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Later that night I woke up sprawled out on Zhayne's bed. I couldn't see much and everything was dark, meaning it's nighttime. It confused me. I squinted, trying to recall what happened. The last thing I remember was Zhayne forcing me to drive, essentially helping him murder someone. What took place after that was all a blur.

But here I am now, with nothing on but some skimpy underwear laying in this man's arms. Zhayne had made himself comfortable in between my legs with no clothes on whatsoever. His head was lying on my stomach and his arms were wrapped around me, holding me to him. I was completely basked in his unnatural heat. I can feel every muscle along with every hair on his body pressing against me.

It's too hot.

"Why are you up?" I went stiff as I heard the sudden sound of Zhayne speaking up out of nowhere. He was obviously tired, but he was still stern as if he wasn't just snoring like some maniac. The tone in his voice left a deep rumble resonating in my chest. How did he know I was up? I hadn't moved an inch, nor is he even looking at me. In fact, his face is practically buried in my stomach.

I decided not to give it much thought anymore. The longer I dwell on it, the greater my fear of him gets. Zhayne was an odd...person after all. I can question his weird abilities all I want. I'll never get an answer as to how he's able to do such things.

"I-I don't know." I answered, honestly. I wanted to get from under him but he wasn't allowing me to move at all. He tightened his large arms around me, almost snatching the air from my lungs as he brushes his cheek up against the soft skin. I shivered at the feeling of his light stubble grazing the pale and sensitive surface. "When did we get back?"

"Like 4 hours ago." He mumbled. "You were passed out when Tone and I got back to the car."

"What? Why?"

"Shock."

"Oh."

I decided against saying something to him for making my first time driving a traumatic experience. Not only did I find it a waste of time, but it was also better to talk to him. If it was up to me I wouldn't utter a single word. But I don't have a choice.

And I'm not stupid enough to not respond when he speaks to me. Because he'll take that as me 'trying him' as he likes to say. There's no telling what he'd do. So I just result to speaking when spoken to. I'll never spark up a conversation unless I feel as if I have to.

After a few more moments of silence I heard Zhayne's breaths get lighter and the beating of his heart slowing to a calming pace against my thigh. He had fallen back asleep. I stared down at him, my mind immediately ran wild with so many violent thoughts at once.

Zhayne may be asleep, but he's certainly not vulnerable. Zhayne is just as alert as he is when he is awake, as he's resting. If he can sense me waking up without me having to move at all, he'll definitely catch me before I could even think about doing anything crazy. Knowing him, he's probably already aware that I'm thinking about it right now, but is simply at ease. Or he's testing me again to see if I'd dare to mess up.

Zhayne currently had a knife on the nightstand right beside me. It was so close, within arms reach. I wanted nothing more than to kill him. I wanted to plunge that knife through his chest until I visibly saw the very thing that was keeping him alive. His heart.

It was so simple to think about, really. In my mind all I had to do was grab it and stab him, right? And then it'll all be over. I could go back to my old life. I would save Nas and help him to reunite with his friends. Then, I would return home with with my mother. My old routine would be the same. School. Home.

After a couple seconds of letting the blissful thought repeat in my head, my heart sank as the realization dawned on me again...It's not happening. I'm trapped. It played like a broken record in my mind over and over again...so many times yet I still get the same gut wrenching feeling in my stomach every time I think about it. I was so lost.

I never desired to see the world and use my freedom before, until now. The saying 'You never know what you have until it's gone' didn't mean much to me until now. I should have cherished my freedom while I had it instead of allowing my life to go to waste. But now there's nothing I can do to save myself, it's too late.

I wanted to be free from Zhayne, but that was wishful thinking. Zhayne had told me on multiple occasions that it would get me absolutely nowhere...everyday I spend with him, I feel myself deteriorating. Mentally. I feel like I am far gone, and soon there will be nothing left. He will have took everything.

My eyes welled up with tears.

