Saiid

Monday

As soon as I woke up I got ready for work, I wore a long neck t-shirt with black pants. I haven't talked to others since yesterday, nor did they try to talk to me. I understood that I did wrong, but Mac, he really annoyed me. What he said annoyed me, because everything he said was true. And that's why I smacked him, because he said the truth. He said that I'm Rasha's teacher, and I can't love her. He said that I've never loved anyone but Rasha. He said... that she only sees me as a teacher, and it was all true. That's why I smacked him, because he was right.

It annoyed and frustrated the shit out of me. I just wanted him to shut up, I was already trying to keep my mind distracted from Rasha. I silently walk into the kitchen, I see Mac, Adnan, and Nadia eating their breakfast without a word coming out of their mouths. As soon as they notice me they looked down, they acted like I wasn't there. I made my own breakfast as everyone was quiet. '' Good morning everyone! '' Jaffar said excitedly. Everyone looks at him, '' Good morning. '' I say. '' Are you going to work now Saiid? '' Jaffar asks me, I look at him with furrowed eyebrows. I nod carefully, '' Yes. I am. '' I reply.

He smiles at me, '' Good, I'll drive you there. '' he says and opens the fridge. I turn around at him, '' But, I have a car? '' I look at him with furrowed eyebrows. '' I don't matter, I'll just drive you there. I have to talk to you. '' He shakes his head. I nod my head as I reply.

We get out of the house and unlock Jaffar's car. I take a seat on the passenger seat as Jaffar sits on the driver seat. As soon as he shuts the car door he starts the car and starts driving. There's a silence between for a few minutes, he probably thinks about how he should start talking. '' So, Mac told me everything. '' He breaks the silence. I sigh loudly, '' That piece of shit. '' I say frustrated. '' But I forced him to, he didn't tell the others but for me. '' He says trying to defend him. I look out of the window, now both of my friends know that I love my student.

'' So you love Rasha. '' I don't know if it was a question or something he was trying to understand. I don't say anything, I just wanted to keep the silence like this. '' It really shocked me, I mean you barley liked any girl we introduced you too, I actually thought you would stay single all your life. It was shocking, but Mac is right. You just can't, you'll end up in trouble. If Yasin finds out he will- '' I interrupt his sentence, '' Jaffar, these feelings, they are just temporarily. I will lose these feelings as soon as possible. '' I said, but I didn't know if it was a lie or the truth. '' oh... but don't you think you should start dating, I mean there are many girls who want to date you. What about Aisha or your ex Kianna. You almost liked her. ''

I turn my gaze at him, I didn't know what to say. I didn't know if it was a good idea or not, but I needed to lose these feelings. '' Or wait, Hala. What about Hala, she's really beautiful and funny. '' He says with excitement, I nod carefully without even knowing if I agreed or not. '' Good, I'll invite her over tonight. '' He claps my shoulder as he looks out in the driveway.

What am I doing?

Rasha

I walk into the school with slow and hard steps, for some reason I just wanted to run back home. Not only because it's Monday, I just felt like I needed space to think. To think about everything, I mean... I just realized that I have feelings for my teacher. How does that make sense? I just don't get it, how could I like Mr.Bashar? We always argue, and I feel like I always get mad at him? So how could I like him? But there are times I think about him a lot, and when I look at I get those butterflies... so now what should I do? Should I try to lose these feelings, or should I confess?

WHAT? CONFESS? ARE YOU DUMB? THE MAN WOULD'VE LAUGHED AT ME AND MADE FUN OF ME! And as I said to Medina, a guy at age 25 can get hotter women so I could dream on. This is so messed up, what should I do? '' Rasha. '' I hear someone say behind me, I slowly turn around and see Tariq looking at me with a serious expression. Wait, did he just call me by name? Like really, did he just call me by my name? Wait, as I'm looking at him I notice bruises everywhere on his face, there's dried blood on his lips. What happened to him?

'' Tariq. '' I said with a confused tone. He took some steps closer to me, he sighed before he spoke. '' I just don't get why you did that. we planned to meet, I texted you when we were going to meet and where on Saturday. I waited for you yesterday for a few hours, I thought you would come. I called you but you didn't answer. Why would you even do that? '' He said with an annoyed tone, I looked at him with my eyes widen. Wait, what? Is he joking or something, I know he really called me and texted me the address but I thought he was joking? Did I really leave him waiting for me a few hours? '' Tariq, I thought you were joking. I didn- '' He interrupted me by letting out a loud sigh.

'' I know I've done worse to you Rasha, I suddenly cut our contact. But I had a reason for it, I had a fucking reason. I joined a gang not because I wanted to, I joined a gang because I was forced to. And I lost contact with you because I was worried that something would've ever happened to you if I ever did something wrong. '' He yelled at me, he yelled really loud that made everyone's eyes on us. My heart was pounding really fast and I felt like I was sweating. I was embarrassed, I did something really awful. How could I? '' Do you know what happened to me, do you see this?! Do you fucking see this? This happened only because I was waiting for you. '' He points at his bruises. It was obvious that he got into a fight with someone or a gang. I felt a tear rolling down my cheek. I wanted to say something but I was too embarrassed.

