Chapter Twelve

Impulse over Matter

Savannah hadn't seen Mike since their physical confrontation on two nights before.

Mike walked into the dining room and Savannah acted unaware of his existence.

"Mike! How are you?" asked Anthony, greeting his son,

"yeah, hi dad, I'm not bad... I'm just going to get... put my stuff in my room and I'll be right with you."

Even Savannah who couldn't see Mike's face, knew something about him seemed off.

He wasn't talking or standing in the same arrogant way he usually does.

Nearly twenty-five minutes past and Mike hadn't reappeared. Ben and Savannah packed up the dinner table and made their separate ways to their rooms.

Savannah tried her best not to care about Mike, but she knew something was bothering him, she thought that there was no possible way that he even felt the slightest remorse about what he did to her.

'He would've apologised, he wouldn't have left me lying on the ground unconscious, not to mention that it's completely unlike Mike to care about anybody but himself,' thought Savannah as she folded her school uniform into her closet for tomorrow morning.

Savannah was proud of how well she handled herself until this point, she looked in the mirror, although her bruises were healing, she was afraid that when she was preaching to everybody, telling them that she's alright, she was lying to herself.

Savannah hadn't had a moment of clarity, ever since waking up from the unconscious blur she was in, she kept herself busy, inhibiting her thoughts from exploring the dangerous parts of her mind.

She wasn't okay. Being physically violent or beaten to that point was a new thing that she never wanted to happen again. But Savannah was certain she was going to be okay, it would just take time and space.

She wanted nothing more than to move on, and some space to herself. She wanted to be alone, the less people she was around, the less times she has to explain herself, something she wasn't prepared to do.

Unfortunately, school isn't a place where people mind their own business and it certainly isn't a place where people reserve their judgements.

She made a mental note to herself tomorrow, to avoid as many people as she could if it meant sparing her emotional wellbeing, even Leon.

Savannah took a deep breath and walked into the gates of her high school.

After an hour and a half of effort, Savannah managed to cover just about all her visible bruises on her face.

Her swollen nose was still swelled, but not to the point where someone who didn't know her well would notice.

The only thing she couldn't manage to cover was her gashed lip, which in all honesty looked worse than the day she got it,

'more reason to avoid people and questions today,' she thought to herself.

Ben, who had been silent the entire ride to school walked hurriedly with his head down and headphones on in the direction of the year 8 building.

He hadn't spoken a word to anybody this morning, not even Savannah.

Something was bothering Ben and Savannah made it her objective to find out what it was, by that night anyway.

She missed the energetic, ray of sunshine Ben used to be, now he is as dull and grey as the cloudy autumn sky.

Savannah skipped homeroom that morning, she couldn't have the strength or patience to deal with Miss Mewdan, she also skipped recess, she sat in a beanbag in a secluded part of the school library, reading.

It was therapeutic, by lunchtime she was sitting in that same spot when a red-haired, possible seventh grader approached her.

She pretended not to take notice and wait for him to retract but he only seemed to be getting closer.

"Are you Savannah?" he asked looking down at Savannah with his hands awkwardly by his side.

"Ah yeah, who's asking?" retorted Savannah,

"Leon's looking for you, he has been all day, he seems worried..." he put his hands in his pockets and tilted his head to see what book Savannah was reading.

Savannah hoped with everything in her that he wouldn't ask about her injured face and bulbous cut lip.

"Right, I'll just let him know I found you?"

"please don't... I'll give you five bucks if you don't,"

"no thanks lady, I don't take bribes unless they're in chocolate form," he smiled down at her.

Savannah reached in her bag and threw a chocolate granola bar at him.

"Thanks!" he said delightedly, "by the way, are you Benjo"s sister?" he asked,

"yeah Ben is my little brother," Savannah smiled back politely wishing this chatterbox of a kid would take a hint and piss off.

"Nice!" he said taking a bite of the bar, "he's in my year, good kid but he's been a little down lately, don't you think?"

Savannah thought it was funny that this kid was calling Ben a 'kid' when he was one himself.