I wanted to be happy. But I know...

It's a fantasy.

Too good to be true.

It's all in my head. Anything that could make me happy is impossible. Happiness is now a figment of my imagination. Then again, what is happiness? The time I've spent with Zhayne has caused me to forget what it means.

I recall this feeling.

This was similar to way I felt when my dad had gone missing. When I searched and searched yet found nothing, and eventually came to the conclusion that he was dead because I had been given no answers. There was a point in time where I wasn't able to feel any sort of emotion at all. I was hollow. Nothing but the shell of a human being.

It went on for a long time too. I kept my negative thoughts bottled up inside of me and tried to ignore them. But really they were eating me up. No one knew. I kept quiet about it and refused to speak up because no one would understand. Or try to. So I allowed it to eat away at me until I became aware that there was almost nothing left.

I questioned what was wrong with me. Why had I let a man that I hadn't known that well have this much control over my life? I remember thinking I was being absolutely pathetic for it. So after beating myself up over it daily, I decided to pick up the pieces of my broken heart all by myself with no one by my side to help.

I was doing good at first...or so I thought. I liked to think that my dad wasn't on my mind as often as he used to be. Which that was true, because I did things to distract me from that. I knew where that would take me mentally. I was convinced I was healed completely.

I was being delusional.

Zhayne made it clear as day. He took everything away from me that I had to protect me from my questionable thoughts. All the pieces of my heart that I thought I had put back together are starting to fall apart again without any chance of me getting them back. Zhayne's forced me to face my demons head on yet again. But I'm not sure if I can beat them when I'm already dancing with the devil.

"Your heart is beating too fast. What are you thinking about, hm?" Zhayne asked, caressing my hips with his calloused thumbs. Lifting his head up slowly, his dark eyes met mine. He presses a small kiss to the spot just under my bellybutton.

"The knife..." I swallowed, struggling to keep eye contact. "Are you...going to hurt me again, Zhayne?" I inquired. That wasn't the reason why my heart was beating so fast. It's like that because I'm angry.

He smiled, twiddling with the hem of my panties. "That's up to you, beautiful."

"What do you mean?"

"My actions depend on you baby." He kisses my abdomen a few more times before sitting up, allowing me to breathe correctly again for the first time in hours. No wonder why I was in and out of sleep, Zhayne was caving my stomach in with his head. "Come on, dinner should be ready by now."

Zhayne and I got dressed and headed downstairs to eat. When we got situated the kind butler had served us our food and left us to eat our meals in peace.

I didn't give him too much attention when he was here, I didn't even offer him a smile which kind of sucked because he was really nice. In the end though, all I'm doing is looking out for him. Zhayne doesn't allow me to do so much as look at someone, especially another man unless he gives me permission...I felt bad and he probably thought I was being rude, but there was nothing I could do about it.

"Soup again."

"Yes..." I responded twirling the liquid around in the bowl with my spoon as I watched it form into something similar to that of an eye. "I...don't want to eat anything else. I'll throw it up."

"Eventually you'll have to consume other foods. You can't keep eating soup. You're already small and it's doing nothing to help you grow. Starting tomorrow I will make you eat heavier meals." I opened up my mouth to say something but he shook his head. "I'm in no mood to hear you go against my word right now, so just eat."

Sighing, I rest my hand under my chin as I eat my soup in silence, bored out of my mind. I took in my surroundings and tapped my fingers on the table to keep myself occupied throughout the uncomfortable period of time.

Another 10 minutes passed before the butler came in to check on us again. He smiled politely at me and bowed down to Zhayne, asking him how the food was. Zhayne only nodded his head a single time, not giving the man a verbal answer. He seemed to get it though.

With a towel draped over his arm he makes his way over to me, causing Zhayne to look up and for me to freeze in place. I was expecting Zhayne to say something but he only gazed at the butler with an 'oh?' kind of look.

