Rasha

Looking at him so closely made my heart pound really fast, It felt like my whole body was about to explode. The bones inside of me became so weak and I felt my stomach getting tighter. I was looking at him so deeply, I just wanted to get my eyes off of him but I just couldn't. He drove me crazy, I don't know what I should do. He is so close to me and my brain tells me to push him away from me but my heart tells me that I should love this moment. '' Saiid, what are you doing? '' I don't know why I called him by his name, It just got out of my mouth. He put his hand on the door beside my head, I swear my hands were sweating as I smelled his cologne. I couldn't take it, what the fuck is happening to me... 

'' Rasha, be a good girl and let me explain. '' He says softly. I swallow a gulp as I look down. He lets out a chuckle and lifts up my chin up with his finger, '' Okay, explain. '' I said annoyed. He sighed loudly before he spoke, '' I don't know why I acted that way, I don't know what got into me. I couldn't believe I yelled at you, I just, I'm sorry. '' He gave me a small smile. I sighed and nodded, '' Then why did you not talk to me these past days? '' I asked with my left eyebrow raised. He itched his beard, '' Because I tried, I mean I tried to look at you and I wanted your attention. But you didn't notice me. It's like you really wanted to ignore me. '' He said and I gasped.

'' Mr.Bashar, how could you say that?! I was the one who tried to get your attention, but all you did was to flirt with these hoes. '' I spat, fuck I just fucking exposed myself. Now he will think I'm obsessed with him, I'M SO FUCKING DUMBBB! He laughs loudly as he leans closer to me. I realized that we were so close that our lips were almost touching. My face heated up like I just suddenly got a fever. '' Are you jealous? '' He winked. 

I widen my eyes at him as I put my hands on his chest to push him away. I felt how his chest was perfectly built, gosh can't he just stop? '' Pffftttt..... Hahahaha! Me? Jealous? Why would I be jealous? I mean why would I care if my teacher talks to other girls? '' I stutter as I try to look away. '' Exactly, so why would you care if I look or talk to another girl? '' He grins, I folded my arms. Really? So he wanna play this game? Let me remind him that two can play this game. '' Let me remind you that you always get angry when Tariq talks or even look at me, so who's jealous now? '' I smirk at him, he laughs and shakes his head. 

He stands properly and looks down at me like I'm a toddler. He takes me by my wrist and pulls me towards him. I look up at him with a confused expression, '' I don't know, but it feels like it. '' He sighs. I furrow my eyebrows, '' You're jealous? '' I ask him. '' I think I am. '' He says with a smile on his face. I didn't know what to say, to be honest, I forgot how to use my mouth. Suddenly we hear the door open, he immediately lets go of me. We turn around as we see the principal, Mrs.Smith, and Elissa coming into Mr.Bashar. Wow, I just realized what I did to her. I made her look like a mess. '' What is this behavior! How old are you guys?! '' The principal yells at Elissa and me.

I feel how hot I become inside of me, I'm so embarrassed. Ughhhhh, I feel so embarrassing. They order Elissa and I take a seat next to each other, they stand in front of the seat we're sitting on. '' This is so stupid, aren't you guys embarrassed about yourselves? '' Mrs.Smith asks us. I look at Mr.Bashar who looks at me. '' This whore started it all! '' I hear Elissa frown. I turn around to look at her, I feel the anger inside me grow, should I just kill her right here and now? '' Enough Melissa! It doesn't matter who started it, you both had a fight like kids. Even kindergarten kids don't act like that! '' 

'' We have to call your parents about this. '' The principal says as he looks at Mr.Bashar. No! No! No! Not my parents, I already have been arguing with my father for these past days. I don't want any more trouble. A few minutes later of scolding us they finally let us get of the classroom. I stand up from my seat and I'm about to walk out after the principal. But I feel Mr.Bashar dragging me into the classroom again. He shouts the door after they went out. I look at him as he looks down at me. 

'' Rash- '' He tries to say something but I interrupt him. '' Mr.Bashar, please not now. I'm not in the mood of arguing. '' I say with a trembling voice. I feel tears wanting to escape my eyes, but I don't let them. I don't want him to see me weak, I don't be want to be weak in front of him. Even though I am the weakest person in this world but I don't show it. He nods as he lets go of me. I slowly walk out of his room, as soon as the door closes I take a deep breath. I feel the tears run down my cheek, I feel like I need to cry. I don't know why? I just feel like I need to cry really hard, to set everything I've been hiding inside of me free. I see Donia run towards me, I wipe the tears away from my cheeks as soon as I saw her.

'' Rasha! What happened!? '' Donia almost yelled. I smiled at her, '' Nothing to worry about. They just talked to us, nothing important. '' I told her, I mean It wasn't a lie. She nods and we walk off to our next class.

next day, saturday

'' Baba, please It already happened. '' I sigh as I look down at my plate. '' Is this how I raised you? To fight people? To embarrass yourself! '' He slaps the table beside where I'm sitting, I flinch. '' Baba, you already scolded me yesterday! '' I accidentally shout as I stood up from my seat. I felt a hard slap coming across my face. ''Baba! '' I heard my sister Aliah shout. I saw my mother looking down at her plate, of course, she doesn't dare to say anything. It's not like It's the first time. '' You dare to shout at me? You dare to fucking shout at me! '' He yelled in Arabic.

'' Baba, calm down. She didn't mean it. '' Aliah defended me. I looked down at the ground, at this moment I just wanted to give up my life. It's not like anyone cares about how I feel. '' Take your sister away from my face, I don't want to see her. '' My dad frowned as Aliah nodded. Aliah grabbed my hand and walked over to my room.

i hate my life

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