I didn't know what to do about Alyssa. The war against Dianite was over, thank the gods, but the battle between us was far from resolved. I was afraid the poor girl was only going to get worse now. If what she had said was true, and the only reason she had felt any happiness in the past few years was because of Dianite, then who would she get comfort from now?

I decided to put aside any reason to argue with her so I could be that person. Her mental health mattered a lot more than the burden it put on my shoulders. Let the others complain, if they wanted. Selfish idiots.

"I... I forgive you, Mot," Alyssa said quietly, leaning against the wall and hugging her knees. "I've just been feeling so terrible lately. Worse than any sickness I've ever had, and it never goes away."

"What does it feel like?" I asked her. I had experienced mild depression before we had come to the Realm of Mianite, but I hadn't exactly dealt with it well. I wasn't sure how good my advice would be.

She took a deep breath. "It's tough to explain. At first I felt like it was there was a void in my stomach, sucking all the happiness out of me. It turned the anger into anger and sadness, and released it at random times. Sometimes, even when nothing had happened to provoke it, I just started crying for no reason. I can't explain it."

"I can understand that." I said quietly. Crying without reason is definitely something I can relate to, although I wasn't sure if she realized that. "But you said 'at first'. What about recently?"

She closed her eyes, and a few more tears leaked out. "This might sound strange, but... it felt like all of you were carrying guns. Whenever you wanted, you could shoot someone and leave them with a wound. Since I was young, I wasn't allowed to have one. I was constantly being shot, and the wounds would affect me more than they affected anyone else, probably since they could shoot back. I suppose what Dianite did was help me heal the wounds. And, he gave me the strength I needed to deflect the bullets." She looked up at me worriedly, as if afraid I wouldn't get it.

My mouth was practically open. All it took was this small visual, and I suddenly understood what she had been going through. "It doesn't sound strange, Alyssa, I get it." I stopped and wondered what I could possibly say back to that. "Where did you get most of the wounds from?"

She shrugged. "Mostly from Spark and Jeriah, shrugging me off and telling me I was too young to participate in anything. I had relied on you and Mianite to heal my wounds for a while, but a point came when you both stopped. When you started to realize I needed help, you asked Ianite to talk to me. In the beginning, it helped me, but then I realized that she was just saying the same things as Spark and Jeriah, but in a kinder way. It made the wounds worse, if anything."

"I see." I looked at my feet. "You know... Alyssa... there's a name for what you have. I know quite a bit about it, actually."

She sat upright immediately. "You do? Do you know how to cure it?"

I shook my head. "There's a way to cure it... but it's long and only works for some people. It's called depression, and it affects each person differently."

"Like what?" she turned to face me with eager eyes, as if I was telling her a cozy bedtime story. If only what I was telling her was that pleasant.

"Some people can act like nothing's bothering them in front of other people. Some people can't find happiness in anything at all. Some people feel the need to hurt themselves physically to take away their mental pain." I looked up to see her horrified face.

"I think I get it. Does... does wanting to die count as the last one?" she leaned back against the wall, and I knew she was thinking of her actions back during the battle.

"Yes. It does. It's one of the worst ways depression can affect someone," I answered quietly.

"Mot?" she asked after a moment of hesitation. "How do you know so much about depression?"

The look on my face was the only answer she needed.

"But... I don't remember you ever being like this. Was it before I became your daughter?" I shook my head. She tilted her head, confused, and then the realization came to her. "Oh... wait a moment. Before we came through the portal to here, I remember you crying a lot. I almost forgot about that. It was so long ago."

I couldn't meet her eyes any longer. "I was going through an especially difficult time. Emotionally, that is."

"What caused you to be depressed?" Alyssa asked. "Was it something to do with old Dianite?"

I couldn't admit this to her. Not now. "I'm... I'm sorry. I don't feel like this is the right time to tell you, okay?"

She nodded quickly. "I don't want to pressure you into telling more than you're comfortable with telling. But trust me, I'll be able to relate on some level." She leaned over and gave me a hug.

I hugged her back. "Well, your 13th birthday is approaching, is it not? You'll officially be a teenager."

She looked surprised, as if she hadn't even remembered. "I guess I will be. Why is it important?"

"Maybe we should do something special for you." I got to my feet. "How about we get away from here? Not long, a week maybe. Or two, if you enjoy it. We can take a ton of supplies, and ride our horses into some far-off land. Escape the drama of this place for a bit. It might be relaxing."

Her eyes lit up. "Sounds awesome! I could use some relaxation. But won't the others tell you not to?"

I snorted. "We don't have to tell them. We can just go, and leave them a note or something so they know we're not dead. They're too narrow-minded, and sometimes, you have to bend the rules set by narrow-minded people. As long as it isn't hurting anyone."

The next morning, we had prepared. I left the note on a sign outside of the castle, and loaded chests full of items onto a bunch of mules. We mounted our horses, and rode off into the sunrise. We had already planned so much. We would find a nice flower biome, and sit in the grass making flower crowns. We'd cloud-watch, and stargaze. We'd construct a campfire, and cook our own food once we ran out of the stuff we brought. We'd go fishing and swimming.

Life had treated us unfairly, but we wouldn't let that get to us.