom said she left my dad shortly after I was born. I'm the reason they're not happy," he explains.

"That's not true... your mom is so happy to have you. I'm so happy to have you," I say.

"No... she definitely wasn't happy when she saw me hurting myself..." he says, "it's my fault for being stupid enough to do it... And it's my fault for being stupid enough to keep doing it..."

"Lloyd... are you still... hurting yourself?" I ask with hesitence.

He says nothing. He only holds out his arm to show that it's littered with fresh cuts. He had to have just done this. There were barely even any scabs forming yet.

"Lloyd... no..." I say as I run my hand over his arm. There are both old scars and fresh ones. "This isn't healthy... there's better ways to show how you're feeling..." I say.

"That's the point. I don't want to show how I'm feeling, I just want to keep it to myself," he sighs.

"Lloyd... I never would have known... Please... don't do this again... you can get help..." I say.

"I would if someone actually wanted to help me..."

"I want to help you," I look him in the eyes.

"...Why? Why do you care so much?" He asks.

"You're my best friend..."

"Yeah, but why? What have I done for you?"

"You don't have to do things for people in order for them to like you, Lloyd. I just like you because you're you."

"But I'm... so... annoying... And I never do anything right..." he says.

"You only think those things because you keep telling yourself that. You need to realize that you have good qualities, too," I tell him.

"Like what?"

"You have so many good qualities. You're smart, nice, and above all, selfless. I've never once seen you put yourself above others. Especially being The Green Ninja. You care so much about everyone in this entire city that you would risk your life to keep them safe," I explain.

"I want to know good qualities about me, not The Green Ninja."

"I don't know why you always separate yourself from The Green Ninja. You are The Green Ninja. I know you said you have two separate personas, but you're still you. The Green Ninja's qualities are still your qualities. But if you really wanna know more, you're a very forgiving person. You were able to forgive Kai, and from how you've talked about Chen, it seems that you're willing to forgive him," I say.

"It's not that I'm willing to forgive him. It's that I still have feelings for him," he says.

"That's understandable. When friends leave without warning, it's hard to let go," I explain.

"No, you don't get it. I really like him... I used to want to be... more than friends... And I still... have those feelings..." he looks ashamed at his own words.

I was a bit shocked. "Oh... I... had no idea..."

"I'm sorry... this is awkward... you're the first person I've told... I didn't mean to come out like this... not even my mom knows... I won't be mad if you're weirded out..." he says as he refuses to make eye contact.

"No, it's fine! I completely support you... It's just... I never saw you ever having feelings for Chen," I say.

"I know... I'm sorry... I know I shouldn't like the guy who treats me... treats me so poorly. I don't know what it is about him... I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry. I'm glad you feel comfortable enough with me to tell me," I smile at him. He actually smiles back at me. It's the first time I've seen him smile all day.

"Promise you won't tell anyone, though?" His joyful expression changed to one of worry.

"Promise."

"Thank you so much... I don't know what I would do if people found out... I can't imagine being bullied for both being the son of Garmadon and for... ya know... liking... a guy..." he looks away.

"No, it's fine. I totally get it," I smile at him.

"Thank you," he hugs me, and I hug him back. We have a hold on each other for quiet a while.

After we both pull away from the hug, I figure I've been away from home too long. My mom would probably flip if she ever found out I was gone, but I really don't want to leave Lloyd by himself. Especially since he showed me his... his scars. I don't want him to keep doing this stuff. It's like I never want him to leave my sight again. I at least don't want him to get the chance to do it to himself again.

"Lloyd... I need to go... But please, please promise me you won't do anything to yourself again? I don't like when you get hurt... I hate it..." I beg.

"...I promise..." he looks as though he's lying to me.

"Lloyd..." I say sternly.

"Okay, I won't. And please don't tell anyone about it?"

"I won't tell anyone as long as you quit doing it for good."

"(Y/N), you can't tell anyone!" He wines.

"Like I said, I won't tell if you stop. Because I really care about you and if you keep doing it, I want to get you help," I explain.

"..." Lloyd just looks at me and says nothing.

"Lloyd, please."

Lloyd sighs in defeat, "...okay..." he drops his head, but still manages to make eye contact with me.

"Good..." I smile at him. "I gotta go now. My mom is probably gonna kill me, but I'm glad we talked... please... please stay safe," I say as I stand up and walk to the door. Lloyd just sits on the couch as his eyes follow me across the room.

He smiles back at me, "I will."

"Bye, Lloyd."

"Bye."

I exit his apartment and take a big deep breath. I really, really don't want him to get hurt... or worse... I can't lose a friend like that. I care about him too much.

I begin to walk back home. I'm not in a hurry this time, so the walk home will probably be longer than the walk here. I know I need to get home before my mom notices I was gone already, but I can assure you that if she was gonna find out, she would have already.

As I walk, the events that just unfolded replay in my mind.

Since Lloyd came out to me, I don't know if this increases my chances with him or not. Because he did say he likes... Chen. I can't believe Lloyd could ever like Chen. He's a disgusting human being. I can't stand to even be around him. But I'm glad Lloyd told me. This just means he actually trusts me with his secrets. I'm glad he holds me as close as I do him.

I wish Lloyd could see how much I like him, though. And that he would feel the same way. But wishing won't get me anywhere. And it's not like I can just force him to like me. I guess I'll just have to live with knowing that we'll only ever be friends. And I'm okay with that. I'd rather be his friend than not know him at all. But it does hurt a little to like someone and for them to not like you back.

At least Lloyd promised that he's stay safe. That's all I'm asking for.

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Thank you for reading this chapter. I know a lot was going on in this chapter, but I hope it was at least enjoyable. I know I mentioned self harm, but I feel like it was important to address. I see a lot of other fan fictions that address self harm and mental illness like it's nothing, or just use it to make a character look cool, but that's not what I'm trying to do. I guess I'm trying to write Lloyd as realistic as possible, and with all of the trauma that he goes through, I do feel like self harm would be a side affect to that. I'm sorry if it makes anyone uncomfortable, this is just how I've decided to write Lloyd's character.

As always, feedback is important. If you feel like I could have better addressed the more serious parts of this chapter, let me know.