'' That's enough. '' I heard someone state. I turned around and saw Mr.Bashar looking at Tariq with a straight expression. '' Your class is starting in a few minutes, get your binders and go. '' He said to Tariq. Tariq looks at Mr.Bashar for a second and then he looks at me as he shakes his head, '' Fuck you Rasha. '' He says before he left. I feel my whole body turn weaker. I wanted to apologize, I did something that I'll never expect to do. I turned around at Mr.Bashar again, he looks at me with an angry expression. I expect him to take me by the wrist and starts walking towards his classroom, I expect him to argue with me and yell at me. But he just stares at me, I swallow a gulp as I look down. '' The same to you, your class starts in a few minutes. '' He says before he leaves.

I see him walking towards his class, great my whole day is already ruined. '' Rasha! '' I heard familiar voices shout, I see Medina, Donia and Tamara run towards me. '' What happened, I heard you and Tariq had and huge fight! '' Medina shouts breathlessly. I sigh, now you see in this school things get spread with a blink of an eye. I nod carefully as an answer. '' What! I will beat that jerk! '' Medina says with a frustrated tone. I shake my head, '' No, this time it was my fault. I was wrong this time. '' I tell them. They look at me confused, '' What do you mean? '' Medina asks. '' I'll tell you later. ''

lunchtime

'' Wow, I'm so sorry Rasha but that's messed up... '' Tamara nervously says. '' Shit, he really waited for you for a few hours? '' Medina asked, even though she knows he did. I don't know what to say, I'm so embarrassed. In fact, I'm really embarrassed. People have been spreading rumors about me the whole day, like I called people to beat Tariq or that I rejected him out there. People have even whispered things about me when I've walked past them, one of the worst ones was these Muslims pretend like they are the cleanest but actually is the nasties. Yes someone really said. The thing is I don't know what I really did but I feel really awful. '' You good? '' I feel Donia's arm around my shoulder. I look at her with a weak smile on my face.

'' Yes, I'm fine. '' I reply.

Saiid

'' One of your students really did that? '' Ms.Gardenia asked Mr.Andersson with a big smile on her face. He laughs, '' He really did, I yelled at him but at the same time, I was laughing really hard. '' He explains as everyone laughs. '' That's sick. '' I said and he nodded. '' I know bro. '' a few minutes of talking Mrs.Green walks in. '' Guys, have you heard about what happened? '' She asks. We all look at her, '' What happened? '' Ms.Gardenia asks Mrs.Smith. She sighs before she speaks, '' Students are spreading rumors about Rasha, they call her bad Muslim and nasty. '' She tells us. I feel the blood boil inside me, why am I getting angry. They are talking about her, I shouldn't care. '' Wow, why? What has she done? '' Mr.Andersson asks with a confused expression.

Mrs.Smith shrugs her shoulders, '' I overheard a student saying that she called people on Tariq to beat him. '' She says. That can't be true, Rasha isn't that type of person. Does that explain why they had a huge fight earlier? When I walked into the school I saw Tariq yelling at Rasha. Rasha looked confused and sad, I felt how I wanted to punch the shit of that kid. Who does he think he is? But Jaffar's words were stopping me. Lose these feelings before you lose yourself. He's right, I should only treat her like my other students, I have to, for my own sake. But there's something stopping me, I care about her. Seeing her happy is the most important thing in my life right now.

'' Should we do something about it? Poor sweet Rasha must be really upset. '' Ms.Gardenia says with a caring tone as she looks at everyone. '' No, let the kids be. '' I shake my head carefully. I don't know why I said that, but I didn't them to get involved. They look at me confused as they nod and kept their mouth shut.

Rasha

'' Let's go Rasha, we have P.E now! '' Medina crosses arms with me, I look at her. Right, I have Mr.Bashar now. I haven't seen him for the whole day, the last time I saw him was earlier when he glared at me. Was he angry at me? Did I do something wrong? I don't think I di- oh maybe because I was near Tariq? He never likes it when I talk to him, but didn't he notice that he was yelling at me. I mean the whole school did. I walk into the gym with Medina we look around and see the rest of the class sitting on a few benches. Medina and I sit on the benches with the other, but as soon as they look at me they start rolling their eyes and whisper. '' Ignore them, they smell trash. '' Medina comforts me. I smile at her and nod.

'' Okay, class, silence. '' I hear Mr.Bashar say. As I look at him I feel my heart tickling, ughh can I stop my insides stop for once? He looks around, when his eyes met mine I didn't know what to do so I smiled. CRINGE! What the hell is wrong with me? Why am I behaving like this? He starts telling us about what we are going to do today, about us jogging for a few minutes and playing basketball later. The whole period goes by with people pushing me and making me trip, I didn't know everyone liked Tariq that much. For some reason Tariq wasn't here, I guess he skipped school today. I think he only came by to yell at me.

