Rasha

I sit in my room talking to my friends on facetime while I'm thinking about Mr.Bashar's words. It's not about you. It's me, If you go to that party I'll make you regret that you even thought about that party. I didn't know what he really meant, but I knew that I really shouldn't go. But still, who is he to me? He's not my boyfriend to tell me where to go? Why can't he control and kiss his fucking girlfriend?! I don't care if he loves me, it will never be something between us. I can't take that fucking risk, I just can't.

''I knew it, she got lost in her thoughts again.'' I heard Medina state. I rolled my eyes before I shook my head, ''No I didn't, what do you want?'' I asked gruffly. Donia and Tamara laughed before Medina opened her mouth again. ''Did you see Mr.Bashar's hand? Do you know what happened?'' She asked, dramatically. I gulp, I almost forgot about that part. Gosh, I still can't believe he did that. He didn't have to punch the wall, what's wrong with him. Bitch that's because you're playing with him. Ugh! Can I shut my mind for once, I'm not playing with him. I fucking care about him.

I clear my throat before I reply, ''uhh... no why would I?'' I lied. I hear her sigh, ''Rasha, I don't know I feel you're lying. When I saw him in the morning with Donia and Tamara he didn't have that bandage wrapped around his hand. But after that math class, we did, and guess what? You're were late for the math class, what a coincidence?'' She was almost shouting, I could hear how pissed she was.

I keep quiet, I don't dare to speak because she's right. And I was ashamed, like always. I'm embarrassed that I always lie to them. But they don't know how hard this is. ''Medina, shut up. She wouldn't lie to us.'' I hear Donia defend me. I feel so bad, god I'm such a bad friend. ''You're right, I was with him. We had an argument.'' I spat. There's a silence between all of us, no one said anything until Tamara added,

''Wait, but didn't you guys have an argument yesterday too? What is this? Why are you acting like this, tell us what is happening.''

I feel my heart racing like crazy, I can't tell them. I was so nervous, but I had to. They are my friends, and the only ones I trust. ''He kissed me, and confessed his feelings.'' The second I said it they all jumped. ''WHAT!''

I flinched at their reaction, and I felt how my earphones vibrated in my ear. ''Did Mr.Bashar kiss you?'' Donia stuttered, like she was about to pee herself. ''He did...''

''Bitchhhh!! And you didn't tell us?! It was your fucking first kiss, was it good? And what did he say? What did you say!? Was it soft or rough? If it was rough, god you found the one!'' Medina freaked out, I could literally hear the excitement in her voice. ''Medina! Shut up! What's wrong with you, is that important right now?!'' Tamara said with a serious tone. A weak smile appeared on my face.

''Could you tell us what happened Rasha? Please, just tell us.'' Donia broke in. I sighed, knowing I hat to tell them. And that's what I did. The whole went by telling them what happened, and they went crazy. Medina and Tamara were so happy for me, that I finally know how Mr.Bashar feels for me. But they also got surprised when I didn't tell Mr.Bashar how I felt for him, they knew that I love him. But Donia thinks what I'm doing is the best, and she also told me that I should I just see what Allah has planned for me.

next morning

Before I ran to the bus I kissed my family goodbye, they are going to Canada for a weekend and I can't be happier. I mean yes, I am going to miss them. But I have the whole house for myself. ''Happy birthday!!'' Aliah shouted excitedly. Right, my birthday. She kissed my forehead and hugged me tightly. ''Thank you!'' I chucked against her neck. Yes, I'm short. I heard my Dad laugh in the background, we pull away and I look at him. ''Happy birthday, my beautiful (Princess).'' He kissed my cheeked and hugged me.

''Thank you guys so much'' I almost cried of happiness, now I don't want them gone. Gosh, I'm bipolar. Minutes later of hugging each other we talk and I listen to my Dad telling me what I can do and not do. And I'm pretty sure he said I can't go to other people's home, expect Donia's. But I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that. After I hugged them and kissed them one more time I ran towards the bus.

And now you may wonder if my mother wished me a happy birthday. Well, I don't even think she knows she gave birth to me on this day. My mother, she doesn't love me. I know, I know they always say that mothers always love their kids even though they don't show it. But really, my mother doesn't even care about me. She never took care of me, she never showed me love or even happiness. She only showed me pain. She once tried to make me marry my cousin, who lives in Iraq. See, she even wanted me away from her. Goddamn.

I walked into school slowly, and let me tell you. Today I looked fire, I put a little makeup on they made me look like a model. Okay, a little bit like a model then. I wore some black jeans with a white T-shirt and a black jeans jacket. Oh right, and I wore a beige scarf with the outfit, and let me tell you gurls. I looked flaw, you know what? I think I invented the world flaw with this outfit! Period.