"Yeah... Ben hasn't been himself at all, you wouldn't happen to know why?"

asked Savannah hopefully waiting to see if this kid was the answer to helping her, help her little brother.

"Nah I haven't got a clue, but he hasn't been drumming lately so maybe his drum kit broke?" he suggested and although Savannah appreciated his help she saw that as an unlikely reason, feeling silly to trust a kid's judgement on Ben better than her own.

"Well I'd love to sit and chit-chat but I've got things to do, see ya!" he said as he turned in one sharp and smooth movement and glided away.

That kid was everything Savannah missed about Ben, a dangerously smooth talker who is too slick for his own good.

The afterschool bell rang and Savannah felt elated for once, about being ignored.

People didn't stare as much as she thought they would at her messed up face and not a single person asked about it.

Savannah was making her way to the environmental club meeting.

"Nice to see you Savannah," smiled Mitchell, although it was obvious that Mitchell was making an effort to ignore Savannah's very injured bottom lip, but his eyes couldn't help but be fixated on it.

"Uhm... today we're gonna be planting sycamore trees around the school," announced Mitchell when everybody arrived.

After he was splitting everyone up in three or more groups he looked at Savannah, "Savannah, you'll be with me, we'll be planting trees around the gymnasium," he said putting down his clipboard.

Savannah was glad that they weren't doing a highly interactive activity that afternoon, she wanted as little human contact as possible and Mitchell coincidently obliged.

They seemed to be having a normal conversation as if Savannah didn't have an eye-drawing injury on her lip when,

"Savannah I'm sorry but I have to ask... and you don't have to answer, you don't have to tell me unless you want to... but are you okay?"

Savannah didn't know how to answer the question, if she said she was okay she felt as if she would be lying to herself, if she confessed that she wasn't okay she felt as if she would be dishonest with Mitchell.

She hasn't pinpointed exactly how she feels, attempting to explain it to Mitchell is a complex task.

She was overwhelmed by how long it took for her to answer a simple question, she couldn't figure out how she felt and why a lump grew in her throat.

She suppressed the tears growing in her eyes and held it together, Mitchell was staring at her cautiously, "It's a work in progress," breathed Savannah, feeling hot and flustered.

Before Mitchell could retort, Leon approached, Savannah was too caught up in her mind to notice him approach early enough so she could run in the opposite direction.

For some reason she felt as if Leon would give her the hardest time in explaining everything, which she didn't have the heart to do.

To make matters worse he was accompanied by his notorious gang of snakes.

Leon stood, Savannah couldn't make out his facial expressions, she was avoiding his face all together, what she couldn't avoid, however, was his demanding presence.

"Hey," Leon said lovingly nuzzling his head onto Savannah's as he wrapped his arm around her shoulders.

Obviously he was trying to portray the 'boyfriend' façade to his audience of Natalie, Heather Ethan and Caleb, but she didn't know how to react.

Savannah played along, though refusing to make eye contact with Leon, at least until his pack of wolves disappeared, which they didn't.

Natalie and Heather stood closely behind Leon as if fans of him, or better yet, groupies.

Ethan and Caleb looked as dim-witted as ever with their arms across their chests and their heads held high, as if Leon's personal body guards.

Their over-the-top behaviour would have been laughable to Savannah if she was in the mood.

Savannah felt Leon's body stiffen beside her, he knew something was wrong, he always does, and Savannah didn't have the heart to keep him guessing, especially after ignoring him all day.

She put her pride aside for a second and decided to face Leon, it was the least he deserved after what she had put him through.

Savannah swore she saw him flinch as his eyes were immediately drawn to her busted lip.

He searched her face as as his face shifted from horrified to sympathetic to furious.

Savannah understood why Leon was so angry, but she couldn't be 100% certain.

Savannah stared at the grass as Leon's eyes fixated on her silently, it was uncomfortable, she wished somebody, anybody would say something, the mere seconds that went by felt like hours.

She heard Heather and Natalie snickering amongst themselves as they whispered to one another, no doubt laughing about Savannah's condition.

The last time she felt this bad about herself was when they made fun of her in Ecology, but the worst thing was, she didn't blame them.