So I suffered the whole period, and I didn't want to make a scene because my day was already ruined. It's the last few minutes until we finish the lesson and I can't wait until I get home. '' Rasha! Catch! '' I hear Cody shout, I see the ball fly towards me. I catch and run towards the basketball goal to make a shot.

As I'm about to shoot the shot I see Selena running towards me, '' This is what you get for being a bitch! '' She pushes me really hard. I fall on my hand and I feel my hand twist, '' Ahh! '' I groan of pain. '' Selena what the fuck!? '' I hear Cody frown. He walks up to me, '' Rasha, can you get up? '' He asks me. I look up at him, I try to not cry. The pain is killing me, I can't even move my hand. I shake my head as a reply. I see Medina pushing Selena and yelling at her, '' I fucking saw you, you pushed her you whore! '' She yells. Selena starts pushing back, then Medina slaps her really hard. '' Ohh! '' Everyone gasps. I look around to see where Mr.Bashar, he is nowhere in sight.

Saiid

I walk into the teacher's locker room to grab my phone. As I grab my phone I hear yelling from the gym, when I walk into the room I widen my eyes. I see Medina on top of Selena, I see her punching Selena as Selena screams. The students are trying to stop them but they don't stop. I look around for Rasha, when my eyes lay on her I notice her sitting on the floor. She's holding her arm like she's hurt, I see Cody trying to help her. What the fuck is going on? Why the fuck is she holding her arm like that? I run towards Medina, I carry Medina away from Selena. As soon as I let go of Medina I shout at everyone, '' What the fuck is going on?! '' I look at everyone.

I see them looking down, '' Are you kids? Are you kids to fight like that! '' I look at Medina. She doesn't answer but she shakes her head. '' I'll help you up. '' I hear Coby say. I look at Coby helping Rasha up, I look at them with my hand turning into a fist. I walk towards Rasha, I look at her hand as she looks up at me. I don't dare to look at her, I just don't want to look at her. '' What happened? '' I asked as my eyes were still on her hand. '' Mr.Bashar! Selena pushed Rasha, then Rasha injured her hand! '' I hear Hunter say. I close my eyes to take a deep breath, why does this girl always get into trouble?

I sigh before I speak, '' Everyone, go change. Rasha, stay behind. '' I said as I felt how frustrated I was. Everyone walked into the locker rooms, when it was only me and Rasha left I finally looked at her. She was looking down at her hand, damn. I hate seeing her like this, it was too painful for me. I took her hand and pulled up her long-sleeve shirt to have a look at her arm. It wasn't something serious, but she will get a bruise on her arm. '' Rasha, don't worry. It's nothing serious. '' I say. She doesn't look up at me nor does she reply. I lift her chin up, her eyes finally met mine and I felt how weak I became. I saw the pain in her eyes, she was really hurting.

'' Rasha, are you alright? '' I ask, of course she wasn't but I needed her to open up for me. I see her looking down again. Suddenly I hear her sob, she shakes her head. '' I'm going to be honest with you, I feel like shit. '' She cries. She's crying, she's fucking crying. Fuck! No! What should I do?! This is my fault, if I had beaten Tariq up at that moment this wouldn't happen. '' But why would you care? This is none of your concern. '' She says, she tries to walk away but I take her by the waist and pull her against me. I hug her gently, I hug her to make her feel better. But it feels like I'm only making myself better. I feel my heart pound faster as I start sweating everywhere. Dang, what's happening with me?

'' Mr.Bashar, let go of me. What if someone sees? '' She stutters, but I don't do as she says. I caress her head carefully, I felt really angry. I didn't want her to be like that, I want her to laugh and smile. I pull away and look at her, Her eyes and nose are red from crying. I wipe her tears slowly. '' Do you want me to kill all of them? '' I ask her with a serious tone. She gives me a small smile, '' It's fine, I'm just overreacting. '' She whispers. I shake my head, '' You're not overreacting, okay? They are animals who like to see you suffer. '' I say to make her feel better. She nods with a smile on her face. '' Do you want me to drive you home? '' I ask her with a soft tone. She shakes her head, '' It's fine, the girls are driving me home. '' She replies.

I nod, I look at her for a few seconds. I don't want to let go of her, I want her to be with me the whole day, I want to spend this day with her. I want her to laugh at my jokes and I want to make fun of her. Before I let go of her I bring her face closer to me by gently pulling the back of her neck towards me. I slowly kiss her forehead without thinking. I feel my heart go crazy as my throat is about to explode, what the fuck am I doing? I pull away and look at her looking at me shocked. Believe me, I'm shocked at my actions too.

'' Go change now. '' I say with a smile on my face, she nods and walks towards the girl's locker room. I breathe slowly, it feels like I lost my breath.

what the fuck did I just do?!