"LEXA!"

Clarke jumped up, when she realized it was a dream she started crying. The dream felt so real, she was so glad it was a dream and she started to cry imagining losing Lexa.

Lexa woke up seconds later to see Clarke crying and immediately wrapped her arms around her.

"Shhhh, it's okay baby. Your okay, I got you."

"I- I- Y- You- I- We- I-" Clarke stuttered not being able to make a sentence.

"Shhhh, it's okay, whatever happened will be okay. It was just a dream, I got you baby."

"He- you- y- you died. H- he- he killed y- you."

"I'm right here baby, it was a nightmare. See," Lexa said as she put Clarke's hand under her shirt, "I'm right here. You can feel me, you can hear me, you can see me, and you can feel my warmth. I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere."

"C- c- can you, umm can y- y- you-" before Clarke could finish her sentence Lexa had taken her shirt off and had her hands on the hem of Clarke's shirt.

"Can you raise your arms from me?"

Once the shirts and pants were somewhere on the floor they laid back down and Lexa wrapped them in the blanket.

"I'm right here, it's okay baby, I'm not going anywhere," Lexa said as she hugged Clarke tightly.

"Th- Thank you."

"For what baby?"

"For being here for me, for understanding. I mean who thinks oh let me take our clothes off while my partner is in the middle of hyperventilating?"

"I remembered you saying how you need to feel as much of me as possible. That you needed to feel the heat coming off me. I just did what I thought would help."

"W- Will you be here when I wake up?"

"Of course I will, where could I possibly go?"

"I don't know, I just- I- I-"

"It's okay, do you wanna talk about it in the morning?" Lexa asked getting a nod from Clarke. "Okay, then let's go to sleep. Goodnight baby."

"Night Lexa," Clarke said cuddling into the brunette.

Hours later the sun was shining through currants waking Clarke up. Her eyes were still shut as she stretched and turned to hug her girlfriend, but Lexa wasn't there. She started to freak out as she looked around the room. She could hardly see, her eyes still blurry from sleep, but she could see the light shining onto a slim tall figure.

Clarke rubbed her eyes and smiled at how beautiful her girlfriend was. She was facing her bookshelf, wearing Clarke's shirt, the sun hitting her tan legs and chestnut hair perfectly, her hair was in messy curls, and she had her glasses on as she bent over looking at the books.

"You scared me," Clarke said.

"Oh I'm sorry, I just wanted to get a book so I could read, I was gonna come back. I just didn't know how long you were going to be sleeping for."

"Not because of that, well that too, but that's not what I'm talking about. I thought I was in heaven."

"I'm so confused," Lexa said as she sat back down on the bed.

"I thought I died and went to heaven because I saw an angel." Clarke watched Lexa's face become even more confused and let out a chuckle, "You're so clueless sometimes. I'm saying you look extremely beautiful, like an angel."

"Ohhh, wow I'm stupid," Lexa said as she started to blush.

"I don't get it, I've flirted with you almost every day since I met you and you still don't know when I'm flirting. Am I that bad at flirting? I could have sworn I was pretty good."

"No, I'm just an idiot."

"Clueless? Maybe. But an idiot? No, not at all. Never call yourself an idiot because it's not true."

"I love you," Lexa said before kissing Clarke.

"I love you too baby, and your so cute with glasses," Clarke was as she watch Lexa take them off. "Also, you look adorably cute in my shirt."

"Oh, I didn't even realize. I just put the first shirt on I saw in case my dad walked in while I was grabbing a book."

"But it'd probably look better on the floor," Clarke said with a smirk.

"I- I- I- umm,"

"Why do cliches always work on you?"

"I umm, I- I don't know," Lexa stuttered as she blushed.

Clarke kissed her as she straddled her lap. Lexa's hands went around Clarke's waist holding her tighter, while Clarke's went to pull off Lexa's shirt.

"No," Lexa said pulling away from the kiss.

"Why?" Clarke pouted.

"Because my family's home."

"But they were home last night."

"I- I- that was different."

"Fine," Clarke said as she pushed Lexa down, so she was laying on her back, and then laid on top of her.

"So your just gonna lay on top of me?"

"Am I crushing you?"

"No."

"Then yes, I'm gonna stay like this forever because it's surprisingly comfortable."

Lexa let out a laugh as she kissed Clarke on the forehead and started to rub her back.

"Should we talk about last night?" Clarke asked.

"What part?"

"Everything."

"Yeah, if you're ready."

"Yeah, but umm, can we start with what happened during sex? It's definitely something we should talk about."

"Oh, umm yeah, yeah okay."

"So, I did some things...said some stuff."

"You did, you umm, you definitely did."

"I don't know where it came from, I've never been that dominant before."

"Wait, really?"

"Why do you sound so surprised?"

"I mean because when you were calling me umm, you know..."

"A good girl?"

"Yeah that. When you were calling me that, it just sounded so natural, like it was something you say. I don't know what I mean, just I thought you might have said that with other partners before."

"I've only said it once, and it was actually with you in the shower, before we started dating. But it happened so fast, I didn't realize till we were about to go to sleep, and I don't think you realized at all."

"No, I didn't. I thought that was the first time you ever said it to me."

"So, did you like it?"

"I- umm yeah. I- I- I don't know why but when you said that or said how I was pretty i- it made me want to listen. Like how you told me to get on my knees, I wanted to because you told me I was a umm, you know, seconds before. It's weird I know."

"Not weird, it's called being submissive."

"I- I am not- I am not submissive," Lexa said causing Clarke to laugh. "What I'm serious?"

"You got on your knees just because I told you to, you suck on my fingers because I told you to, you apparently have a praise kink, and not to mention the look in your eye whenever my hand goes anywhere near your throat."

"I- I- I do not have a praise kink."

