I poison my own Mind with lethal thoughts

Of dissatisfaction,hatred,Anger and unworthiness!

Hating my own self for "who I am"

What I am?

I wish I could see the Good,

Others see in me!

But I guess am blind!

I wonder what,

Attracts them to me and fall for me?

I wish I could see myself

From their perspective

But my Eyes seem

To have faded away!

All

I see is,an empty

Broken,Sad,lonely dying Soul!

I lost sight of my vision

My dreams and mission

The future seems useless

And death seems to be the

Only

Visitor to bring me peace!

I sit and wonder

Could it be

My so called friends

Who left me?

My family or school?

My past?

Hmm my environment?

Or my high expectations?

But I still can't figure it out!

I some times think

Suicide could be of help

Coz life without a mission

Is not worth living!

Am I just puzzled!

Or what others call a sweet life

Is what my buds can't detect

We seem to be worlds apart

I in wonderland,and them in reality!

Will I ever catch up with them?

Or am made to pay for my past sins?

Some one tell me why,why me really!!

I wish but "wishes" won't change

Who or what I am?

I dream and hope for

The Best but the worst unveils

It's self every time I try more

Harder than before,

Oh,Gash what a life!

What a world!

I pray my life flips

Through this rough scenes

So that I see the light

Many are seeing

Feel the joy and happiness

That I missed and crave you

Set me free from mental illness!

I really

Wanna sit around

Those I call a family

And have a feat with them

One day!

THANKS 😊

(Last poem in this book)😊