The polite man placed a hand on my shoulder and put the towel down on the table right beside my soup, telling me that was in case I'd made a mess. I barely listened. I glanced up and saw Zhayne's focus planted solely on his hand. I knew right then and there that this would end bad. And there was no use in praying for a miracle of some sort because his eyes had already changed color, meaning he was ready to spill some blood.

Just as the butler tapped my shoulder one last time as if saying goodbye and began walking away, Zhayne spoke up. "So you think you can just touch him?" He asked, not yelling at all, but instead seeming extremely perplexed more than anything. I wanted to help the man so badly, but there was nothing I could do for him. I would only be hurting myself and others if I attempted, so I could only sit in silence as Zhayne questions him, no doubt getting ready to take his life.

The butler's eyes widened, realizing the problem. Right away he began pleading with him, trying to tell Zhayne that he was sorry and that he'd merely forgotten Zhayne's strict rule for no one to touch me unless it was him. Not even Tone was permitted to do so much as brush past me. He was obligated to follow the same guidelines as everyone else. So even though my heart was breaking into pieces for the man, I couldn't help but question what was going through his head.

The servant didn't answer Zhayne's question directly which made the devilish man's mood worsen. "Okay. Since you don't want to talk... how about this." Zhayne got up from his seat and walked over to him. He grabbed him by the back of his shirt and dragged him, ignoring his screams until he'd reaches the wall behind his chair.

Suddenly he opens up a small drawer he had placed not too far from him and takes out a hammer and nail. He snatches the man's tongue between his thumb and forefinger then proceeds to place the thick nail onto it. Then when he felt like it was stable enough he began to hammer the man's tongue into the wall, humming as he screamed at the top of his lungs.

Zhayne did not stop there, when he finished with that he gripped both sides of his head and pulled him away from it. The poor victims bellows intensified as he kept getting pulled further away, until he eventually fell back with blood splattering in the air as he did so. There was still half of his twitching tongue attached to the wall by the nail, which had been hammered all the way through.

He held his mouth and rolled around on the ground in agony, screaming as if he were trying to get a proper sentence out but nothing coherent came out. I was horrified, watching the pitiful victim. He would be better off just dying. But I know Zhayne won't allow that. He wants to have his fun.

Which is exactly what he'd done.

Zhayne ended up cutting off the hand that the man touched me with and shoved the detached limb down his throat, with the help of cutting off his lower jaw since the whole thing wouldn't fit at first.

There wasn't much life left in him after that, but he was still alive and breathing. So Zhayne kept up with his foul torture. He went so far as to undress him and cut open his stomach to grab the hand again, pulling it out through his guts.

Holding the slimy hand, Zhayne kicked the victim over until he was in a fetal position. He was trying to hard to gather all of his insides to stuff them back into place but it was no use. They were spread all over the floor.

Zhayne crouched down and proceeded to slice his hole open to make room and balled the lifeless hand into a fist, shoving it up his ass. Since his stomach had been cut open I could see his hand protruding through what was left of his guts as Zhayne violated the man with his own body part while screaming nonsense as if he could actually hear him.

I was sobbing by now, but I kept quiet. I know I'm sick for thinking this way, but it's a good thing was that Zhayne was so focused on killing the man that he hadn't noticed my tears for him. He'd make me join him otherwise.

Zhayne finished his work by skinning the man's face. It reached from the back of his head until he got to the underside of his chin. I was taken aback and fearful at how precisely Zhayne was able to get it done. No imperfections.

He had the man's entire head's skin and hair in his hands as he stood up, watching him fall limp. He was good as dead. His head was nothing but a large stump of red, soaked in his own blood.

The image of his eyes wide open and his skull nearly protruding from what was left of his head will forever haunt my mind. Along with everyone else I had seen Zhayne torture.

