《Abandoned wife》Chapter 23
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Apology never come when it needed and when it come its neither wanted nor needed
"so you decided to leave?"Akshay asked to Smita who is packing her bags.
" Yes. Its best for everyone. "
" Please, don't go. "Akshay hold her hand.
" Its best decision and most sane decision I have take. "
" I know I am not the best person. I have large share in hurting you and I am ashamed of my deed. "
" This will not change my decision. "
" still I am apologising because its necessary."
"Please Akshay stop all this otherwise I'll say something you don't like to hear."
"Then you must say that atleast your heart will at peace."
" Today you decided its necessary. What about me. I came for five long years to you for clearing the misunderstanding. I used to sit outside your cabin for hours.
I begged you to accept your daughter. I begged you to meet her for once but you never came.Your denial of being her father made me a slut in the eyes of everyone around . I endure so much because of you. You had suspicion on me and you destroyed everything I love. On the contrary I have clear proof of your wrong doings and expect me to forgive you. "
" I know I am 100% wrong and that's why I am apologising to you. "
" For once you didn't thought that I can't kill anyone. I am not like that. "
" I felt that you are innocent... Akshay is short of words.
"but you never tried to prove me innocent.You punished me for the crime I never commit."
"I am not giving you excuse but I was devastated with their death. I was filled with hate and rage. I want revenge and you were the prime suspect."
"I wish you asked me than we were not in this situation. You punished me for asking divorce. Each day is living hell for me." she sighed. Her eyes were moist.
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"You know Akshay you forces yourself on me and I just succumb. I didn't fight like other.. ra.. Rape victims." her voice chocked.
"I was so angry with myself for that. Unlike other girls I didn't scar away from males or felt useless and start fucking around. I was just like myself like nothing happened with me."
"I was confused that why I didn't hate you like other victims. Why I didn't try to punished you. My emotions made me crazy. I don't know what is wrong with me."
"I know...
" No, let me complete it for once Akshay. I understand why I don't hate you and I won't hate myself for that. I love you. The unconditional, selfless true love which we heard all the time. I felt that for you. "
" That love doesn't let me hate you anf I don't regret loving you. It was best thing of my life. I am glad it happened."
" People live whole life and never experience love. We tag favourable compromise love but real love is very different from that. If it was not love I had killed you for your atrocities. "
"Then why you are leaving?
" You still don't understand I can't forget what you did with me nor forgive you. "
" But love is forgiveness. "
" Had you forgave me"
"but I wasn't in love but you are in love."
" pyar karne k liye mera tumhare saath hona zaroori nahi hai (I don't need to be with you for loving you. I can love you from anywhere)"
"You can love me but don't forgive me?" he asked and Smita nodded.
" Than don't love me and forgive me. Tell me I'll do anything for your forgiveness."
"It didn't work that way Akshay." Smita gave him sad smile.
" I can't understand your philosophical take Smita. I know only one thing we need to stay together ."
"Okay, I'll stay but ask yourself Akshay,do you love me? "
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"I don't know about love and all. I know only one thing I never met someone like you and I didn't need to. Your most kind and generous woman. You love with your all. I am sorry I can't let you go. I will become the person you want."
"but I don't want that. I want you to feel the same thing I felt. If you love someone else I won't complain either."
"but I don't want anyone else. Try and understand Smita please."
"No Akshay you need to understand. Love is base of marriage."
"and maximum love marriage turned into divorce later."
"You are moving away the topic."
"I am not. The all I want to say is I am ready for any punishment you want to give me. I know I was wrong and I am guilty but please don't break this relationship ."
"but I don't want to give you any punishment. I just want to go away."
"and what about Akshita?"
"I'll try to mend relationship between you and...
" and one parents will absent in her life. "
" I'll not exclude you from important event of her life. "
" still one of us will be absent. She won't grew up like other children. Can't you give our relationship one more chance?"
"Which relationship Akshay?
The one in which you don't want to enter or the one whose premise lies on deceit or the one in which you break all promises." he brings out the worst of her.
"Don't tag it deceitful Smita because I hadn't intention to betray you."
"Seriously Akshay, you promised to cherish me but you didn't. You promised to provide food and finance but you didn't.
You promised to be with me till death but abandoned me.
You promised to protect me but you didn't.
Where were you when people were harassing me?"
"Name" he uttered only one word and Smita doesn't believe her ears. "tell me whereabouts of them."
"You know what is your problem? This is your problem."
"what I have done now.?"
"Don't act innocent Akshay. You know what I am talking."
"Fine, I entered in this relationship half heartedly but I don't have any choice. I have to choose between dadaji's choice that is you and that vixen woman. I choose...
" Who was the other woman? "Smita interrupt him. There was pin drop silence in the room. Akshay was zone out.
" If you want me to stay, you have to open up to me. "Smita said. She knew he won't make her part of his inner circle and she will get good excuse to leave. Although she did not need any excuse, he gave her enough. Smita hold her bags.
" Her name was Madhu Gupta. She was one of the mistress of my father. "
Smita was beyond shocked by his revelation. She didn't knew this man, so called husband of hers has this much secrets. She didn't knew how to comprehend this new information. She always found her father in law weird but he was man of questionable character that is shocking. She sat on the floor. Akshay handed her glass of water and she drinks it in one go.
"Why she wanted that?"
"because... leave it.." Akshay left the room with thousands of questions in Smita's mind.
Akshay headed to bar after days and drink five shots of vodka in one go. Smita touched his raw nerve today. Wounds which were healed, stabbed again . He didn't blame her for doing it. She is only woman after his mother and sister who loved him unconditionally but he....
He is not capable of loving anyone. Ghost of his past will haunt him forever. Broken glass pieces isn't useful to anyone. It only prick and cut the one who touch it. He is the venom which she did not need. He is selfish all these years but not any more. Its best for her to leave him forever. Its least he can do for her.
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