《Blind and Bereft》Chapter 87 | Wherever You Go
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Tears slid down her chin and into the puddle below her feet. Jingrui stumbled away from Lingyue's body, feeling empty.
The throne hall was not as clustered as before. Too many had fallen, and only the most competent still stood. Prince Zhanying was worn out. Sweat dripped from his forehead, and his hair that was previously tied up with a crown had fallen. He looked grim and blanched off colour. Blood soaked his hanfu and stained his pale skin.
He swung his sword to his side as he made way towards her. Swaying, she also found herself drawn to him.
To her, the hatred and sorrow within the world that lacked solace had ended, and all she yearned for was to be in his embrace. But she knew for him, it was far from over.
The people on Prince Zhanying's side were still clashing swords against the enemies. The throne still stood empty above blood and corpses. A shadow filled with hatred and fueled with vengeance still veiled over him. His ambition was still far from his reach.
He took a deep breath as he forced himself through the crowd and towards her. "Have you really forgiven Lingyue?" His voice tore out of his throat, angry and cold. "She had killed your loved ones. Your dreadful days of suffering in pain were due to her, and now that you have the opportunity, why would you toss it away?"
Jingrui bit the seam of her lips. Her heart squeezed at his words. There were men hurling at them, but without flitting a gaze, Prince Zhanying reeled his sword and they went flying. When he was near enough that her hazy sight could grasp over his features, she realised that his eyes were laced with veins. Blood within his face was drained, and his nails had gone a dark shade.
"Have you really forgiven her?" Prince Zhanying's voice croaked from his throat.
Jingrui looked at him. Her eyes no longer held life, seeing him trapped within hatred and dying from the heated poison. "What is the point of revenge and what is the point of hate?" She asked and chuckled. "All these time, I've drowned myself in the need for revenge, but now I finally understand. I would rather live never forgetting than letting evil consume me. In the end, no one can come back to life. In the end, I would still be alone."
Her limbs were heavy as she dragged herself closer to him. Her eyes wavered with a torrent of pain, yet they were dried of tears. "I can forgive Lingyue. I can even forgive Yihuai." A bitter chuckle ripped up her throat, and she shook her head. "Yet, you can't forgive me."
Prince Zhanying's face was filled with shadow, and he twirled gusts of power, killing the constant enemies that launched at them. "I am not one to forgive."
Jingrui sniffled and nodded. "I know."
"If you know then get back behind the thrones. I'm tired of fending for you while conversing with you right in the middle of a battlefield," he told her with absoluteness weaved in his voice.
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Jingrui blinked and realised that she had strayed right to the middle of the throne hall. She swallowed down the painful lump. Her head lowered, and she forced every inch of her to turn away from him. As she was about to walk towards the thrones where Lingyue's battered body laid, her breath caught in her throat.
Lingyue was gone.
Her breathing quickened, and she scanned around for the sight of the sadistic Empress Dowager. The battle was too hustling that she could not see the faces clearly. She wheeled back towards the Prince who had his back to her and busy fending off the enemies. "Your Highness, Lingyue, she's-" Jingrui cut herself short when the same shadowy figure that stabbed Prince Zhanying flashed past the corner of her eyes. She grimaced.
That psycho just doesn't die.
She gritted her teeth, but before she had time to summon a weapon, Lingyue brushed past her and appeared right before her, bearing her bloodied teeths. A smile stretched the corners of her mouth up towards her ears, and her eyes formed a narrowed crescent.
Jingrui was about to scream but it was instantly trapped in her throat when she felt something cold jerked into her stomach. Her eyes popped wide and blood gushed out of her lips. Fiery pain brought black mists swirling into the corner of her monochrome vision and she winced in pain.
The Empress Dowager pulled the knife out of Jingrui's stomach as she turned to her next target: Prince Zhanying.
Like an untamable beast, the Empress Dowager vaulted herself towards the Prince. A large amount of Qi energy cloaked over her blade, determined to end the life of the true heir of the throne. Jingrui narrowed her eyes, and with all her might, she pushed herself in between the blade and the Prince.
The time seemed to stop at that moment, and the blade penetrated through her chest, right in her heart. Tears welled in her eyes as she fell backward with a convulsing pain-so painful, she no longer found it a wonder Prince Zhanying resented her this much for stabbing him. She heard Prince Zhanying's furious voice rose across the hall as he caught her.
His eyes burnt with incomparable rage, and with a violent swing of blade, everyone surrounding them darted in all directions. The sky above clattered with roaring thunder as Prince Zhanying shot poisonous glare at anyone who dared to step foot closer. The room became silent and the battle came to a pause.
