Chapter Twenty-Eight

Finding Hope

It was a hazy summer afternoon.

Savannah was sat underneath the ash tree reading up on a book her grandmother sent her.

There were a couple pages left of the book yet Savannah still didn't know how she felt about it.

It didn't deeply touch her or teach her a life lesson she didn't already know.

She simply read it, because she thought it was going to go somewhere it didn't.

She sat and thought about Leon like she did about a million times a day.

It was bittersweet.

She smiled to herself when she thought about the memories they shared as her heart broke every time she realised that those were all she had left of Leon.

She missed him deeply, more and more as the days went by.

His voice, his touch, his face, his heart.

Some days were harder than others for Savannah, but she was glad she had the strong shoulders of her parents to lean and cry on when she was feeling weak.

It was all a part of the healing process as her mother would say.

But nothing could fill the emptiness and loneliness that Leon had left behind.

That was the thing about Leon, he was such a huge part of Savannah's life that she never realised that she was seriously lacking in friends, friends that she needed now more than ever.

She thought about Mitchell, she hadn't heard from him in what felt like eternity.

She checked her phone about a million times a day to see if he responds to her messages and missed calls, but nothing.

She couldn't blame him, she just felt worse and worse as the days went by.

Ben had been spending most of his time with Savannah.

They'd watch movies together, play sports together and just hang out together.

Savannah found herself smiling and forgetting her worries that often keep her up at night, whenever she was with Ben.

It blew her mind, the kind-hearted gentlemen that Ben was growing into, she found herself often staring at him in awe and pride of everything that he is becoming.

Words couldn't express her gratitude towards Ben, he didn't have to do all that he was doing, but his efforts to uplift Savannah's spirits was something she felt she could never thank him enough for.

Her older brother on the other hand, was a different story.

Despite his team winning the championships, Mike seemed dull, he wasn't strutting around the house with arrogance like he usually did, which irked Savannah, yet she oddly missed.

She couldn't pretend that some of that wasn't her doing.

She felt bad about rejecting Mike so dismissively, but she didn't regret it.

She was feeling conflicted.

If Leon's tragic death taught her anything, it's that life is too impeccably short to push away loved ones, yet she wanted to stand her ground.

She wasn't going to forgive Mike in an instant after her dragged her through hell for a year.

At least not without an apology.

She peeked inside her house through the kitchen window, her mother was making dinner as her father sang Michael Bublé to her.

Christmas was definitely underway.

She watched as her mother fought a smile as she tried to concentrate on mixing the pot, then as her father embraced her mother from behind.

Savannah smiled to herself.

She didn't' know much about love, but all she knew was that she wanted someone who makes her as happy as he parents make each other.

But perhaps another time.

Savannah didn't trust her heart enough to let it run wild and find love. Not yet anyway.

She closed her eyes as the gentle summer breeze blew, listening to the trees rustle, feeling the sun on her skin, smelling the aroma of her mother's cooking.

Taking everything in.

There were times when she'd feel Leon's comforting presence.

They had so many memories together in this very spot.

She smiled to herself just thinking about it.

She could smell the daises Leon stuck in her on the night of her birthday.

She could see the lit up ash tree branches Leon decorated on that same night, reflected of Leon's misty eyes.

The swing that was tied to the branch that the pair of them broke when they decided to sit on the swing together when they were in fourth grade.

This was the place Savannah and Leon, laughed, cried, kissed, fought, made up, got hurt and celebrated each other's lives.

Her backyard was a place that had great significance, a safe haven.

A place where she could relive all the memories she had with him.

She felt that as long as she had that, she will be ok, Leon will live in her heart forever.

With that final thought, she opened her eyes and was face to face, with no one other that Mitchell himself.

Savannah couldn't believe her eyes.

She stared at him unbelievingly, struggling to find words to push out her mouth.

She did this all the time. Getting too caught up in her own thoughts that she completely shuts off the world

His dark curly hair had grown from the last time she'd seen him, he looked relaxed, yet thoughtful, eyeing Savannah with his eyes that were as cobalt blue as she ever remembered them.

She didn't know if it was because she missed him or because she felt an overwhelming amount of love for him but she never realised how breathtakingly beautiful Mitchell is.

His pale skin glowed and stood out like snow, blanketed by his dark curly hair.

Light stubble surrounded his mouth, he looked different, yet the same as Savannah had always remembered him.

"Hi, Savannah," he said in a voice that was strong yet soft.

Savannah was finding it extremely difficult to read Mitchell, he looked like he had a lot in his mind, but it was a shock to Savannah to see him so... fine.

"Mitchell... I-Hi, how are you?"

He sighed, "I wanted to apologise for not getting back to you sooner... I just wanted to give myself time to heal... so I could strong enough to be there for you," he finished softly.

Savannah felt an overwhelming rush of mixed emotions, she was confused, guilty, appreciative and ashamed at the same time.

"Don't apologise Mitch," said Savannah without looking at him.

From the corner of her eyes, she could see his face slightly light up.

"We're both grieving... we should be there for each other, to build each other up when we both feel down." Said Savannah.

"Mitch, I should've been there for you, I'm so sorry that I wasn't... I was jus-"

"You don't have to explain yourself to me Savannah... like you said, we were both grieving."

There was a long silence. Savannah didn't know what to say, but she wanted something to fill this tense and somewhat awkward silence.

"How have you been?" she asked, feeling rather foolish, there was so much she wanted to ask him, but she didn't seem to have the brain power to voice them.

Mitchell sighed as the corners of his mouth curved into a slight smile.

"I can't remember most of it," he confessed, "I was drinking away my life to numb the pain and fill the feeling of emptiness inside me.

"I thought about how disappointed Leon would be of me if he were to see me in that state but it made me feel worse.

"I was numb... but somehow all I felt was pain, a vicious cycle, I know, but it was the only way I knew how to live.... Until I got a message from a little friend of mine.

"Until I got a message from you, Savannah.

"You reminded me that I wasn't an abandoned soul, lost and lonely.

"I told myself I would do it... get better, for you... it was like I all of a sudden remembered how to breathe again, to think again... to live again.

"You are the reason I wanted to live."