Not long after he finished he called someone in to take his body away and clean up his guts. Then he commanded that the skin of his head be thoroughly cleaned and taken to his torture chamber so it could join the rest of his collection. He ended everything by having the person sanitize his hands for him, then he commands them to feed what was left of the butler to Diablo.

...Then he sits.

He continues eating his dinner, his whole body aside from his hands covered in another human being's blood. The evil man remained calm as if nothing happened. "Why aren't you eating? What's wrong?" Zhayne asks, looking up at me with his entire face covered in blood. I shivered as I looked down at my soup.

"I-I think I lost my appetite."

"Why." He said, sounding more like a statement than a question. Zhayne twirled some of the pasta in his fork and raised it to his mouth and took a large bite. He nodded in approval at the taste. "How much did you eat?"

"I'm...finished with most of it." I told him truthfully. Zhayne took another bite of his food, not responding right away. I was mortified at the fact that he could scarf down an entire meal as if he didn't just spend about an hour spilling a poor person's guts.

"You didn't answer my first question." Zhayne said with a mouth full of pasta. I wanted to side eye him so bad. I don't know if Zhayne is messing with me or is he really just that psychotic to the point where he sees absolutely nothing wrong with this. Or both? Probably.

"What do you mean...why? You just murdered that man for touching my shoulder, Zhayne."

"So you wanted him to touch you?" He ripped his eyes away from his plate with the speed of light, staring at me with a mischievous glint shining in them.

I said nothing like that. Do psycho's always put words in your mouth? "N-no...what I'm trying to say is...you don't think that was harsh? That was far beyond what he deserved. You could have sent him off with a warning..." I trailed off.

Zhayne paused mid-chew.

"Warning..." he mumbled, swallowing the large bite he'd taken out of the pasta. "Warning?" He repeated again as if the word left a sour taste on his tongue. "Fuck you mean warning? I gave him a 'warning' when I let him along with everybody the fuck else know that you are not to be fucking touched."

"Bu-"

"Don't but me unless you want to have tongue boiled and fed to you." He cut me off. "Or would you prefer it fried? I'm down for anything as long as you're in pain." Zhayne said, ultimately shutting me up. "That's what I thought...as I was saying. There is no such thing as a warning with me. If I give you a set of rules, you follow. If you violate them, you die. It is simple. Not fucking rocket science."

He finished his food and wiped his mouth off with a fancy silk cloth which was placed by his plate. "All of my workers know my expectations because I make sure of it. Not meeting those come with grave consequences, especially when it comes to you." Zhayne went on.

"I don't like repeating my fucking self, Angel. I shouldn't have to. So let this be the last time these words have to leave my mouth..." he leaned up, crossing his hands on the table in front of him. "

"Zhayne...that is not fair."

"I don't give a fuck. I don't play about you. You're fully aware of how fucking deranged you make me. I'm willing to do anything for you whether you think it's rational or not. If I had to cause a whole massacre just to prove to you that just the thought of you is enough to make me go psychotic, then I would. I will."

I couldn't respond right away. I found myself feeling both appalled yet pissed off by his sickening words. How could someone say something like that so easily? I know it was useless to ask, since I will most likely never get an answer but it still is something that often lingers in my mind.

Zhayne is something far worse than sick, or evil. The only reason why I use those traits is because there are truly no words in existence that I can use to describe him .

How could I have gotten stuck with someone like Zhayne? What have I done so badly that caused me to deserve any of this? I tried to mind my business and lay low. But the moment I make one mistake, I'm paying for it with my own life?

Thinking about it only made me angrier and will get me nowhere. I absolutely hated that I had to settle with the kind of mindset of just letting everything go, but I can't afford to keep thinking about useless things. Even if I did want to go back and change everything, it's impossible.

I looked away from the table and brought my gaze to Zhayne, who was already studying me as I was deep in thought. He had both of his hands crossed under his chin as he stared blankly at me with his bottom lip slightly poked out.

He had not wiped the blood.

"What's on your mind?"