''One time for the birthday bitch!'' I heard a familiar voice sing, a big smile appears on my face as I turned around. I see my friends laughing and walking towards me. ''Two times for the birthday bitch!'' Medina sang again. I tried so hard to not laugh, but I couldn't. ''Three times for the birthday bitch.'' She hugged me and I burst out laughing.

''Happy birthday!'' They all shout. I hug all of them tightly as we all laugh. I thank them all with a kiss on their cheeks. ''Gurl, I can't believe it. You're 18 now. I just can't, I'm going to cry.'' Medina faked cried. I shook my head with my eyebrows raised.

After they wished me a happy birthday we walked towards our lockers. ''I can't believe, I never thought you would have your first kiss before you've turned 18. I thought you were going to have your first kiss after you turn 25.'' Medina teased. I look at Tamara and Donia who laughs, ''I mean, she's not wrong.'' Tamara said and I shrugged my shoulders.

''Now you even know he loves you.'' Donia walks closer to me. And? What's the use? Before I get to reply I hear them gasp at something they see, I look at them before I turned around. When I turned around I see Tariq walking towards me with a big smile on his face. What I don't notice is that he is holding flowers and chocolate. I widen my eyes, not knowing what to do.

When he is close enough to me he gives the flowers to me, I slowly take them from him as I'm looking up to him. I'm surprised, I don't know what to do. ''Happy birthday Princess.'' He says before he hugs me. I feel my heart racing, and gosh how hot I became. Oh my god, someone help me, please. ''Thank you so much Tariq.'' I whispered. I heard my friends chuckle, ''Awww, so cute.'' My friends clapped their hands.

Saiid

''Mr.Bashar!'' I heard someone shout. I turned around and glanced at my student Trey. ''Thank you so much for yesterday. You helped me so much!'' He said with a smile on his face. I smiled back at him. ''No worries, that's just my duty.'' I nodded at him. We walk towards the school as we talk about random things. ''Yes, so there's a party today hosted by Mason you know the football team's captain. Everyone is going, It's going to be lit.'' I hear him say.

I turn my gaze, right that fucking party. I really hope Rasha won't go, I don't want to destroy her birthday. ''Right, can I ask you for a favor?'' I furrow my eyebrows at him. He runs a hand through his curly hair before he nods. ''You know Rasha?''

''The one with the scarf?'' He asks me. I smiled as a reply. ''Yes. Since you're going can you see if she goes there, and if she does can you text me? Her cousin is my friend, and he always asks me to take care of her.'' Lies.

''Of course, that won't be a problem. I'll text you right away.'' He claps my shoulder. I thank him before he walks over to his friends. I really don't want to do this, I don't be that possessive guy. But I really care for Rasha, I love her and care about her. I don't want anything to happen to her, I know she is angry with me right now and we're fighting and all that unnecessary things. But I will always take care of her, no matter what. She is the woman I love, and I know in some way she feels the same for me.

As I walk into the school I see students greet me, and I do the same. I walk past the lockers and my eyes meet Rasha and her friends talking and laughing. She was holding some flowers and chocolate, then I notice Tariq standing next to her. My hand balled into a fist, I just wanted to beat him to death. Who does he think he is?

Seconds later I see her catching me staring at her. She looks down for a second, then she looks up and gives me a weak smile. I shake my head and look away, I felt the blood boil inside of me of anger. How can she behave like this?

Rasha

I've been in school the whole day and I've seen Mr.Bashar many times but he didn't wish me a happy birthday once. Why is he acting like this? Can't he understand that I'm trying to care for him?! I'm not doing anything wrong, or am I? What the fuck, I'm not! I'm not dating other people as I'm in love with someone. Plus, I'm doing the best. But I'm going to be honest, I've had so much fun today. My friends and I got closer to Tariq's friends, we became really close friends in a few hours and they even made my day better. We laughed so much and even though I'm a little bit upset they made me forget everything bad.

And now I've decided to go to that party, yes I don't care what that fucking jerk will do. What can he do? He can't come, It's only a teenage party. Lol. He thinks he can force me to not go, hahahahaha. As if!

''Yalla, we have to get ready for the party!'' Medina shouted. I looked at her excited ass jumping around. I laughed, ''Alright. I just have to bring my math binders, I forgot them in my lockers. Wait for me in the car.'' I said before I walked towards my lockers. ''Fine, hurry!'' Tamara said.

