Screaming in panic I pushed myself back until my back hit the bed frame.

"Holy shit! Hey!" Nixon reached forward and used his hand to cover my mouth.

Everything went silent apart from my deep heavy breathing. What the hell was happening? Where was I? Oh fudge, I was in Nixon's room. "Are we gonna stop the screaming now nugget? Shit, I think you made my ear bleed,"

Still in complete shock but calm after I remembered where I was and the events of last night, I nodded my head vigorously and the crouched Nixon slowly moved his hand away from my mouth.

"My head," My voice sounded really croaky and my throat was drier than the Sahara.

My hand immediately went to touch my head, why wouldn't this headache go away?! Something found its way shoved into my mouth and a glass of water was handed to me. I realised that Nixon had given me some tablets, something I was really grateful for. He stood from his crouched position and sat by my feet on the bed. He was still in his white t shirt and grey sweats. Swoon.

Whilst I probably looked like medusa.

"So what do you remember?" For some reason Nixon had an amused expression on his face and it was creeping me out a little. Was it because of how I looked right now? Yeah, probably. Anyone would be amused.

Once I had the tablets, I downed the water like there was no tomorrow. Sighing, I tried to think back.

"Well I was home and Ethan called. I erm, well I kinda ranted at him earlier at school and flipped out at him a little. He rang to apologise. He wanted to make it up to me and told me to get ready, so he came by and picked me up. I remember him mentioning going to a club when I got to the car and I said no but he managed to talk me into it," Nixon was listening intently.

"What did you say to him?" He asked me curiously. Was I ready to spill? I knew that we needed to talk about everything that happened. I took a deep breath and decided to tell him the truth.

"It was about you actually. Remember early on last week when we saw each other in the hall? That was Ethan's doing. He went against my wishes and was trying to meddle,"

"Ah. I thought he had something to do with it. And listen, about that,"

I interrupted him. "I'd like to talk about that after if it's okay," Nixon curtly nodded in response.

"So I'm guessing I got drunk right?" I asked hesitantly. I knew it but I didn't want to face it.

Nixon smirked at me. "Yeah, just a little,"

"Are you mad at me?" I asked looking up, afraid to know the answer.

Taking a deep breath he answered. "No I'm mad at Ethan. How fucking dare he-"

Interrupting, I decided to defend him. "He didn't force me, he was doing it for me to have some fun," Nixon had his fists slightly clenched but I ignored it.

Groaning in embarrassment, I put my knees up and planted my face against my legs. "I do remember calling you and ranting. How embarrassing. Remind me to never get drunk again. How on earth do people do this?! This is my first and last time," My voice was muffled but I looked up at Nixon who seemed to be looking at me with an odd expression. Suddenly I felt self conscience.

"What is it?" I felt a soft blush making its way onto my cheeks.

"Do you remember what you said over the phone?" His eyes were piercing mine with such intensity. Of course I did. I remembered every single word. And everything that happened after.

Instead of speaking, I nodded my head looking down. Nixon leaned forward, placed his hand on top of mine and squeezed it reassuringly, which made me look up.

This side of him was one I was still getting used to, especially from last night. Something had definitely changed between us but I wasn't sure if I was ready for it. He glanced over at my broken arm and then made eye contact. His jaw seemed tense like he was fighting something. Was he angry? I figured he would ask about it at some point.

"What time is it?" I yawned involuntarily and stretched my good arm.

Nixon checked his phone. "It's nearly eleven,"

"Wait, what?!" My eyes bulged. "Nixon!"

He looked alarmed. "What is it?"

"It's Friday!" I looked at him like a crazy person.

"So?" He looked at me like I had lost my marbles. Maybe I had.

"It's a school day! I'm so late! Izzy and Kayla will be freaking out!" I pushed away the warm covers and exposed my legs to the cold air. I realised I was still in Nixon's clothes. He stopped me by putting his hand on my leg. I halted in my movements, my skin feeling like it was on fire from where his hand was.

I knew he was smirking because he was aware of the affect he had on me. Stupid jerk.