"Yes you do, and to be perfectly honest I love it and can't wait to find out if you have any other kinks."

"I- I- umm, you- I- w- we- I- I," Lexa stuttered as her face became redder than it already was.

"Just admit you're the sub and I'm the dom in this relationship, just like your the bottom and I'm the top."

"I- I- Get off me," Lexa said as she tried to wiggle Clarke off of her.

"Not until you admit it."

"It's not gonna happen because it's not true."

"Then I'm not getting off."

"You're a jerk."

"You love me. Oh, and umm, well I kinda liked when you bit me. I'm not positive why."

"The pain," Lexa said softly.

Clarke looked up at her waiting for her to explain but it was like Lexa was in a world of her own.

"Hello?" Clarke asked waving her hand in Lexa's face.

"Huh? Oh yeah sorry, it's the pain, for me when you pinch my umm..."

"Nipples?"

"Yeah, when you pinch or bite them harder than usual there's a small amount of pain and it's like I crave it and want to feel it as much of it as possible. I don't know how to explain it, but yeah that could be why you liked the biting."

"Oh, I guess that could be why and if you do bite me again, which I honestly wouldn't mind, just don't do it so I bleed because just thinking about that is kind of a turn-off."

"Yeah, of course. I mean, to be honest, even if you wanted me to I don't think I'd be able to. I wouldn't want to hurt you no matter how much pleasure it gave you."

"So now that we know each other's boundaries on that, what were you thinking about a second ago?"

"I was trying to remember when I bit you and why I bit you, which turned into just thinking about everything that happened," Lexa said as she looked down to see Clarke smirking. "Don't smirk, now what do you wanna talk about next?"

"Okay, umm so remember how you were calling me beautiful and saying all the things you loved about me, and I said it wasn't true?"

"Yeah I remember, and I'm still upset you could say that about yourself."

"I know I might seem cocky but it's just an act. I'm extremely self-conscious about my body, I- I hated my body for a long time, and sometimes, well a lot of times, I still do."

"But how? You're so beautiful, you're the most beautiful girl at school, no in the world."

"Your only saying that. We're dating so you're forced to say it."

"Clarke, I was attracted to you the first time I ever looked at you. I never told you this and I'm surprised I never did, but I saw you before I was called into the office. When I got to school I walked by and saw you with your friends, I actually almost tripped on a step that I didn't know was there because I was looking at you. And then I saw you again when I was in the office. I was sitting in front of Monty's mum's desk when I heard the door open. You walked by not even paying attention to me, and I was in awe, it was like you were walking in slow motion. And when the door closed behind you I kept staring at the door, hoping I'd see you walk out. When I realized I had to go into the same room you were in, I started freaking out, hoping I looked okay. I didn't even know you yet, but I knew you were the most beautiful person I ever saw."

"You liked me before we even met?"

"Yeah, and that day during pottery I started freaking out when you touched my hand. I had so many butterflies and it was extremely confusing because I thought I was straight. But the reason I'm saying all this is because how could you think you weren't perfect when you look like a greek goddess who literally makes everyone fall in love with you just by your looks? You're like Aphrodite."

"Isn't she the goddess of love though?"

"She's supposed to be the most beautiful goddess who's the goddess of love, passion, and sex."

"I mean if last night is anything to do by, I am pretty good at sex. Don't you agree, with your ass not being able to walk for a couple of minutes."

"Clarke, I'm being serious. Can you tell me why you feel that way about yourself? It's okay if you don't want to, but I'd like you to."

"The dick, he use to say stuff and it made me hate myself. I umm, there's something I never told you, I- I told your dad, that's why he was worried when I was in the bathroom. Umm so basically I uhh, when I was umm, I- I- I umm-"

"Hey, baby it's okay. Just take your time," Lexa said as she rubbed Clarke's back and gave her soft kisses on her head.

"Basically after everything happened with the dick I was in a psych ward for a month, a- at the hospital my mom worked at, because I tried killing myself, obviously it didn't work, but yeah. The place wasn't as bad as they make it in the movies and shows. Everyone was chill, I had a roommate who used to tell me there was someone behind me who was trying to stab me until I told my mom and she moved me into my own room, but other than that it was pretty okay," Clarke said extremely fast.

Clarke started to get worried when Lexa didn't answer. She nervously moved her head off the brunette's chest to look up at her. Lexa was nodding her head slowly, taking in everything Clarke just said as she held back tears.

"Are you okay?" Clarke asked.

"Yeah, I just umm, yeah. Are you?"

"In this very moment, laying on top of you? Yes, I'm doing great."

"Good, good."

"What are you thinking about?"

"Umm nothing."

"Lexa just tell me."

"I'm just- I don't know. I know it was the past and you're better now so I shouldn't be upset or at least not as upset as I am, but I'm extremely upset that I wasn't there for you. I know it's stupid because I didn't even know you existed, but I am. I just wish I could have been there so you could have had someone to talk to."

"So you don't think of me differently?"

"What? No, of course not, I could never. You went through some horrible things and I'm just upset I couldn't have been there for you."

"But you are now."

"Do you promise to talk to me about things, instead of doing what you did last night where you got drunk and locked yourself in my bathroom? Tell me everything, like how you just told me about this?"

"It'll be hard because that's basically all I've ever done, but I can try. I love you and I'll try anything for you."

"I love you so much," Lexa said hugging Clarke.

"Wait, your roommate told you someone was killing you?"

"Yeah," Clarke said as she put her head back on Lexa's chest.

"And it didn't scare you."

"No, if it was my time to die, then it was my time to die."

"Sometimes I really don't understand your logic."

"Me neither."

"You're such a weirdo."

"But I'm your weirdo."

"And I love my weirdo," Lexa said giving Clarke a kiss on her head.

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