When I arrive in front of my lockers I dialed my code and locked it up. The second it opened it I saw a little a teddy bear holding a heart that's saying I love you. Next to the bear, there's a bag, I slowly opened the bag. Then I saw a box, a small white box. What is this, who did this? I took out the box from the bag and opened it. My eyes met a silver heart necklace, it was so freaking beautiful. It's was shining and my heart was racing so much. I couldn't believe it, but who did this?

No one knew my locker code, not even my friends? The only one who knows my locker code is... Mr.Bashar? He is the only one, then did he do all this? I felt tears escape my eyes, why am I doing this to him? Why am I doing this to someone so fucking precious, I fucking love him so much. Why Allah, why is this happening? Why does this hurt? Why can't he be mine?

I look inside the plastic bag again and see there's a note left. I took it and slowly read what it said. ''Happy birthday to the most stunning woman on earth, the woman who I think about a lot and love. I can't believe you're finally 18, an age I never thought you will hit because of your childish behavior. Rasha, I love you. I love you more than anyone else, I know I've said it before, and I know you won't accept my love for you. But I can't stop telling you how I feel, even though I stay mad at you, I will always love you. No matter what. Happy birthday Rasha. I love you, yet again.''

I cried, I cried as I read the note. I can't believe it, I can't believe this. I have to find him, I have to find him and tell him how much I love him. I must tell him, I can't hold it into myself anymore. I have tell him! I put the things back in my locker before I lock my locker. As soon as I try run towards his classroom I hear someone shout after me.

I turn around and glance at Donia running towards me. She grabs my wrist and starts walking out of the school. I look at her confused, ''What are you doing?'' I asked with my eyebrows furrowed. ''You're taking to long, we need to get ready for the party.''

Saiid

As I walked into the kitchen I saw my friends and Sally eating dinner. ''Saiid, come sit down.'' Nadia said as soon as she saw me. I took a seat next to Sally. ''Have you been waiting for me?'' I asked. I heard Sally chuckle, ''A little bit.'' She kissed my cheek. When Sally touches me or kisses me it feels like I'm cheating on Rasha. We aren't a thing, but it still feels like I'm cheating on her. I feel like I only belong to Rasha, no one but Rasha.

''That's so cute.'' Mac mocked as everyone laughed, expect Nadia. I could see that she faked gagged. She still hates Sally, for some reason. But I didn't care what was going on, the only thing I cared about was Rasha. I just hope she doesn't go to that fucking party, just be smart for once Rasha. Don't go to that party.

a few hours later

''Let's go Adnan, you got this!'' I look at Mac clapping Adnan's shoulder as Adnan is fighting someone in Fortnite. I laugh silently at their actions. They look so foolish. All of a sudden I feel Sally resting her head on my shoulder, ''You're so handsome when you smile.'' She compliments me. I smile as an answer, but nothing more. I didn't want to give her hopes, I wanted to show Sally in any kind of way that I wasn't into her. I want her to know that I don't feel the same way, without breaking her heart.

I heard that someone sent a text to my phone. I slowly took my phone from up and saw that Trey had sent me a message. God, please don't make him say that she's there.

''Mr.Bashar.'' - Trey. Before I answered I took a deep breath. I tried to convince myself that Rasha wasn't dumb enough to go to that party. She won't go to that party, Rasha is smart.

''Yes?'' I replied. She isn't there, she isn't there. She isn't there, she isn't there, she isn't there. She's at home eating her favorite chips and watching a movie.

''She's here with some friends, she looks like she's having fun.'' - Trey.

My heart skipped a beat as I read the message. I didn't want to believe it, maybe he saw some other girl. No, don't try to fucking find excuses. She clearly went, she went with that fucking jerk. The anger inside of me grew and gosh I just wanted to punch someone. I immediately stood up not caring that Sally's head was resting on my shoulder. Everyone looked at me confused, but I didn't bother to care what they thought. I started to search for my car keys, I couldn't find them.

What a coincidence? I was searching for them as my friends asked what was going on, but I avoided them. I didn't have time to fucking care about what they said. Right now I needed to bring that fucking girl back. After giving up on searching for my keys I looked at Adnan, ''Give me your car keys.''

He looked at me with raised eyebrows. ''Why, what's going on-'' I interrupted him by yelling. ''Give me your fucking keys, goddamit!'' He gulped before he passed me his car keys. After I took them I ran towards the hallway and wore my shoes, I didn't even tie my shoelaces. I didn't have time.

I ran towards his car and started it as soon as I got in. As I driving I asked Trey to sent the adress. Gosh, I don't know what I will do. I try to calm myself down but I don't work at all. I don't want to be angry at her, I never wanted too. But she just has to find something to make me go crazy! I was so mad that I was about to crash with a few cars. But I didn't think about that, the only thing I thought about was Rasha.

Why she was doing this to me.

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