"We're having the day off,"

I looked up. "Come again?"

"I really don't think going to school hungover is a good idea. Trust me when I say it isn't, I've been there,"

"When-"

"That's not important. I also called your friend Isabelle. I think I may have scared her, but she knows you're good,"

I smiled. I could so imagine how that conversation went. Poor Izzy.

"So I'm having my first ever ditch day?"

Nixon smirked. "Yeah. With me,"

Ten minutes later, after freshening up, I made my way downstairs following the delicious scent of food. I still had Nixon's clothes on, he instructed me to stay in them so I agreed.

Partly because they're super comfy and partly because they smell like him. Okay, mainly because they smell like him. I only agreed to this after he agreed to stay in his sweats. I'm a sucker for guys in hot sweats, sue me.

Walking into the kitchen I was met with what I pictured heaven to be like. The small kitchen island had two full plates of food set up with glasses of orange juice. And to top it all off, Nixon Ford was stood waiting for me, looking all chef-like, with a towel over his shoulder paired with a smirk on his face.

He so knew the effect he had on me.

"This looks amazing. Did you make all this?" I asked as I reached the island. There was everything. Scrambled eggs, bacon, pancakes, waffles. It all looked divine.

"You sound surprised," Nixon looked amused.

"I just didn't take the bad boy to be a chef," I smiled up at him letting him know my appreciation. He smiled back which made my heart skip a beat, and started edging towards me.

He bent down, his hair tickling my cheek and whispered into my ear. "Like I said Mara, you shouldn't always believe the stereotypes," He ended it with a small peck on my ear and that was it. I was a goner. With my eyes closed, shivers flew down my spine and my breathing got deeper. How do I let him affect me so much? This isn't normal right?

"Come on nugget, I'm starving," Eyes flying open I realised Nixon had picked up both plates and was making his way to the living room.

That jerk. I knew he was walking away with a big fat smirk. He acted like nothing had happened. Pulling myself together I grabbed the juice and told myself to act the same way.

Following suit, I ended up in the cosy living room. It was small, simple but homey.

With its stone fireplace and brown wooden cabinets you could tell it was lived in. The only modern thing about the whole room was the flat screen TV situated in the corner. The total opposite of ours. Nixon was sat on the main three seater couch which had a coffee table in front. I soon joined him and sat on the furthest side.

"You can come closer you know, I won't bite," Nixon smirked.

Looking up I smiled with sarcasm. "I'm not too sure about that Ford,"

"Oh really?" He had his arm propped up on the side and faced towards me with amusement written all over his face. I decided to mimic him and turn myself too. I was so going to regret this.

He abruptly leaned forwards towards me, forcing my back to the edge of the couch. Nixon was now hovering over me as my body slid down and I was looking up at him. Both his arms had me locked in place by either side of me.

His breathing was heavy and so was mine. The eye contact was so intense, chocolate brown to chocolate brown. Slowly, his face made its way closer to mine to the point where I closed my eyes. Expecting his lips to touch mine, I was caught by surprise when I felt a little pinch on the side of my neck. I gasped, and made an involuntarily quiet moan, my eyes shooting open with embarrassment, hoping he didn't hear. I realised he bit me but it felt so good. He then lightly kissed the same spot, sending tingles everywhere.

And when I say everywhere, I mean everywhere.

I knew then that Nixon most definitely had heard me and was more than satisfied with my reaction. The smirk and grin on his face told me everything. I looked up at him with surprise and a longing aching feeling. Did I want more?

Of course I did.

"Guess you were right nugget," His voice sounded deeper than usual and he sounded like he was trying to control himself. Nice to know I wasn't the only one who got affected. Using this to my advantage I decided to get him back for earlier.

"Hey Nixon?" I bit my lip and asked with a deep (my attempt to be sexy) voice.

Still breathing deeply and his mouth slightly ajar, he looked straight into my eyes with so much sincerity. "Yeah?"

I put on a wide creepy smile and changed my voice back to normal. "I wanna eat my food now. It's getting cold,"

His face was priceless.