She expected this reaction from them, she only wished she knew better, to ditch the environmental club for that day.

Mitchell who Savannah forgot was standing beside them, scoffed and shot a dangerous look in the girls' direction.

Savannah could sense that he was about to say something that would most likely offend them and leave them red-faced, again.

"Hey could you leave?!" spoke Leon in an aggravated tone. It was more of a demand than it was a question as he glared at Heather and Natalie in disgust.

Savannah had never in her thirteen years of knowing Leon seen him this furious. He was pink-faced and puffed his chest out slightly as he heavily breathed.

Leon the loving, caring boy who was too kind to speak to anyone with disrespect or intent to inflict fear or hurt, did just that to no other than Heather and Natalie, the ones who walked all over Savannah for so many years.

Natalie and Heather stood horror-struck, trying so desperately to piece together their arrogant persona that Leon just shattered.

"Look I may have waited too long to say this but please, for the sake of my sanity, piss off!" He looked at all the four behind him,

"I can only handle being around so much nastiness for so long, and I have always been loyal to each and every one of you because I try to see the good in you but throughout the years you've made it harder and harder, so please, go be bitter somewhere else and give me and Savannah some privacy..." preached Leon exasperatedly.

Tight-lipped and sour-faced, the four scuttled away without a word.

Mitchell grinned but quickly stopped when he met Leon's eyes.

Savannah was overjoyed that Leon stood up for her but she was disappointed that it took this long.

She was conflicted, she had doubts as to whether Leon would've done so if they weren't in a staged relationship.

"I'll see you guys," Mitchell said awkwardly as he cleared his throat and hurried away.

"Come on, I'll give you a ride home," Leon said genuinely.

After a silent and tense drive home Leon and Savannah made their way to Savannah's backyard, to talk and hopefully be of comfort to each other.

Savannah sat on the grass beneath the leaf-less ash tree and Leon sat directly opposite to her with his legs crossed and his knees touching hers.

"Savannah..." he began and Savannah took a deep breath, waiting for another one of Leon's lectures.

"I'm so sorry," he confessed, Savannah was surprised, but stayed silent to prompt him.

"Sorry that I'm not the friend that I used to be to you, I'm sorry that you can't come to me for comfort like you used to,"

"Lee, its nothing like that," sighed Savannah, "sometimes, I just feel like being left alone... you know, to heal and process things... it's got nothing to do with you... I just don't want to be asked questions I don't have answers to," confessed Savannah.

She felt the deeper into the conversation they got, the more she was exploring the dangerous parts of her mind that she tiptoed around, she was emotionally exhausted.

"What happened?" Leon whispered calmly, Savannah cringed her face and closed her eyes in an effort to suppressed the memories and flashbacks of that night.

She couldn't re-live it, she wished Leon could see that and change the subject, she bit her lip to suppress the tears from building but only succeeded in making her healing lip wound bleed.

She dabbed it with her sleeve, in a sinisterway she way relieved it started to bleed, it distracted her mind from wondering and distracted Leon from the topic.

"Hey...," he whispered, reaching out the palm of his hands and lovingly placing them on her cheek.

Butterflies fluttered in her stomach as his face came closer and closer to hers, his eyes examined her lip and he rubbed his thumb against it, as her eyes examined his face.

Though Leon's actions were of pure innocence, they made Savannah feel a certain way about him, about them, feelings friends don't usually have for one another.

His face was an inch away from hers, Savannah couldn't help but stare at Leon's beautiful face.

She wondered how she never took notice of the hazel in the outer corners of Leon's eyes, or his microscopic freckle above his lip.

His long dark eyelashes that encased his gorgeous golden eyes, reminding her of the way sunflower petals encase the central disc floret.

She never noticed how long Leon's hair had gotten, the sides of his head were neatly trimmed, the golden brown curls at the top of his head cascaded in every direction, some landing on his forehead, dangling just above his dark eyebrows.

It felt as if time were going in slow motion, the feeling was growing at the pit of her stomach at an alarming rate, making her heart pound and breathing quicken, it made her want to grab Leon by the face, and kiss him, so she did.