Chapter Twenty-Five

Goodbye

"Leon Thompson.

A son, a brother and a friend to many."

The funeral priest was rambling on about someone he didn't know.

He claimed that Leon lived an incredible life and touched many people's hearts.

Of course it was true, but the priest didn't know that, its his job to say it about every person who dies, thought Savannah.

Leon. As beautiful and kind-hearted as he was, he had many fatal flaws.

One being that he was easily influenced.

He died of a drug overdose in a public toilet of a night club.

Was it accidental? yes, but it was also fatal.

Savannah was battling so many emotions in such a short amount of time.

She was devastated, numb and empty.

He didn't deserve to die the way that he did.

Savannah hadn't spoken much, or eaten much or done anything except sleep her life away since hearing the news.

Because sleep was the only cure for the excruciating pain she falls into the second her eyes open and she becomes awake.

She seemed to drown out noise.

The old priest was still talking, but Savannah wasn't listening to what he was saying.

She looked around at the guests at the ceremony.

Herself and Leon's family were sitting in the front row, metres away from Leon's white casket.

Leon's mother sat beside Savannah, quietly sobbing.

Savannah hadn't realised she was holding her hand, until she looked down and saw their hands were linked.

Savannah would cry, but she felt like she'd cried every tear in her for the past two weeks.

Next to Leon's mother Grace, was his father, Mark, in tears, shabbier than Savannah had ever seen him before.

On the opposite aisle were people Savannah had never seen before, a couple rows back sat Mitchell and his family.

"The principle's son was the one who discovered Leon in the bathroom and he relentlessly performed CPR on Leon until the ambulance arrived," Savannah recalled her mother saying to her.

She barely heard anything anybody had said to her over the past two weeks, but that, managed to stick with her.

This wasn't supposed to happen.

Leon was supposed to be in Spain, not dead.

She looked at Mitchell, for some reason she felt hateful anger towards him.

In a sinister way, she was glad Mitchell looked as miserable as he did, though she was sure it couldn't compare to what she was feeling.

The back row seats were filled with the notorious gang that Savannah believed were responsible for Leon's death.

Her eyes scanned, Ethan, Caleb, Heather and Natalie.

She didn't understand why they were so glum; this was their doing.

She didn't feel anger towards them like she did Mitchell, she just felt hate, in its pure form.

She wished that it was either of them in that casket, instead of Leon.

She felt bad for wishing death upon anyone, but these days when didn't she feel bad?

Leon's death has tested Savannah like never before, she was like a zombie, losing touch with reality and losing touch with herself.

She was sure that when Leon died, she died too.

In her mind, her and Leon were both dead, only her heart was still beating.

It was a bitterly beautiful summer day, the grass was green and the sky was blue.

Savannah stared at Leon closed white casket, that was topped with a plethora of white roses, daisies and white lilies.

The fact that Leon was no longer a person who walks this earth,

he is no longer, living, breathing, smiling and he never would again was surreal to Savannah.

The only thing that confirmed the he was really gone was his absence, Savannah missed him so much, it was like a stab in the heart every time she expected him to come out nowhere, with a beaming smile on his face then realising she'd never witness that ever again.

She wished with a heavy heart for one more minute with Leon, if she knew graduation night was the last night she would see his chestnut eyes or his honey-brown hair, she would've appreciated it so much more.

There was so much left unsaid, so many conversations not had, things they never got to experience together.

Now that Leon and Savannah were no longer in the same world, there were many heart-wrenching prospects that broke Savannah's heart piece by piece.

Ever since she accepted Leon's death, her heart has never been filled with more anger, more hurt, more pain, more hate.

To say she missed Leon would be an understatement.

It was like Leon was an organ, now that he had gone, Savannah had forgotten how to breath, forgotten how to live.

The ceremony had ended before Savannah had realised it did.

People were getting up and making their way into the church.

"Savannah, darling," it was her mother.

"Come," she said gently pulling Savannah off her seat.

She wrapped her arms around Savannah who shook it off.

She just needed some space. Why couldn't her mother understand that?

She didn't want to talk to anybody except for one person, and he was lying inside a casket.

His body and soul no longer one.

She blamed herself. If she'd just gone out with Leon he'd be still alive.

She punched herself in the stomach.

She was blaming everyone for Leon's death, except for Leon himself. It was hard to when she was mourning his loss.

She was disappointed in Leon, incredibly, for being so reckless to the point it cost him his life.

But she would climb over the highest mountain, swim across the deepest ocean to see him again.

She walked into the church.

It was filled with people she either didn't know, or people she didn't want to be around.

She tried not to be so bitter, but felt like despite her efforts, she was bringing unneeded bad energy to a place where people are already hurting.

She couldn't help it, grieving was a new thing for her and she was completely incapable of controlling her emotions.

She sat on a lonely bench, cussing everyone out in her mind.

She thought of Leon and how disappointed he would be in her.

The lecture he would give her.

For once she smiled to herself, thinking about all the lectures and life lessons that Leon had taught her.

It was the first time she smiled in what felt like eternity.

She quickly snapped out of it and figured Leon didn't have the right to be disappointed in her after he'd gotten himself killed.

Her heart once more filled with anger and dark hate, for everyone and for everything.

She felt like she wasn't needed, the church was sad enough without her.

She stormed out of the church, avoiding eye contact with everyone, which was easy considering all Savannah sees now is blur.

Se caught a glimpse of Mitchell sitting on a bench outside, hysterically sobbing with his head down.

She glared at him briefly and continued walking.

She reached Leon's casket.

She put her hand over the casket, where she imagined Leon's face would be.

She thought she had no cry left in her heart until a howl of misery escaped her.

She wailed hysterically, forgetting to breathe.

"Why Leon? Why did you leave me?" she sobbed on the casket.

She lifted her face from the puddle of tears she left on Leon's casket.

From the corner of her eyes she saw multiple daises from the flower spray, had attached to her hair.

This reminded her of her birthday, the night Leon organised a late-night picnic at her backyard where they laid underneath the lit-up ash tree as Leon stuck daisies in Savannah's hair.

She smiled to herself.

"Goodbye Lee," she said kissing the casket.

She turned and walked away hugging her aching ribs.

She walked into her room, she shut the door.

She lied into foetal position on her bed and cried her heart out.

Even though she wasn't ready, she was forced to say goodbye.

To her oldest friend, her loyalest friend, her greatest friend.