****

The most awkward thing about having a broken arm means that you only have one hand to eat with.

Especially when the meal requires a fork and a knife. Then things get real awkward. I start off with the knife. I use my free hand to cut everything up into little pieces ready for my fork to come in and swoop them into my mouth. For some bizarre reason, Nixon thought that it was the funniest thing ever and didn't help me until after I struggled for a good ten minutes.

Unfortunately I couldn't be much help in the washing dishes area being one handed and all, but it seemed like Nixon was more than capable. The bad boy was domestic too, who knew? You definitely learn something new every day... or several.

We finally settled onto the couch with the TV on. I sat with my legs crossed, cushion in my lap and Nixon was next to me with his legs stretched out in front of him, feet placed on the table. Despite me telling him off twice.

We both kept sneaking glances at each other, occasionally at the same time where I'd smile in shyness and he'd have his signature smirk.

"Hey," I felt a warm touch on my left cheek after some time and I turned to face Nixon with a questioning look. He sat up from his slouched position. His gaze was directly towards my cast and I knew exactly where it was going. "Tell me about your arm, how did you break it?"

Looking down out of guilt, I knew straight away that I had to lie to his face. There was no way I could admit that I had been pushed.

From what I've seen in the past and what I know, Nixon isn't the type of person to let something like that slide. He was similar to Aiden in that sense. He'd go ballistic and I didn't want him to. Without making it too obvious, I calmed my nerves internally and looked up at Nixon who had a blank expression.

"I fell down the stairs at home, I know right I'm the clumsiest person ever," I lied with ease and even laughed a little at the end.

Nixon's expression didn't change but his jaw was tense and I saw that his fist was tight. Does he know I'm lying? I was awaiting his response anxiously. If he knew I was lying he'd question me right?

"When does it get taken off?" I mentally let out a sigh of relief, even though his voice sounded tight.

"Next week actually," I smiled up at him and his expression visibly relaxed.

Huh, so I do have some sort of affect on him. This realisation of mine fueled some confidence and I knew it was time. "Nixon, I think we should talk about everything. The phone call, what I said and just everything,"

His expression softened as he pierced his eyes into mine.

I took a deep breathe before I spoke, giving myself a few moments. My heart felt like it was beating outside my chest. Deciding to be brave I stared into Nixon's eyes with sincerity. "I want the truth,"

To my surprise he was the first to break eye contact and I was seeing something which I never thought I would. Nixon seemed apprehensive. He ran his hand through his hair and closed his eyes for a moment. My heart sunk, and I was anxious for his response.

Opening his eyes he locked his eyes on mine with a pained expression. "Mara, I can't,"

I could feel a lump in my throat and my heart was racing faster. Tears were threatening to fall which was the last thing I wanted. Today was the day I got answers. Pushing my emotions to the side, I was determined to get them.

"Why Nixon? I think it's the least I deserve," I realised my tone was angrier than intended and he noticed. His pained expression deepened and deep down I could tell he was fighting it. "What's so bad that you can't tell me?"

Sighing, he ran his hand through his hair again. "You don't understand Mara, I can't,"

"Well get me to understand," I knew that I was being stubborn but I had to know.

Nixon seemed to be frustrated, as he got up and stood in front of the fireplace gripping it with his hands tight on either side. His back was to me, placing his head against the wall. I could tell that he was angry and something seemed to be stopping him. I waited for him to speak and my heart broke when he finally did.

"I'm not good for you Mara, you were right. You should stay away from me," I could hear the hurt in his tight voice and a stray tear fell from my eye. "I tried to stay away but I found it so hard to. God, you were on my mind all the fucking time and I couldn't stop it. I couldn't leave you alone. I knew I should have, but my emotions got the better of me. I got myself into some deep shit Mara and it left me no choice. Reality kicked in. I realised things were getting too far and I reacted the way I did at my car on purpose. It was the only way I knew how to push you away and keep you away from me for good,"

My heart skipped a beat. "W-what?" Nixon turned around to face me.