His jaws clenched as he waved a barrier around them before he looked down at her wounds and at her decaying face. His brows were drawn together and there was deep anger scorching in his eyes. Jingrui knew, though, that they were just a mere shield for his pain.
Her lips quivered, and she bit it hard until blood seeped out and colours were regained. "I-I'm fine," her voice croaked out.
Prince Zhanying's countenance was robbed of colours. He shook his head. "You are not."
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She turned away from his dark eyes and stared up at the sky. A subdued smile came over her. "Your Highness, do you hate me?"
He ignored her as he forced light to his fingertips, straining his muscles and veins. Jingrui quickly clasped her hand over his to extinguish the light. He barely had enough cultivation to hold off the poison and wounds from the battle, and there was no way she would let him use it on her.
His jaws clenched and he pulled her close to his chest. "Didn't I tell you that if ever I am to end up near dead, I don't want you to die for me?" There was anger in his tone and he hugged her tighter. "Why do you never listen to me?"
She sank into his warmth and his familiar scent. Tears slid down her cheeks, but she didn't reply to him. Instead, she told him, "I've always told you, didn't I? If there's danger, I'll protect you. See? I didn't lie to you."
Zhanying lowered his gaze, his hands trembled and he tensed to remain stoic. "I don't need you to protect me. I never wanted you to protect me."
Her smile dropped as she blinked the tears in her eyes. "Do you hate me?" she asked again. "All this time, do you really hate me?"
Line of pain graced his features. "I have never hated you."
The mountain in her heart became light and his words lessened the pain of her wounds. An unfading smile came over her face. "Do you forgive me? I have never meant to stab you."
His breathing quickened and his thumb wiped over her tears. "What is there to forgive? I have never hated you and I have never blamed you." His eyes wavered with a torrent of pain. "All these times, I've pretended to hate you, because I thought you'd stay away from me. Then you wouldn't follow me to the throne hall. You wouldn't end up in this state. But, you never do as I wish and now. . . "
Jingrui furrowed her brows and she coughed hard. Blood came gushing out of her lips, making his breathing grow sharp.
"Jingrui," his hand was placed on her wound and his chest rose and fell out of pace.
"Call me Bao Bao," her words tumbled out of her throat.
His voice softened, "Bao Bao."
She smiled as she poured her whole weight into his arms. The bleeding was gushing out nonstop and pain burned her insides, forcing tears to her eyes. She didn't want to die, and she didn't want to leave him. Why was it that when she was finally in his embrace again, she must leave?
He seemed to sense life leaving her and he hugged her tighter. His lips lowered to her forehead, placing it gently. The warmth pricked against her cold body.
"Don't leave me," his words were barely audible. "I beg you, don't leave me."
The pain from her heart and wound merged like an unyielding wave crashing into her. She bit her lips as she tried to fight against the darkness that was devouring her away. But then, she shook her head and tears gurgled from her eyes. "Your Highness . . . All that I ever wanted when I was in the Red Valley was to spread my wings. And no matter how strong I've been flying, even the strongest bird will eventually have to land." She forced out a smile. "We've been through so many adverse fate, why is it that life only felt fruitful at the last moment?"
Seeing as he had gone rigid, she chuckled and closed her eyes. "Your Highness, I want to see the peach blossoms field. Can you take me there?"
At that moment, the shield that he suppressed his emotions within broke. His hold on her tightened and he nodded.
"Can I still be your Empress?"
He nodded again. All the love in him came bleeding out and he buried his face into her shoulder. She felt something warm and wet soaked into her clothes. And she heard him muffled against her ear, "I love you, Bao Bao, is it too late?"
She felt her body growing light and at his words a sad smile came over her. "Never." Her tears slid down her chin. With little strength left, she summoned the antidote and placed it in his palm. "Can you promise me to take the antidote?"
He held her tight. "If you leave me, I won't take it." Before she could pressure him, his voice scraped out, "In your heart, you also don't want me to take it right? You want to take me wherever you go."
Jingrui sniffled and she let painful tears roll down her eyes. "I don't want to leave you. I don't want to leave." Sobs choked out of her throat. "I want you to go wherever I go." She held her hand out and clasped it over his face. "Zhanying, do you know I'm the one who loves you most?"
"I know."
"Then can you hug me as I go?"
"I will."
"Can you never let me go?"
"I'll never let you go."
With that a smile came over her face and she glanced up towards the clouds that were pouring with rain. And although there was no full moon, she felt at peace.
Even if the peach blossoms field never bloomed again, in this lifetime, something else had bloomed, something that even death cannot part, cannot extinguish, and cannot destroy. If people met, there would be a day that they would part, and although parting is painful, in this lifetime, Bao Bao is happy to have met you.
-
A/N - before you guys come at me, it's not over yet ;)
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