It was December when she last saw him. Winter passed away and spring is knocking on the corner. Ots not that she doesn't want to meet him. She want to meet him everyday. There is certain itch to go to his place and check how is he doing. There is desire to catch one glimpse of him. Just one glimpse is enough. He often came to pick Akshita but windows of his car never rolled down. She tried her best, kept her eyes glued to his car but never get a chance to saw him. There was frequent phone calls of him and she without wasting a second hand her phone to Akshita. Is she even deserve that? Probably no, she disrupted his already broken soul. How can she face him with all this burden.

Smita opened her newly purchased diary. After all this chaos in her life she decided to keep her matter to herself. Its no point to discussing her life with anyone as no one is going to solve her problem. She has to solve the problem so solution should be come from within. She opened the cap of pen and start writing things she is unable to say.

This days I felt so ashamed of myself that I can't face myself in mirror. Whenever I saw myself in mirror I find a woman who destroyed life of an innocent. I feel, I broke a picture made from many broken pieces. I regret my decision of sleeping with him that night. What occurred in my mind so I took that stupid decision. How on the earth I followed advice of Raina who was bachelor back than. Forget about Raina, why I followed advice of some outsider. Marriage is between two individuals so why one should allowed others to make judgement. I wish I hadn't took that route.

I wronged him like everyone else. His father had responsibility to protect him from world but he crashed his spirit. His mother failed to heal his scars. His siblings were as helpless as him. His granddad was head of family but failed to sense wrong in his household. His teachers wronged him and made him a criminal. Why on earth that woman abused an innocent boy. There is plenty of men ready to have fun outside marriage. Why she install hate in his heart regarding opposite gender. She made sex a disgusting and loathe some thing for him.

I topped the list of worngdoers. I was his life partner. I promised to be with him during thick and thin. I promised to share happiness and sorrow. What I did? I tricked him. I run away on slightest tussle. I reconciled to fool him. I truly betrayed him.

His barbaric treatment still fresh in mind. I can't forget anything. The touch which should awake pleasure, terrify me. His condition is ten times worse than me. I understand what he felt. Each time we consumate, we kissed, we touched, must have refreshed his abused.

His ignorance, last moment cancelling our meetings and that outburst in court.Everything makes sense now. I have all answers but everything is useless. I pushed him away with each step. Now he is gone too far from me. I destroyed every thing around me and I hate myself for that.

Smita closed diary with heavy heart. She is not able to digest the hard hitting truth after so many months. He is on her mind every time but she did not forward a step towards him.

She lie on the bed, flipping channels on the tv,without Akshita tv isn't fun. Little monster of hers went to her father's place. Nowadays she doesn't have a schedule. Some times she stay here and sometimes she stay with her father. She is having best of both worlds and Smita is pretty happy with this development.

****************

"Its been months Mr. Ranawat, you came here, sat and left. You need to break this cycle ." Vaibhav, renowned psychiatrist in the town said calmly.

"I told you, write some medicine and cure me." Akshay said in bored tone

"You have to tell me your problem for that." doctor tried to negotiate with him.

"I hadn't wanted a kid." Akshay sighed and doctor noted down it in patient journal.

Since last few months Akshay regularly visiting this psychiatrist for his issues. He doesn't want to break down in front of his daughter. He doesn't want her to witness his beast. He already scared Smita to the extent that she hadn't shown her face till date. He can't blame her for that. He was on rampage at that day. Any sane person will be worried for his life. He wanted to bark in her house and confronts her for her ignorance . She is avoiding him for last few months. He didn't catch her glimpse in all this time. He want to apologise to her for his bad behaviour. He did not want to ask for second chance. He knew he is not worthy for that. He just wants things to be cordial between them for Akshita's sake.

"but I have one and I want to give her best of this world." Akshay expressed his desire.

"What is the problem in that?"

"Everything."

"Like"

"Like, I am not normal. I can harm my child."

"Why you would do that? You expressed your desire to give best to your kid."

"I told you earlier. I am not normal."

"You are normal or not, that is on me to decide as I am the doctor here. All you have to do is tell me, what is bothering you."

"Women's touch frighten me." Akshay wiped sweat bud formed on his forehead and he drank whole glass of water in one go."please write a prescription, I can't do this."

"I don't think you need medicine right now. We shall talk about your issues and solve it. I am writing my number, call me if there is any emergency."

Akshay had high hopes from this appointment but it turned out fruitless. This doctor is useless like many others. Talk will not solve his issue. Its time to consult another doctor.

**************

Akshay send enough money for Smita and Akshita. Now she doesn't need to work. Its not her nature to stay idle. Shw left her previous job in school and decided to enhance her skills. She did her masters years ago and now interested in pursuing Ph. D. It would be an honour to receive the degree of honorary docterate. She has enough time to visit Delhi university as Akshita is in school. Her aim is to reach Delhi university but what came in her mind and she left the train on Hauz khas metro station.

After taking an autorickshaw ride she reach at Hauz khas village. She often visited this place in her college days. Euphoria is in the air of this place. This place is famous for its night life for some reason. Streets are filled with teenagers and youngsters. Couples were walking in the street with hand in hand. Group of boys and girls came out from Italian restaurant. A smile came on her face recalling her college days. She walk in the street which leads to lake.

Lake at Hauz khas is heaven for nature lovers. In the hustle bustle of regular city life, this place has serene atmosphere. Smita watched a pair of duck swimming in lake and her lips twitched upwards. Ruins of old fort and garden is behind her back. She sat on the chair at the side . Soft breeze touched her cheeks and she closed her eyes.

Beep of her mobile phone bring her back to reality. Its an usual customer care call. Her hand touched a hard object in purse while keeping phone in bag. She brings it out. Its a book she purchased a while ago. She opened the book and starts reading it. She didn't realised when time passes. Sun is about to set and she decided to witness it from the top of fort. She walk few steps and stumbled with someone.

"I am sorry." she said immediately and bend to collect her things from the ground. Other person also bend and

"ofcourse I love you" he read name of the book aloud and she recognized the voice. Its him. What is he doing here? Its not his type of place. She can't face him. Her heartbeat raised. She didn't plan a meeting with him.

"Thank you" she replied and snatched her book. Smita took hasty steps to avoid him. This is public place and she can't take risk here. If his beast awake here, everything will be ruined forever.

"Delhi has much better love stories to tell than this book " his voice from behind stop her in the middle of her tracks .

"What you said?" she asked turning towards him.

"What you had heard."

"Then I can't agree with you. Delhi told enough love stories. There is nothing left to explore in history."

"Khusrava dar ishq bazi kam zi hindu jan mabash kaj baraye murda mi sojad jan-e - khes ra"

Smita doesn't understood a word what he spoke but his voice has some magic. She felt mystery in that words. There is some spell in poetic lines which she wants to hear again. What it meant? What is the language? And most important which love story he wants to tell?

" Friday 6 p. m. at Hazarat Nizamuddin" he said and left her in deep thoughts.

This story is eligible for wattys award for this year. What category as should choose as General fiction isn't there.

Romance

Young adult