"Like that did any fucking good," He laughed in a bitter way. "I regretted it as soon as I saw your face afterwards and realised what I had done. I was going to apologise and talk to you but instead I had to be a dick. You left the restaurant that day and I was angry and confused. You left without a word, not even to Ethan. I purposely kept my distance after and ended up lashing out at you to make you stay away because I thought it was for the best. I still regret it every second and I mean fuck, from everything last night I just know it's impossible for me to stay away from you,"

My tears were now in full force at hearing Nixon speak. A million different things were running through my head and I didn't know how to express my feelings into words.

So instead I walked over to him and wrapped my arms around his body as tight as I could, resting my head under his chin. I felt him stiffen for a second but like an automatic reaction his arms were around me and he kissed the top of my head. I could feel his heart pounding against his chest. We molded into a perfect embrace. I felt warm, I felt safe.

"Then don't," I sniffled mumbling against his shirt. He gently loosened his hold on me and held my face in both of his hands locking me in place. He looked hurt, and pained. It broke my heart.

He whispered softly, leaning his forehead against mine and closing his eyes. "Mara it's too dangerous,"

"What is Nixon?" I looked up at him with teary eyes.

"It's already dangerous enough for my mom and Nova. I can't bring myself to do that to you too, I just can't,"

Putting my hands on his chest, I placed it on top of his beating heart.

"Do you feel the same way as I do?" Without breaking eye contact Nixon put his hand over mine sending me tingles.

"Of course I do," He looked at me with so much intensity and his eyes were glossy.

His heart beat never faltered and stayed steady. I knew in that moment that he was telling me the truth and I smiled through my tears. That small insecure part of me which feared he didn't was crushed in that single moment.

"Then please Nixon. I need to know," I pleaded with my eyes at his sad expression.

"What if it makes you run away?" He spoke softly. My heart felt heavy hearing his question and I shook my head.

"Nixon it won't. I know that you're not a bad person, I've seen all the good. With me, with Ethan, with Nova," I spoke with sincerity, hoping he'd believe my words.

Nodding slightly he took a deep breath. "It started when I was about fourteen. I had been in a little trouble before but nothing that was major. I was approached by a group of older teenagers and they wanted to pick a fight with me. So of course I gave them what they wanted and I beat the shit out of all of them. Five against one and it was hardly even a challenge,"

I flinched slightly picturing a fourteen year old Nixon fighting. I've seen it before and it scares me to death.

"Then out of nowhere an older man came and started to praise me. He told me his name was Rick and said that I had talent. He liked how I didn't take shit from any of them. He told me how he was in the drug business. He sold them for a local gang and he wanted me to join him. I was a little kid, I didn't know what was happening and all I took in from the guy was how much money he makes so of course I agreed. At first it was the odd deal here and there. I never met any of the gang members I was the kid in the shadows who did the dirty work when needed. It got more intense as I got older and after a couple of years I finally met the gang face to face. I clashed with a few of them, all of us being hotheads didn't work out so well. They weren't really good with outsiders. Fights would break out often, but there was one time in particular where one of the bastards threatened my Mom. That's when I lost it. And that's when I wanted out," Nixon's jaw was tense and I see the anger underneath. I encouraged him to carry on by nodding and squeezing his hand.

"Of course being a naive little kid meant I didn't know what I was getting myself into. I couldn't just come and go as I pleased. Rick made sure I knew that. I had no escape and I realised I was stuck in this shit for fuck knows how long. I was so angry. Mainly at myself for being so fucking stupid in the first place,"

My heart was breaking so I spoke up. "Nixon you're not-"

"I am Mara. I am so fucking stupid. I've been putting my family and Ethan at risk ever since I agreed to this bullshit and now you. I was told recently about a big important deal which is about to go down and there's no fucking way out of it. They need me. And I'm their bitch. This is my life, this is my reality,"

Nixon's eyes were glistening and everything finally made sense to me. I was surprised at what I heard and it was the last thing I expected. I didn't have the words to describe how angry I was about him not having the choice to leave this behind. And this whole time he was being selfless, trying to keep his distance from me. But deep down I wanted the complete opposite.